Zack’s POV

I couldn’t fucking believe Gates! After everything I’d done for that motherfucker, he couldn’t even let me have this one lay? The chick was so fucking hot and those luscious lips were ready to play with my dick. Damn…I could only image how hot it would sound for her to moan my name as I buried myself balls deep into that tight little pussy. Fucking hell, I was so close to seeing some action that it wasn’t even funny! Action that I hadn’t seen since that night with Jo at the bar! I was beyond frustrated and now all I had to look forward was getting Gates’ drunk ass home and checking in with Christ.

Besides, there was no way Gates sealed the deal that quickly, but then again, there was the proof on his collar. That lucky son of a bitch! How did he get everything he wanted? First the little blonde and now that chick at the bar? And just when I thought Jimmy might be onto something about him and the Pagano girl. Too fucking bad, I would have loved to rag his ass about falling for the forbidden fruit. I guess I would just have to settle for a little cock-block revenge or a favor from Gates.

Unfortunately the revenge or a favor wouldn’t cure the worst case of blue balls known to man. I mean, it was literally painful to breath and the strain on crotch of my pants from pressing the gas pedal was antagonizing. This fucking sucked and the word ‘frustrated’ didn’t even begin to cover how I felt.

With a groan, I pulled into compound garage and Gates stumbled out of the car. That fucking idiot—I hadn’t even pulled into park and he was already flying out the door. Sure he was drunk but what was so important that he couldn’t wait until the car came to a stopped? I had my suspicions that the little blonde had something to do with his brash actions, but I wasn’t about to chase after him to prove a non-valid point. Gates was like a dog in heat when he was drunk and there was no doubt he was just looking for his next piece of ass before he passed out.

“Fuck this,” I muttered as I painfully pulled my aching body from the car. I better see some kind of action soon or someone was going to pay. Hell, if Gates dared say one more word to me tonight he would come face-to-face with my left fist. See if I ever covered for his ass again. I should have just let Shads rip him a new asshole for not showing up to shift yesterday. Though deep down, I knew that I never would leave my best friend out to dry like that. The guy was like my brother and we had saved each other’s asses time and time again.

With a sigh I slowly made my way through the back door, hearing the loud pop from the air-pressurized door before the lock fell into place behind me. Now all I needed to do was find Christ to check in. I just hoped we didn’t need to go back out on patrol because there was no way Gates was up for an all-nighter.

“Yo short shit any news?” I asked, adjusting my pants before leaning against the doorframe. Johnny looked up at me from his paper-covered desk, his brow furred slightly. He was wearing a pair of headphones and appeared to be watching bootlegged surveillance footage of the Pagano estate. He looked just as flustered as I felt.

Johnny ran his hands over his face and pulled his headphones down around his neck. “No…nothing,” he sighed. “It’s very quiet on all fronts….too quiet. Did you and Gates see anything?”

“Not a damn things,” I said before flopping down in the armchair in the corner of the small room. “It was so dead that Gates and I check out Johnny’s Saloon for a little bit.”

Johnny chuckled and shook his head. “So in other words you bastards when out to party while Rev and I are stuck here doing all the dirty work?”

“Hey, when you get shot at on a weekly basis, then you can bitch to me about going out on a down day,” I teased as Christ raised his middle finger at me. “But anyway, does Shads have any other jobs for us tonight?”

“I actually haven’t seen him at all tonight.” Johnny leaned back in his chair and reached for his pack of cigarettes. “Like I said, it’s been quiet on all fronts. Pagano has either gone into hiding or is secretly scheming something in closed corners.”

“His men aren’t quite though,” I muttered as the embers glowed on the end of his cigarette. “You could hear the screams coming from his territory. My guess is they are raiding everyone’s house to find those girls. Too bad they’ll never find them…” I chuckled. “Shads will make sure of that.”

“Yeah,” Johnny said looking thoughtful. “Shads hasn’t said anything about the ransom plan or an exchange….which is rather fucked up for him. Usually he wants to get this shit over with. Is it just me or has Shads been off lately?” He asked, blowing out a cloud of smoke before offering me a puff.

“No, something is definitely off,” I agreed, thinking back to incident with a partially dressed in the living room. Was something going on there? No…there couldn’t be. He was the boss and wouldn’t break his own rules. That was the Matt that we all knew. There had to be another explanation for his strange behavior. Maybe he was just worried about Pagano finding out that we had his daughters before we made our move.

