Avery’s POV

“What’s up with you tonight, little gnome? You act like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders,” Maya said as she fixed her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. Well, she wasn’t exactly wrong with that statement. Though if you asked me, I wasn’t the only one.

You see ever since we arrived at the club, both Maya and I had been distracted. She had finally explained the Matt saga, which only made my thoughts travel to Brian even more.

I couldn’t get my mind off Brian and the texts we were shared. Not to mention the extreme guilt I felt every time I looked at James. It wasn’t fair what I was doing to him and it was obvious that we needed to talk. But what would I say? I couldn’t exactly come out and tell him that I couldn’t be in a relationship with him because I was still in love with Brian. That would crush him and James didn’t deserve that. No if I were being fair, he deserved my heart in a relationship, but I just couldn’t do it—my heart belonged to someone else.

Then there was the whole Brian situation. I just kept replaying our night together and all the messages in my head, each time my heart racing at the memory. I was really excited to see him and also terrified. What would happen after we talked? Could I just forgive him and move on? From what he and Zacky said he never meant to hurt me, but that didn’t change the fact that he did. Though I couldn’t deny the love we had and how he made me feel. Maybe I could forgive him but it would definitely take some time. Brian would need to prove himself to me and make me fall for him all over again. Though he was already off to a good start…

“I’m just not feeling very good,” I admitted. It was true, my stomach had been cramping all day and I had no idea what that was about. Did I eat something bad? Or was it the guilt building up inside of me?

“It doesn’t have anything to do with Brian being in town does it?” Maya looked at me through the mirror with a raised brow and I quickly averted my eyes, the shame rising to a new level. I still hadn’t come clean about anything to do with Brian.

But I was so torn! I desperately wanted to tell her what happened between Brian and I, but how could I when I didn’t really know myself? We were in limbo and there was no since in getting her all worked up yet. Besides, the last thing I needed on top of my guilt right now was a lecture from Maya about how stupid I was for sleeping with him. In her opinion, I should completely forget about Brain and move on after what he did to me. But maybe if I explained everything she would understand? I know, I know, she was my best friend and would support me no matter how stupid she thought I was being, but I guess I just didn’t know how to breech the topic. I was afraid of what she would think and say, or worse that she would try to talk me out of what I knew my heart wanted.

I shrugged my shoulders and fixed my hair in the mirror. “I haven’t seen him since the party three nights ago,” which wasn’t a lie. “Like I said, just not feeling very well…” I trailed off, letting the awkward silence fall between us. God, since when was it so hard to talk to my best friend about my love life? Wouldn’t I just feel better if I was honest for one time this week? Come on Ave, just open up and tell her. Maybe she could help or offer some advice, but as soon as I opened my mouth Maya started talking again.

“Hmm…okay,” she said disbelievingly. “But when you’re ready to talk about it let me know. Anyway, we should probably get back out there. The last thing we need is for Ben to come storming into the ladies room. He’s been really clingy lately, like he’s afraid I’m going to disappear,” Maya chuckled but she looked a little distant or even scared. Had seeing Matt again shaken her too? Did she doubt her relationship with Bruce? I could bet money on it and I was positive that she would end up going back to Matt. It was only a matter of time seeing as they belonged together. Was the same true for Brian and I?

“Yeah, you’re right,” I nodded, feeling a little relieved. Okay, so maybe I wasn’t ready to talk about what was going on with Brian yet. But soon…I’d have to tell her soon.

“Oh shit, I almost forgot!” Maya said, pulling me from my thoughts of Brian again.

“What?” I asked as Maya wrapped her arms around me.

“I need to borrow your phone, love. When I was dancing with Cam we made a bet on how to make a dirty echo shot. He doesn’t believe me that it exists and I want to prove it! Make me fifty dollars richer!” she laughed. We both knew that if she couldn’t find it that Cam would never take her money but Maya would surely take his. She had no qualms about it.

“Where is your phone?” I asked, trying to hid the panic in my voice. Oh no, what if she saw my messages with Brian? What if he texted back when she was looking up something? Shit, I didn’t want Maya to find out about Brian that way. I would tell her, but once I was sure I knew what was going on. That didn’t make me a bad friend, did it?

“It’s dead and in Ben’s car,” Maya gave me a questioning look and I sighed. I knew there was no denying her my phone or else she would have a million question. “Come on, just real quick and then it’s back to the party.” Yeah, the party I didn’t really want to be part of.

