Zack's P.O.V.

I could feel the stupid grin spread across my face as I closed the messaging app on my phone, pushed the button that turned the screen off and shoved it into my back pocket. I don't know what's come over me lately, but every time I talk to Kelsey or am even around her, I practically morph into a different person....not in a bad way of course. My stomach does these crazy flips and twists into knots that are beyond my own control. I feel like I'm in high school again holding some stupid teenage boy crush, only difference is that this is not puppy love I'm experiencing. Kelsey is not like any other girl I have met and I've had my share of women as well as been around the block more times than I care to admit but that's nothing to brag or be proud about.

Every girl I have been with has been the stereotypical bleach-blonde, spray tanned, barbie like figure/appearance with fake everything. If it's not with them, I usually end up with some lucky fan from our concerts, though it always turns out to be 'one night stands.' I try not to get too involved with the groupies, it's nothing personal to them, I just never held any kind of emotional feelings for them, it was strictly physical. I know that makes me look like a dick, but in the end it's not hurting anyone. I get to relieve some stress and they get to sleep with a member from their favorite metal band and live to tell the tale....everyone's happy. But Kelsey is different...she is her own person, she doesn't try so hard to be somebody she's not in order to please other people. That's the one thing about fangirls I'll never understand. They think by applying layer upon layer of black eyeliner and eye shadow, wearing skinny jeans and sport multiple tattoos and piercings will cause us to fall in love with them. I'm not shooting them down, if anything I take it as a compliment that our fans are so dedicated that they are willing to get our logo inked on their skin, it's just the way some of them use it for attention or try and impress us in more ways than one. It doesn't help that they practically throw themselves at us at every autograph signing and meet & greet, but I still force a smile on my face and try to make small talk for the sake of our fans. Kelsey, along with her other friends, treat us like we are everyday ordinary people. They don't view us as famous rock stars with fame and money, they see us as human beings and I guess that's how we all became so close.

I was always known as the player of the group, the one with commitment issues. I never could keep a stable relationship, they usually always ended after about 2 weeks. I would either get bored or grow tired of always being tied down by a woman and it always got to the point where they wanted to take the relationship further, making me chicken out, then I would have to call it off. I don't get that empty, indifferent feeling when I'm hanging out with Kelsey though. It's almost mind-boggling to know that a 'woman,' would have that kind of affect on me. Maybe it's her smile...or her tomboyish nature, her short temper...maybe it's her unique personality. Or it could be her love and passion for music but not just any music....she's a classical violinist. I'm ashamed to even admit this but fuck...I always seem to get a goddamn boner whenever I watch or hear her play. How fucked up is that? I know for a fact, back in the day, every big-tittied girl I hooked up with was always the cause for my massive hard-ons. Now it's caused by something simple as music? That can't be normal...can it? I just can't help it though and soon or a later the guys are going to start questioning why I'm always making constant trips to the bathroom during Kels's recording time.

I guess it's an added bonus that even though she is a sophisticated classical musician, she always has metal music blaring either through her ear phones or her car stereo. She's definitely one of a kind and one would never expect that from someone like her, but I still can't help but feel that I'm out of my league here. I recently have been giving off some obvious signs, unbeknownst to my knowledge when around her and I'm pretty sure the guys have been taking notice of my sudden change in behavior. I'm trying my best to keep it hidden because the last thing I need is them ragging on me and agitating the shit out of me. Jimmy and Brian especially, more so Brian, will annoy me to no end until they are able to squeeze every last bit of information out of me. Heh....I see now why Kelsey phases out constantly, it's really easy to get lost in your own thoughts.

“Zack! Come on, both you and Brian are needed for back up vocals over here, I'm not gonna to tell you again.” Matt's repetitive nagging causes me to jump slightly and turn my attention towards him. I give him a quick nod in response, knowing that anything that comes out of my mouth will most likely set him off, but end up rolling my eyes once I have my back to him.

“Yea you can talk to your 'girlfriend' later.” I hear Brian comment as he walks past me to set down his guitar, his eyes glued to mine with a stupid smirk plastered on his face that I so badly want to slap off.

