Maya’s POV

I should have known what a dumb idea it was to go after Matt and find him in the gym.
I always had a weak spot for him when he was all sweaty and working out, so how in hell did I think this was a good idea?

But before I knew it I stood in the doorway of the gym, and my breath caught in my throat, a lot of men were working out at the moment, but my eyes caught the man with the dimpled smile, that smile never ceased to make me feel better.

And there he was- working out, his body taunt, his muscles pumped, sweat glistering on his skin, he was a sight to look at and I felt the need to grant myself a little more time, just to take him in, and I shouldn’t interrupt his training, anyway right?
That would be uncalled for?!

I licked my lips, when he pulled of the shirt and his upper body was completely bared to my view, he really had a good shape, his tattoos looking even more vivid with the light shimmer of sweat on them, I bit my bottom lip when he lifted another weight, remembering just how good his arms had felt around me, keeping me safe, making me feel so small and secure with him.

He turned his back on me and started another workout, I twisted my hair between my fingers absently, afraid I would do something else, with that sight before me. I couldn’t storm over there even if the need to do exactly that was way too present in my mind.

“Hey beauty, what are you doing here?” Dan stood before me and I quickly shifted my eyes to his before they moved back over to Matt, I didn’t wanna miss one second of him.
“I just…” Wait why was I here? “I wanted to talk to Matt, but I don’t wanna interrupt him, he seems to be… ahmm… occupied” I finally got out and hoped my stuttering didn’t give too much away, of the state my mind was in.

“Ah don’t worry, he will be glad for a little break, he shouldn’t overdo it when they got a show later on, wait a second” Dan winked and turned towards Matt, “Yo Shads, Maya’s here to see you,” He called and slowly Matt turned around, and I tried to swallow real hard.

Oh god, this was such a dumb idea, that mass of a man was walking towards me and that dimpled smile was visible, making my knees weak, but I had to remind myself why I was here, and that we were friends, nothing else, even though I had no friendly thoughts about him in my head right now.

He took another step towards me, my eyes wandering up and don’t his naked upper body, and his low hanging basketball shorts, imagining just how often we had done an extra work out session, right after he came out of the gym, shit… was he thinking about the same thing, right now?

Because I couldn’t get that image out of my head, and I felt guilty for it, but it just wouldn’t leave, I couldn’t forget how Matt always took care of me, made me hot and cold, made me scream and moan, fuck Maya, calm down.

I breathed deeply in and out and finally could voice my request, even though it was hard to concentrate. When I got the information from Matt about the show later, I didn’t linger one second longer, not to do anything stupid I would later regret.

I walked back up to the room that Ave and I had shared, which was now mine alone, and called the airline to reserve tickets for me and Ave, so we could fly together with Avenged to their next destination, which would be Italy.

I would have to talk to Ave about the whole plan and if she wanted to follow the guys still, but I think it would be for the best to stay with them, until we were sure that she was or wasn’t pregnant.

I pulled my phone back out and finally listened to the voicemail that Ben had left me last night, we apparently had missed each other’s calls just for a view minutes, but I had been so tired yesterday that I couldn’t have seemed to stay up a minute longer.

I had to smile at the message he left me, sure he would mention his blue balls, that ass… and he missed me… my heart was melting a little at his words and then again Matt was pushing his way into my thoughts, and I closed my eyes.
What does all this mean?

When my phone suddenly started ringing in my hands I nearly threw it away so unexpected came that noise, but I quickly recovered and before looking at the caller I picked up.

“Hello?” I asked and heard a relieved sigh.
“Love, damn… Finally I get a hold on you” Ben’s voice sounded distant.
“I can’t really hear you, are you in the car?” I asked frowning, trying to concentrate.
“Yeah, wait a second.” Ben yelled a little louder and then it rustled and then I could hear him loud and clear.

“Better now, love?” He asked and I chuckled “Perfect”
“You got my message? I didn’t hear my phone when you called, shit I felt so bad, and then you must have gone to sleep, right?” Ben asked and I nodded “Yeah, we were out having a small drink and dancing, it was real nice… but then I was dead tired when I arrived at my hotel room” I told him, and heard some humming.

“Nothing else happened?” Ben asked and I heard the suspicion in his voice.
“Not really, some guy cornered me when I was out to have some fresh air, but he got chased away” Why was I even telling him this?!

“What?! What did he do? Are you okay?” Ben sounded enraged and I mentally kicked myself.
“No, don’t worry. I’m good, nothing happened. Matt came out and the guy scrambled away.”
“Matt saved the day, huh? Great…, fucking great.” Ben said sarcastically and I sighed “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.” I said feeling tired, I didn’t wanna hurt Ben with the things I said but it did hurt him, cause he wasn’t here.
Shit, I sucked at these things!