If I was being honest with myself, I really couldn’t bring myself to let loose and have fun. There was just too much weighing on my mind with the whole Brian and James situation. The night out was supposed to distract me from my guilt and problems, but it was having the opposite affect. I just felt like the worst human being every time James looked at me with those sad eyes, and he didn’t deserve that. He deserved someone that could love him wholeheartedly, not someone that was still in love with their ex.

“What’s wrong?” James asked as we approached. Was my expression really that telling? Wait, was something wrong with Maya too? I quickly looked back to see her transform a frown into a smile. Was she hiding something too?

“Nothing, I just asked Ave to lend me her phone real quick.” Maya explained. I quickly went to my purse and fumbled around for my phone. As I looked, my heart raced in my chest. Brian had to have texted me back by now, but what did he say? Was he willing to fight for me and meet me? I really hoped so. Those feelings of hope and excitement told me that I had made the right choice in texting him back. Now, I was just anxious for his response.

“Shit… sorry, M. Battery’s low… it shut off… Damn it,” I hissed, staring down at the black screen and willing it to turn on. No! This couldn’t be happening! What if Brian texted me back? What if he wanted to meet now?

“Ave?” James said, touching my shoulder and causing me to jump. “You alright, babe?” I heard him say but his words didn’t register. My mind was too busy going through a list of ‘what ifs’ when it came to Brain. I barely even noticed when James took the phone out of my hands. “We can charge it as soon as we get back home… We just have to decide where to sleep, yours or mine?” He said but all I could do was nod, my mind flashing back to Brian and what he might be doing right now. Was he thinking about me?

“Yeah, right.. No, all good…” I stammered, realizing James was still waiting for an answer. Shit, get your act together! James put my phone back in my bag and set it to the side, and I couldn’t help but follow it with my eyes. What I would give for my phone to be working right now.

The next thing I knew, a shot was pushed into my hand and we were all cheering to a good night, well everyone except for me. I still wasn’t quite with the conversation. My mind was lost with a certain brown-eyed guitar god. Not to mention that I was sticking with my one drink rule because I knew all my guilty secrets would come spilling out with alcohol. Me not drinking was better for everyone.

“Hey,” James voice sounded in my ear as he pulled me into his side. “I get that you don’t really feel like partying tonight. So let’s not stay too long and we can have breakfast together in the morning,” and there was that charming smile. Why was he always so kind to me? I didn’t deserve it.

“I saw this nice little shop down town at the Square; we could enjoy the morning together, eat something and talk… You are kind of distanced to me and I don’t like that… I want my Ave back.”

Wait, his Ave? No, no, no….he couldn’t think that. I was only going to hurt him. The panic was rising in side of me but I quickly shook it away. I couldn’t be in a relationship with James right now. Hell, I didn’t know if I could be in on with Brian either—there were just too many unanswered questions right now.

Shit I had to pull myself together and not give anything away yet. I didn’t want to ruin his evening but I definitely knew we had to talk. Maybe tomorrow at breakfast would be the perfect opportunity to lay most of my cards on the table. “No, I’m fine really…” I lied, my blue eyes looking everywhere but at him. “It’s Just been a lot lately… but sure, I’d love to go have breakfast together, yeah we should do some talking, I think you are right,” I smiled and James pulled me back into his side, his arm around my shoulder.

“Perfect,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “We’ll head out in a couple of minutes, I promised the guys I would play our usual drinking game first. Sound good?”

“Sure thing,” I said, giving him my best smile. I was so anxious to get home and plug in my phone and I hoped the game would take long.

Unfortunately, one game turned into multiple and I had to drag an inebriated James home. I must have looked ridiculous trying to hold up a 6’2’’ James up when I only stood at about 5’4’’ myself. Not to mention that he kept mumbling incoherent things and then looking at me with expecting eyes. What did he want from me?

“Why are you so damn beautiful?” James slurred as I helped him up the stairs to his bedroom. Well that was the most coherent thing he’s side since we left the bar. And god this guy was heavy. I guess this constituted as my workout for tomorrow, right?

“We’re almost there, big guy, a few more steps,” I panted, feeling absolutely exhausted now. At this point I almost wished I had been drinking so I wouldn’t feel the ache in my arms and legs right now.

