My Fucking Nightmare

Matt had to fuck everything up, yet again. We no longer held him accountable for all the crap he pulled on the last big tour. The whole being booed off stage, the drunken stupor, the embarrassing publicity he gave us…we let it slide, as brothers usually did. And now, everything was back into being a cluster fuck. What made it all worse was his choice of involving me. While I couldn’t call him out on it, as I was apparently the only one he could talk to about it, I felt all that pressure just pile on.
And what would I ever say to Brian? It was like walking on eggshells the entire fucking time we were away. There were so many things that could have happened, and would have happened, if Matt just let it slip after downing a few too many brews. Christ, it was bad enough believing that Brian would have beat the shit out of Matt. But finding out that I knew about the whole thing? No thank you. For that, I was pissed at him. Being an unwanted proxy to his punishment. Why was there always so much drama?
We were over halfway done the two month stint. I never thought too much into the issue but Brian was droning on and on about some shit that had gone down at his place while we were away. I guess the security system he bought and had installed failed miserably like, a week after we left and his place was broken into while Melissa was in the shower. For a while I couldn’t understand why a bunch of little fuckers would completely ignore someone in the bathroom, unless they didn’t hear the water running over the furious beating of their hearts. Okay, there was room for several possibilities, but I wasn’t going to ramble on about them. It wasn’t my place to say anything. I just needed to show Brian I was with him in fear and concern over his fiancée. Cheating fiancée, I might bitterly add.
To that extent I’d say Melissa’s hand was forced. She went and stayed at Matt’s for the remainder of our tour. Probably a good idea, except that it turned out to be the complete opposite. And we got that phone call just before midnight as we approached Spokane. Of all fucking things that could have gone wrong, this happened. They followed her to Matt’s at some point on her way up there and came back in the middle of the night.
I didn’t ask for the full details. I didn’t wanna know how bad they hurt her. I didn’t want to know anything else. It was ignorant, yes, but I knew too much already and the amount of anger between both Brian and Matt was enough for this lifetime. The rest of us knew when to back off, and we did.
We all knew what was going on here. Somewhere down the line the record company was dealing with this new band looking for a big break. The same way we did before our first record. I’ll just say that kids are ruthless. Growing up in Hollywood, being privileged, having rich families…it wasn’t easy for them to say no. Well, I guess the record company told them no, that their stuff just wasn’t good enough. They even asked our opinion, to which we agreed. Sorry kids, but it just won’t get you off the ground.
In that sense of the word, they reacted dangerously. As dangerous kids would. Bunch of little psychos knew where to find us, our houses…our families. While I wouldn’t ever say it to the other guys, I was grateful Jamie stayed with her parents for the time we were gone. I was lucky not to have to deal with this, on top of everything else. And I’ll be honest: for Brian not to kill all these little fuckers, he must have had a lot more willpower than I would have.
Aside from Matt who wanted nothing better than to take matters into his own hands. Naturally. Raised tough, acted tough. He was big enough to be intimidating. If you didn’t know him the way we did, anyway.
Melissa was in the hospital for weeks. Months. Over time we were given more details about what happened. The cops had leads on these kids. I guess for a while they skipped town. Which didn’t stop Zack from having protection services and security around his home all the time. We were, for the most part, completely vulnerable. Pretty much torn apart from the inside. And I’ll admit, I was scared that this was the breaking point for our band. We couldn’t handle anything else. We needed something good to happen: a miracle.
I suppose, in an optimistic way of thinking about the catastrophe, was that it ended before anything extremely catastrophic happened. Melissa called and texted Gina just urgently enough to make her realize something bad had happened and that Gina’s response to calling the cops was what saved Melissa’s life. I don’t think enough credit was given to Gina for what she did. She, too, arrived on the scene just around the time the cops did. Which, in another sense. Probably showed those little punks her face which catalyzed their appearance on Zack’s property a short few weeks later.
Only they were met with surprise as Matt and I were present at the time.
