Come Back to Me

Ah the sweet sound of Dvorak's string quartet No. 10 in E flat major. The rhythms and harmony eventually reveal the close connections with the spirit of folk music in a stylized form. The soft flowy opening of the 1st movement is supposed to come off sounding calm and airy as if you are watching the sun arise over the horizon....however in reality our sound is nowhere near the goal we are reaching for. It's more like nails being dragged across a chalkboard....according to Katherine.

“Come on guys focus!!” Katherine's obvious irate mood has not faded since we first arrived here at the concert hall. We were all temperamental by the end of the day and it wasn't because we couldn't get through the first movement....rather it had to do with a certain anal retentive violist. The rest of us groan lightly but I make mine a bit more prominent and slide down my chair until the back of my neck is resting on the back end of my chair. I lean my head back further so my eyes are forced to stare up at the vaulted ceiling.

After letting out a frustrated sigh, Katherine runs a hand through her chocolate colored tresses, on the verge of pulling it all out and pivots her attention back to her music. “Again from measure 35 where Kelsey and Mina have those octaves-”

“Katherine.....” I rudely interrupt her, my eyes still focused on the ceiling and my body still the same position as before, “we've been working on the same piece since we first got here at 4:30pm. It is now....” I lift up my head and quickly glance at the imaginary watch on my wrist just to be a smartass; I had checked the time on my phone minutes before Katherine had stopped us, “6:45pm. That's almost 2 and a half hours!” I spat as I jolted up in my chair, clearly at my breaking point now.

Katherine momentarily glances over at me but continues to speak ignoring my successful attempt at simple math skills. “This is the last time we will run through it-”

“That's what you said an hour ago!” I snap at her again, my voice louder than before that I hear it echo throughout the entire empty auditorium.

She glares at me this time and I can tell she is holding back her anger by the look on her face that she can't tolerate my immaturity anymore. “Stop cutting me off Kelsey. This is the last run through, I promise this time....and then we can move on to the Shostakovitch.”

My eyes grew wide with shock. “What?! No...no way, I'm done. You gotta be out of your damn mind if you think I'm going to stay here longer than I need to. You guys are more than welcome to rehearse till the sun comes up but I'm heading home and going to bed before I lose my sanity.” I don't hesitate to stand up from my chair, grab my music and boldly hop off the edge of the stage, heading towards the front row of folded audience chairs where my violin case sat. I could care less at this point if I get yelled at again, my brain was fried from all the constant thinking and concentration.

Katherine pinches the bridge of her nose and lets out an aggravated sigh. She must be tired too because she would've been all up on my ass by now, but I do hear her trying to speak calmly. “Look, we are performing in less than 3 weeks. We're not just playing for friends and family anymore. It's gotten to the point where our audience has grown into a more professional and sophisticated category of people. There are going to be music critics and producers there watching our every move and I highly doubt you guys want to be made a fool of in front of hundreds of people. We all agreed that once we got out of college, we wanted to do this for a living and the only way to reach the top is to keep advancing our skill level and practice until our fingers go numb.”

Mina stretches out her arms earning a loud crack from her left shoulder where her violin had lied the entire time during rehearsal. “I have to agree with Kelsey...my bow arm feels so heavy I can barely lift it anymore. What's the point in practicing if we are physically exhausted? We'll just start making simple mistakes and then we won't be able to get anything productive done.”

There was a moment of silence until Grace decides to chime in, “we should just call it a night Katherine, we have a few more weeks to rehearse. Ending rehearsal an hour early isn't going to damage us. However, you might damage Kelsey and Mina if you keep having them run through those octaves. If you keep pressing it, the intonation is only going to get worse, you know that. ” My eyebrows raise in slight astonishment to hear that for the first time Mina and Grace are actually on my side. They're either usually 100% in agreement with Katherine or too intimidated and afraid to go against her.

Katherine throws her hand up in defeat, coming to the realization that maybe a break should be in order, but she obviously doesn't want any signs of weakness to show through. “Seriously? You too Grace? I feel so betrayed....well since I'm obviously out numbered here then there's no reason to try and argue, but that just means we will have to work even harder tomorrow.”

I groaned softly to myself knowing full well that when Katherine states 'we will work even harder' I know she's not fucking around. But right now I didn't give a shit, all I cared about was getting home and burying my face into my pillow until I passed out.

“Come on Mina, let's go before she changes her mind. I hear my bed calling me.” I quickly pack up my violin and music as does Mina. Katherine was notoriously known for changing her mind last minute and I was determined to make sure she didn't have any opportunity to do so this time. Mina and I both said our goodbyes to Grace and Katherine, who were still taking their time packing up while at the same time conversing over something, most likely music related. They waved goodbye to us before letting us know one of them would text/call us tomorrow about meeting and picking up from where we last left off.