I flip him the bird letting it be known that I'm not bothered by his constant teasing, though I should know better. “Fuck off dude, it's not like that.”

Brian scoffs and shakes his head. He's known me long enough to figure out when I'm lying. “Pshh, bullshit. I see the way you look at her whenever the two of you are together, it's so fucking obvious.”

He bends over and lets out a hardy laugh to intentionally mock me. By this point, I start to feel the aggravation rise, but I refuse to let him goad me. I playfully roll my eyes at him and wave him off but my slight irritation manages to show through. “Whatever, keep thinking what you want, there's nothing going on, so just lay off already.”

I usually could give two shits when the guys get into my business concerning my love life, but I guess that's because the women I was involved with at the time didn't mean anything to me. It's like I want to keep my relationship with Kelsey to myself and not share it with anybody, not even my best friends, which in my case is very uncommon. But fuck....we're not even in that kind of relationship, I'm getting way ahead of myself here. For all I know she sees me only as a friend by the way she talks to me and the way she sometimes stares blankly at me makes me wonder if I come off as that intriguing to her or if she's mentally trying to melt my brain into mush, slowly killing me off so she can go back to napping. I really should work on my timing with her...the last thing I want is to piss her off, which can be very scary but cute at the same time. Brian catches me smiling again and I start to prepare myself for him to spit out more bullshit but somebody interrupts.

“Yo shitheads! You guys can continue your girly gossip some other time, we still gotta a lot of work to do. The faster we go at it, the sooner we will be done.” Leave it to Jimmy to always turn a hostile environment into comic relief. He's the only one out of us who has yet threatened to bash somebody's head in with a baseball bat. He's always saying 'life is too short to stay angry,' almost like a constant reminder, but right now I could care less about Jim's stupid motto.

“We would've been done by now if Brian would stop being a fucking perfectionist and just play through his solos once without stopping.” My voice is a bit raised now but I'm smart enough to lock away my rage to prevent an all out brawl from breaking out.

Brian throws his arms into the air and shoots me a look that obviously tells me he's no longer in a playful mood. “Look, do you want this album to sound perfect or mediocre....because I'm-”

“Guys! Enough with the damn bickering, let's just do this!” Matt cuts him off and I'm honestly relieved that he did. Matt is usually so laid back during recording sessions but I know once it gets towards the end of finalizing the album, his inner dictator comes out and he's a total asshat for the remainder of the production. Maybe he and Katherine should hook up, they seem to share the same interest in making people miserable. I honestly can't single him out though seeing how everybody is always on edge and at each others throats at this point. The lack of sleep doesn't help our attitudes either.

Fearful of even making the slightest bit of noise around 'grizzly bear Matt,' Brian and I quickly exchange the 'drop it and move on' look and then we both proceed to make our way over to the recording booth. Matt stood next to the console with his arms crossed all while staring at me and Brian. He then made circular motions with his right hand at us, then began snapping his fingers impatiently. Without flinching, we took that as a sign that he wanted us to pick up the damn pace, so we did. Brian entered the booth and I followed in behind him, shutting the door behind me. I took my place next to Brian where the the microphone and pop filter stood in front of us. The engineer gave us the bar countdown and soon we heard Matt's recorded voice singing the first verse of the track right before the entrance for our back up vocals.

“Nothing can take my mind away from them....”

I see Matt motion to the engineer sitting next to him to stop the track, then turns towards the window that we stood behind, leans down into the microphone and begins to waste no time in pointing out our errors and things we need to pay more attention to. It doesn't surprise me to hear Brian agree to every bit of criticism that Matt throws at us, it's usually the other way around. I wasn't fortunate enough to attain perfect pitch like Brian but I did have a good ear regardless. If Matt was already stopping the track this early in the song before even getting to the development section, then I can only assume I'm not going to be leaving this booth anytime soon. I sigh discreetly making sure I take in any mental notes and transfer them into my vocal parts so we can quickly move onto the next session. I briefly look at the clock hanging on the wall in the far back of the studio and became aware of the time. I can already tell this is going to be a long night.

