Ben’s POV

“Another round of shots!” Cam called as I lazily strummed my guitar. My head was spinning from our ‘writing session’ as we called it but the truth was we hadn’t gotten to any work done. In fact the only thing that we started and finished today was a Mary Jane and a bottle of whiskey.

I leaned my head back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, playing the riff that had been stuck in my head since Maya left. It was the only productive thing we had but that didn’t seem to matter to any of the guys. “Come one cant we just try and focus for five minutes,” I groaned, playing a little louder. Unfortunately, it was only drowned out by Danny’s laughter.

“Stop being such a tosh pot,” he cried. “Live a little bit and just let that shit come naturally! That’s how all our best work is written.” Okay, so maybe he was right but there was something stopping me from completely letting go. Someone who was thousands of miles away doing god knows what with those Avenged assholes. And the worst part was that we kept playing fucking phone tag. I mean, we just kept missing each other and I was really starting to get pissed. Not to mention how long was a fucking meeting with Vengeance going to take? I was starting to think that this was more than a business trip.

“To the new album!” Sam cried as a shot was pushed into my hands. I quickly downed it, the burn of the alcohol helping to relieve some of my frustration. Maybe that’s just what I needed, more alcohol!

“And to good fortune,” I added, setting my guitar aside and pouring everyone another shot. We quickly took those and leaned back, enjoying the affects of the magical liquid.

About an hour later, I looked down at my phone to see a missed call from Maya. Damn it! I had missed her again and why was she calling so late? It was like two in the morning now. Don’t fucking tell me she’s been up parting with those guys all this time…or worse was drunk and—I couldn’t even think about it.

“Why the long face, Bruce?” James asked, flopping down next to me on the sofa. His eyes were both bloodshot and glazed over, but I didn’t notice too much.

I sighed and ran my hands over my face. “I fucking missed Maya’s call again…” I grumbled only for James to laugh humorously. Was it too late to call her back? She only called me a half an hour ago. I can’t believe I fucking missed it and I wasn’t even doing anything important—that was the worst part!

“Well be thankful your fucking girlfriend is at least calling you. All I get is vague messages,” and he looked like he was about to blow a gasket.

“What do they say?” I asked curiously, wondering if Ave gave him any more details than what Maya had given me. Okay, so he said vague but his vague information may help me fill in my blanks!

James groaned and picked up the bottle of Jack off the table and took a long swig before he answered. Were they that bad? I still didn’t know what was going on between him and Blondie but apparently he was still fighting for her. “Just that she’s there for business. She’s fine no need to worry. And when I ask her when she’ll be back she just says she doesn’t know, they are still working on details and that is all she’ll fucking tell me. She wont even tell me what the job is!”

I frowned and raised my brow at him. That as suspicious wasn’t it? Why wouldn’t she talk about the job if that’s why they were there…unless she was fucking Gates behind his back. So did that mean Maya was fucking around too? Was this whole thing a fucking façade just like I originally thought? There wasn’t any job and this was just an excuse to go meet up with their old flings!

“Where are you going?” James called as I got up from the couch, leaving him gapping after me.

“To fucking call her back and see what the hell is going on!” I yelled not caring if he actually heard me or not.

I quickly stormed out to the patio, kicking over the chairs in my path, the anger flooding my veins. I didn’t know if I was so pissed off because of the amount of alcohol I had consumed or if it was the thought of Shadows touching my girlfriend. Either way I was seeing red and this fucking sucked! I knew something like this was going to happen but what proof did I have?

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and my phone. As I lit up and took a long drag, I dialed Maya’s number. Come on Bruce, calm down. You cant start screaming at her over the phone again or she really wont come back. That thought my heart tighten in my chest an I didn’t want to think about really losing her. Damn it, I hated being away from her.

“Hey, this is Maya, I’m a little busy at the moment so please leave a message and I’ll get back to you,” the voice mail recording said and I rolled my eyes, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

“You better not be busy with Shadows or he’s going to be a dead man,” I muttered under my breath just as the phone beeped to record the message.

“Hey M,” I said, my voice slurring more than I thought. But surprisingly hearing her voice in the voicemail had calmed me down. “Sorry I missed your call…the guys and I were working,” I said and laughed slightly. “Anyway I hope you’re getting things straightened away so that you can come back home. We certainly miss you…and I definitely miss you. Waking up without you is getting more and more painful, not to mention the worst case of blue balls every time I think about you. Damn…give me a call back when you get this. I fucking miss you, love. Oh…and tell Blondie to stop stringing Cassells along he’s going fucking mad. Anyway, I’ll try calling again in the morning. I love you, M…”

I hung up the phone with a heavy heart that throbbed painfully in my chest. What the hell was this woman doing to me?