“No, it’s okay… As long as that fucker keeps his distance to you! I mean it Maya, if he tries anything I’m one flight away, I’ll get in the fucking plane and will-” I closed my eyes, shit.
“Ben, please… Calm down. He didn’t try anything, we agreed on being friends and it’s not like I’m around him 24/7, I had breakfast with Jimmy this morning, tonight Ave and I will watch the show and oh we will fly by tomorrow afternoon towards the next destination.”
Silence greeted me.

“Ben?” I asked afraid we lost the connection again.
“Work still not done?” He asked and his tone has changed again.
“No, honestly we just keep on throwing ideas around, but we really didn’t get anything done. We will work more on it during the next days…” I lied and hoped that it would be at least partly true, maybe Ave and I will work on some designs soon or at least speak about the job?

A knock on the door sounded and I heard Ave’s voice, “Babe, we have a meeting now… Can we talk later again?” I asked and heard a sigh from Ben.
“Fuck, Maya… This sucks. I want you with me not miles away, I can’t handle this shit.” Ben finally let out, some curses following.

“I know.. I’m sorry. If this… If this is too much we can-” I started but got interrupted right away.
“Don’t even finish that! How about we skype tomorrow, I wanna see your beautiful face again, love. It’s hunting me in my dreams, and I wanna make sure you are still there and beautiful as ever…” Ben asked and changed the topic.

“Yes, I’ll organize a laptop and promise to make it happen, okay? I’ll let you know when we fly and when I’ll be able to chat with you, okay?” I said and the knocking on my door got more intense, so I got up and opened the door to a confused and still hurt looking Ave.
I held my hand to the phone “Come in, hun” I motioned Ave inside and took my hand away.
“Okay love, I miss you and call me again later on, alright?” Ben asked “I will, have a good day, miss you”

With that I hung up before he could say anything else and turned to Ave. “Ave, what’s wrong now? Are you okay?” She shook her head tear spilling from her eyes and it broke my heart.
“Hey hey… come here” I sat down beside her and pulled her small form into me, I stroked her hair and rubbed her back until the sobs finally subsided.

“What happened? Have you thought about everything?” I asked and Ave’s eyes slowly met mine.
“I did… and I talked to Brian… I asked him, if-if he is just-just now here with me for the child and his answer was pretty obvious.” Her voice broke a couple of times and I frowned, that couldn’t be true, I talked to Brian myself, and yes he was confused and overwhelmed but I couldn’t believe that he was just together with Ave cause he thought she was pregnant.
“But babe, what if you got him wrong?” I pulled Ave’s head in my lap and let my fingers run through her hair, like I used to do, when I tried to soothe her and calm her down.

“There was nothing to get wrong, M.” She closed her eyes, and another tear ran down her cheek.
I sighed “I talked to him earlier, sweetie and… He didn’t look like he was just doing it out of responsibility. He was crushed, cause you went away, he wanted to be by your side, to help you deal with everything.” I tried to explain but Ave just gave me a sarcastic laugh.

“See, deal with everything, that’s what he said too. Not be with me, cause his feelings are still there, deal with the situation… What if I am not pregnant, then he will be running out of the doc’s office, happy to be rid of me?” Ave sobbed, more tear falling down on her cheeks and I pulled a tissue out, handing it to Ave, while my fingers still tried to whisk away those straying tears.

“You know what we will be doing now, Ave?” I asked trying to get her to other thoughts.
“What?” She looked up. “We will get dressed up, I’ll make you hair and make-up, make you feel even prettier then you normally are and then we head to the show, we can watch from the side, together with MB and Jason. And tomorrow morning I will make a reservation for us at the Spa, just you and me, how does that sound?” I asked and Ave began to shake her head.

“No no no, I won’t accept a no. It will be fun I promise, and if you really think Brian is behaving that way, then show him what he is losing, this way or the other, we are here to have fun with our friends, as well, right? Come on, Ave…” She sighed loudly and finally nodded “I will make it worth your while, I promise, little gnome.”

Said and done, Ave and I were down in the lobby waiting for the Van to bring us towards the arena together with the roadie guys and Jess, Ave had one rule that I had to take care of, keeping Brian on a distance for the moment, which might be tricky, but I would do my best.

“Who have you been talking to when I came into your room?” Ave asked “Ben?”
“Yeah, we missed some of our calls from the previous nights, and I had to realize again, how bad I am at this distance thing…I keep saying the wrong things…” I sighed still feeling bad.
“Is it that, or does it maybe has something to do with a certain someone who is driving your thoughts away from the UK?” Ave grinned a little and I rolled my eyes.

“I honestly don’t know. I know you don’t like Ben, and before we headed over here, I was pretty certain everything was over, but when he showed up there… I mean… there is something, I just don’t know if it is…”
“…Enough?” Ave asked and I nodded.

