Hush, be careful of what you say

Arin POV

“You. You are the fucking problem!” Brian yells at me as I try my best to get loose from Zacky’s grip.
All of us are a bit drunk, including myself. And when I’m a tad drunk, well, don’t argue with me, and hell don’t try to start a fight with me. I might look as this sweet and innocent guy, but that shows that you don’t know me.
The night was going well and we were having fun. And I even thought that Brian had moved past the new-member-and-shit stuff. Well, I was wrong, cos apparently he’s still not eager to welcome me to the band.

“Well I’m sorry if apparently I’m seen as a pain in the ass for you” I reply back.
“You’re so full of yourself!” Brian yells back.
“What the fuck made you think that? What did I do?” I ask him in protest.
“I just know it, and buddy, I’m never wrong!” he says in a proud voice. What a douchebag!
“I’m sorry to break it to you, but your band-mates and manager loved the idea of having me in the band. I’m not going to let you spoil the party. I’m not gonna quit no matter what. So suck it!” I reply in an instant, making the sucking gesture. This flipped him over and got loose of Matt’s grip and came at me. I don’t know for what reason but Zacky pushed me aside and went to stop Brian.

“Just back off Brian!” Zacky shouted at him, grabbing him from the collar of his shirt.
“Move away Zacky, get out of my way! I’m not in the mood for one of your lectures!” Brian yells, not looking at Zacky but looking straight at me.
I get up from the floor and got straightened up, waiting for the next move that Brian is going to do.
“Lectures my ass. I told you back off!” Zacky yells again.
I see Matt coming after Brian and in one twist he turns Brian around to face him.
“Arin, can you leave us for a second please? I think the rest of us need to talk and settle this!” Matt says, still staring in Brian’s eyes as he was doing the same.
I nod as I take the cold packet of peas from Johnny’s hand and put it on my cheek. Fuck, this hurts!
In an instant I got out of the room, giving them a little bit of privacy.

I knew from the beginning that Brian wasn’t so pleased of having me around, even the way he was acting during my audition. But I never thought he was this angry.
Was it because he was drunk and everything escalated?
Or was it because he was drunk and he was showing what he was truly feeling on the inside?
That’s up to him to know. Me, on the other hand, am looking at my reflection in the mirror, seeing the bruise already forming.
Fucking perfect!

All of a sudden I hear a lot of commotion coming from the kitchen. Was that a bottle being smashed?
Quickly and quietly I run towards the kitchen. I do not enter the room, I just stand by the side making sure that they do not see me.

“Brian, where the hell is all of this coming from?” Johnny asks him, looking like he sobered up already. I don’t blame him, lots of shit went down.
“Yeah, cos I cannot fucking understand!” Zacky says as I notice him picking up the shattered glass from the floor.
“Sometime I wonder if you truly know me or not” Brian says as he looks away with them, facing the wall.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Matt asks him, not happy with the remark that Brian just said.
“I’ve been keeping this inside of me for so, so long. Too fucking long. And now you’re acting like dickheads towards me because I threw a punch at him” Brian explains himself, turning towards Matt.
“Because he doesn’t fucking deserve all the shit you’re giving him, that’s why!” Matt yells. “What the fuck did Arin do to you? Nothing! You even didn’t give him a reason for why you hate him, which clearly shows that you’re being a truly pain in the ass for nothing!”
“Oh no, not for nothing!!” Brian says as he points his finger at Matt. Right now Matt is not looking pleased, not one bit. “I wasn’t prepared to having Arin added to the band!”

Everyone in the room is staring at Brian, looking all surprised.
“I don’t think that the problem is that you weren’t prepared for Arin being part of the band. I think you aren’t prepared for anyone to join the band” Zacky softly says.
“Well I’m sorry for breaking this down to you but no, I’m not prepared for anyone else to join the band. I’m not prepared to go to a show and when I look at the back or when I go to grab my beer I’m not going to see Jimmy. I’m not prepared to have someone else as part of our rituals before each and every show” Brian says in one breath, making me feel sorry for him. He clearly still misses his band-mate and best friend.
“And you think that you’re alone feeling like that?! Hell no. it’s a risk and it might not work. Sure, it’s going to hurt not to have Jimmy with us and the shows but what can we do Brian? We need to live our lives, make the most out of them! We need to continue the legacy that Jimmy had started long time ago in Matt’s garage, to make him feel proud of us! And to do that, we need to include someone else and be a drummer. We need to include Arin with us and make him feel as he’s part of the family” Johnny explains to Brian.

Enough is enough! I have heard enough tonight. I’m already feeling bad at myself for eavesdropping on them, so I decide to call it a night.
I knock on the kitchen door and all of them look up to face me, including Brian.
“Guys, I think I’m going to call it a night. Thanks Matt for inviting me over and for the party. I do appreciate it, honestly.”
“How is your cheek?” Johnny asks me.
“It’s fine. I’ve had worse anyway!” I say as I put the packet of peas on the counter.
“You, Arin, have been in fists fights before?” Matt chuckles.
“Yeah. Hard to believe huh? I know!” I tell them as they start to chuckle, apart from Brian who is looking gloomy at me.
“Anyways, have a good night! And thanks again!” I say as I head out of the room.

As I’m about to open the door, I hear “Arin wait!” from him.
“Yeah?!”
“I’m sorry for how everything got into shit tonight. I don’t know if you understand or not” Matt says, looking sorry.
“I do understand Matt, don’t worry really. You need to settle this between the four of you first. It’s a big step, hell it’s a milestone! So be sure to settle everything and then contact me again or whatever! I’m not going anywhere don’t worry” I tell him.
“Thanks Arin. You’re the best man! I will update you soon, be sure of that” he says as I get out of his house.

As I head into my car, I stop for a while. I know I told Brian that nothing will get me to quit the band. But after hearing everything I don’t know how to feel. All of them are still mourning the death of a loved one, especially Brian. He has a motive for his hate towards me, and even though he had treated me like shit, I don’t fully blame him. He is hurting the most, and having someone else in the band was the spark for the explosion.
What should I do? Should I quit to avoid any more fights and arguments? But if I do, how will the others react to that? Will they be disappointed in me, thinking that I wasn’t true to my word?
Fuck, I need a good sleep, a really long one!

Notes

Well, Brian is opening up even more, saying how he's feeling about this band issue! And Arin, well he's feeling conflicted! :/
What should he do? What about the band members? Will Brian come around anytime soon?

Hope you'll like it! :D
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