MJ’s POV

“You hurt me, Brian...” I whispered. Unable to control my emotions anymore, the tears started to roll freely down my face. I was literally crushed and my heart lay on the floor in a million pieces.

It wasn’t solely the missed dinner that caused tonight’s anger and frustration. Oh, it had been building for three weeks now. It killed me to watch him chase girl after girl right in front of my nose. Brian may have thought that he was cleaver and that I didn’t know what he was doing, but I wasn’t blind or stupid. I mean, how many nights did I wake up at dawn to feel him just crawling into bed next to me, smelling of sex and feminine perfume? Maybe I had turned the blind eye to his bullshit because I secretly hoped that the Brian I knew would return. He was so much better than this façade he was living and I knew that. But tonight’s broken promise really pushed me to my breaking point.

“You have no idea how much...” I shook my head at Brian, a sigh escaping his lips. How could I love and hate someone so much at the same time? Or maybe the better question was; how could Brian do this to me? I never thought him capable of hurting me so badly, but I guess he was full of surprises. Maybe I didn’t know him at all, though I knew that wasn’t true. Hell, I knew thing about him that his best friends didn’t, like how he always slept on his right side or that he had a lucky pair of boxers.

The next thing I knew, Brian hugged me into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. “I know, I never meant to tho...” His voice was so soft that I almost didn’t recognize it, his warm breath saturating the top of my head. I closed my eyes into his chest, fighting the strong urge to hug him back. I knew that if I touched him anymore more that I wouldn’t be able to resist his charm. Come on MJ stay strong. “Please, please forgive me...”

Could I forgive him for what? Forgive him for missing dinner or completely crushing me over the past three weeks? I took in a shaky breath, the pain in my chest making it hard to breath let alone think. This pain, this heartache, was more than anything I had ever experienced in my whole entire life—even more than everything Malcolm put me through. I didn’t know how I would bounce back from this kind of agony and loss. I just knew that I couldn’t stay here another day, praying that he would come around and finally love me. It hurt too much and I knew that deep down that I couldn’t forgive him for playing me that the way that he had.

Slowly I pulled away, my body shaking slightly as I tried to keep my nerve again. I had to be strong and I had to do this before I little crumbled. I wiped the tears from my and turned away. “I don’t know if I can…”

I heard a thud behind me but I didn’t turn back around to look as I reached for the door handle. “MJ, please…” Brian was begging now, his tone shaking slightly. I stopped, and pinched my eyes shut as my lower lip quivered. I had never heard him sound so desperate or lost before. “I’m on my fucking knees, I’ll fucking change, I promise, just…just please don’t leave me…”

I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I didn’t know how much more my heart could take. I mean, it had already crumbled, so if I let him break those little pieces all over again, I would cease to exist. But I loved him, and I couldn’t deny that. Against my better judgment, I slowly turned back around to face him, shaking my head and fighting a new wave of tears that threatened to take over. "Why should I believe that?"

"'Cause... 'cause I love you..."

My breath caught in my throat. I stood their gapping at him, my ears and my brain working to register and translate his words. I blinked a few times, trying to find my voice because I was sure I hadn’t heard him correctly. “W-What?”

Brian stood up and cupped my face with his calloused before I could even register what he was doing. His browns intently looked down into my swimming eyes, a very serious and almost scared look coming over his face. “I love you, Mia Johnson,” he said softly, pressing his forehead to mine, his gaze growing in intensity. He looked like he was afraid that I was going to disappear before his eyes.

“Y-you do?” I felt a whole new wave of emotions come over me as I looked into his eyes. Brian’s chocolate orbs told me everything that I needed to know, that and the kiss that crashed down upon my lips a second later. It was everything thing I had wanted since I fell for the guy and oh, it was so much more.

My heart sored as electricity shot through my body the minute his lips touched mine. All the pain instantly washed way, feeling his every emotion while he kissed me in the most sensual way I had ever experienced. The butterflies were exploding in my stomach and my closed eyes rolled back into my head, my arms wrapping around his neck. I felt like I was floating to cloud nine in an out-of-body experience as my body trembling under his every touch.

At that moment, I couldn’t deny the love between us—I could feel it in ever fiber of my being. There was no turning back now; we were both all fours into this. And for the time we were both equally vulnerable and there was something refreshing and terrifying about it all the same. We were now in this together and one wrong move would destroy us both and thought scared me to no ends.

