Avery’s POV

The whole cab ride over to James’ house, I nervously chewed on my bottom lip. The truth was that I still felt extremely guilty about how I left things with him but at least he knew the truth. Well, most of it at least. But what was I supposed to say to him now? Sorry for being the worst friend on the face of the earth and leading you on when I knew I was still in love with my ex? Sorry for leaving to go after my ex and not telling you? I knew that I owed him a million apologies but where to start and what to say without making things worse? I had no idea what to say to him but I still wanted his friendship.

“You okay, Little Gnome?” Matt’s voice cut through my thoughts. He looked down at me with a small frown, placing his hand on my twisting fingers in my lap.

I could tell just by the look on his face that he was struggling with the idea of Maya being around Ben, and honestly I didn’t blame him. I knew how manipulative Ben could be, having seen it multiple times, but then again I also knew Maya. I knew that she would never do anything to jeopardize her relationship with Matt.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked back out the window, hoping Matt would drop it. I really didn’t want to talk about everything I was feeling right now. “Come on, Ave you know you can talk to me.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. “I just feel like the worlds biggest ass…” I admitted softly and Matt chuckled.

“I find it hard to believe that you could be an ass to anyone, Ave,” Matt chuckled, patting my knee. “Gates yes, but you? Not in a million years.”

“Well, then you haven’t talked to James…” I muttered, looking away from Matt.

“What does Cassells have to do with this?” By his tone, I could tell his brow was pulled together in confusion. “From what Gates said the guy is pretty smitten with you.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “That’s problem…When I thought things with Brian and I were-were really over I tried to move on, even though deep down I knew I never could…” I said softly, not believing I was having this conversation with Matt of all people. But then again, we were fairly similar so maybe he would understand.

“So you feel like you lead him on?” Matt finished for me and I looked up at him with a sad nod.

“Yeah… and even though I told him I could only give him friendship he kept hoping for more…something I couldn’t give him. And then I disappeared with Maya to find you guys and I didn’t tell him I was leaving…” I finished and Matt nodded.

“Ave, it’s not your fault that Cassells fell for you,” Matt said with a small smile. “Sometimes it just happens and you can’t help it…hell look at you and Gates or even Maya and I? We were all so adamant that we weren’t going to be together in the beginning, but look at us now,” he chuckled and I knew he was right. “And as long as you were clear about only wanting friendship, then you shouldn’t have any guilt, Little Gnome.”

“But I’ve been a crappy friend,” I sighed.

“We all have at one point or another but you cant hold onto that. You just have to try better the next time,” he assured me and I nodded. I guess I had never thought about it like that.

“Thanks, Matt.” I placed my head on his forearm and looked up at him with a small smile. He was a great friend.

A few minutes later the cab pulled up in front of James’ house and I let out a sigh. Here we were and there was no turning back now. It was time to face the music and make everything final and finally start working toward our futures. “Ready?” Matt asked with an unreadable expression. He almost looked like he was putting his game face on.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with and get back to Maya and Brian,” I said as I got out of the car, Matt giving me a curt nod. “And you know Brian and Maya will be fine. She loves you and Brian wont let anything happen,” I assured him. “She never looked at Ben the way she looks at you anyway.”

Matt smiled lightly as he lead me up the path to the door. With a deep breath I stepped forward and rang the doorbell, the door opening a few seconds later. James’ eyes instantly snapped over to me with a smile on his face and I couldn’t help but smile in return. He looked good and just as handsome as I remembered. Had he done something different with his hair?

“Ave, hey,” James said breathlessly, taking a step forward to hug me, only to be stopped by Matt. “What the—“

“We came here to get Ave’s stuff,” Matt said firmly as I turned around to look at him. What was he doing?

“Matt… don’t!” I said with a frown. Was this part of the rules that Brian was talking about? Honestly it was a little ridiculous. I wasn’t going to do anything with James and I was pretty sure we both knew we were only friends now, especially after their unexpected visit to Huntington Beach.