Once we got outside, I felt the cool air hit my face, instantly giving me goosebumps. I briskly wrap my arms around my torso grasping onto the last bit of body heat I have, trying to prevent it from seeping out through my clothes. This damn weather, I guess I should've brought a heavier jacket with me today. I start to walk faster towards the back parking lot where I left my car causing Mina to pick up her pace a bit.

“Are you that eager to go to bed?” She asks with slight amusement in her voice.

“No, I'm freezing my ass off out here.” I get to the car, unlock it, place my violin in the back seat carefully and then run over to the driver's seat, hop in, immediately reaching over to start up the engine. I wasn't patient enough to wait for the engine to warm up first so without hesitation, I cranked up the heat to 77 degrees.

Thinking I was going to leave without her, Mina promptly got into the passenger's seat and shot me a playful glare. “Shit, Kelsey it's only like 65 degrees outside. I know this isn't our hometown but we've been living here long enough for you to get used to the weather by now.”

I sit there, hunched over, my arms still wrapped around me as I stare down the temperature gauge on the dashboard. I try to convince myself that if I stare at it long enough, it will eventually start to move. My right leg had been subconsciously fidgeting, bouncing up and down at a high rate of speed in a psycho-motor like movement displaying my agitation. “And you should know me well enough by now that I can't survive unless it's near 80 degrees.”

I hear her giggle a bit to herself before looking back over to me. “God, I swear you were born cold-blooded....that or you're half reptile.”

I playfully roll my eyes back at her as my response and as I notice the temperature gauge has risen a bit, I shift the gear into reverse, back out of the parking space and head out into traffic. We don't live very far from the concert hall and we usually just walk since it's only a couple blocks, plus it saves gas, but I refused to walk in this chilly weather. About 10 minutes later our apartment comes into view and I pull into the side parking lot. Both Mina and I shared an apartment together in a nice area close to town. We figured it would be cheaper and save us money to split up rent and utilities in addition to be able to live with one another since we are practically family.

Even though we were slowly climbing our way to the top to fame, we still had a long way to go to make it as professional musicians. It doesn't help that musicians are placed at the bottom of the career ladder and the pay is extremely low. You either start at the top or the bottom, there is no middle and to be at the top you either have to have 'connections' with people in the industry or be born a protegee. We are unfortunately still near the bottom, barely grazing that mid point, but we're moving nonetheless, it just takes time. Even though we all had our Master's Degree, people will look at the talent not the education unfortunately. We could all have just a high school degree, it doesn't matter, as long as we knew how to play....or some how carried a piece of DNA that belonged to Jascha Heifetz.

After searching for a close parking space, I successfully found one just outside our apartment window. I turned off the car, we both got out and retrieved our instruments from the back seat and headed up the stairs to the second floor where we lived. Once we got inside, I started to make a straight beeline towards my bedroom but stopped midway once I heard Mina's voice.

“Aren't you going to eat dinner before turning in for the night? We still have left over SoonDuBu soup from yesterday.” She walked into the kitchen, headed over to the fridge and took out the plastic container containing the Korean food.

I turn my attention towards her and come up with a short and simple answer. One that will hopefully not make her want to extend this conversation till midnight. “No, I'm too tired to eat, I'm heading straight to bed. I want to catch up on some sleep.”

Her face drops, showing genuine concern for my well-being but at the same time folds her arms tightly across her chest and starts lecturing and scolding me like she's my mother. “You're starting to worry me again unni, you haven't eaten a lot lately. You need brain food to keep up your strength or you really won't be able to perform well.”

I huff out loud to show my annoyance but hold back some of my aggravation. I loved Mina but she was getting on my last nerve today with her constant nagging. “I AM eating Mina, but you know I can't eat when I'm exhausted and stressed out from working non stop. If anything I won't be able to perform if I don't get plenty of rest. Would you rather hear my stomach growl every so often on stage or risk having me pass out on stage from fatigue and lack of sleep? Although honestly I'm pretty sure y'all would just continue playing while I lay motionless center stage.”

She rolls her eyes at me and I know it's because she thinks I'm being overtly dramatic. Her eyebrows then crease together as she stares at me intently trying her best to read my face. She unfortunately knows me like a book. “This doesn't have anything to do with Zack does it?”

I curse her out mentally but refuse to back down and give into her. “What?? How is that even relevant to anything we were just talking about?”