“Please, promise me you’ll stay,” Brain asked breathlessly, his eyes begging me. He looked like he would crumble if I pulled away from him, not that it was physically possible for me at that moment. I craved, no, I needed his touch, his companionship, his love.

“I’m yours if you’ll have me…and only me,” I said softly, looking into his eyes and seeing a small smile come across his face as he nodded. Brian held me in a tight embrace, eliminating any and all distance between us. I could feel all of him: his warm breath on my cheek, the rise and fall of his chest, his heartbeat, and the hard reminder that my very presence turned him on.

Brian looked down at me with a small smile, his arms scooping me into the air. “You’re mine,” he growled with a devilish smirk gracing his handsome features. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way, baby doll.”

His lips ravished mine again, but this time it was more hungry and passionate. His arms lifted me into the air and legs circled his waist. The next thing I knew, my back was on the mattress and his length was plunging in and out of me. His flesh felt so good against mine as every pump set me closer and closer to the edge of pure dark bliss. In the last moment, his lips collided with mine as my walls clamped down on his member as he growled my name against my lips. Brian spilled his seed deep within me before he collapsed on top of me.

“I love you,” whispered into his shoulder with a kiss.

The last thing I remembered before I drifted into blissful sleep in Brian’s arms was his deep voice saying, “I love you too, Mia.”

A week later, I found myself in the same blissful state that I had been the night Brian told me he loved me. So far he had kept his promise to remain faithful to me, though I still couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there was something more between him and Dice than the friendship that he claimed. I was positive that something had been going on between them that night, even if she did break up with Matt. I knew her too well. Dice was a vengeful bitch that would go out of her way to get back at you if you’d wronged her. Well, I was pretty sure she wronged me by screwing Brian behind my back. I know, I know, she was my best friend, and that I should trust her, but I couldn’t. Something just kept digging in every time I saw Brian talk to her or call her, I couldn’t fight the jealousy. In reality, I guess I was just too afraid to actually talk to her because I didn’t want to know the truth—it would ruin everything that had been so wonderful for the last week. And even thought I wouldn’t admit it yet, I did miss her terribly and longed to tell her about Brian.

“Oh, shit,” I muttered to myself, running my hand over my face as I lay out by the pool. I knew that I had to get ready for work, but I really wasn’t ready for another Friday night. They were brutal but always brought in large tips so I would suck it up an go in.

Just as I sat up, my phone sounded on the pavement with a guitar riff. Brian. I smiled as I pulled the phone up to my ear, Pinkly happy looking up at me. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Just checking to make sure that you were up to go to work,” I could hear the smirk in his voice and Jimmy screaming something in the background. “Fine, fine, I’ll tell her. Just get out of my face…and Jimmy says hello.”

“WHERE ARE MY BLONDIE QUEEN AND KNIFE MISTRESS?!”

“Hi, Jimmy,” I giggled, knowing that I would catch hell for skipping out on the studio for the past few days. I was just trying to avoid Dice because I didn’t really know what to say to her. No I didn’t want our friendship to be over, but I also hated to admit that I might be wrong. I was just stubborn like that. But I knew that I would have to bite the bullet today because it was our first shift working together in a week.

“Jimmy calm down, they have to work today,” Brian huffed, and I could tell just by his tone that he was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I swear he’s been staring at you laptop all morning, willing you to appear out of thin air. I’m starting to think he actually thinks you’re a magician….”

“She is a wizard!” Jimmy sang “A magical blondie witch—What the hell do you think you’re doing short shit? I will end you if you touch my masterpiece!”

““So how is recording going?” I giggled, hearing the chaos erupting in the background. It must be one hell of a day if there was all that screaming going on. I knew from my short time at the studio that they only did that if they were really bored or really excited about something.

Brian chuckled as the background exploded with noise, causing me to pull my phone way from my ear. Did someone just play the guitar into the phone or what that something else? “Really good actually. I we are just finishing up recording the majority of the album,” I could hear the smile in his tone. “But hey, I’ve got to go, Colonel Sanders is cracking the whip. See you soon, love.”

“You’re coming by tonight?” The excitement carried into my voice, causing it to squeak slightly.

Brian laughed. “Yeah, I think we might come out to celebrate if we get this shit done. I’ll see you—”

“Stop having phone sex with Blondie and let’s get this shit on the road, Gates,” I heard Matt grumble. Was it just me or did ne not sound like his normal chipper self?

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” I sighed before hanging up the phone and making my back into the house, Pinkly nipping at my heels. “Oh, today is going to be a doozy.” And that was the truth. Not only would this be my first one-on-one encounter with Dice since the incident, but we also had two parties attending the bar tonight.