“What?” Matt asked with a shrug and I narrowed my eyes at him. He knew exactly what he was doing and how was I supposed to apologize to James if I couldn’t talk to him alone? “I’m just doing what I promised. Now, hurry we don’t have much time.”
And with that I felt Matt’s hand on my back, guiding me into the house.

As soon as Matt turned his back, James pulled me in for a quick hug. “Hey,” he said, pulling away and looking me up and down. I was wear a pair of dark wash jeans and a VU tank top that I had designed. “You look beautiful,” he breathed, smiling down at me before Matt stepped in between us.

“Alright, that’s enough. You tell us where her stuff is and then we are out of here” Matt said and narrowed his eyes on James. I let out a sigh and started to move around the living room and dinning room area to pick up my stuff. I just wished Matt would back off a little bit, but by the whispered conversation the guys were having in the corridor, I didn’t think that was going to happen.

As I made my way into the dinning room, I found my sketchbook right on the dinning room table where I had left it. He really hadn’t touched it in the month that I had been gone? What had he been doing? Oh, I hoped he was taking care of himself, but by mess in the kitchen, I didn’t know about that either. There on the counter was the worlds largest stack of pizza boxes and pile of empty beer and liquor bottles.

“Oh James…”I sighed, running my hand over my face before I opened the closet to get my jacket and a box of fabric swatches. I felt guilty leaving him in this mess but what other choice did I have?

“James? Do you still have some of my stuff upstairs?” I called from the kitchen, still trying to find out where my work laptop was. It was the one item I needed the most because it had all of my pattern blueprints on it.

“Yeah, in my bedroom,” James called back and I felt a flush fall over my face, remembering waking up next to him morning after morning. I was glad Brian wasn’t here right now.

“Oh… okay,” I blushed, making my way from the kitchen up the stairs and avoiding eye contact.

“Let me help you,” James called behind me only to be cut off by Matt. I guess me was still playing the guard dog roll, though I he didn’t need to. James was a good guy and would never do anything to make me uncomfortable. He was always more concerned about my happiness then his own.

I quickly made my way into the bedroom, and listened down the stairs. Apparently the two of them were arguing about boundaries again since I didn’t hear any footsteps behind me. I guess it was just going to be me packing up some clothes, sketchpads, and my work laptop.

My laptop was right were I left it at the desk in the corner of the room, along with my pile of sketchpads. There on top of the stack was the last drawing I sketched out before my pregnancy scare. It was a short, form fitting dress, with black and gold pinstripes that I now released must have been inspired by Brian’s guitar. I guess he always was in my thoughts, even when I didn’t want him to be.

With a small smile, I placed my things in a pile on the corner of the desk and moved towards the walk-in closet. To my surprise, the door was shut. In all the time that I had spent with James, I had never seen the closet door closed, so I was caught off guard now. And what was even more shocking was that the door was locked. Now what was that about?

“James?” I called down the stairs after jiggling the handle a few times.

“What’s up, babe?” James asked, appearing in the door a few seconds later with a smirk on his face. I wished he would stop calling me ‘babe’. It just didn’t feel right when I was with Brian.

As he approached, I watched his eyes travel up and down before landing on my face with a smile. He looked genuinely happy to have me alone for a few moments and I felt the same way. Maybe now I could officially apologize and get a restart on our friendship.

“Why is the closet door locked?” I asked with a raised brow. James chuckled lightly and pulled his ring of keys out of his pocket. I watched as he shook his head and unlocked the door, as if trying to figure out how to respond to my question.

“Well,” he said, looking down at me with one of his charming smiles. “To be honest, seeing all your clothes in there and knowing you weren’t here was driving me insane,” James admitted and my face fell a little bit.