Needless to say, bones were broken. The cops came again, took us all into custody. Matt was fined for assault but the charges were waived when the court found him only trying to protect the property and family of his band member. I believe he spent a week or two—maybe, I can’t recall—in county lockup. Nothing serious, but man were his hands bruised and split open. When we saw the mug shots of the other guys, though. I mean, there was getting your ass beaten, but this was a whole new level of ass-battery. Maybe his temper was beneficial.
I gotta say though, as involved as Matt was in this whole shindig really didn’t settle his score. I was actually surprised that Brian was dense enough not to question why he felt the need to be so involved. I guess I could understand that Brian had a lot more on his mind, like the baby. The album. The security of everything else. Still, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that there definitely was something going on there. Johnny and I actually discussed it several times, and I refused to comment, probably burying the hatchet a little deeper.
On the bright side, Melissa was released from the hospital with little to no remaining injury. This time, fortunately, Brian wasn’t questioned for beating the hell out of her like before when she took that fall and smashed up a couple ribs. We were all questioned, yes, but the cops knew we weren’t the sons of bitches who did her in like that. Thank god for DNA kits and alibis. Maybe I was grateful to be away on tour. After all, those punks were wearing the gear they stole from Melissa and Brian’s. For their effort and planning, it was pretty genius. Sick, but genius.
After a while things settled down. Melissa and Brian planned their wedding. I assume their relationship was still stable, besides his constant bitching and moaning about her not being emotionally ready for sex. Come on, Brian. The girl was scarred for life, poor thing.
In the time between the incident and the wedding, I suppose I began to obsess over the whole triangle between Melissa, Matt, and Brian. At first, I felt it was forced since Jamie practically forced me to be present during her chats with Sadie. Ugh, as interested in the occult and the darkness it brought, all this nonsense about psychics and their ways of reading between the lines was a little over the top for me.
Until, I thought, it started to get eerily realistic.
Melissa hadn’t released any dates in mind for her wedding. The planning stage was longer and more tedious than most weddings, including my own, but with all the drama that happened since her engagement there was a level of understanding that was, for the most part, universal. Sadie told us the date it would fall on, and not a half a day later Melissa confirmed the date.
She confirmed the guests, who refused to attend, and the majority of the details that really didn’t matter. She revealed the birth of the baby, which would begin during the reception. With all the stress of the wedding and everything else, it wasn’t all too far-fetched. We’d just have to wait and see.
And when I thought the session was over, I was about to call Matt and go shoot some pool or something. Get out of the house or whatever. Jamie told me not to go, just as Sadie rushed to the bathroom as she usually did following a session. I should probably add that during these sessions Sadie underwent the therapy of some mind-altering drugs to enhance the effect of her “all-seeing” bullshit. Hallucinogens, mostly. Whether it was LSD or mushrooms, opium. I really didn’t care for it all, honestly.
Usually by the time the session was over I was gone. It wasn’t uncommon for Sadie to run to the bathroom to vomit, since I was certain she was convinced that puking everything up would take the high away. Oh, no. Jamie told me quietly that this usually didn’t happen, that there was rarely a rapid trip to the bathroom. That something else had happened. So I asked Sadie when she came out, if there was anything else she’d like to have added before I pretty much kicked her out.
All she said was, “I see death.” I guess my sense of optimism pretty much bottomed out at that point.
A death in the family, perhaps? Boy was I ever wrong.

Notes

Yes, I probably should have added before the last three chapters, that I did overlap time frames to go along with Trashed and Scattered. All the same, this story will succeed that timeline and continue on its own, solo path.

I apologize for factual discrepancies between the two stories, a lot of it is based on memory alone. And sometimes, I'd like to chalk it up to differences in the way each of them recall the events that took place. All things considered, I hope none of you find it irrelevant. If you'd like, I can break it up and make a new story altogether. Let me know what you think, but we're onto something, people.