Hell, we were all on edge about this whole kidnapping situation but we had to follow through. Once we reached the one-month mark we could take the next step and send our ransom letter. Of course we would assume a false identity and the money would come rolling in but we also had to watch our backs. As soon as the information was out, Pagano’s men would be hunting and searching even harder. We were just lucky that someone else was trying to take credit for our actions and we could sneak in Pagano’s backdoor. The only problem was that everything seemed to have died down except for Pagano’s anger. His men were still ruthlessly searching ever nook and cranny for those girls. Too bad he didn’t have any clue where they actually were.

“I’ll keep and eye on him and let you know what I find,” I yawned passing Christ back his cigarette and patting his shoulder. “I’m off to bed. We should bring up the Pagano situation at tomorrows meeting too. We’ve got to do something because it seems like Pagano may be onto us…why else would everything be so quiet?”

“Maybe he is making a secret deal elsewhere?” Johnny offered.

“I guess but I still think we would have seen something. Then again, maybe Jimbo has something to report back. Either way, I’m going to bed,” I said before heading out the door and ignoring whatever short shit said as I left.

As I made my way towards my room, all I could think about was that hot little number from the bar. What I would give to have her, or hell any woman waiting for me in my room. The only problem was the that the one woman I wanted the most right now was probably locking in Shads room. Those long legs, perfect ass, long dark hair, and those piercing blue eyes…oh what I would give to hear her cry my name one more time…

Wait a second; was that actually crying? I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around to find Jo curled up in the corner next to the bookshelf. What the hell was she doing out here? And more importantly, why was she crying?

“Jo?” I asked, kneeling down in front of her as set my hand on her shoulder. “Don’t touch me!” she cried, pulling away and sinking further into the corner. Even with her face buried in her hands I could see how hard she was crying. Why was she so upset? Did Matt lose his temper with her?

“Jo, what’s wrong? What happened?” I asked as I pulled her into my arms. I didn’t know what was going on but no girl deserved to be that upset.

“Leave me… please… just leave me alone!”

I gently ran my hand up and down her back, doing the only thing I knew how to do, my temper and concern building all the while. I was pissed off at Shads for leaving her in this state. What the hell was he thinking and where the hell was he anyway? Though…maybe I could make this work to my advantage. You know, gain her trust a little bit. “I’m not leaving you crying here in the middle of the floor, come on. I’ll take you to my room and you can relax a little, tell me what got you so upset?”

“Just bring me to the room… please… Just leave me alone. I need to be alone…” Just bring her to the room? Did she mean the prison room? Why the hell would she rather go there than stay with me? It was cold and damp in there!

“This just isn’t my goddamned day…” I muttered under my breath before trying a new approach. “Jo, you know you could tell me right? I could be there for you…” I said with a sincere smile. I hated seeing her so upset and whoever did this to her was going to pay.

Unfortunately Jo shut down after that and I had no choice but to take her to the prison room. I really wished she had agreed to come with me. I could have turned her world around. Maybe if I gave her a little space I could gain her trust and get her to come to me… “I’ll have a look again later tonight, let me know if you need anything, just yell for me, okay?” I said before giving her a little kiss to remember me by.

Jo looked at me with those beautiful tear-filled eyes and opened and closed her mouth a few times before the door fell shut between us. God she was breathtaking even when she looked so sad. Those eyes were burned into my memory and sadness I saw there really infuriated me. What the hell happened to make her so upset? Did Shadows step out of line? Did he hurt her when he lost his temper? I’d never known Matt to raise a hand to a woman but with all the stress we were under and his odd behavior, I didn’t know anymore. I was going to find out what happened and make it right, that was for damn sure.

Without a second thought, I made my way toward Shadow’s office, my blood boiling. Though when I turned the corner I was surprised to hear yelling coming from the main entrance. “What the fuck…?”

“So you admit it! You do have someone else!” A shrill voice that made my dick shrivel in my pants. That wasn’t – fuck no. Shads said he cut her lose months ago, so why would she show her horse face here now?

“It’s none of your fucking business if I do or not!” Matt’s voice raged before it softened ever so slightly. He must have grabbed her and changed direction. Though I was more interested in what they were talking about. “And now you need to leave and keep your goddamned mouth shut!”