“James…look I’m sorry,” I started, twisting my hands in front of me as I moved into the closet. “I-I didn’t mean for any of this to happen…and I certainly didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re a great guy but my heart was always with Brian…” I trailed off, seeing James nod slowly. “I told you when we first started spending time together that I could only offer you my friendship…and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best friend lately…” I continued, my voice shaking lightly as I looked up to meet his eyes light brown eyes for the first time. “I-I…just didn’t know how to tell you the truth after all that you’d done for me…I didn’t want to hurt you…I-I’m so sorry, James…”

James took a step towards me, closing the distance between us. “I know,” he sighed softly, pulling me into his arms and kissing the top of my head. “It sucks, I’m not going to lie, but seeing you happy is all that matters to me, Ave,” James said, holding me at arms length and looking down at me. “Are you happy, Ave?”

I smiled and looked up at James, the thought of Brian alone making my heart race. “Yes, I’m very happy. Why?” I titled my head to the side with a small frown, not really understanding where he was going with this.

“But are you sure you want to be with Gates, Ave? What if he starts screwing around on you again? I swear I will beat the living hell out of him if he hurts you again, Ave,” James said, his eyes totally serious.

I slowly shook my head. “Yes, I want to be with Brian, James,” I sighed, hoping that he wasn’t going to make this any harder. “And all that was a really bad misunderstanding…and it wont happen again,” I assured him, but he stepped forward and put his hand on my cheek. I was now practically trapped in the corner of the closet.

“Ave…you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?” James’ eyes were pleading with me. It was like he thought I was hiding some big secret, like Brian was holding me hostage against my will.

“Nothing is wrong, James,” I almost laughed. “Brian has been great and I promise if he stepped out of line, you and all the Avenged guys would be ready to kick his ass,” I said, getting a partial smile out of him.

“Just promise me that if something happens that you’ll call me,” James said taking a step towards me. “I can’t stand to see him hurt you again.”

“James,” I sighed, giving him a pointed look.

“Just promise me, Ave. Please, that’s all I’m asking,” James took another step towards me and put his hand on my shoulder.

Suddenly I felt a large mass move me backwards, completely blocking James from my view. “Okay, this little reunion is over,” I heard Matt growl as I tired to move around him. “I warned you to keep your distance, Cassells! Now get your ass out of this closet before I physically escort you.”

“Hey now this is my closet and I told you my bedroom was private,” James shot back as I finally managed to peek around Matt’s side. The two were staring daggers at each other and I was afraid they would start fighting. “You’re the one that needs to get out. I’ll help Ave get her stuff and then we’ll be out.”

“The hell you will!” Matt roared and I was frantically shaking my head as they stepped toward each other. “ I gave you one chance to be a gentleman and I come up her and you’ve got Ave backed into the fucking corner. Fucking hell! When I said back the fuck off, Cassells I meant it! You don’t want to get on my bad side.”

“Matt relax, it’s okay nothing was going on. We were just talking,” I assured him but Matt just shook his head.

“I didn’t fucking look like nothing from his end. Come on, Ave let’s get the rest of your stuff and get out of here,” Matt grumbled, grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the closet and out the bedroom. He had my sketchbooks and laptop in one hand.

“But my clothes!” I said, shooting James and apologetic look as he gapped at me. Matt was taking this whole guard dog things way too seriously. Hell, I didn’t think Brian would even be this strict. James and I were just friends and nothing more. “My favorite dress is here!”

“Get it quickly, we’ve got to get back to the airport in twenty minutes.”

“But Matt—“

“No buts, just get your stuff and lets go,” Matt said, not budging on the issue. “We’re done here.”

I bit down on my bottom lip and carefully moved past James into the closet. I could feel his eyes watching me as I moved around in closet, putting my clothing in the rolling suitcase I had brought along. There must have been more he wanted to say to me but we both didn’t dare speak with Matt standing over my shoulder. The last thing I wanted was for the two of them to get into a fight.

“Do you have everything now?” Matt asked, his tone still sounding pissed off. “We’ve really got to go. Gates and Maya are already waiting for us.” Though I didn’t think that was true. I hadn’t gotten a text from Brian yet and I really hoped that he and Ben hadn’t gotten into a fistfight.