I carefully helped James out of his leather jacket and jeans before helping him stumble into bed. Only as soon as he touched the mattress, James reached up and dragged me down with him. He pulled me into chest and I swear a few seconds later I heard him snoring. Thank fucking god for that because I wasn’t in mood for talking, or really doing anything besides sleeping. I hadn’t planned on staying, but my fatigue, freezing body, and laziness won the battle. What would one more night hurt?

The next morning I awoke to James gently shaking my shoulder. “Wake up, babe, it’s time to go to breakfast,” he said, his charming smile catching me by surprise. Was he up and showered already? Damn, I always forgot that he was a morning person. He leaned in to kiss my forehead just before I got up and hightailed it to the bathroom.

As soon as I was inside, I locked the door behind me, feeling my anxiety rise. Damn it, I really had to talk to him today and there were no excuses this time. I had to be honest with him because giving him this false hope was only going to hurt him. I just hoped that James would understand that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship right now.

I quickly got in the shower, dried my hair, applied makeup, and got dressed in a cute salmon colored that James had picked out for me the last time I went shopping. The more I thought about it, the more he was like a best friend that was always there for me—kind of like Maya. I just hoped he wouldn’t be too upset with me.

“Ave, you almost ready?” James called, rapping at the door. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. It was going to be, okay. Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself. Though I still felt sick to my stomach over the whole thing.

Fifteen minutes later, James and I had made our way to the main square. I was nervously chewing on my bottom lip the entire time and James seemed to notice my tension because he kept trying to make me laugh. “Okay, so what would you rather do, swim the English Channel or dive through the rubbish to find something?”

I looked at him with a wrinkled nose and he just laughed. “Well, neither of those sound particularly appealing,” I grimaced just as we headed into the coffee shop. “But I guess swim the English Channel.”

“Eww…I’d pick rubbish any day. Who knows what kind of shit is floating in the channel,” he laughed and just rolled my eyes. It didn’t look any worse than the Pacific Ocean to me. “So what do you want to drink?”

“The usual,” I shrugged, moving away from him and looking through the shelves of cups and merchandise. “You know mocha late.”

“You want the short right?” He asked, referring to both the size of a drink and my height.

“Haha, very funny with the short joke,” I said and rolled eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he laughed. “I know you want a grande, right?” I nodded. “Coming right up and then we are going to that little café I was telling you about, alright?” James said, pointing at me as he moved to get in line. I couldn’t help but laugh as he narrowed his eyes, making a silly face at me. Okay, so the guy did know how to make me laugh. “

“Whatever you say, Mr. Cassells,” I said, shaking my head as a gasp sounded behind me followed by whispering.

I raised my brow and nonchalantly turned away from the shelf, pretending to look at a cup behind me, to see a group of girls gawking at James. They were all wearing a variety of band t-shirts, including Asking Alexandria, Avenged Sevenfold, and Korn and I knew exactly what they were whispering about.

“Do you really think it’s him?” I heard one of the girls whisper. I bit down on my lip to stop my laughter as James caught my eye. Oh, he was in for it now after bragging about how he never gets spotted in public on the way here.

“Oh, it’s definitely him,” I said, turning toward the girls and watching James’ face fall.

“Oh my gosh, you’re kidding, right?” the girl seriously looked like she was going to faint.

“Nope, that is the one and only James Cassells and I sure he would love to meet his biggest fans,” I couldn’t help myself now. He really had it coming, especially after that short joke too. Oh, payback was a bitch Mr. Cassells.

“Oh my god, let’s go!” the smallest girl of the group gushed before the five of them stormed him at the counter. I couldn’t help but laugh as I picked up my coffee, and holding it up in his direction in cheers. That’s right, buddy, eat crow.

I quickly grabbed the two cups and headed out the door, still shaking my head at what happened in the café. Didn’t get recognized my ass! Though I had to admit that the Asking guys had a lot more than the Avenged. It seemed like someone recognized them everywhere we went…

“You think you’re funny don’t you, you little squirt!” James said, flying out the café door and looking at me with narrow eyes. I couldn’t help but throw my head back with a laugh as he came over to me and pulled me into his side.

“You were the one who said you didn’t get recognize…I was just proving you wrong,” I teased and looking up at him with a mischievous smirk.

“Well you’re lucky you’re so damn cute, because you otherwise I would have to beat your ass,” and I couldn’t help but blush while we walked.