~Later....~

“That was great guys...if you could just sing that last part before the key change once more, then it'll be perfect. The harmonization isn't coming out clear enough but make sure it doesn't over power the main melody line from the guitars. Zack you're just a tad bit flat, make sure you listen to Brian's top note so it will sound like a clean major third.” I hear Matt say for the umpteenth time.

It's only been about an hour since we started adding in back up vocals, but I fucking swear it feels like I've been in here for days. As I wait for them to start up the track once again, I take that small amount of time to sit my ass down since my legs and feet were killing me by this point from all the standing. I see Matt give us a hand gesture and I take that as a cue to stand back up and get ready to sing the simple harmonization with Brian. We get through it with no problems and I feel a wave of relief wash over me as I see Matt smiling and give us a two thumbs up. Brian and I both threw our hands into the air, surprising ourselves that we still had the energy to move around so enthusiastically. We both grinned at each other before I turned my attention back to Matt and gave him the prominent 'Zacky Vengeance' pouty face.

“Are you finally done with us now Matt?” I turned back to Brian, my facial expression turned serious. “Cause as much as I love you to death Bri Bear, I don't think I can stay cooped up in this booth with your ass much longer.”

Brian looks over at me with that stupid ass grin of his again. “Oh come on Zacky baby, you know you want some of this right here.” I shoot him a disgusted look as he makes a pointing gesture down to his crotch. “Nobody can resist getting a piece of Synyster G.!”

He begins to move closer towards me, closing off the huge gap that was previously between the two of us. I take notice, give him a 'WTF are you doing' look and try to back up away from him but he ends up trapping me in a far corner. I curse out loud when I feel my back come in contact with the wall behind me and I catch Brian smirk devilishly at me. Knowing full well what was coming next, I tried to push past him but he got a hold of me and spun me around so that his chest was firmly pressed against my back, he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and picked me up.

“Brian! You dick, put me the fuck down! Get off of me!” I shouted while wildly kicking my feet from under me like a child throwing a temper tantrum. My pleas were obviously being ignored seeing how everyone in the studio were laughing their asses off.

“What was that Zack? You want me to get you off?? Hmmm, I don't think I'm ready to take our relationship that far yet babe.” He whispered into my ear making me cringe and I began to swing my legs back and forth more violently this time, purposely aiming for his crotch.

Brian could sense my anger rise again so to prevent another argument from ensuing, he willingly let go of me, causing me to stagger forward a bit. Without looking back at him, I quickly reached for the doorknob, fumbling while trying to turn it, swung the door open and stormed out of the booth.

The studio was still filling up with laughter but I could here Brian's high pitched cackle over everyone else's. “I love you Zeeeeeee!!”

I stop in my tracks, turn around to find him sprawled out on the floor, arms clutching at his sides to mask the pain the laughter was causing him. I shake my head, while looking down at him in disbelief. I'm so worked up that I can't come up with anything clever to say so I decide flipping him off will have to suffice.

I'm not pissed off, just highly annoyed and exhausted. It must be the cabin fever again because the guys have officially lost their fucking marbles. “Are you mentally disturbed?! I was perfectly content with my ass never having to come in contact with your fucking dick.”

Brian's laughter began to subside and he slowly sat up, while taking in deep breaths, but still remained on the floor, his legs now Indian style. He shot me his signature synyster smile and looked up at me flirtatiously. “Oh don't try and deny it Zacky, you know you love it.” Then he added a quick wink at the end.

I scoff at him and flail my hands up in the air accepting my defeat before walking away, leaving my dignity behind me. Although the tension in the studio from earlier has dissipated and has now been replaced with fits of laughter and amusement, it's all on my own expense. What ever happened to Johnny always being the butt of every joke? Part of me is almost relieved that Kelsey didn't end up staying after all. The last thing I need is for her to start questioning my sexuality.

