Sam’s POV

I didn’t know how long I could keep this up… I couldn’t be far enough away from him and then again I felt the need to be close to him. How could I tell him that I didn’t have any feelings for him. How couldn’t I tell him just how much he came to mean to me?!

But still, I had no other chance then to lie to him, to tell him that he meant nothing to me.
I had to break his heart… but would I break his heart at all?
Was he in love with me?
Would that make any difference?

Tomorrow was Brian’s last day, that’s all I knew.
But what would happen if Brian wouldn’t talk to me? What if he didn’t have those feelings?
Would he return to the book without any chance of being free again?

I sighed loudly and Brian’s head snapped up, his eyes boring into mine. He had been super aware of me and any sounds I made, maybe he was trying to wager my mood. I felt so bad to be distanced to him, but how could I try to be closer when I had to break his heart in the end, that would make it only harder for the both of us, right?

“Sam?” Brian’s voice sounded soft and I finally met his eyes. Maybe I should just try to encourage him to talk to me, so we would get this finally over with.
He would be free, but he would hate me… but at least he would be free and I would need time to heal my wounds, if that would be possible, that is.

Would I recover from this?
The more I thought about the time Brian and I had spend together, the feelings I had developed the surer I got was that I loved this man.
I fell for him, probably right away. I didn’t want to admit it back then but honestly, he had been perfect and now I had to break his and my heart in the progress.

Break our hearts to set him free, that was the slogan for this and I hated it. Hated the woman who made him suffer like this, he couldn’t be such a bad person that he deserved any of this, no one deserved this.

And she didn’t only make Brian suffer, but all his friends and family with him… and me.
But I would take it, gladly if Brian could have his life back. He had his friends to catch him, his amazing friends…

And I had.. Selena, if she decided to come home with me. I wasn’t too sure about that anymore.
I could already picture her fitting into this little group together with Matt, but I… I didn’t fit, not after I broke his heart…

“Sam? Did you hear me?” Brian asked and he stood suddenly next to me.
“I-I.. no I am sorry. I was lost in thoughts.” I told him honestly and he nodded, then he kneeled down beside me.

He opened his mouth then closed it again as if he wasn’t sure if he should say it or not.
I was debating with myself too, should I push him away again or get him closer so it would be easier for him to say?

“Do you want to go for a walk?” He asked and his fingers stroked a strand of my hair of my face.
I nodded, my speech had left me, how should I tell him I didn’t feel anything for him, if even now my heart was pounding so hard just from this little touch, would he even believe me?

“Then let’s go… I can’t stand this room anymore. I can’t stand the silence… please talk to me, Sammy.” Brian whispered and I tried not to cry, not to break down even before everything started.

We went outside, the sun was setting over the ocean and Brian led me along a small path away from our hotel to a beach nearby. I didn’t know how he knew this path but I just went with him.
He stopped just before the water and we looked into the sun that was slowly sinking down just before our eyes, the huge fireball was taking the light with it, leaving us more and more in the darkness.

“Sam, I have to tell you something. I planned to do this differently… I planned to do this on our date, to have the perfect setting, the perfect strategy to do this but… that didn’t work out and I realized that its not necessary anyway. No matter how beautiful the setting is, no matter how perfect everything is planned, will not change what I have to say.” Brian stepped forward, he took my hands in his and made me look at him.

“Those past weeks, had been the best weeks in my life” I opened my mouth wanting to reply, but knew I really couldn’t and apparently Brian didn’t want me to anyway “Ssshh, don’t say anything just yet, babe. I want to get this all out, afterwards it’s your turn. But let me tell you all I want and then I will close my mouth shut.” He smiled and I could only reply with a nod.

His fingers were a little sweaty and I knew this was hard for him, and I wished I wished so bad I could change what was to come, but I couldn’t.
He swallowed thickly and then met my eyes again, giving me another smile.
“When I first walked into your living room, I never could have imagined finding this. I never in my wildest dreams could think of this, Sam. I thought ‘not another woman I had to stay with, not another one that didn’t care about me and about the fact that I was suffering…’ I was used to being handled as some kind of appendage but not as a human being. But I am, flesh and blood, I have feelings, I have likes and dislike… but they didn’t care… and then there was you. Beautiful, caring and intelligent Sam.” He stroked my cheek lovingly and I swallowed against the lump in my throat.

“You brought me back to the here and now, you brought me back to life, and I mean that for real, Sam. You gave me memories, you gave me hope… I didn’t want to hope anymore, you know why?” He asked and waited for my answer now “No” I could only quietly reply, my voice would give in any moment, and all those words that he had already spoken were too much for me, I didn’t want to push him away, how could I?

“No?” He chuckled “Hope, meant it would I would only get disappointed, but with you, I wanted to hope, I had a dream again. A dream to go back home, to find out what was wrong with me, why all this happened to me… and with your help I regained more and more of my old life, and I never had that before, babe. You triggered my memories, I haven’t told you this before, but whenever we had sex and I had strong emotions involved I saw things of my past. That was when they came to me, when I made love to you, when you made me whole again, Sam.” Brian said and I gasped, he hasn’t told me that before.

Brian took another step forward, pulling me into his arm his mouth was on my ear now and he kept on whispering. “I don’t know much from my old life, only the few small things you gave me, but what I do know for certain is, that never in all my life, have I felt this good with a woman, never in my life have I felt such strong emotions as I feel for you. Never in my life have I been so afraid that I had to leave, that I wouldn’t see her again, as I am with you… This could be our last night, and tomorrow I could already be gone… That’s why I am telling you all this, maybe I won’t ever see you again, Sam. And I am scared shitless… I can’t stand the thought of never being near you again, of never holding you like this…” Brian kept on whispering “Ssshh, don’t cry Sammy. Don’t, you break my heart” He spoke so soft that I really had to concentrate to hear him and that’s when I realized that tears were running down my cheeks now.

He talked about heartbreak from my tears, but my heart was already in pieces now…

“What I am trying to say with all this is… Sam, I love you from the bottom of my heart. I tried not to, I even didn’t want to, cause I was afraid that if I did I had to leave you in the end anyway but, god, look at you… how could I not fall for you? I love you, Sam.”

Notes

Comments!!

Ohh no... I know you are not happy with this are you?
How will Sam react?
How should she react?

Next Update beginning of next week!
Wishing u all a great weekend!