“She’s got a few more things in my study,” James answered for me, meeting my eyes. They were almost pleading with me to follow him, but I knew Matt wouldn’t leave us alone again.

“Why don’t you be the good friend that you claim to be and go get them for her. We can’t miss our flight back to California,” Matt practically hissed at James and I rolled my eyes. To my surprise James nodded and left the room, leaving Matt and I to finish packing my clothes.

We worked in silence for a few minutes before I decided to speak up. “You know, you don’t have to be so strict. I promise that nothing is going on between James and I. He is just looking out for me, that’s all,” I said softly, folding up a dress.

“I’m just doing what Brian asked me to, Ave and he is doing the same thing with Maya right now,” Matt sighed and I nodded. Of course he would say that, they were working the bro-code right now.

“And they are fine too, Matt.” I reached up and put a hand on his arm, getting him to look at me. Was that what all this was about? Was he afraid that Ben was making moves on Maya? “I promise that Maya wont let anything happen between her and Ben. I can guarantee it. You are her one and only, Sanders and you have to know that.” Matt smiled and slowly nodded his head, obviously thinking about her in some way.

“All right, I’ve got all of your stuff in the suitcase downstairs,” James said sadly as he appeared in the doorframe. His eyes were burning into mine and I gave him a nod.

“Good, let’s get out of here,” Matt pulled me to my feet and grabbed the suitcase. “We’ve got a flight to catch.”

We all silently followed Matt down the stairs and when he went to grab the other suitcase from the living room, James pulled me into a quick hug. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? Call me or text me whenever you like. I’ve always got time for you, beautiful,” he said and I gave him a small smile as I pulled away.

“I will and don’t worry so much about me, okay?” I gave him a playful punch in the shoulder. “I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.” James gave me and amused pointed look. “Okay so maybe I’m not big but I can take care of myself.”

“Cabs here, let’s go!” Matt announced after hearing the honk outside. I gave James a small smile and a wave before I followed Matt out the door.

“Goodbye, James,” I said over my shoulder.

The last thing I saw before the cab pulled away to take Matt and I back to the airport was James standing on the porch with a cigarette in his mouth watching us go. Would we ever see him again?

Ben’s POV

“Seriously, you assholes need to go,” Sam said, trying to push Cam and I out the door. “Ashley is going to be here any minute and I’ve still got to pick up after you blokes!”

“Ash loves us, I don’t see what the big deal is,” I teased, packing up my guitar. The truth was that ever since I got back from California I had been avoiding my house. Everything in there reminded me of Maya, not to mention her collection of things that were still lying about. I just didn’t want to think about her, not yet. It was too painful after she ripped my heart out of my chest.

“Fuck you, Bruce,” Sam said and I chuckled lightly. “Get the hell out!”

I was pretending that things were back to normal for my friends sake, but that was only because I had buried myself in my work. It was the only thing that kept me from thinking about her and sleeping. Those were the two things that I couldn’t handle doing right now because they always seemed to coincide. I couldn’t sleep without thinking of Maya and when I did, she was always in my dreams. It was like cruel and unusual punishment for falling in love.

“Oy, fuck you too, mate!” I said, picking up my things. “We’ll just go back to Cam’s place and write the best fucking song without a Bass part. You can fucking sit out for this one.”

“Whatever makes you feel better, Bruce,” oh that cocky son of a bitch. “I’m getting laid.”

I rolled my eyes and headed out the door behind Cam. It figures that they all would bail to chase some tail, but that didn’t explain where Cassells went in such a hurry. Was he starting to see someone new?

“All right, Cam looks like it’s just you and me tonight. Let’s get this show on the road,” I said but Cam frowned. Oh great what was his excuse now? “Actually…I’ve got some other plans tonight too,” he said sheepishly and I rolled my eyes. Fuck! The last place I wanted to end up was back at my fucking house. Didn’t they know that I was trying to avoid it.