“Well, at least we clearly know who the 'bitch' in the relationship would be.” Matt HAD to put in his two cents.

I glare over at him. “You know what Matt-”

“Guys... come on, no more fighting. Let's all gather around for a group hug, whaddya say?” Johnny suddenly intervenes but in a way that causes all of us to look over at him in bewilderment. He continues to stand there with his arms literally spread out, making things look even more awkward.

Jimmy nervously rubs the back of his neck, then breaks the silence in the room. “Jesus John boy, I think the lack of sleep has finally caught up to you. That or you've been sniffing some really fucked up shit...and if that's the case...don't be fuckin' greedy, hand it over motherfucker!”

Jimmy then takes a few strides over towards Johnny (which doesn't take much as being tall is an advantage for him), while speaking mid-sentence. Once he realizes Johnny steps away, Jimmy suddenly quickens his pace and ends up chasing the small bassist around the control room like two kids on a playground. Laughter starts to build up again as we witness Jimmy shout towards Johnny, demanding that he share his stash. Johnny continues to try and keep his distance from the hyperactive drummer while repeatedly trying to convince him that 'there is no fucking stash!' By now I've become more relaxed and I shake my head in amusement when Jimmy ends up tackling Johnny to the ground and begins to body search him.

“Dude! Stop fuckin' feeling me up, I already told you I don't fucking have anything on me!” Johnny was kicking and screaming trying to force the Rev off of him.

Jimmy eventually gives up, climbs off of Johnny and looks down at him with a pouty look on his face. “You're no fun John-John.”

Johnny stands up, lightly dusts himself off, then shudders after realizing what had just happened. “I feel so...violated...”

“Doesn't feel too good getting the short end of the stick now, does it?” I smirk evilly.

“Shit dude, I was honestly just trying to savor the moment by suggesting a group hug.” Johnny again opens his arms up in front of me and grins idiotically while wiggling his eyebrows. Now he's just mocking me.

I quickly raise my hands up in defense, slowly backing away. “Fuck no.... no more 'manly love.' What's next? A goddamn 'Kum Ba Yah' sing along? Fuck that shit.”

I chuckle to myself as I dig around in my back pocket for my pack of cigarettes. As I grab a hold of them I ask Matt, “Hey man do you need me for anything specific right now? I'm going out back for a quick smoke.”

Matt shakes his head no, letting me know that I won't be needed for a while and then smiles as he pats me on the back. I return the smile and pull out a cigarette from the pack, flip it into the air and successfully catch it between my lips. I begin to head for the back entrance and as soon as I open the door, a light breeze from the cool night air brushes against my body causing me to tremble a bit. I look back and see my purple hoodie sweatshirt laying haphazardly on top of the small table behind me and waste no time in snatching it up. I slip it on, leaving it unzipped, open the back door once again and step out, making an immediate right turn.

I made my way over towards the group of table and chairs that were set up neatly facing the highway. I plopped myself down in one of the vacant white chairs, crossed my legs so that my right ankle was resting atop my left knee and then pulled the top of my hoodie over my head. I reached in my side pocket for my lighter, pulled it out, flipped it open and lit the end of my cancer stick making sure my left hand shielded the flame so the wind wouldn't blow it out. I took a long drag, inhaling the cool menthol slowly before tilting my head back and releasing the smoke through my nostrils. My eyes close as the slight buzz from the nicotine instantly relaxes me and I can feel all the stress that has built up over the past couple of weeks drain from my body.

I slowly open my eyes and notice the clear blue night sky above me. There wasn't a cloud in sight, all I could see were the stars shining brightly and I knew that could only mean a storm was headed our way. It's noticeably tranquil outside but every so often I start to hear the low rumble of cars on the highway quickly speed by, then slowly descend into silence once again. The relaxed, elegant atmosphere adds to the feeling of serenity around me and at that moment I can't help but think about Kelsey again. I just can't seem to get her out of my fucking head.

Notes

A/N: Chapter 6 is up with Zack's P.O.V. I hope y'all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, I had fun with it!
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