“What? Afraid your ‘girlfriend’ will hear me and know the truth?!” What a minute! A Girlfriend? Matt doesn’t have a girlfriend. What the fuck was this bitch talking about? “That M. Shadows is a fucking player and you will dump her as soon as you’re bored too? Well, guess what, Matt? You wont see the last of me! I’m going to tell everyone that the mighty M. Shadows is pussy whipped and is losing his touch!”

I slowly crept down the hallway as the conversation turned to a dull unintelligible mumble. What the hell was going on? Was there any truth to April’s words? I didn’t know but my brain was instantly buzzing with thoughts about who Shads was seeing for some action now.

“You run your mouth, you die. Do you understand?” I heard Matt say as I reached the corner. Wow he really meant business, didn’t he? “And I never want to see you here again. My men will continue to look out for you, but all other contact ends here. Got it?” Yeah that threat worked so well the last time…

“Yes,” April sighed, as I peaked around the corner to see her looking a little more than flustered. Matt must have ruffed her feathers when the conversation turned to grunts and whispers. “I just think you’ll regret your decision. Then again, you know where to find me,” she said reaching for the door. “Give my best to your girlfriend.”

There was that word again – girlfriend. Who the hell was she talking about? Obviously there was something to this allegation or else Shads wouldn’t be so flustered right now, or punching the wall… Wait a minute…

My mind instantly flashed back to Jo’s tear-filled and then back to Matt and April scene. Was something going on between Matt and Jo? Was that why she was so upset? Oh I would fucking kill him if that were the case, especially since I saw her first! If anyone was going to have a thing with Jo, it was going to be me. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I was going to find out by testing my new theory.

“Argh that fucking bitch…I should have just killed her when I had the chance!” Matt bellowed before I cleared my throat to let him know I was there.

“Everything okay, boss?” I asked with a smirk adorning my lips. Oh he could try and hid the truth but I would find out what was going on and use it to my advantage. They didn’t call me Vengeance for nothing. That was for damn sure. “I see the bitch came back…”

“Mind your own damn business, Vee,” Matt snapped, narrowing his eyes at me. “What do you want anyway?”

I shuffled my foot against the floor as I looked around the foyer. Hmm…how did I want to approach this? Ah yes, I had information about Jolie that he would surely want in a few minutes. He would have to ask for it and in the meantime, I would watch his reaction. You know, see how long it took him to notice the forbidden fruit was gone.

If my suspicions were right, he would notice she was missing right away and avoid asking if I saw her. If I were wrong, he would be more flustered and ask if I had seen her right away, considering that Matt was a straight to the point kind of guy. He only hid things when secrets were involved – that much I knew about my best friend. Oh I could read him, and most of the other guys, like a fucking book.

“I thought I would come check in after patrol,” I chuckled, taunting Matt by walking around the foyer. Shads wasn’t dumb and he could read me too. The only difference was that I wasn’t about to give up my information so freely. “Gates and I didn’t see or hear anything…it was actually rather quite.”

“Did you check in with Christ? He hear anything with their calls?” Matt pushed past me and instantly moved toward the living room, looking around with a wrinkle in his forehead. Was someone missing something?

“Nope, he doesn’t have anything. He said it was quiet on that front too. Do you think he is blocking us again? Trying to see what we’re up to?” I asked, to not give away my hand if you will.

“I don’t fucking know. I’ve been a little busy,” he grumbled, moving around the kitchen and looking under the island and in the corners. I smirked as he continued to search the area, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for.

“What are you looking for?” I taunted, trying not to laugh. He was falling into my trap. “Lose something important?”

Matt instantly stood up and crossed his arms over his chest, looking defensive. “Non of your fucking business and if you’ve got something you’d like to say to me you better do it now,” he challenged, staring me straight in the eye. Come on Shads, you’ve got to do better than that. I’m not fucking afraid of you. “If not, I suggest getting some rest. We’ve got a lot of appointments tomorrow.”

“Nope,” I smirked, letting the ‘p’ pop. “Have a good night, Shads.”

With that I grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped my ass on the couch in front of the TV. I would give him five minutes before he came storming back to the living room, demanding to know where Jo was. This was like fucking child’s play. The only problem was that he was fucking lying to us all and breaking his own damn rules. I couldn’t be certain of his affair yet, but I was going to find out. And when I did, there would be hell to pay!