“Oh, come on, Cam don’t be like that! You just said that we could go write at your place!” I put my stuff in my trunk looking at him, getting pissed off.

“Sorry man, the girl called me and since everyone else is going out, so am I,” Cam said but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something. “Besides, it would do you some good to get some sleep. You look like hell.” I flipped him off and got in my car. I didn’t need to hear his shit when I was already well aware.

I flew out of Sam’s driveway and cranked up the radio. I didn’t want to think about anything but my music but I was failing miserably. All I could think about was the hope that one day that I would come home and Maya would be there, waiting for me to take her back and saying the whole thing with Shadows was a mistake. I knew it was and all I had to do was wait for her to come around to. But just at that moment Avenged Sevenfold’s Bat Country came on the radio and I cursed, changing the station. Those bastards were fucking everywhere.

A few minutes later I pulled into my driveway and my eyes instantly went to the porch. No, it couldn’t be. I shook my head and looked again, seeing the long dark hair blowing in the breeze. I wasn’t seeing things, that really was her…

I quickly got out of the car and headed to the porch, my heart racing in my chest. I couldn’t believe that after all my hoping that she was finally here. “M? Hey…what are you—“ only my words were cut off by an obnoxious cough. Gates? What the fuck was he doing here?

“What is this? A watch dog or something?” I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Hey Ben,” Maya said with a smile and my eyes instantly snapped back over to her. God she looked amazing in those short shorts and the sweater that hung off her left shoulder. Damn, I missed her and just having her standing in front of me was painful.

“You want your stuff, love?” I asked, figuring that’s why she was here if she had Gates with her. Which was probably a wise choice, considering that I still fucking wanted to kill Shadows.

And then there was that annoying fucking cough again. “How about you call her by her name, Bruce,” Gates said and I rolled my eyes. You had to be fucking kidding me. If he didn’t shut the hell up, I was going to knock him out too. “You are right, we need her stuff and then we are gone, as fast as possible.”

My fists balled and took in a deep breath. I didn’t want her to be gone but I knew that I didn’t really have much of a choice. She had made her decision and maybe if I let her go with it she would come back to me. “Fine, come on, lov…M. We’ll get your stuff,” I said before turning to Gates. “And you can wait outside.”

“Hell no, Maya and I are both going in or even better you but her stuff together and hand it over at the door. That would work too,” Gates sneered and I flipped him off. That bastard was really getting on my nerves.

And I didn’t know what was worse, the fact that Gates was following Maya and I around the house, watching our ever move or the fact that she kept trying to make small talk like we were still best friends. Fucking hell, I didn’t want to be friends with her. I want to love her and make her love me, but I guess that wasn’t going to happen with Shadows in the picture. Though I had to admit that it was really nice to see her—I missed her more than I was willing to admit right now.

“Can I get you something to drink, love?” I asked, hoping to get her to stay a little longer. This was all going to fast and I didn’t want her to leave. Gates could, but I wanted Maya to stay.

“Bruce,” Gates warned and I rolled my eyes. “And no we don’t need anything to drink. We just want to get this over with.”

To my surprise Maya gave him a warning glare. “Brian.”

“What? Matt and Ave are already waiting for us,” he said, looking directly at me with a cocky smirk. Just the mention of Matt’s name was setting me over the edge and I was inches from losing control. Come on, Bruce get yourself together. You’ll never see Maya again if you hit Gates, even though it would feel really good.

“Fine, why don’t you get your ass back into the cab and let Maya and me do this alone, that would get faster anyway, Gates,” I hissed and that asshole had the nerve to laugh at me.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I quickly turned around and grabbed a box and pushed it into Maya’s hands. “Some of your other stuff is upstairs,” I said quietly.

Thank fucking god when we got upstairs Gates asked to use the restroom. My patience was running thin with him and now maybe I could finally talk to Maya. But what was I going to say that I already hadn’t? I mean, I laid my heart out on the line in California and she just stomped on it. Any normal person would hate her, but I couldn’t. I still loved her.

