ZACKY: (Walking onto the bus.) Look what we found!

GENA: (Following him on.) You didn’t find her because she wasn’t lost!

VAL: (Cooking breakfast.) I’m so sorry they forgot about you.

CASSY: It’s okay. I needed a shower anyway.

GENA: (Making Cassy sit next to Johnny and Jimmy.) Hey, what do you think Mich would say to me dying her darker?

VAL: You’ve just turned it lighter.

GENA: I know-

BRIAN: I like it light.

VAL: (Looking at Brian, then back at Gena.) No, I don’t think she’ll mind.

BRIAN: Oh yeah!

GENA: I thought you like it light?

BRIAN: Nope. Dark.

GENA: But you just said that-

MATT: Reverse psychology dude! I like it!

BRIAN: I don’t fuck about!

Val slaps Brian on the head as she leans over to give him his eggs, beans, and bacon.

VAL: Opps! Sorry there Brian!

BRAIN: You don’t mean that!

VAL: I know. So why do you wanna dye Michelle’s hair again?

GENA: Oh, because Cassy. It is Cassy isn’t it? (Cassy nods.) Cool. Well, she’s a natural auburn. So I’ll have different blondes, light brown, natural auburn and dark brown if Michy lets me loose on her head again.

VAL: Okay. Well, I don’t think she’ll mind. So, cornflakes, wasn’t it Cassy?

CASSY: Yes please.

VAL: Coming up!

She places two bacon sandwiches down for Zacky and Johnny, then slams down beans on toast for Jimmy.

JIMMY: I wanted bacon.

VAL: Tough! Ran out! (Pause.) More bacon Johnny?

Johnny nods, his mouth full.

JIMMY: But you just-

VAL: And didn’t I say no drinking last night?!

JIMMY: Yeah, but-

VAL: No buts James!

JIMMY: You gave Gates bacon-

VAL: And I know for a fact you dragged him out last night!

JIMMY: I never!

VAL: He would have happily watched some porn and gone to sleep.

Brian nods.

JIMMY: Dude, back me up.

BRIAN: I want my bacon.

JIMMY: Well you suck Short Shit’s nuts!

JOHNNY: At least we’ve got bacon!

JIMMY: I couldn’t sleep!

BRIAN: That’s true.

JIMMY: These two- (pointing at Zacky and Gena.) Kept me awake!

BRIAN: They did!

MATT: They were pretty loud when I showed Cassy to the room-

JOHNNY: I never heard them-

JIMMY: That’s because you were almost asleep in the elevator!

GENA: We weren’t that loud-

ZACKY: No louder than usual!

VAL: (To Cassy.) Were they?

CASSY: I didn’t hear a thing – but I am a heavy sleeper!

VAL: Ha! And Cassy was right next-door! Therefore, no bacon!

Jimmy looks up at Cassy, with an angry face. She puts her hands up as a surrender and mouths ‘sorry’. Jimmy goes from being angry to looking depressed.

JIMMY: Val, does this mean I have to buy you mint chocolate?

VAL: Yep!

Val places Cassy’s bowl of cereal in front of her.

BRIAN: (To Cassy.) If you ever get in Val’s bad books, buy her some mint chocolate – she’ll kill for the stuff!

JIMMY: But make sure you write who it’s from on the wrapping. One of us might claim it for our own and give it to her!

CASSY: Will do.

VAL: I don’t think Cassy is going to get in my bad books! Okay, what would you like to drink, Cassy?

GENA: Monkey’s piss!

VAL: How many more times-?

EVERYONE (not Cassy): I don’t have monkey’s piss!

VAL: Who stated that?

Matt, Zacky, Johnny and Gena point at Jimmy and Brian, whereas Jimmy and Brian point at each other.

VAL: I should have known. Right, juice Cassy?

GENA: I can grantee you won’t have what she wants.

VAL: Says you! Who always said I should open up ‘Val’s Mega store’!

GENA: Tea!

VAL: Actually I have! Herbal, strawberry, green, chamomile, oregano-

GENA: What the fuck is oregano tea?

VAL: Helps with PMSing.

JIMMY: (Sitting back.) Thanks for putting me off my beans!

VAL: And thanks for putting MB on the missing list!

JIMMY: He’s not missing.

BRIAN: He’s at a girl’s house.

VAL: Which is where?

Brian and Jimmy look up at her with blank faces.

VAL: Missing!

MATT: At least one Matt got laid last night!

VAL: Oh don’t you start!

GENA: Anyway! Cassy wants English tea! Come on Val – you got that?!

VAL: Actually, I have! I stole some from Ray out of My Chem! Well, I say stole. He left it here when their bus broke down. Does tea go out of date?

CASSY: I don’t know. I don’t think so.

VAL: Okay. It’s coming up. Gena are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?

GENA: I can’t sleep on a full stomach.

ZACKY: I can-

VAL: You can what?

ZACKY: Sleep on a full stomach.

VAL: When are you sleeping on a full stomach?

ZACKY: When we go back to bed.

VAL: You and Gena?

ZACKY: Yeah.

VAL: Now?

ZACKY: Yes Val!

JOHNNY: You’ll be lucky!

ZACKY: What? Why? Gena’s-

VAL: Did Gena need a new tech?

ZACKY: Yes!

GENA: No I never!

ZACKY: Then how come you’re always asking me to hold a piece of my hair while you do the rest of it?

GENA: Because it gets in my way!

ZACKY: Then she needs a tech!

GENA: Not no more baldilocks! And they’re called assistants!

VAL: Well, you’re not going back to bed anyway.

ZACKY: No fair! Gena is-

GENA: I didn’t get any sleep last night!

ZACKY: Neither did I!

VAL: That’s your own fault Zack Baker!

ZACKY: (Grumpily.) I have nothing better to do.

VAL: Cassy!

Cassy looks up.

VAL: Oh, sorry hon. You’ve got Cassy to show around.

ZACKY: Cass – This is the bus! Can I go to sleep now?

VAL: Don’t be a smart ass!

ZACKY: You ready to be shown around now?

CASSY: Oh-

VAL: She’s only just got her breakfast!

ZACKY: (Pause.) Ready now?

VAL: Shut up Zack!

Zacky sighs loudly.

ZACKY: (Pause.) Now?

Val slams her knife down.

GENA: I’m going to bed, night!

JIMMY: Morning!

GENA: Whatever!

Gena leaves towards the back of the bus.

ZACKY: Ready now?!

VAL: I swear! She’s just sat down! Her tea isn’t even cold enough to drink! Give the girl some time! Sorry Cassy.

Cassy smiles.

ZACKY: (Pause.) Are you ready…now?!

VAL: Zack for fuck-

CASSY: Yep!

ZACKY: Finally! (They stand together.) Follow tour guide Zacky!

They go to the bed end of the bus, towards the back.

VAL: But you haven’t drank your tea-

CASSY: That’s okay. I can’t drink it too hot anyway.

VAL: (Defeated.) Oh…okay.

BRIAN: Do you know what Michelle is gonna say to you when we meet her later?

VAL: No-

BRIAN: Babysitting!

VAL: I am not!

BRIAN: Think what you like.

VAL: Am I?

She looks around but no one meets her eye.

BRIAN: Told you so.

VAL: Then you shouldn’t be such babies! (Pouting, standing and walking to the living area away from the table.) I guess you’re all old enough to clean the dishes? And don’t leave it, I want them done before we set off!

MATT: Nice going Gates!