A few minutes later I heard the door slam and heavy footsteps heading down the hallways. “Where is she?” Shads barked, standing right in front of the TV. He looked beyond pissed which only proved my point.

I scoffed and leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees. This was un-fucking-believable. This bastard was fucking around with Jolie after all the shit and punishment he put me through! You had to be fucking kidding me! But I wasn’t about to let him know I was onto his secret just yet. No, I was going to hear it from the devils mouth before I made my move.

“Where’s who?” I smirked, narrowing my eyes in a challenging way. Oh, this was fucking war!

“Don’t play fucking dumb with me, Vengeance. Where the fuck is Jolie?” Matt took a menacing step towards me and I set my beer down on the coffee table. “I know you have her somewhere!” Yeah, I only wish that were true.

“Why would I have her somewhere?” I asked only for Matt to raise his fists at me. I held my hands up, knowing it wasn’t the right time for me to make my move on this topic. “Alright, alright, relax! I did see Jolie but I didn’t take her anywhere she didn’t want to go.”

“Where. The. Fuck. Is. She?” I could see the vein on Matt’s neck pulsing dangerously and I knew not to push him any further or else I was going to get hit.

“She’s safe…which is more than I could say when I found her balling her eyes out in the study when I came home. What the hell happen?” I snapped, my anger from that situation coming back.

“Where is she now?!” Matt bellowed and I frowned. “She is safe. Just tell me what happened. I think I could help if you just—” I offered, giving him a chance to finally tell the truth.

“TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!”

I sighed and stood up, my eyes meeting his as his chest heaved up and down with anger. “She’s in the prison room but—” I started but never got to finish because as soon as the words left my mouth, Shads was sprinting down the hall. “Something is definitely going on there…” I mused before heading back to my room.

The next morning, I found myself brooding over a cup of coffee at the kitchen island. I had barely slept all night because all I could think about was my best friends betrayal. How could he fucking do this? He knew I called dibs on her first and yet he still was fucking around. Did he know how dangerous it was for him to be involved with that girl? We would have the world’s largest fucking target on our backs if anyone found out…that is if it were actually true.
I still didn’t have definitive proof, but it was only a matter of time before all the cards were laid on the table. Hell, what was he thinking? Were they just fuck buddies like Gates and the blonde sister? Or was there more to it? That is what I needed to find out and if it was just fucking – it should have been me – not Shads!

Suddenly a large crash sounded next to me, breaking me from my train of thought. I looked up to see Jimmy flailing a handful of pans by the stove. When the hell did he get here? “What he hell are you doing, Rev?”

“Making the girls breakfast,” Jimmy replied like it was the easiest answer in the world. Though the wrinkle on his forehead told me there was more to the story. He didn’t get that look unless something was bothering him or he was deep in thought.

“Well make some for me too,” I said, taking another sip of my black coffee. “By the way, how was your night? You were babysitting the blonde princess, right?”

Jimmy stopped what he was doing and looked at me with narrow eyes. “Her name is Emery and I wouldn’t exactly call it babysitting,” he corrected me before turning back to the stove. Was he making his famous loaded pancakes? He only made those when he felt guilty about something…hmm. It seems like Shads isn’t the only one hiding something in this house.

“Well then what exactly do you do with her, Rev?” I asked, leaning forward on the island with my elbows. “You get a little bit of action like Gates last night?”

Jimmy’s brows instantly shot up and his face flushed before he turned away. “No I didn’t get any action. You fucking heard Matt’s rules!” Jimmy said and I rolled my eyes. If only he knew what I knew. “And Gates really went through with it?”

“I guess so,” I shrugged, stealing some of the cut berries from the bowl. “He was quick too. The bastard fucking cock blocked me,” he said and I swear I heard Jimmy said ‘you weren’t the only one.’

“I don’t by it,” Jimmy finally said after putting a very fancy looking plate together. “Something is going on with—Good morning Jolie!”

I quickly turned around to find Matt leading Jo into the kitchen area. “I’ve got some phone calls to make. Can you make sure Jo gets some breakfast and then bring her to my office?” he asked, shooting me a warning look.

“Sure thing, boss,” Jimmy replied with a salute, which only made Jolie giggle. “Right this way, madam.”

