My Fucking Nightmare

A month before my lease expired I was faced with several options, all of which Matt and I discussed over the phone. He wanted me to have all my stuff moved into his place, but I didn’t have the help I needed to move a whole truckload of shit across Beverly Hills. Matt’s place was beautiful. Moving there was something I didn’t want to hesitate to do, and the best part was that my lease expired just as they were about to return home. Luckily enough for me, I didn’t have much more waiting to do, as I’d be working pretty much every day until then. I kept myself busy, entertained. Visited with my new posse comprised of Melissa and the other two wives of our group. We all shared the same emotions which made this transition all the more bearable.
Notwithstanding, I had to arrange a way to start moving my shit to Matt’s. Finding a ride there every day to look after Bishop was a massive bitch. Melissa had lots to do now that her article had gotten out there. She locked herself away most of the time and wrote, only surfacing for air maybe an hour or two around lunch and dinner. That being said, I tried spending as much time as I could at Matt’s, rather at our place, but then work was no longer within walking distance. Cab fares were something I couldn’t afford ten or more times each week. I’d be driving had I not gotten a DUI when I was a teenager, practically wrapping my car around a telephone pole. Been too scared to get behind the wheel ever since.
Not that any of that matters, but my point is that it’s complicated and annoying being so cut off on the top of the hill. For now I found that my only option was to keep looking for a roommate. I wasn’t picky. If I hadn’t found Matt I’d have renewed the lease and just found a roommate and continued doing what I’d been doing.
I printed hundreds of fliers off and sent the ad to the news. Internet wasn’t big just yet so I was more likely to get more views on fliers and ads than postings on public forums. And since it was L.A. people got most of their news from tabloids and papers anyway. Melissa even offered to feature my ad in the paper she started publishing to: the Travel Channel magazine. Lucky bitch.
In the first week I had the basic inquiries, probably no more than ten or fifteen people asking about location, rent, pet allowances, party allowances. Nothing crazy or strange and no serious takers. The following couple weeks I had a couple more hits, and by that time my landlord was getting antsy about getting an answer from me about what I was planning on doing and how the hell I was going to make rent, because he knew I worked shit hours at a bar downtown and there was no way I could make a thousand dollars for a month. Not including all the other bills I had.
Thankfully though, I did get one hit. A serious hit from an anonymous buyer. All I knew was that their name was A. G. and they were new to the city, looking for a place close to the beaches and close enough to the downtown part of the city. The buyer emailed me with more miniscule details and the more I probed, the more I was able to tell that this was a more secretive buyer. A little sketchy, but I was used to sketchy. It was possible this buyer was on the down-low, possibly a drug dealer or hitman, who the hell knows. I didn’t care as long as my lease was renewed. I could have used another roommate ‘til the boys returned. And above all, I definitely wouldn’t tell Matt if I was sketched out by this possible buyer either. I didn’t need the extra stress of his worry and concern.
After a week of chatting back and forth anonymously, the person finally closed in and confirmed that they were interested and ready to invest in this place.
I told the person to meet me at my bar, where it would be nice and open, with no risk of anything going wrong. I warned the bouncers beforehand to be wary of anyone suspicious-looking, not that I wanted to pass judgment right away, but again, who knew what could have happened. I had no idea who the hell I was looking for. As oblique as the details were, I couldn’t even tell if it was a man or a woman I was talking with. They were too discreet, so my paranoia was definitely justified.
An hour into my shift, one of my colleagues came around and found me, informing me that there was a man looking for me by my AOL address. Interested, yet somewhat alarmed, I informed my manager I’d be stepping out of the bar area for a little break, to talk to this mystery person. One of the other girls covered for me and I met the patron at a table close to the door. Christ, this was weird. I reminded the bouncer to be on alert.