Her arms then uncross and her hands move upwards, now placed rigidly on top of her hips. She cocks her head to the side, clicking her tongue at me as if I should know better. “Come on, don't play dumb with me. There's nobody else around, it's just the two of us now, so don't even think about lying to me this time. Something involving Zack has got you bothered. I know...I'm very observant.”

I roll my eyes at her and groan out loud like a little kid. I keep eyeing my bedroom door desperately. I'm only a few feet away. I wonder if I should make a run for it and lock the door behind me before she can even get to me, but unfortunately I'm not 'that' big of a bitch. “No, you're just very intrusive. It has nothing to do with him. Trust me, you know you're the first person I go to when I'm having problems involving men.”

She's obviously not buying my bullshit story and begins to press further. “I don't know, I still have this feeling you're not telling me something and I don't care what you say....I know it involves Zack, you've been hanging out with him a lot lately.”

“I could say the same thing about you and Brian...” I quickly retort back.

Her eyes bug out and her face turns pale as if I just caught her trying to steal a cookie from the cookie jar. “What?! Wh-what the hell are you talking about?! I'm not-”

“Come on, don't play dumb with me...” I childishly imitate her while giving her a smug look on my face knowing she won't be able to come back with an immediate response.

Feeling defeated, she finally let's it go. “Touché. Go to bed, we'll talk about this later.”

I don't say anything in fear she might hit me back with something resulting in wasting more of my sleepy time. I walk away feeling triumphant and get through my bedroom door and shut it behind me, all the while feeling Mina's eyes burn in the back of my head. She's just pissed because I gave her a taste of her own medicine. I never would've guessed she and Brian possibly had a thing going on between them but I was honestly not surprised. At least I'm not annoying the shit out of her by pressing her with personal questions about her love life. Yes it's true we do have talks about men and whatnot but I'd prefer it be in a more discreet way in the sense that when either one of us is ready to talk about our romantic relationships then we will let one or the other know. Not blatantly discuss it out in the open where possible said significant other is within ear shot.

I come out of my thoughts and my eyes quickly move to the middle of the room, making my bed the main focal point. I don't even take the time to get undressed or bother to wash my face because I am THAT exhausted. Without hesitation, I immediately make my way over, making sure I place my phone on the nightstand first, then turn off my light. I move to the edge of the bed, and let my body fall flat onto the mattress, my face making contact with my cool, squishy pillow. My body instantly goes limp from the comfiness of the bed and as I shut my eyes a smile spreads across my face and I let out a long satisfying sigh. Of course as soon as I finish exhaling, I hear my phone beep multiple times and I can't help but curse out loud and it wouldn't surprise me if Mina had heard me from the kitchen. I open my eyes, lift my head and give my pillow a swift punch, leaving a noticeable dip in it from the memory foam. I just can't ever get a break can I?

I groan slightly as I lift myself up from the mattress, my arms shaking from tiredness, trying to hold up my body weight. I grab my phone from the nightstand, glance at it and see that I have a text message from Zack. My mood briefly switches over to contentment but at the same time I'm a bit annoyed that he disturbed my sleep.....for the second time today might I add. I knew I had to respond back because if I didn't he would just keep texting me and then eventually call me incessantly until I pick up. He's not obsessive or anything, he's just always been a worrier much like me and he does this to everybody. I unlock my phone and tap the 'new message' icon that's blinking on the home screen, causing it to open and smile softly when I read it.

Zack: Hey you :) Had a few minutes and thought I'd check on you, make sure you're still alive :P

Me: Just got home from rehearsal, we ended a bit early, guess all my bitching paid off this time.

Zack: Lucky you. We're still at the studio, probably gonna pull an all nighter again, no thanks to Brian. But at least the album is almost finished.

Me: I don't know how you do it...I'm so worn out...

Zack: Haha, I guess I'm just that good. Anyway, gotta go, Matt's yelling for me. Go sleep!

I can't help but smile to myself again. I don't think I could ever really be mad at Zack for anything, his friendly actions and addictive smile could brighten up anyone's day. I did enjoy receiving messages from him, it showed me that he cared....but cared in what way? I shook my head and pressed the far right button on the side of my phone, causing the screen to shut off, locking it in place and placed it back on my nightstand. I'll brood over this tomorrow, as of right now sleep was at the top of my to-do list.

Notes

A/N: Chapter 5 up and I hope it's still keeping up your interest. I know people don't like hearing this but please don't be a silent reader, I love feedback.

(Note: SoonDuBu is a tofu, and sometimes spicy, soup/stew)

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