Matt’s POV

“Shit,” I sighed as I watched Gates and Maya chase after Avery. Just like Brian had said, she wasn’t taking this well a big public announcement was the last thing she needed. The poor thing looked like she was going to crumble at any minute and the rest of us just felt helpless, especially Jimmy.

“I-I didn’t mean to upset her,” he said quietly as he put his head on Johnny’s shoulder. “I was just so excited and I couldn’t control it…” he sighed.

“We know, Jimbo, it’s okay. She’s just scared,” Zack said and I nodded, knowing that she wasn’t the only one. Gates was barely holding on by a thread too. “But I think its better that’s its out in the open now.”

I nodded my head in agreement. “We are a family and they both need to know that we are there for them no matter what happens,” I said, watching as Maya grabbed Brian’s arm as he went to go up the stairs. She was shaking her head and gesturing with her hands and a moment later Gates dropped his head. He looked like had admitted defeat and I felt for the guy.

“I still can’t believe it,” Johnny said in awe as he shook his head. “Gates as a dad? Can you even imagine?”

“He’d be fine, just look at how protective he was over Ave last night,” Zack said and we all laughed. “Besides, a kid ensures that the girls will be with us,” he shrugged, looking directly at me.

A small smile came over my face as I watched Maya and Gates approach the table. I had even considered that possibility. If Ave really was pregnant then she would certainly be around, and wherever Avery was Maya was sure to follow. That’s just how their friendship was and we all knew it. And if Maya came back to HB with us, what would that mean for her and I? Would she finally end things with Bruce because of the distance? Would she finally give us another chance? Did she want that?

I shook my head and quickly pushed that thought away, knowing that I was still in the friend zone. Though after last night, it was getting harder and harder to stay there. I spent most of my night tossing and turning and thinking about all the ‘what ifs’. Would things have changed if I had kissed her? Would she have realized what we still had or would she have pushed me away? I just didn’t know if I had made the right decision. Maybe I needed to let her come to me and make the first move.

“Is she okay?” Zacky asked, standing up when Gates and Maya reached the table. They looked at each other and a deep frown came over Brian’s face.

“She just needs some time to come to terms with everything,” Maya replied softly, but I didn’t notice that Gates shook his head. Did he not agree with her? “And a little space,” she added, shooting him a pointed look.

“So what do we do in the meantime?” I voiced what the rest of the guys were thinking. My eyes traveled between Maya who was twisting her hands in front of her and Brian who was giving the chair the death squeeze. They looked like they both felt guilty about this and were doing everything they could to hold on. Hell, we all were right now—we were all in shock.

Maya took in a deep breath and looked around the table, her eyes lingering on me a little longer than the rest. “We give her space and we don’t bring it up unless she does. If there’s one thing I know about Ave, its if you push her too hard she will shut you out and that’s the last thing she needs right now. We just need to support her…and Gates to help them get through this,” Maya said, rubbing Gates’ back as he took in deep breaths with his eyes closed.

“And for the love of god don’t say anything stupid in front of Larry if he stops by,” Gates added and Maya’s face dropped. Her eyes met mine in a moment of panic and swallowed thickly.

Shit, I hadn’t even though about him. What was he going to do when he found out that Gates got his little girl pregnant? He would kill him and hell he didn’t even know that they were back together. Were they even back together? Gates didn’t seem to know but he’d better figure it out quick. We all knew that he and Ave belonged together and it would only be a matter of time before he did too. She was easily the girl for him and their time apart was an excellent indicator, just was it was for Maya and I. Now all I had to do was get her to see that too.

“Erm…guys sorry to break up your meeting but we need to leave for sound check,” Matt Berry said as he came up behind us. “You guys okay?” he asked looking around at our sullen faces. “Where’s Ave? She get sick?”

“We’re fine, just stop asking about it,” Gates snapped before he turned and headed toward the van waiting outside. The others quietly followed but before I could join then, Maya grabbed my arm.