I sat at the table, looking at every detail I could about this guy in case anything happened. He seemed nice enough. Bald, young-looking, smiling. A bushy goatee covering his chin and surrounding his mouth. He had a couple tattoos on his arms, shrouded at the elbow by a black t-shirt with a logo I somewhat recognized: Ghost Adventures. Weird. “Hi.” He blurted out, extending his hand to shake with mine. “I’m Aaron. Your buyer. Er, renter. Whatever you wanted someone for on your ad.”
“Oh, right. The mystery guy. I’m Harriet.”
“Oh, Harriet. Harry for short. You thought I was a guy, didn’t you.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, I totally did. My bad, doesn’t mean the offer is off, does it? And I’m sorry about all the weird shit from the emails. My ex has been an obsessive bitch so I’ve been trying to get away from that. If she found out I was living in another place, in another state, I’d be fucked.”
In turn, I cocked my eyebrow. “Right. Well, I’m looking for a roommate. Temporary, for like a month.”
Aaron smiled and dug around in his pants pocket, pulling out a wad of cash. “Whatever this will get me. Last couple of lockdowns we earned a bunch of cash. Especially since one was published in the Travel Channel magazine. Lots of fans looking for shit that’ll scare them silly and we give it to them. I have my own line of merch, fan base.”
“Yeah, I know who you are. It was my ex-roommate Melissa who did that paper. You guys got her the boost she needed, and I never get to see her anymore.”
“Woah, small world then. She did really well; we were impressed.”
I laughed. “Melissa has a talent for words, but that’s beside the point. You’re part of the Ghost Adventures crew. Aren’t you guys based out of Vegas? Los Angeles is a bit of a distance. Guess if you’re looking to get away from your gal though…Los Angeles is a great place to lose someone.” I hoped he didn’t hear the bitterness in my voice. Truthfully, I wished that Melissa never met Brian. I wished she was still my roommate and not this author coming up into fame. She had it all: the rocker boyfriend, publicity to do what she wanted. And I was a bartender at a club downtown. I was lucky enough to become the wife of the singer of the same band. Even that wasn’t really something to go on. No one paid attention to the girl on the sidelines. No red carpet shows, no VIP passes. It just wasn’t heard of.
And now I’d possibly be living with a television icon. “So…you’re pretty serious then. What about traveling then? Your friends, the other crew members. Any drugs or parties or anything that I should know about? Seeing as we’re going to be roommates.”
“We’re gone a lot of the time so the only time you’ll see me is after an episode. Gone for at least two weeks at a time. We’re too busy for that shit most of the time. It’s more than just going to a place and scoping out spirits and energy. We gotta weed out the nut jobs.”
“And here I thought you guys were the nut jobs. Is any of that shit true or is it all made up for the camera?”
Aaron bit his cheek with disdain, and I could tell he really didn’t want to answer that question. “Uh…off the top of my head we do get spooked but I’m not entirely sure if the equipment is reliable enough to pick up the phenomena we’re looking for. Zak is a bit obsessed. He’s the one that roped Nick and I into it. Nick gets spooked easier than I do but the job itself is pretty freaky. We experience our fair share of terrifying stuff. And I think your friend Melissa was pretty spooked when we did that hotel in Las Vegas.”
Chuckling, I nodded. “Like most reality television here. Half of it is bullshit and the other half…at least an effort was made. I totally get it. My husband—we got married in Vegas when Melissa was with you guys—he’s away on tour with his band. Between shows they work hard with press conferences, stuff for the fans. It’s all work. So much effort and energy put into something worth consuming, and a lot of it boils down to being more than any of them can handle.”
“Right, I know. What does your husband say about all that? About you needing a roommate and everything? Kinda strange for newlyweds to not be living together.”
I sighed. “Long story short, he went on tour before I could move in and I don’t have the means of moving my shit into his place. So for now, while I wait for him to come back, I’m carrying out the rest of my term on the lease. He offered to pay it out like Melissa’s man did, but I wouldn’t let him because I needed to find someone to take over anyway.”
“I see. Well, I am more than happy to take that burden off your shoulders, miss. When can I move in?”
“As soon as your stuff gets to my door.”
He smiled and tossed the money to me. “It’s a deal, then.”

Notes

Looking for fellow Ghost Adventure fans!