“Maya, why are you so stubborn? If you don’t think that this thing with Ben will work, you should tell him… and if you still feel something for Matt, you should follow that feeling. He is just waiting for you to give him a sign… and I know you don’t wanna hear it, but you and Matt, that’s it… the perfect combination, so you better think about this and make a decision…” Ave said and I closed my eyes.

“But what if I tell Ben it’s not enough and the thing with Matt also doesn’t work anymore, what if I just didn’t give Ben and me enough time? Ave, I’m scared… and confused, this whole situation is making me restless… and I know it’s nothing compared to yours but-” I trailed off when Ave suddenly pulled me in her arms.

“You don’t always need to be strong, M. I am here for you as well, no matter what you think. I know I also put a lot on your shoulders, making you come with me and being here with me when you have Ben there…” Ave said and I shook my head at her “You couldn’t make me do something, I don’t want to, little gnome. We are only to get in a double pack, you know that…”

I laid my arm around her slim shoulders and leaned in “If Brian is dumb enough to not make this work between you and him again, it’s his loss, Ave. I won’t leave your side, but I still don’t believe he is just with you cause of the possibility of you being pregnant.”

Ave shook her head slightly “If he doesn’t show me how his feelings really are, this doesn’t make any sense, M. I don’t want him only to act like he wants to be with me cause of a child. Either he shows me he loves me, or this is done.”

Brian’s POV

I stood there speechless, how could this conversation go down the drain so fast. I just wanted to make her feel better and not have her run away from me again.

“But what about us?” Ave had asked and I frowned, what does she mean “Where do we stand if there is no baby?”

“Ave…I-I—“ I started but what should I tell her, that my feelings are still there, but I didn’t know what she was thinking about it, that I wanted us to start over, but did she want the same?

“You know what, never mind, Brian. I just got my answer,” Ave snapped and I gapped, wait what?! I didn’t even get the chance to sort thought my thoughts.

“Ave? Ave wait! Where are you going?” I called after her but she was so fast grabbing her stuff that she didn’t really give me a chance to stop her, and the most important part, she didn’t want me to.

“I’m going to find Maya, have a good show, Brian. And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” The door shut behind her and that’s where I still stood.

Or rather where I was standing since she was gone, what did I just do? And how could this go so damn wrong yet again?!
All I wanted was to make her feel good and loved, made her realize we are all here to help her, one family always there to support each other.

And she got everything completely wrong? Was this just not meant to be? Why were so many complications thrown in our way?
And how could she get the words wrong that I just told her?
Why was everything I did wrong in her opinion?!

Fuck!
I punched a wall, making my knuckles bleeds slightly, it hurt, but didn’t hurt enough to numb out the hurt that Ave was causing in my heart.

What if she would think I wasn’t a good dad? Would she try and stay away, so I wouldn’t see my kid?
And what if there was no kid, then I wouldn’t see her again at all?!

So many ways and they all led to no solution, my head was full of thoughts and yet there was no ultimate answer as it seemed!

A knock on the door sounded and I sighed, still hoping it was Ave, who would come back but knowing she wouldn’t, she didn’t even plan to see our show. I sighed and opened the door to find Matt standing there.

“Hey man, we are about to leave, the girls are downstairs already… and what happened to your hand, man?” Matt frowned down on my red and still little bloody knuckles.
“I punched a wall” I answered and then began to think about the first part of the sentence “What girls? Jess and Maya?” I asked more hope blooming inside of me.

“Yeah, and Ave, they wanna watch the show, why are you so surprised? What happened?” Matt shoved me inside and narrowed his eyes.
I closed my eyes running a hand through my hair, pulling on the ends, shit!

“Fuck, I tried to make Ave feel better but as it seemed I royally fucked up. She was mad and left me…” I summed it up and Matt’s expression changed.
“Oh damn, now I get what they were talking about” Matt said and I frowned “Huh? What? Did she say something to you?” I asked and Matt slightly shook his head.

“No, not directly… I went past the lobby and heard them talking… Let me tell you something, Brian. If you really still love Ave and you want another chance with her, with or without a kid, then fucking tell her that, tell her how you really feel, cause right now I think you are on the edge of losing her and I mean for good” Matt turned and walked to the door.

“But-” I started again but Matt held his hand up “Think about it, man. And we meet downstairs in 5, we got a show to play.”

The door slammed shut and I got a feeling Matt was pissed off… but why?

Anyway I had other things to do and think about, like a show I had to play in an hour, or a girlfriend or not girlfriend I had to figure out, that was enough, I couldn’t start thinking about Matt’s problems as well, maybe when mine were solved, but sadly it didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon.