The moment her hand touched me, I felt a spark move between us and I smiled. She had to have felt that and since she initiated it, I didn’t have to pull away. I was still within the friend code, even though it didn’t feel like it. Maya’s mouth opened and closed for a moment and her eyes met mine. “I-I…” she said before shaking her head and starting over. “Will you keep an eye on, Gates? He’s freaking out and I just don’t want him to do something stupid.”

“What makes you think that?” I asked, though we both knew it wasn’t the first time that he let his emotions get the better of him.

Maya sighed and took a step closer to me, looking around to make sure no one was listening. “He was going to rush after her and you and I both know that wouldn’t have ended well. Ave needs some space and he needs to relax a little bit before he goes back up to see her. So can you just distract him for a little while so he doesn’t freak her out anymore when you get back?”

“I’ll try my best, M but I cant promise anything,” I sighed, knowing that Haner was stubborn and only did what he wanted to when he wanted to.

“Thanks, Matt,” she said and quickly kissed my cheek before turning to head back to her room. I smiled and touch the electric spot as I watched her go. Okay, so now we were getting somewhere?

Over the next two hours, sound check moved smoothly. We all did the best we could trying to get Gates to laugh and distract him, but you couldn’t miss everyone whispering and looking in our direction. Everyone had questions but they knew better than to ask, so they just talked amongst themselves instead of asking Brian, which we were all thankful for.

By the time sound check was over, Gates was sitting on the riser with his head in his hands looking down at his phone. “How are you holding up, man?” I asked, taking a seat next to him. He just let out a long sigh and ran his hands over his face.

“I should have went after her…” he sighed again. “She’s pulling away from me and I can’t let her, not with all this shit going on. She needs me, hell she needs all of us…”

“And we’re here for you guys but maybe she just needed some time for her self to work through it. From what Maya said she hasn’t really had a moment alone since she found out,” I shrugged and Brian groaned.

“But the last time I let someone tell me to give her time she fucking left me,” Brian said picking his head up out of hands and looking at me for the first time. “I can’t let her leave, not without knowing…”

“But if she wasn’t pregnant you’d let her leave?” I asked, a little confused as to where he was going with this. Did he still not want to get back together with Ave?

“No—I don’t know…” He sighed again. “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if she’s here just because of the kid or if she actually wants to get back together.”

“Do you love her?” I asked, his head snapping up at me. He looked at me like I was stupid.

“What kind of question is that, Shads? Of course I love her! Everyone fucking knows that. Why do you think I haven’t been able to move on, even when I thought we were actually done?” Brian scoffed. “The question is does she love me and want to be with me.”

“She wouldn’t have come all this way to tell you she was pregnant before she knew for sure if she didn’t, Gates,” I said softly giving him a pat on the back. “So you better decide what it is you want and make your move before it’s too late. Do you want to be with Avery or not?” and with that I left him sitting on the stage rise.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, I had found my way to the hotel’s gym for my daily work out. Gates decided not to join me today because he needed to go check on Ave, and I didn’t blame him. I would have done the same thing if I was in his shoes, though part of me wished I was. I always wanted a family and I was a little jealous that Gates was getting everything I wanted so quickly.

What I would give for an opportunity to have Maya waiting for me by the side of the stage, with or without a little Sanders in her arms. Hell, I would give anything just to be able to call her mine. But no, she was still with that jackass Bruce and that pissed me off to no end. Without even thinking, I started to lift a little faster, the burn of my muscles feeling better than not having Maya.

“Easy, Shads you don’t want to overdo it,” Dan said, raising a brow at me. “You’ve got a show tonight.”

“I’m fine,” I said as I breathed out, doing another rep at a high weight. And how long were we going to keep up this friend charade? I didn’t know how much longer I could stand it having to follow my stupid rules. I wanted her back with me so badly but I knew I couldn’t push too hard or I’d lose her forever. I couldn’t let that happen.

When I finished with my arms, I took of my shirt wiped my sweaty face with it. At least my frustration was helping to fuel my workout. I moved over to the standing press machine to work my back, dipping low and slowly pushing the weight back up. Damn that burn felt good. As I slowly stood back up to my full height, I could see a familiar set of brown eyes watching me from the door. I quickly looked away with a smile on my face. What was Maya doing here?

I dipped down again and slowly pressed up, watching her chew her bottom lip out of the corner of my eye. Maya slowly licked her lips and swallowed thickly and I instantly knew that look on her face. I had seen it hundreds of times and I knew that seeing me like this was turning her on. God it had been so long since I had seen that face and it took everything in my power not to turn and fully look at her. I didn’t want to ruin the moment because I knew she would look away if she saw me looking at her.