I ran inside and jumped in the shower, enjoying the warm water cascading down my back. The warmth soothed my anxiety a little bit, but I knew that I didn’t have long to lolly-gag around. I opened today, so at least I would have a few minutes of silence to get my head together before all hell broke loose. With a sigh, I got out of the shower, blow-dried my hair, ran the straightening iron through it, applied a layer of make-up and headed for the closet in nothing but a towel. I ended up deciding on a pair of dark wash denim shorts with fringed edges and a black tank with combat boots. It was just revealing enough to get me good tips but covered enough to not make me look like a whore—Dice taught me that.

Before I knew it, I was walking up to the door at Johnny’s only to find it unlocked. A frown pulled over my face as I pulled open the heavy door. What the hell was this? Had Johnny decided to come in today? My blues squinted, trying to adjust to the dimly lit bar after coming in from the bright sun of the day, only to see a mop of red hair at the bar—Dice. I wasn’t ready for this. I hadn’t even thought about what I wanted to say to her, let alone decide if I wanted to try an apologize.

I bit my lip as I passed her, throwing my leather jacket under the bar and going to grab the register drawer from the back room. When I came back, I found Dice sitting at one of the tables, trying to straighten out the mess of paperwork that Amber had left on the bar last night. I told Max not to let her close, but he never did listen to me. He had faith in her. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

I moved over behind the bar and started to restock, my mind racing with thoughts. How did she get here? I didn’t see her car in the parking lot. Did she walk here and if so where was she living now. I felt like and ass for not even knowing that. “I didn’t see your car,” I said quietly, deciding that was a safe way to start.

“I walked,” and there was that frown lingering on her lips. Okay, so maybe she was pissed at me too, and I guess I deserved that. I knew I had to make this right and at least let her tell me her side of the story. In all honesty, I was starting to go a little crazy with only testosterone in my life.

However, just as I opened my mouth to say something, Dice’s phone sounded and she busied herself in a conversation. I guess our little heart-to-heart would have to weight because the coolers weren’t going to restock themselves with beer. Damn, now I remembered why I hated opening. I had to make sure we had enough beer to last us the night and check the taps. Thank god all of them worked and I didn’t have to switch out any kegs. I royally fucked up the last one, leaving one of the stations unworkable for a week.

After restocking the coolers, I looked up to see Dice still working on the books. I guess it was now or never. “Listen, Dice—“

“Don’t worry about it. You can think I’m a slut all you want,” she huffed, her eyes not even gracing me with a look. “It doesn’t hurt my feelings.”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, looking down at my arms on the counter. “I-I just freaked….I was pissed and Brain….I should know better than to—“ I still wasn’t sure what was going on there but I felt guilty for being a bitch to Dice. I needed her in my life and I would suck it up and take a bullet to make things right with her.

“Yeah you fucking should. I wouldn’t fuck Gates if you paid me,” was she laughing? “That asshole is all yours.” Her eyes looked up and met mine for the first time since I got there.

“Yeah,” I couldn’t help but let a small smile fall over my face as I thought about him. “So…where are you living?”

Dice shrugged, typing some numbers into her phone. “Just a few blocks away, hence why I walked.” Her tone was very dry and I couldn’t tell if she was irritated at me or was pissed about something else. “You still at Haners?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged with a small blush. Dice raised a brow at me and shook her head before going back to her paperwork. “We’re back together.”

“You’re and idiot,” I couldn’t help but let a frown fall over my face at her words.

“W-Why?” I stammered, dropping one of the glasses and it shattering on the floor.

Dice rolled her eyes at me and ran her fingers through her bangs, giving me a patient look. “We’re talking about the same guy you punched in the face right?” she chuckled. “The womanizing man whore who cheated on you right under your nose…not with me but with whoever. I don’t want Gates.” I swear I saw her shiver in disgust.

“Yeah….that same one,” I frowned again, leaning against the bar. “But it’s different this time…” And I had been right so far. He had come home when promised. Called to check in when he was going to be later, and had even take me out on a couple of dates to Rubys.

“Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it,” Dice scoffed, stacking the paperwork back into the book.

“He told me he loved me,” I basically gushed, a blush and a huge smile falling over my face. Dice’s had snapped towards me so fast that I thought it was going to snap off, her brows raised her eyes wide. After a moment, the shock wore off and she relaxed into a knowing smirk.