I walked downstairs and the first thing I saw was Ave, Maya and Jess standing in the lobby, my eyes immediately scanned the group but stayed on Ave, god she was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. Her hair was in long wavy curls, draped down her sides and back, glistening like pure gold and when she laughed at something Jess said, I thought my heart skipped a beat.

I made steps towards the group, to tell Ave just how beautiful she looked when MB stopped me, “Dude, I can’t let you do that.” He shook his head and I frowned.
“Do what?” I asked dumbfounded.

“Go to the girls, they said they have a girl’s evening, so no men are allowed to approach them beside me and my brother since we will be staying with them during the show, sorry man.”
“What the fuck… that’s bullshit.” But before I could walk past him, I saw the girls already getting into the roadie Van and driving away towards the arena without even seeing me, or well maybe they did but didn’t give a damn.

“Fuck, thank you, asshole” I shoved him out of the way and walked up the bus, we would get a chance to talk before the show, I would make sure of that.

But I didn’t know Maya made sure that, that wouldn’t happen. The girls had apparently other plans, MB was assigned as it seemed to entertain the girls before the show, he got them cocktails, where I assured myself that Ave was only drinking alcohol free ones…

He introduced them to the opening act, and I stood by watching everything not able to go over there, cause they stood on the opposite side of the stage or as I called it Zacky’s region, I bet they did that on freaking purpose.

If I wanted to catch Ave, I had to walk around the whole backstage area, being stopped by VIP Fans and never arrive there in time, to get a proper talk done.

And before I even knew it, we were announced and Matt pushed us out on stage, again my eyes moved over to the side, meeting Ave’s eyes for a moment, the lights from the stage making her illuminate in red and yellow and I had to smile, so beautiful, which nearly made me miss my first intro, fuck concentration Gates, you gotta get this job done!

At some time during the show I fell into something that felt like a trance, my body was moving, my fingers were playing the notes, but my head zoomed completely out.

I thought about the words Ave said to me, they seemed so confusing and I wasn’t able to answer them at that moment, but now.
Why didn’t I answer, and why did Ave even have to ask them?

I did tell Matt the truth, I loved Ave… of course I loved her, I mean all this time apart and all these little mistakes and misunderstandings made me even more aware of the fact that she and I, we belonged to together, for me it was crystal clear.

No doubt about it, or why did I feel so bad being apart, why did I always plan to get my girl back, that would be all for nothing…
And now that I nearly had her, I would let her slip thought my fingers, because another misunderstanding was happening? – Fuck, No!

I looked to the side of the stage during one of my solo’s, Ave’s eyes were finally on me, I didn’t look up to meet them, I just took in the sight of her standing there, a small moment I pictured her there with a little boy on her hand, pointing her finger at me saying “Daddy”, my heart was about to burst only from this image.

And then my eyes met Ave’s the first time since the beginning again, I kept on playing, a small smile was on her lips, maybe not even for me, but I just imagined it was, having her standing there, with or without a kid, waiting for me, to be done, to come home to her, because wherever she was, my home was.
That was what Matt was trying to tell, me and what he longed for as well… now his words had sunken in.

That’s it, that was the ultimate answer and I just found it…

Why didn’t I tell her it made no difference to me, if she was pregnant or not, because it didn’t!
If she was, we would manage, we had friends and family that would support us, and even if not, hell we still had us, we are family.

And if she wasn’t pregnant, she was still my family, she was the love I had missed so dearly when she was away from me, she was the woman I wanted a family with, and if that wouldn’t be now, it would be in a couple of years… That’s was fine either way, as long as we were together…

As soon as the last song was over, I pulled the guitar over my head and handed it to the first person standing next to me, not caring that Johnny had no idea what he should be doing with it.

I crossed the stage hearing Matt yelling “Good evening and Goodbye” until I headed past Zack who had a frown on his face until I stood directly in front of Avery.

But before I would freaking spill my heart out to her, I grabbed her into my arms, and pressed my lips to hers in a hungry and passionate kiss, preparing her of the words that were about to come, she first was reluctant but when she gasped and I granted myself entrance, and thank god she didn’t pull away.

When I set her back on her feet, I took her hand in mine, and looked her deeply into her eyes, I knew Jess and Maya were staring at us but I didn’t care ,“I love you Ave, I never stopped, not one second, when we were together or when you were away from me. I will love you, if you carry my child and I will love you if not, because one day, I hope you will. I was an idiot, for not saying these words to you right away, but you know I sometimes need a little longer” I gave her a smirk and Ave chuckled, and a small tear escaped her eye, but I caught it and whisked it away.

“All I want is for you to stay with me, and tell me you still feel the same way about me…” I asked and looked into her eyes deeply, and just hoped she wouldn’t crash my heart… yet again.

Notes

How will Ave react?!

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