As I did a few more repetitions I could hear some of the guys talking about a hot chick in the gym and I just smiled to myself. She was here for me but I would give her a little bit more show. I chanced a glance at her out of the corner of my eye and she was twisting the ends of her hair between her fingers as she talked to Dan, her eyes locked on me. When she finally noticed me looking at her, she chewed on her bottom lip with that oh-so familiar look in her eyes that said ‘I want you’. Now that wasn’t friendship behavior if you asked me.

“Yo Shads, Maya’s here to see you,” Dan called as I put the weight back on the rack.

I wiped my face on my t-shirt in my hands as I made my way over to her, but not without noticing how her eyes raked over my body. That only made me smile more—friends didn’t look at friends like that. I still had it and she was still very much attracted to me that much was clear. “Hey M, what’s up?” I asked, putting on my best smile and flexing my pecks and abs.

Maya swallowed thickly and shook her head before she answered. “I-I was wondering if you could get Ave and I some tickets to the show tonight,” she stammered, trying to focus on my eyes.

“You don’t need tickets,” I said, taking a drink of my water. “We’ll just put you on the side of the stage with MB and then you don’t have to deal with any crazed fans.”

“Are you sure? I just want to do something to cheer Ave up and maybe distract her a little bit and I know we both love to see you guys preform.” Maya’s eyes were struggling to stay on mine so I took a step closer to her.

“For you and Ave, anything babe,” I said and mentally kicked myself. I probably shouldn’t use pet names in the friend zone, but were we really there still? Especially when she looked like she wanted to eat me alive? I smiled at that thought, knowing that she was slowly coming around. It was only a matter of time. “Do you need anything else?” I put my hands on my hips and her eyes instantly followed.

“I-I…” Maya said, her eyes wandering back up. “Yeah…when do you leave tomorrow?”

I ran my hand over my head and thought about it for a minute. “Not until the afternoon. We have to catch a flight to Italy. Are you coming with us? If so let me know and I’ll arrange to get you guys tickets and a room at the next hotel.”

“I think so…but I’ll have to talk to Ave,” she said with a small smile. God that was beautiful. “But do you think we’d have time to go to a spa in the morning? Do you know if there are any in town?”

“Sorry, M. I have no idea but I can look into it for you if you’d like,” I offered and Maya just shook her head. “No, I can do it…see you at the show,” she said before quickly disappearing out the door. Well that was a step in the right direction if I do say so myself.

Avery’s POV

Everything around was happening way too quickly and in a matter of seconds everything was out in the open. All I could do was stand in shock as Jimmy talked to my stomach in front of everyone, the reality of the whole situation hitting my like a tone of bricks. It was real and I couldn’t deny the possibility of a child growing in there any longer. Everyone knew and I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore and that terrified me. It was like waking up from a nightmare only to find out that it was true.

I mean, how on earth was I going to raise a child? I didn’t have a job. I didn’t have any money, and god knows if Brian would actually stick to his words and stay with me. I was still partially convinced that he was only with me now out of duty, not because he actually wanted me back. That thought hurt and freaked me out anymore because if that was true, there was nothing stopping him from leaving both the baby and me.

I slowly put my hands down on my stomach as I turned away from the group of people asking a million questions. Was there really something growing in side there? How as I going to be a mother when I didn’t have anything? Oh god…I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn’t know the first thing about any of this and party of me had hoped that the problem would just go away. But here it was out in the open in front of all our friends. Who the hell told them anyway?

I was petrified as Brian pulled me over to the table and everyone started talking about being a family and going through this together. No! I didn’t want to go through this at all, not when I hadn’t come to terms with it myself. I felt the panic rising in my chest and I had to get out of there.

“This is too much for me… I need to go--” I gasped, quickly pushing up from the table. I was so dizzy from the panic attack that was starting that I stumbled sideways, Brian catching me at the last minute. For a split second his eyes met mine and I could see the fear in them and that terrified me. He was freaking out too which from experience meant he was going to back out. Oh god, he was going to leave me to deal with this all alone…and after he promised.

“But Ave—” Maya tried but I held her hand up, I didn’t want her to tell me that it was going to be okay. I couldn’t hear that because I had no idea what to think about any of this. All I knew was that I could be carrying a human inside of me and I had to come to terms with that before I could think about anything else. This was real and there was no turning back.