“You’ve got some clothes and another sketchpad in here,” I said, opening the door to my bedroom and letting her go in first. I smirked to myself as I watched her ass sway back and forth in those short, though I knew I couldn’t make a move. She had made her choice very clear. “So how’s the shop coming,” I asked, leaning against the door as she started to collect her things.

“Good…we just needed the rest of our stuff to get started. We’ve got a location and everything,” Maya gushed, her eyes lighting up. “You and the guys will have to come check it out and no for the hundredth time, it’s not just chick clothes,” she teased.

“Well it seems like you’re getting everything you always wanted,” I said bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest. Was I a little bitter that she was doing it without me? Hell yeah. We were meant to be together and she was just throwing it all away for some asshole.

Maya stood up from the floor with a sigh. “Ben…please…” she said, her eyes pleading with me. “I’m sorry how things ended between us…I really am. I never meant to hurt you. I just had to go with what my heart was tell me.”

“Well that’s funny because you’re heart was telling you something completely different when you were here with me,” I scoffed, mentally kicking myself. I didn’t want to go down this path, but here we were.

Maya sighed again, hanging her head. “No Ben…it wasn’t. I was just trying to suppress the feelings I had for Matt.” I saw fire when she mentioned his name and my jaw locked in place. It was his fault—all of this! I could kill that bastard. “And I’m sorry for not being honest with your or myself about that…I did care for you. I really did and I still do…just as a friend.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed away from the doorframe. Here we go with the fucking friends card again. I didn’t want that—I wanted all of her and she had to know that. “I know that you might not be able to do that right now…but I hope one day that we can be friends again Ben.” Maya said before she turned and walked into the closet with a small frown on her face.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. Would I lose her completely if I couldn’t be her friend? Did I still want to hang onto something I knew that I could never have? That was something I needed to sort out with myself. I mean, Maya was the first woman that I had ever admitted that I loved and that was no small feat.

“Ben?” Maya’s voice suddenly called from the closet. “Can you help me reach this?” Maya asked but as soon as I took a step forward, I was pushed back. “I’ve got this,” Gates said. Fuck he was back so soon? Damn it.

I watched threw narrowed eyes as Gates pulled down the suitcase and started to help her pack. Why was he here anyway? If they were so concerned, Shadows should have come himself and we could have finally finished our disagreement man to man. Fuck I hated that guy.

That’s it, I needed a smoke. I quickly pulled my pack out of my pocket, stepped out on to the balcony, and lit up. Only the nicotine did nothing to help me relax or easy the pain of the broken heart throbbing in my chest. Damn, why did she have to come back and say all that shit? I was finally started to push her out of my mind and now she was back and it hurt even more.

“Ben?” Maya’s voice sounded again a few minutes later.

“Yeah?” I sighed, stepping around the corner and poking my head into the room.

“We’re all done in here…We’ve got to get going,” she said, moving over to the balcony door with a small frown.

“Oh,” was all I said, not realizing that they really were on a time schedule.

“Yeah, and the cab is waiting. I just got a text from Ave and they are at the gate waiting. We’ve got to hurry, M.” Gates said and I had to fight not to groan.

“Well, I hope the rest of your album writing goes well,” Maya said, giving me a small smile. “Let me know when the release party is and Ave and I will come up…if you want us too…”

“I don’t know about that,” Gates said and Maya just held a hand up to him.

“And don’t be a stranger. Text me every once and while to let me know that you’re okay,” she continued and I felt like that would only make things worse.

“Sure,” I said, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “And good luck with your store.” God when was it awkward and hard to talk to her? This was almost painful.

“Thanks…and take care, Ben,” Maya said, stepping forward and hugging me while Gates glared at me.

“We’ve got to go, M.” he urged, taking her suitcase and her arm and leading her out the door before I could say another word.

“Goodbye, Ben…” she said as the door closed, my heart constricting. So that was it…we were officially over.

Notes