MJ’s POV

“Can I get a Captain on the rocks, sweetheart?”

I blinked my watering eyes, not even comprehending what the person staring at me was saying. In all honesty, I didn’t even know how I was standing or how I had made it through an hour of my shift. My heart was still racing a mile a minute and it physically hurt to breath—this is what a broken heart must feel like. I couldn’t stop the well of tears that kept forming in my eyes from the thoughts I was trying desperately to avoid. All I could see were those brown eyes and that made it all the more worse.

“Miss? MISS?! Have you heard a fucking word I’ve said?”

I blinked and shook my head; only now comprehending that there was an irate customer in front of me.

“I’m-I’m sorry, what can I get you?” my voice shook as I wiped my eyes, not caring that my makeup must be running by now. God I felt like shit.

“A Captain on the rocks,” the biker guy said slowly, shaking his head at me like I was some idiot. Well, you feel like I do and deal with what I’m going through and you try and do your job. It’s not as easy as you think, jackass.

I nodded and flipped a glass on the counter and put ice in it in one swift motion. Without out even having to look, I grabbed the bottle of Captain from behind me and poured the man a double. It was the least I could do for having to put up with me today. “It’s on the house…” I gave the man a weak smile as I gently pushed him the drink.

“Tough night, sweetheart?” he asked, kicking back a big sip.

“You-you could say that,” I said with a shaky breath, those tears threatening me all over again. No, don’t think about it. Dice is going to take care of all of this—but what if she cant? What if Brian is done with me forever? I didn’t know what I would do because I felt like an entire piece of myself was missing. I know, I know, I haven’t even talked to him but obviously he didn’t want to do that. His silence and lack of a text confirmed my deepest fears.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I frantically shook my head as I choked back a sob. What the hell was I going to do? I was scaring away all the customers but I couldn’t fucking help myself. I feel so lost!

I turned around facing the liquor wall and put my face in my hand, letting the tears come freely for a minute. We weren’t exactly busy and I hoped no one was really paying attention right now. I just couldn’t keep them in anymore.

“MJ,” Oh, no, there’s Max telling me to pull myself together again. What was it the second or third time since I got here? I’m so going to get fired but I swear if he gives me that sympathetic smile one more time I’m done for. That will just push me over the edge and there would be no turning back. I will fucking lose it with the tears because if Max knows what’s going on, then everything is truly over.

“W-what?” I said in the best ‘normal’ voice I could muster. But lets be really, was he really going to buy it if he saw the tears still rolling down my face.

“Look, I’m gonna need you to pull whatever is going on together or else I’m going to have to send you home,” he said with a sigh. I whipped around shaking my head frantically, knowing that I would completely lose it he made me go home alone.

“No, I’ll-I’ll pull it together…I cant go home…please,” I begged, wiping away the tears that still stained my face.

Max ran his hands over his face and let out a light groan. “Okay, but this is your last chance, sweetheart.” I took in a shaky breath, and grabbed a shot glass, praying that that bitch Tequila would help me through the night. It numbed me slightly, but I was still struggling immensely.

The next thing I knew, Dice was walking behind the bar and I couldn’t help but launch myself at her. Finally, part of my salvation was here. She was one of two people that could help me calm down and the minute I touched her, my body started to relax. Though, I tensed right back up when she pushed me away and started to clean up my tear-stained face.

“Look, we don’t have time for the grand reunion. Why the hell do you look like shit?” She asked quickly, making another pass at the smudge mascara with her thumbs.

Why do I look like shit? Well, it may have something to do with I feel like complete garbage, I’m barely holding myself together to keep my job, my heart is breaking into a million pieces as we speak, and I have no recollection of what got me into this mess. Did that explain it enough?

“Be-because Bri—“

“I told you I’ll take care of it,” Dice took my face into her hands, her piercing green eyes meeting mine with a deep frown. “Everything’s okay, love.” Was that a reassuring smile? Well, it didn’t feel like everything was okay. I still feel like I was falling into a deep hole with no way out. Its’ not like Brian was here to at least let me explain myself to him. How could she say everything was okay?


“MJ? Baby?”

My heart skipped a beat at that oh-so familiar sound. Was that really him? I slowly pulled away from Dice, my eyes meeting those brown orbs, and launched myself over the bar top into his arms. The moment his arms wrapped around me and pulled me to the floor, I clung to his shirt, my nails digging into the fabric for dear life. I didn’t ever want to let him go and I didn’t care that he smelled like liquor, stale smoke, and a light dusting of his cologne. He pulled me tightly against him, rocking back and forth slightly.

“I’m-I’m sorry….I’m sorry….I’m sorry….” I kept crying into his chest, shaking my head and hating myself more and more. “I didn’t even know that I-I-I…

“Shh…It’s okay,” Brian’s breath tickled my ear as he laid kiss after kiss into my temple, his hands brushing down my hair. “Just relax…I’m here.” His voice calmed me as I inhaled his scent, though I was still crying.

“I’m sorry…I-I didn’t know it-it happened…I-I-I just found out to-today….I’m-I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into his chest, trying to get him to understand. “Pl-please don’t hate me…I-I wouldn’t d-do that! I-It must have been…the-the alcohol….I’m sorry!” I gripped his shirt tighter as he scooped me up into his arms. The next thing I knew I was sitting in the back room on the accounting desk with my head still in Brian’s chest.