I rolled my eyes as Jimmy sat Jo down at the island and made a spectacle of getting her plate ready. What was this the fucking circus? “Weren’t you in the middle of doing something?” I asked, moving over to take the spatula from Jimmy’s hand.

“Oh shit! You’re right! I will be back in a bit. You got this, Vee?” Jimmy asked, picking up the beautifully prepared tray. “Of course I got this…get the hell out of here,” I teased, kicking him in the ass as he left. Finally Jolie and I were alone. The only problem was the silence that had fallen between us.

“So…how are you feeling?” I asked, looking up from the stove and breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between us.

“Fine,” she said, looking into her cup of coffee. Jolie appeared to be deep in thought and I wanted to know more.

“Even after last night? Are you sure you’re okay? You know you can talk to me, right?” I carefully set my hand on top of hers, my eyes meeting those stunning blue orbs for the first time today.

Jolie nodded, looked away, and moved her hand away from me by picking up her coffee mug. “Yep…it was all a misunderstanding… I guess…” she muttered.

“What was a misunderstanding?” I asked, setting a plate of pancakes in front of her. Jo shook her head and cut into her pancakes, trying to dismiss my question. “You know you can talk to me about anything. If Shadows is hurting you then I will—”

“Matt is not hurting me,” Jolie said, her eyes snapping up to mine before they grew wide. She called him Matt! So she did know his first name! That was one of our rules! Don’t tell the girls your real names! Did Emery know Gates’ real name? Either way, something was definitely going on here!

“You don’t have to lie to me, Jo,” I continued, pretending like I didn’t notice her slip-up. “If he is hurting you, scaring you, or making you feel uncomfortable all you have to do is say the word and I will fix it for you. You don’t have to hide anything. Do you understand that?” I asked with a friendly smile as I set my hand onto of hers again. “You and I can help each other out you know,” I continued, walking my fingers up her exposed arms. My god she was beautiful.

“I don’t have anything to hide,” Jo said, pulling away from me and averting her eyes again. Oh, those were lying and avoidance techniques 101, sweetheart. She was definitely hiding something. “Shadows has been rather kind to me.”

“Then why were you sobbing in a corner last night?” I asked, following her as she moved away from the island. She wasn’t about to get away from this conversation that easily.

Jolie stopped and opened and closed her mouth a few times, her blue eyes darting all over the place. “Haven’t you ever been homesick or miss your family?”

“You really miss your father’s controlling rule?” I scoffed, trapping her in front of the refrigerator with my body. “And besides you and I both know that all you had to do was bat your eyes and ask Shads if you could see your sister. What do you miss, daddy?” I teased, putting my hand against the fridge to block her escape.

“I-I—” I pressed a finger to Jolie’s lips to silence her. “Don’t lie to me sweetheart. The night we met you were trying to escape your father. You don’t miss him. I can see that in your eyes…it was something else. What happened?” I asked sincerely and Jo sighed.

“I don’t want to talk about it, alright? Its done and over and hopefully it wont ever happen again,” she sighed and I smirked.

“Yeah, because I’ll tell Shads you want to move into my room. It will fix all of your problems,” I said and Jo’s face fell. Well that’s interesting… Seems like Matt isn’t the only one concerned here. “Besides you know we have chemistry,” I breathed in her ear. “Don’t you remember the night we met…how good I was making you feel in that corner booth? Don’t you want to experience that again?” I let my hand slowly run down her side.

“No I-I—”

“No what?” I smirked, leaning into her a little bit more. “Don’t deny what’s between us Jo. You and I both know what we want here…”

“I-I cant Zack, please…” She said, gently trying to push me away.

“You can’t what? Be happy? Don’t be silly, I will make everything okay…” I purred in her ear after pushing her dark locks out of the way. “Besides I’m single…your single…and no one will have to know if you don’t want them too…”

“I’m not single!” Jolie suddenly burst and I pulled away, looking down at her with a raised brow.

“You were single the night we met and there were only three days in between when we kidnapped you. There is no way you are seeing anyone unless…” I said, looking at her with wide eyes as she chewed her bottom lip. “Did you fall for the boss man?” I asked, feeling both pissed and amused with the situation at the same time.

“I-I—”

“You did, didn’t you? You’re fucking Shadows!” I said, my temper rising over. What the fuck did she see in him? Oh, I called first dibs and it was bullshit that she wasn’t allowed to stay with me. This was all fucking Matt’s fault because it should have been my dick she was waxing, not his!