“Is that so?” I found that hard to believe. James Cassells would never hurt a fly let alone me.

James nodded and shook his head, stopping us on the sidewalk. “Yeah…” His hand softly caressed my cheek as he smiled down at me, slowly inching closer. But instead of letting him kiss me, I gently put my hands on his chest and took a step back, causing him to frown. “What wrong?” he asked, looking hurt and I sighed. This exactly what I didn’t want.

“I think we need to talk, James,” I sighed, taking his hands and leading him over to the bench at the edge of the park. I had been dreading this conversation but I knew that it had to happen. I couldn’t just keep leading him on when I was only interested in friendship.

“Look James…” I said as I sat down next to him on the bench. I took his hands into mine, being very careful to avoid his eyes. I didn’t want to see the disappointment and hurt that I knew was lingering there. That would be too much for me. “I-I think you’re a really great guy and I really like you but—“

“But you’re not ready for a relationship?” James finished for me, sounding like he was reading it off something. My eyes instantly snapped up to meet him with surprise. So he knew? Then why was he still making moves at me? “I know, Ave but like I’ve told you before…I’m willing to wait. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I’m here for you, babe.”

I took a slow breath and closed my eyes as biting down on my bottom lip. He wasn’t getting it. How could I say this in a gentle way without hurting him? “I don’t know when I’ll be ready…and I don’t want you to miss out on something or someone while you’re waiting for something that-that may not happen…” I said softly, looking down at the ground.

“What do you mean that may not happen? You can deny that we’re good together, Ave,” James was starting to sound irritated and I felt even worse. “Look at me,” he said, taking my face in his hands. “I really care about you and you care about me, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes…but—“

“Then there is no question,” James finished, looking down at me with a small smile. “I will wait for you to be ready.”

“That’s not the point James,” I sighed, moving away and putting my head in my hands. I started pacing in front of him, talking as I twisted my hands in front of me. It was the only way I was going to get this out. “I-I just need some space to sort threw everything…I-I need a friend more than a distraction,” I finally spit out and James looks slightly taken aback.

“Is this because of Brian?” He asked softly, his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head with their intense gaze. I couldn’t look at him.

Shit, I didn’t want to go down this road with this conversation. “No—Yes—I don’t know,” I admitted, feeling confused. “Either way it’s not the point. I’m still trying to put myself back together and like I said, I need a friend, not a boyfriend.”

James just scoffed and stood up, taking a step towards me, his hands moving to my shoulders. “I’m not giving up on you,” he said, his light brown eyes burning into mine now. “I’ll give you some space but I’m not giving up,” and with that he walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the park by myself.

Well shit, that didn’t go at all like I had planned. I didn’t mean to hurt him because I did really care about him. My heart was just someplace else and I guess we both had Brian to blame for that.

My eyes instantly grew wide when the thought of Brian crossed my mind. SHIT! I needed to see if he texted me back and when we could meet. Before I could stop myself, I was jogging home, my thoughts fueling my run. It had been weeks since I had gone for a run so by the time I got home my lungs were burning, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

I flew into my room, plugged in my phone, and turned it on in one switch motion. I could barely stand waiting for the damn thing to turn on. “Come on….” I moaned. This was the longest thirty seconds of my life. But when it was finally loaded, I was rewarded with a text message.

My heart raced and my fingers shook at I opened it, only to feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. “No, no, no, no….” I muttered, shaking my head. I couldn’t have missed our meeting. I had to fix this!

Without hesitation, I pressed his number and held the phone to my ear. “Come on, Bri…pick up,” I whispered, anxiously jumping around my room as the phone rang. “Please still be in town…”

Only the phone rang twice before it went straight to voicemail. Did he seriously just ignore my call? No that had to be a mistake! So I tried again and this time it rang three times before I got sent to voicemail. What the hell was going on? It always rang seven times before it sent me to leave him a message. Was he really ignoring me?

“He must be in a meeting,” I said, starting to feel worried. “I’ll just send him a text.”

Hey Bri,
Sorry I missed you message. My phone died while I was out with friends. I hope you still have some time for me today. Look forward to seeing you.
Love, Ave

I just hoped that I hadn’t missed him.

Ben’s POV

I groaned and slowly opened my eyes, feeling he bright sun coming through the window. What time was it and where was I? Oh and what was that awful taste in my mouth? I feel like I swallowed a skunk and that piercing pain my temple was enough to kill me. Fuck, I had definitely been drinking, there was no doubt about that and god I felt sick.