“Hey,” Brian’s soft voice said, his fingers gently pulling my chin up to look at him. His eyes were full of concern and hurt, but his lips pulled up in that little smirked that I loved so much. “I’m here aren’t I? I can’t hate you too much, can I?” His fingers moved to wipe away my running mascara, though I had no idea how I still had any on at this point.

Though I didn’t have much time to think about it because seconds later Brian’s lips were pressed firmly against mine. God, I thought I was never going to kiss these lips again but boy was I glad I was wrong. I put my every emotion, ever apology, every ounce of my love for him into that kiss. The goosebumps spread like wildfire as his tongue delicately moved across my lower lip before dancing with mine. That’s not ever mentioning the crazy butterflies that erupted in my stomach. Hell, I couldn’t get enough of him, not now not ever. I was hook, line, and sinker for this guy and it was him or nothing—I knew that now.

When we finally broke apart, we pressed our foreheads together breathlessly. My eyes scanned his brown orbs, trying to read them, trying to understand what was going on in that head of his. I was usually very good at reading him but right now, I didn’t really know where I stood.

“You’re-you’re not mad at me?” I asked quietly, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. I didn’t want us to be over, but I also didn’t want there to be any other secrets between us. Not that I actually knew about this one until this morning.

Brian scoffed lightly, his calloused fingers tracing over my tattoos on my exposed shoulders. “Not anymore. I can never stay mad at you for too long,” he smiled down at me. “But I was…I was fucking pissed.” My eyes shot down into my lap with a frown.

“Brian I—“ I started, wanting to tell him everything and that I didn’t even remember it, not to mention that there was nothing between Zacky and I.

“Just tell me one thing,” he said, taking in a deep breath and pulling away from me. “Do you have feelings for him?” Brian’s jaw was tight as he looked down at the floor, pacing slightly.

“No, of course not!” I said, jumping down off the desk and grabbing his hand. “I don’t even remember that night because I had so much to drink. You know the only way that it could have happened is if I thought he was you,” I pleaded with him, his eyes turning on me fast. “I know, I shouldn’t be drinking if I can hold my liquor….but you were the one pouring me the drinks.”

“Oh, so now it’s all my fault!” Brian threw his hands up and pulled away from me again, pushing the chair over.

“That’s not what I mean!” I begged, stepping in front of him. “I just mean that I wish it never happened. I wish I had known what the hell I was doing and that I never hurt you. I hate myself for that and I’m going to have to live with this disgusting feeling the rest of my life. But I promise you that it will never happen again.” Tears were swimming in my eyes again as I looked at him, waiting for a response. “I love you, Brian…so much so…it fucking hurts sometimes…”

Brian was quiet for a few moments before took a step forward and grabbed me by the hips, pulling my body into his. “I-I don’t know what I would fucking do if… I-I couldn’t live without you,” he said softly. “So lets just forget all this shit and for the love of god stop texting Baker.”

I nodded, hugging myself into his chest. “He has never been anything more than a friend on my side…but he burned that bridge when he told me what happened this afternoon.”

“So you seriously didn’t know?” Was that a smile coming over his face? I shook my head at him and he laughed lightly. God, that sound was amazing. “Good. Fucking prick, serves him right.”

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips lightly to his. “But I could never in a million years forget you, even when I am drunk off my ass,” I teased, feeling his arms snake around my waist and slide down to my ass. “I knew from the moment we met that I couldn’t forget you.”

“Is that so?” He mused, giving my ass a light slap.

“Yeah,” I blushed madly, chewing my bottom lip. “What about you? Could you forget me?”

Brian leaned down and gave me a soft kiss, his fingers caressing my cheeks. “That’s not possible, Baby Doll,” he said with a smile. “You’re always stuck in my mind in one way or another, like a fucking tattoo.”

“Why is that?” I asked with a small smirk, though he didn’t need to say it for me know it. It was just nice to hear.

“Why what?” Oh, don’t play dumb, mister that’s my job.

“Why am I always on your mind?” I smirked at him with a raised brow, wrapping my arms around his neck. Brian smirked and shook his head as I bit my bottom lip.

“Because you’re too fucking cute for your own damn good,” Oh, so now he was laughing. He leaned down to kiss me but I stayed just millimeters away.

“And?” I gave him a knowing look before he tried to capture my lips again.

I leaned forward and pecked the corner of his lips, receiving a small-frustrated growl. “You little tease…” Brian smirked and let out a sigh. I raised my brow at him, waiting for him to say those words.

“And?”

“And I fucking love you, now come here!” The next thing I knew, I was pressed firmly against the wall with Brian’s hands roaming down my sides. I could feel his hard member pressing into my inner thigh, begging to be released. His lips trailed down my neck while light moans escaped my lips. It felt like ages since he had touched me like this and I couldn’t wait to feel that sweet, sweet release he always gave me. God, he was like a drug that I could overdose on without any fear. I wanted more of him, not able to get enough.

Brian’s lips crashed back into mine for a moment before he pulled away with a wicked smirk on his face. Without warning, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and headed out the door.

“Where are we going?” I asked, looking at the back of his head upside-down.

“Home,” he chuckled.

“But don’t I have to work?” I reached down and squeezed his ass just as we walked past a small party in the backroom.

“Nah, Dice will cover it,” He pointed at someone at the bar and seconds later my keys and purse were in his other hands, not minding the fact that I was still over his shoulder. “Besides, we’ve got two days to make up for because I fucking missed the shit out of you.”

“Thanks Dice!” I yelled before the door slammed behind me, the cool air meeting me before a set of lips as I was placed in the car.

“You better be well rested because you’re in for a long night, sweetheart.”

Notes