“Shh…please Zack…” Jolie said, looking both scared and upset. “Yes but please don’t tell anyone. I-I know what you’re thinking and it’s-it’s not like that! I swear…it just kind of happened—”

“Just kind of happened?!” I hissed at her, taking a step away and running my hands through my hair. “Do you know how much fucking danger you could be in?!”

“Vengeance!” Matt’s voice suddenly called from down the hall and my blood instantly began to boil. “Vengeance?!”

“What?” I snapped, turning around to see him standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living. I was so beyond pissed that it wasn’t even funny. Why the hell was everyone hiding secrets from me?! These women were making everyone fucking crazy, including me!

“I want you to go get vehicle and district area reports,” Matt said, looking over at Jolie before closing the distance between us. “Why? What area?”

“I need a secure area around district four that boarders Pagano territory,” Matt explained only loud enough for me to hear. “I need to take the girls to show me a location for a potential lead,” he explained as I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t know if I could be a word that came out of his damned mouth anymore.

“Ask fucking Christ or Rev… Its not my job,” I snapped, pulling away and walking toward the door.

“It is now! Get it done by noon,” Shadows said before moving over to a very nervous looking Jolie. Oh, that was the fucking last straw!

“The hell it is! Do it your fucking self!” I snapped before storming down the hall past Gates. “These women are making everyone fucking crazy,” I hissed as I passed.

I needed to get out of here and wrap my head around everything. This wasn’t fucking right! Best friends didn’t lie to each others face or put each other in danger! Maybe the Pagano’s would win this battle after all.

Emery’s POV

I quickly slammed the bathroom door shut behind me and slowly slide down the cold metal door, pulling my knees to my chest. My heat was beating a mile a minute as I willed myself not to vomit from the anxiety and pain that was coursing through my body. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything but gasp for air. It felt like someone had taken a hammer and hit me as hard as they could in the chest. I had never felt like this before but I knew that I never wanted to feel this way again.

I pinched my eyes shut and willed the painful sensation in my chest to go away. Unfortunately all I could see behind my dark lids was that dark red lipstick stain on Brain’s collar and sickly sweet floral perfume that accompanied it. God why was that bothering me so much? There was nothing between us beside physical attraction! If that were true then why did the thought of him with another woman make me sick? Or rather why did my heart feel like hit had been broke into a million pieces?

Brian couldn’t have been so desperate for someone that he hooked up with the first girl he could find at the bar. What about our time on the beach? Was that just a fluke? I couldn’t be…not with the way he made me feel. Hell no one had ever made me feel so alive and free in my entire life. Did that mean that I was falling for the guy? No, I didn’t want to believe it— I couldn’t. But if that wasn’t the case, then why did my heart beat faster every time I thought about him? Or why did it feel like every nerve ending exploded inside me when he kissed me? No it was all in my head! It had to be…it just had to be. But no matter how many times I told myself I wasn’t falling for the guy, the more real the truth became.

With a sigh, I leaned back against the bathroom door, the cold metal door feeling good against my back. I slowly let my fingers brush my tingling lips as I took in a shaky breath. Brian’s kiss was like a drug that stopped the world around us, making me melt into him and crave the shock it always produced. I felt a shiver go down my back as I recalled the feeling, which made everything worse because it made me realize how much I actually liked and cared about the guy.

I shook my head and thought back to the lipstick and the perfume, my heart constricting painfully in my chest with my new realization. How could I be so disposable, especially if Brian felt the same thing? Was I really that worthless to him? Did our time on the beach mean nothing to him? How stupid was I to think that there could be something between us. It was the last time I let my guard down.

I swallowed thickly as the tears started to pool in my eyes as the realization started to wash over me. Okay, so I did like but Brian threw it all away, just like that. And for what, good time? My heart again squeezed painfully at the thought of being so disposable to him. And as much as I tried to tell myself I was overreacting and that he did care about me, the more I realized I was wrong. The proof was right there on his collar! If he really did care, he wouldn’t have gone out trying to prove that I was just a fling. But what about last night when he came into the prison room? Or was it just a dream?

“Em…Em…thank god I found you…” Brian slurred in my ear, waking me up from a dead sleep. I was so tired I could barely open my eyes, but that didn’t stop him from pulling me into his side and placing a trail of kisses down my neck.