I pinched my eyes shut again, recoiling against the light. What the hell did I do last night? The last thing I remembered was Maya sitting on my lap at the bar as we drank. I instantly smiled to myself as I thought of that beautiful creature, imagining her ass pressed into my morning wood. You know what they say, sex is the best medicine for a hangover. So I reached out a hand to find her but was surprised to find only empty sheets next to me.

“M?” I slowly sat up, blinking my painful eyes as I looked around the disaster of a room. There was clothing, empty bottles, shoes, and was that an empty bottle of champagne littering the floor? Hell what did I do last night? Two things were certain, I really needed to clean and there was no sign of my tattooed beauty. “Maya?” I called a little louder, only to recoil from the sound. Why the hell did I think that was a good idea? Maybe she just went to the bathroom.

I smiled as I imaged her in the shower; the suds falling all over her tanned and toned skin. Damn, I could die I happy man waking up to that every morning. I carefully got up and headed to the bathroom only to find it empty. Well at least I could take some damn Tylenol while I was here. Maybe she was making me breakfast, though it wasn’t like her to be up this early after a night out. Though…I don’t remember her drinking much. What the hell was up with that?

When I walked out of the bedroom the rest of the house was dead silent. “Maya? Are you out here?” I called, looking down the hall and stairs. She wasn’t anywhere to be seen. It wasn’t like Maya to be in the house without some form of music on or for her to be singing so I didn’t really like the sounds of this. Where the hell was my girlfriend.

When I arrived in the kitchen I only found a note saying that she ran out and would be back soon. I took in a shaky breath, trying to fight the feeling of anger and irritation that were starting to rise. Where the hell did she have to go that was so important? She was probably meeting with fucking blondie…damn she pissed me off with her neediness. Or worse, what if something fucking happened to her while she was out? How was I supposed to know where she was from the vaguest note ever?!

I let out a frustrated growl as I went over to the cupboard and pulled out the box of cereal. I swear, I didn’t like her going out places alone. I mean, what happens if she ran into Shadows yet a-fucking-gain? I swear I really wanted to kill that guy! He was really starting to get on my last nerve and I hated that she was letting him affect our relationship. There was fucking way I was going to let him take her away from me. That was for damn sure!

I groaned and put my throbbing head in my hands as I stared into my cereal. I felt sick and thoroughly pissed off. I just felt like Maya was slowly starting to pull away from me and I couldn’t lose her, not when I just fucking got her. She was my girl and really the only girl that I had ever wanted around. I mean, who would have thought Ben Bruce would have settled down, but look at me now.

And what was Maya doing now? I had no fucking idea! I didn’t know where she was and was about freaking sick of it! I had been sitting her staring at this bowl of mush cereal for over an hour now and she still wasn’t back. Christ it was fucking two in the afternoon now! Were was she?! And I guess answering her phone was optional today too! Fuck!

I put my head in my hands and let out a loud groan. I just couldn’t lose her…I mean ever time I closed my eyes she was what I saw. Her brown haunted my sleep with amazingly sexy dreams and I just couldn’t get the feeling of those soft lips against mine out of my head, and don’t even get me started on that tongue. Shivers covered my arms at the mere thought.

Suddenly the back door shut, pulling me from my thoughts. My eyes snapped up to see Maya walking into the kitchen chewing on her bottom lip like something was bothering her. Oh fuck, don’t tell me that she ran into that asshole. That thought made my temper flair and I couldn’t control what started coming out of my mouth.

“Where the hell have you been?” I snapped instead of saying hello. Okay, so not the smoothest move Bruce.

Maya’s mouth instantly dropped and she put her hands on her hips. “I left you a note, didn’t you get it?”

“Yeah, the world’s vaguest fucking note, Maya,” I raged, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Mind enlightening me where you’ve been all damn morning that was so much more important than me?” I could tell by the look on her face that I struck a nerve but I couldn’t stop the words from coming out in frustration. I was just so uptight about losing her that I couldn’t stop myself. “Well?!”

Notes

So trouble in paradise with Ben and Maya but does that mean Maya is giving Matt another chance? What about Ave and Brian? Ave didn't quiet tell James the whole truth but at least she stopped him. Will Brian listen to her?