My Fucking Nightmare

We rode to Huntington that Saturday. It took a hell of a lot of convincing for Harriet to get on a bike, but as hesitant as she was, she thoroughly enjoyed it. Melissa and Brian arranged the whole thing, only Melissa forgot to tell Harriet that we’d be biking for about an hour. And, well, as used to long rides as Brian and I were, the girls were sure to be sore. I packed a bag with beer and jerky bites, some water for the lady. Lots of sunscreen and a couple towels. We invited everyone else but they were all busy doing whatever it was that occupied them. I wasn’t about to sit around and wait. Hadn’t been to Huntington in a few months. Certainly not since before our last tour.
We left around nine or ten. Brisk winds and a little overcast was expected, but we weren’t afraid of rain. It was California. Rain didn’t come that often anymore. Regardless, the warm air made up for it all. And Huntington never failed to be warm and sunny.
Like we’d predicted it took an hour or so to get there. The highways were a little crowded, so it’s safe to say we made it in record timing. Just after ten thirty, we headed straight for our private section of the beach. We had to ditch the bikes and walk down a rough, sandy road full of long grass and tiny rocks that washed up when the tide rose. It was about a fifteen minute stroll through the blistering hot sand when we finally hit the spot that hardly anyone visited. Our volleyball net was still standing from years of use. And the ball was still buried under the sand in a plastic bag, in near perfect condition.
First, we’d drink a beer or two. Get set up, lay some towels, and apply an additional layer of sunscreen. Melissa and Brian massaged the lotion into one another on their towels. Harriet and I were still getting over our awkward touching phase. Obviously nothing would get better until she and I slept together, but at the rate things were moving, I’d assume it wouldn’t happen for a long time. Probably not a bad thing, but for me getting freaky was a way of expressing not only my emotional love and adoration, but my physical care. Hadn’t had the opportunity to truly do that…forget it, I didn’t want to open that can of worms again.
“Get a fucking room.” I snarled at Brian and Melissa as they stopped applying sunscreen to each other, and lay alongside each other, full-on making out. I assumed Brian would finally be getting some after a week of bitching about her womanly issues. Guy had a lot of patience, but he was preaching to the choir about having to wait to get some. Hell, maybe I was being too bitter about it.
I got my answer when the lovebirds got up and headed for the water hand-in-hand, leaving Harry and I on the beach. “Look at them,” she sighed, kicking some sand around with her toes. “So happy. Do you think it’s because they’re so intimate all the time? Like, is that what we’re missing?”
“Maybe.” I agreed to disagree. Didn’t want to sound like a douche. “He played his cards a little differently than I did. Same goes for her. Perhaps we ought to switch things up a bit. What do you say?”
She looked over at me, her big ass sunglasses damn near taking up half her pretty face. “Matt, you know I won’t mess around with you if you’re not ready for it yet. I feel like I’m starting to come around…but I’m kinda glad we’re taking it slow.”
In a way I agreed. My junk begged to differ, but if I was going to play my own cards right and score this girl on more than one level, I’d have to play along and wait. “All we have is time.”
“I was sort of waiting for a special occasion for it to be our first time.” Special occasion? When would there be a special occasion? “You know, I mean our fifth or sixth date. I think this counts as the third. We could plan something nice. Dinner, a movie.”
“I always wanted to try setting up a bunk in the truck bed. We could drive here, sit on the beach, and watch the stars. Man does it ever light up out there around here. We don’t have all that Los Angeles pollution, you know? It’s breathtaking.”
She snickered. “I never took you for a scenery loving guy.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’d be surprised what secrets I’ve got up my sleeve. All good things, of course.”
I leaned over to her and kissed her like I did several times now. She had the softest lips, the cutest little pucker I’d ever felt. I didn’t hear Brian and Melissa leave the water as the only noise around us was the crashing waves and seagulls frantically screeching as they always did. “Hey, water’s nice.” Brian called from behind us. “Gonna come in?”
“Just stretching my back, man. Haven’t biked that far in months.” They sat down on their towels again and opened up their own bags, pulling out what appeared to be sandwiches in plastic bags. I’ll admit I was jealous that I hadn’t thought that far ahead to plan bringing sandwiches.
Harriet snacked on some of the jerky I brought and sipped a beer. “Hmm, so how about a game of volleyball?” I never suspected that she played. Seems like we’d be figuring out an awful lot about each other today. Might as well start somewhere.
After Melissa and Brian finished their sandwiches we brushed up and started a game of volleyball. I was a little rusty and my back was still kinda sore from the ride. I was damn grateful to have Harry on my team, because we began kicking some serious ass. Usually I had Jimmy and Johnny on my side. Brian, Zack, and Gina made sure they dominated every game, every time. It was nice switching stuff up.
My only advantage was a mean swing. I could spike and serve the ball pretty well, usually hitting Melissa by accident, but I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t ever hit the ball gently enough to just get it over the net. Usually got teased for it anyways, but the boys wished they could smash that fucking ball like I could. Brian was almost as good, but he could control his urge to drive the ball into my face. I suppose, in one way or another, it was my way of coping with whatever anger I had built up inside.
It dawned on me, the reason why I’d been preoccupied and having little concern with sex. The anger clouded my thoughts. Made everything grey when it wasn’t rosy red. Probably some kind of depression, and I was willing to admit my vulnerability. I guess when my world fell apart I never properly addressed it all like I should have. I wish I had. I wish I had so that when things started picking up with Harriet I wouldn’t feel like I’d be letting her down all the time. Oh god, hopefully she didn’t feel that way too.
We played volleyball until the sun began to set. Once our game was over Brian and I agreed that it was time to pack up and go since it got fucking cold on bikes especially when our clothes were still damp from swimming. The girls were half-cut on beer. I’ll admit I was feeling great earlier when I’d drank my sixth, but that was hours ago. Brian and I made sure we were sober before riding. Otherwise we’d have to get a hotel room because there was no way I was going to freeze my shit trying to bike home in the dark. Wasn’t worth it. I knew from experience.
It took a little less than an hour to get home this time; there was a lot less traffic and few cops on the road so we sped it up a little. Harriet must have been tuckered out because she leaned against my back, helmet digging into my spine—which didn’t hurt as much as I found it adorable—so for the whole ride I had Brian give me a thumbs up as he made sure she was still holding on and not dragging down the street behind us.
When we got back to Los Angeles we headed straight for Harriet and Melissa’s place where I went in with Harry to tuck her into bed. I stayed the night. Brian and Melissa took off back to his place. I asked him to check on Bishop first, which he did.
Harriet was way too drunk to change out of her still-damp bathing suit, and I wasn’t about to cross that line. I was not that type of guy by far. I put a dry towel on the bed before she crawled in under the sheets and hoped for the best. “Are you going to stay?” She asked. It was a silly question. I told her I’d stay and crawled into bed beside her, flicking on the television as I did. Her hand wandered around my body. For a few moments I became a little bit concerned and conflicted. She was very drunk. I was quite riled up. And it took every fibre of my body to shush her to sleep even though her hand rested on my junk. Part of me hoped that she’d still feel that way in the morning. Part of me wished it was just the alcohol.
But all of me was fucking exhausted. So like Harriet, just as my head hit the pillow, I wrapped both arms around her as she lay on her side facing me, and dozed off.

Notes