“Mmm…” I moaned lightly, curling into his warmth.

“So beautiful….so lovely,” he continued to mutter as consciousness started to drift away from me again. “I couldn’t get you out of my head…I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Em. I had to get back to you…had to see you,” his deep voice purred, though through my drowsiness and his drunkenness it was hard to understand anything he was saying. “You’re the only one I’ve wanted all night and now I finally have you…”

“Mmmhmmm…” I muttered in my sleep, cuddling even closer to him. Brian was just so warm and comfortable and I was so tired that nothing else mattered. I wanted to stay like this forever.

“I missed you, Em…” Brian said, his voice even harder to understand and sounding farther and farther away. “I never wanted to go out tonight…I wanted to stay with you…my beautiful girl…all I could think about…always…” was the last thing I heard before I slipped into unconsciousness.

I angrily wiped away tears, feeling both used and dirty. How could he say those things to me after sleeping with another woman? And I let him kiss me after that?! My skin felt like it was crawling and couldn’t sit still. Even if it was only a dream, he still kissed me and wanted to fuck me this morning, which made me feel sick to my stomach. Why did he come coming back and say those things to me if I was so disposable?

Well one thing was certain; I was no man’s play toy. Brian wasn’t going to come anywhere close to me because I refused to play this game anymore. We were done. It hurt too much to let him in or even think about him touching me. Though I wasn’t sure what hurt more, the thought of losing him or the thought of him moving on with someone else.

God why did that though hurt so much? And why did I feel so dirty, like a second hand piece of clothing? I felt used and crushed and I just wanted to wash everything away – to start over new and forget about Brian and how he made me feel.

The next thing I knew, I was standing naked as I pushed open the shower door, the warm water running down my back, slightly calming me in my panicked state. I couldn’t get the though of Brian with another woman out of my head and my confused feelings were just spinning around and around. Feeling my frustration peak, I collapsed to the floor of the shower in a fetal position and put my head in my hands as I cried.

“What I would give to live in your paradise…” I said in awe, totally mesmerized by everything around me. In front of me was the most beautiful view of the ocean and sunset that I had ever seen. Just the way the purples, pinks, yellows, and reds seemed to coalesce with the teal colored water was enough to take your breath away. I could feel the breeze blowing through my hair and warmth of Brian behind me as he hugged me into his body.

“No, ” he said, his warm breath clouding my thoughts as he span me around to face him. The intensity was back in those deep browns as our eyes met, only this time I didn’t feel uneasy. “Now it’s our paradise…”

Brian’s lips pressed against mine in a sensual kiss that was different from any other kiss we had experienced. This wasn’t a rushed and lust filled one like all the other times, this one felt different, like we were now bonded. The kiss was slow and yet everything inside me felt like the Forth of July, fireworks exploding with our ever motion as the warm breeze circled us.

When the kiss finally ended, I looked up at Brian with hooded eyes, getting lost in his glowing brown eyes. Something was definitely different between us and just looking at him was making my heart race. Brain slowly trailed his fingers across my face and I shivered and melted into his touch. Everything felt so right, like we belonged together. I knew from that moment on that there was no turning back…

My emotions and thoughts were literally strangling me as I crumbled inside, tears pouring down my face as I relived that moment that changed everything. I just wanted to shut it all off, go home, and forget any of this ever happened. I didn’t want to feel the full force of a broken heart raked through my body and feeling of worthlessness that followed. Never in my life had I felt so helpless and crushed at the same time. I was an idiot for letting any of this get this far! I had to be done, had to turn it all off and keep my distance. The only problem was, I couldn’t…

“Em?” the voice that haunted my thoughts said as the glass shower door opened. “Emery? What happened? What’s wrong?” His tone sounded genuinely concerned as wrapped his strong arms wrapped around my wet and naked body.

My breath hitched in my chest at the sound and I suddenly felt like was drowning. It was weird how he could make me feel all warm and fuzzy and completely crushed at the same time. The sensation was one of the most painful things I had ever experience in my life.

“Em what’s wrong?” he asked again but all I could do was cry into his warm chest as the water cascaded down on both of us.

Notes

Finally slow-mo has another chapter for you guys! Thank you for sicking with us and for all your comments! Please let us know what you think!

~KWally2