I Wish I Could be the One

How did shit get so fucked up? I had two guys that I was head over heels for now I was sitting in my room alone. Unless you counted Jimmy and Zacky alternating shifts being with me. Zacky was under the impression that I shouldn't be allowed to see Brian or Johnny. I didn't understand why exactly other than Zacky being dramatic right? I preferred when jimmy would stay with me. He would actually try to understand what was happening and how I was feeling. Or if I didn't want to talk about it we would go about everything normal watching Netflix or taking naps. But Zacky no. Zacky would stare at me with this "what do you have to say for yourself?" Look or an occasional "well we may as well not even have a band!!" Look. I wish he would stay out of my love life. Well my lack there of one now... But still I couldn't get Johnnys words out of my mind. I loved him. And he loved me too. I couldn't wait for Monday to come around to go to Latin. Everything had happened so fast I forgot that it was only mid Sunday. I kept this to myself for fear that Zacky would come up with some way to sit in there too. I knew Jimmy was harmless.
Knock knock
"Zack?" Jimmy said
Knock knock
"Jimmy let me in"
I sat up straight instantly recognizing his voice
"Look man I would but captains orders" Jimmy said
"When are you going to stop letting zack tell you what to do?" Brian said through the door
"Hey now I'm just trying to be a good friend to Kat and Zack" Jimmy replied
"Do you think you're being a good friend to Kat? I know she wants to see me" Brian said overly confident.
"Well then it's up to me lady...Kat?" Jimmy said to me
I nodded in approval knowing Zacky was going to come back and this may be my only chance to see Brian.
"Alright but I'm not taking the fall for this" Jimmy said
Brian stepped in looking at me. And I quickly realized what really happened and it all seem to sink in at once. He had a black eye, his lip had been busted, he look tired. His knuckles looked swollen. He looked broken. But why broken? Wasn't it him that crushed Johnny? Was it Brian that hit me...?
I changed my mind I didn't want him in here....I didn't know what I wanted?
"Kat, I'm I'm so sorry" he said to me walking closer to my bed.
"For what." I said harshly because I wanted to know was it him that hit me or Johnny?
"For everything. For pushing you to that point. For making you try and choose. For ya know?" He said
"No I don't know Brian." Because i really didn't know.
"Look Kat I'm sorry okay? What else do you want me to say?!" He said raising his voice
"What do you want me to say?" I replied
"Look I'm not the only guilty one here Kat you didn't tell me you were still trying to get with Johnny. And then after the other day you stand there kissing him like nothing. So tell me who it's going to be. Me or him? You can't have us both. So pick" he said
I stared at him in disbelief
"That's not fair..." I said weakly.
"What's not fair Kat?! Johnny has been my best friend since long before you came around, and I got into a physical fight with him over you. And you can't fucking pick what you want! Is that what's not fair?!!?" Brian was yelling and pointing his finger at me
Knock knock
"Jimmy is me, Matt" he said from the door
I was in shock...I had drawn a wedge between two long time friends and didn't even realize it. I was stuck in my own selfish desires.
Jimmy walked over and let Matt in. He saw my scared and shocked face and looked around and set his eye on Brian. He threw him against my wall and I got out of my bed trying to pull Matt away from him.
"Matt stop please" i begged
"What the fuck are you doing in here" Matt said at Brian as he hand his forearm against his chest
"Dude the get hell of me what are you her knight in shining armor?" Brian replied
"Jimmy help me please!" I asked
Jimmy walked over
"Come on my dude, this isn't going to help anyone" Jimmy said pulling Brian away from Matt.
"Thanks Jimmy" Brian said brushing out his shirt with his palms
"Kat why is he in here? I thought we talked about this. He's not good for you" Matt said
"Oh so now there's a we? What is she into you too? Jeez Kat you can't even choose between two and you add another to the mix?" Brian scuffed and brushed his hand through his hair
"That was mean..." I said again weakly
"Dude lay the fuck off her" Matt said
"Yea Brian maybe you should cool down..." Jimmy said Looking Brian in the eye
Brian looked at jimmy and saw how serious he was. Brian looked at me and walked to the door with out another word.
He opened the door and said "just remember Kat, you don't even know him" and slammed the door shut.
I ran up to Jimmy overwhelmed and buried my face in his warm chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. "You're fine Kat, remember you're princess of catland" Jimmy said
I chuckled "thanks Jimmy. You're the best" I broke away from Jimmy and turned around and walked over to my bed.
"Well I think I'm going to go, I just came to check on you. But you're fine and I'm sure Zacky will be here soon," Matt said as he turned to leave
"Wait Matt..." I blurted out unsure of what I was doing. He turned back around.
"Stay...?" I asked
Matt looked at Jimmy.
"To be honest I've been wanting some pizza for the like last hour. You're fine right Kat?" Jimmy said
"Yea Jimmy thanks" I said
"Alright well this guy is going on his break" Jimmy said as he walked out the door
I gave a small weak smile still unsure why asked him to stay
"You okay?" He asked
"Yea I think so..I'm making it through.." I replied how was it that Matt could be so nice to me, and he barely knew me? and Brian and Johnny were opposite. They had known me much longer, and Johnny hadn't even tried to come talk to me...
"So..why did you want me to stay?" He said as he sat on my bed next to me.

Notes