“I’ll bring you to our room,” Brian said and I shook my head. No I needed to be alone to think and I didn’t want to rely on him if he wasn’t going to be there in the end. That would hurt too much. There was no doubt that I loved him but I had no idea where I stood with him. Was he only with out of duty? “I need some time to think, I just…” I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Please don’t shut me out, Ave. We are in this together, you know that, right?!” Brian said as he grabbed my hand. “I just want to be there for you.” My breath caught in my chest when I realized I had my answer. I just want to be there for you. He was only here to help me with the pregnancy, and that thought hurt.

I took a deep breath and slowly looked up to meet his eyes, my heart aching. “I know, Brian,” I whispered. I quickly stood on my tiptoes and placed a small kiss on his lips to distract him. I had to get away and think about everything.

“Ave!” Brian called as I quickly pulled away from the kiss and stepped in the elevator, the doors shutting before he could even move. It hurt to leave him standing there but I knew it would hurt even more to let him back in only to be crushed again.

As soon as the door shut, I completely broke down. My world crumbled around me and I didn’t know what to do. How was I going to have a baby and what the hell was my dad going to say? Oh everything was so fucked up and I had no idea what to do. How was I going to raise this kid with nothing? I couldn’t open my shop and have a baby at the same time? I know Brian said he was going to be there for me, but god knows how long that was going to last when they headed back out on tour again. It was like life as I knew it was over.

By the time I made it back to my room, I wrapped myself in a blanket and rocked myself back and forth, trying to come to terms with everything. Was Matt right? Would we always be a family if I was pregnant or not? They had been thus far, even when we shut them out and hopped the next flight to the UK. They still welcomed us back with open arms. Would this be any different?

With a sigh, I stood up and headed out to the balcony, letting the midday sun fall on me. Brian was right, I had called them my family and I could trust them with everything. They had never let me down before so why would I think that they would now? God, I was an idiot… But what about Brian?

I closed my eyes as I leaned back in the patio chair. He promised that he would be there for me but what happened if I wasn’t pregnant? Did he still want me if I wasn’t carrying his child? That part was unclear. But he had been so sweet, loving, and supportive the past few days. Was that all an act? I didn’t want it to be because I would give anything to be back in his arms every night. I loved him but the question was did he still love me?

“Ave?” I heard Brian’s voice sound sometime later. I took in a shaky breath as I heard his footsteps approach. “Ave? Sorry I didn’t come sooner, I had sound check,” Brian said, as he kneeled down in front of me and took my hands into his. “Are you okay?”

I swallowed thickly when our skin touched, sending an electric shock through my body. “I’m okay now…I just freaked out a little bit,” I admitted, avoiding looking in his eyes. “Jimmy kind of made everything real for me…” I finished with a sigh.

“Me too,” Brian agreed as he calloused fingers moved over the back of my hand. “But I meant what I said, I’m here for you…and the baby…whatever you need,” he said, putting his hand on my stomach.

So there it was again… there for the baby thing. I closed my eyes and bit down on my bottom lip, taking in a deep breath. I couldn’t stand the question burning in the back of my mind anymore. I had to know where we stood. “So what happens when we go back to Huntington Beach and this is all said and done? What are we?” I asked, my eyes snapping up to look at him as my heart raced in my chest.

“What do you mean what happens? We’ll be a family just like we already are…” he said and I looked away. “I’ll do whatever you need me to…”

“But what if there is no baby?” I finally burst. “What if we go get the doctor’s test and there isn’t anything. What does that mean?”

Brian looked up at me agape. “Ave, you’re not alone in this…We’re all here for you not matter what,” he said and I just scoffed and got up. He was avoiding my question! He knew what I was talking about so I made it blatantly clear.

“But what about us?” I asked, standing up and looking down at him. “Where do we stand if there is no baby?”

Brian just gapped at me. “Ave…I-I—“ he started but never finished.

“You know what, never mind, Brian. I just got my answer,” I said, pushing the tears that were rising back up. I refused to let them fall.

“Ave? Ave wait! Where are you going?” Brian called after me as I grabbed my purse and my phone.

“I’m going to find Maya, have a good show, Brian. And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” I said before slamming the door shut and storming down the corridor. My heart ached with the reality of each step away from him. How did we end up so broken again?

Notes