“I told him so,” she chuckled just as the first few patrons walked through the door. “And here we go. Hold on tight, Blondie. This is going to be one hell of a night—the Avenged guys booked a party too.”

“Fuck, that’s three parties!” I ran my hands over my face before moving to fix Charlie and James, their drinks before they even sat down at the bar.

And boy was I right about tonight being crazy. From the moment that the first party stepped in through the old oak doors, the bar was loud and hectic. It was standing room only and it only got worse as the night went on. Before I knew it, there were rows of four people deep waiting for drinks at the bar, screaming and shouting their orders.

“Hold your damn horses!” Dice screamed, glaring daggers. “And if you wave that twenty at me one more time, I swear to god I will shove it so far up your ass that you will burp it up!” And there was the Dice that we all knew and loved.

“So a long island, rum and coke, a corkscrew, and jack on the rocks,” I said, setting the drinks down on the counter in front of the patrons and taking their bills. “And I’ll have that pitcher right up in a minute, Ben, don’t you worry.” I threw a wink in the regulars direction as I opened eight beers and passed them to the eager people in front of me. I guess no one had any patients today.

“Hey beautiful,” I turned to my left to meet a familiar pair of brown eyes, my body instantly relaxing. Thank god he was finally here to offer me some distraction.

“Hey, I was wondering when you guys were going to show up,” I chewed my lip as I pulled out a glass and poured Brian his usual. “Do you guys want the two bottles and the pitchers? And please don’t let Jimmy play Billy Nye the Science Guy today,” I gave him a pointed look as he threw his head back and laughed.

“Yeah, you try telling Jimmy not to do something he has his heart set on,” Well, he had a point. “By the way, he wants to talk to you about something…I have no idea—I toned him out.

I nodded and passed Brian the tray, leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips. “Come on back when you get a break.” Brain gave me a wicked smirk and I instantly knew what his plan was.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I teased back, licking my lips at the thought.

Twenty minutes later, the madness had died down a little bit and Max sent Dice on her break, leaving me to man the bar alone. However, I wasn’t quiet ready for who I saw standing in front of me. No, it couldn’t be…how did he find me?

“Hey there MJ,” Jay Knoxville schmoozed, leaning against the bar as he looked at me. He looked very similar to Malcolm but a little bit shorter and less muscular. I gaped at him, feeling like I had seen a ghost. I had only met him once or twice before but I knew enough to know that he could get just like Malcolm if pushed in the right direction.

“W-what are you doing here?” I gaped at him, taking a step backwards and twisting my hands together. “What-What do you want?” I had to admit just seeing him scared me even tough he had never given me any reason to fear him. I guess Malcolm’s stories about his crazy mental disorder were enough.

He smirked and leaned forward on the bar. “I just wanted to ask you a few questions,” Questions? What could he possibly want to know from me? My eyes danced around as my anxiety started to raise, looking for a way out.

“I-I don’t know what you could possibly—“

“Where is your lawyer friend Lucy Reed?” He suddenly snapped, his eyes glossing over slightly and a sick smirk falling on his lips. Dice? What did he want with Dice? I gaped at him, shaking my head, which only seemed to piss him off. “Listen here, Blondie, you’re going to tell me where she is and none of this has to get messy.”

“I don’t know where she is,” and that wasn’t necessarily a lie. I didn’t really know where she was…oh wait, there she is. I quickly flipped my hair over my shoulder, hoping that she would remember the signal to get lost. “I haven’t talked to her since the trial. What do you want with her anyway.”

“Don’t you worry our pretty little head about it, sweetheart.” Oh, that look alone made my skin crawl. He reminded me of Malcolm so much that I actually felt like I was going to be sick. “Are you sure you don’t know where she is.”

“Positive,” I nodded, seeing Dice duck back into the store room looking rather pale. What the hell was going on here?

Jay scoffed and drummed his fingers on the bar. “You better hope I don’t find out otherwise,” he simply shrugged, staring me down with a terrifying look in his eyes. “Well, if you see Lucy, tell her I’m looking for her. Next time I stop by, I hope that you have found me some answers.”

“What’s going on here?” I turned to look to see Matt, Brian, and Zacky standing at the counter, looking between Malcolm’s bother and I.

“I was just leaving,” he said, shooting a wink at me. Oh, now I really thought I was going to be sick. What did he want with Dice and how did he find me here.

I swallowed thickly, watching him walk out the door as my heart raced in my chest.

“Who the hell was that, MJ?”

“Malcolm’s brother Jay….and he was looking for Dice…”

Notes