My Fucking Nightmare

When I got home it was mid-afternoon and somewhat cloudy, which added to my depressed feelings about leaving Brian’s, as I always felt when doing so. I was shocked when I entered my house to see that everything was sparkling clean, and Harriet sat at the table munching on some cereal. I figured that cereal looked pretty tasty so I grabbed a bowl, a spoon, and the milk jug from the fridge and joined her. “How’re you today?” I asked her, her attention still focussed on the newspaper in front of her. Harriet seldom read those things, but something must have caught her eye.
“Okay, how are you?” she asked monotonously, her attention never diverting from the pages.
“I’m fine. I figured it would be necessary to tell you that Brian asked me to move in with him.”
She stopped everything she was doing: eyes moving over the page, soft chewing of the cereal, even stopped breathing for a second before she turned around at me with an expression I’d never seen before. “Oh. That was fast.”
I shrugged and took the first bite of my cereal. I’d always hated cheerios so I don’t know why I started eating them just then. “I’ll admit I was a little bit taken aback but he’s…really lonely. I mean, everyone else sort of lives in a clustered area in town. Brian’s on the other side of the city. With his dog. It’s just…I don’t know, I wasn’t sure how to answer him.”
“What’s stopping you?” she asked as she picked up the newspaper again, flicking the pages as if she were telling me to piss off. Anyone could have seen how pissed she became, but I had to tell her. It quickly became my biggest regret, but I hadn’t been friends with her long enough to take any of her shit.
I shook my head, rolling my eyes in the presence of her attitude. “Jesus, bitter much? I told you it wouldn’t be for another few months if I did decide to go. He just wanted to tell me that he wanted me to live with him.”
“You’ve been together what, a month? Two at the most?”
“I told you from the beginning that he was a fast paced guy. They live a fast paced lifestyle. I’d give it another few weeks, maybe a month before Matt said the same thing to you.” I shut her up, finished my cereal, and then receded to my bedroom to stay in for the rest of the night. Brian and I texted back and forth. Nothing outside the norm, but I brought up the “moving in” situation, and he wasn’t sure what to say. He asked me if I thought he shouldn’t have said anything, or if I should have waited to say anything to Harriet. I told him that I was eager for our relationship to move along just as fast as he intended. I wasn’t getting cold feet, and I wasn’t about to succumb to Harriet’s bitching about me moving out.
I wanted to go back to his place for the night. Maybe stay there a couple nights, even a week while Harry calmed down. Maybe she’d call Matt to stay at our place for a bit. But I wasn’t optimistic. “Would you like me to come pick you up, babe?” he asked me. I could hear Pinkly yipping excitedly in the background. Almost as if she was desperate for me to be her live-in friend, too. “I’d rather you be here and happy than there and mad. I can always cheer you up.”
“I wouldn’t want to impose. You drove here once already today, baby. It’s okay, I’ll just stay here. But can I ask you something? It’s about Matt.”
“Well, of course.”
I sighed. “Is he…anything like you at all? Like does he want things you want? Or is he just trying to figure himself out? I guess I’m just starting to get vibes that Harry is jealous of us, and I was wondering if maybe Matt is jealous as well.”
He pondered in silence for a minute. “Can’t really think of anything off the bat, Liss. Matt’s been through a lot. Seems like he’s been bitching about Harriet stringing him along lately. I guess I can see that. She’s no you, that’s for sure.”
“Oh, right, with me putting out after our first few dates together. I was in good spirits and confident, Brian.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
“I’m not complaining, Liss!” he chuckled. “All I’m saying is that I can see where they’re both coming from. With being jealous and all that. You and I are probably way better for each other than Harry is with Matt. I don’t know, might not be true. All I’m saying is that you said this morning that she’s an insecure girl. Probably confused about what she wants. If Matt is the right guy for her, they’ll make it work. But how they are together…I know for a fact that they don’t have what we have.”
I tried to put aside all harsh feelings about today. It relaxed me, gave me a sort of hope that Harriet would find what worked for her. I knew deep down that it would be a good, long while until she found what happiness she needed and deserved. Right as I was about to say goodbye to Brian I heard the door slam. My guess was that she went to work, frustrated and angry. “I think my house is empty tonight.”
“Oh, wicked. I might just have to come down then.” I rolled my eyes as he laughed. “Pinkly should be alright for a night. What do you say?”
“I’d be okay with seeing you again. I’ve got more wine…and beer.”
He shrieked with excitement. “Looks like I’m hurdling towards you as we speak. See you in a few, baby.” He hung up and I flopped back into the pillows of my bed. Gazing around my room I realized it was a disaster zone so I’d have to shove all my dirty laundry either under the bed or in the closet. Brian seemed like the guy who didn’t care, seeing as his place wasn’t moderately clean or dirty, but sort of that comfortable mixture where the mess was under control. I admittedly hadn’t been home enough to take care of my room or living space.
I heard his truck outside my open window. The engine shut off and the driver’s door opened and shut. He buzzed up just as I rushed to the intercom to let him in and waited for his clunky footsteps to meet me at my door.
He wasn’t dressed up, nor did he wear any eyeliner or makeup of any kind. His fedora sat on top of his bandana-covered hair. I pulled the hat off and tossed it aside, then pulled the bandana away. I could see where the black dye was already fading in the strings of his hair. He leaned down so I could stand on the tips of my toes, just tall enough to reach his forehead. “Come on, I’ll grab you a beer.” I said through pursed lips as he pulled in to kiss me.

Notes