Matt’s POV

I thrashed around the bed, trying every possible sleeping position known to man, but do you think I could get comfortable? I had been at this for hours since I left Johnny’s, my mind still replaying the scene from the storeroom over and over again. Where the hell had I gone wrong and why was she pushing me away? Were we really falling apart that badly and I hadn’t even noticed? I rolled over to my back for the hundredth time with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yet somehow I refused to believe that this feeling that I had every time our eyes met was nothing but a farce. Call me blind or stupid but I could have swore I saw the same look in her eyes, so that alone gave me hope. I know, I know, I’ve been through this before with Val, but I swear something about this time is different. Though maybe I should count my losses now before I wide up drinking my life away trying to figure out what happened—just like the last time with Val.

I groaned and put my hands over my eyes, trying to ignore the bright California sunshine bearing through my windows. Fuck, it couldn’t be time to get up already. And where the hell was Dice anyway? I felt the spot next to me on the bed, even though I already knew that it was empty. This had been a reoccurring trend as of the last three weeks and I was getting fucking sick of it. But I guess if she wanted to avoid me and whatever, that was her prerogative. Though, I wasn’t about to call it quits just yet, even though everything inside me screamed ‘let her go’.

“Woke up in the mornin’ today. What did I see? I saw some weed saying come and smoke meh. So I think I smoked it. Oh yeah rolled it up and sucked it,” Zacky’s voice screamed from my phone on the night-side table. You have to be fucking kidding me! That’s what those assholes were doing with my phone yesterday when they said they were looking at my lyrics? Great fucking use of studio time.

I reached over and angrily grab the phone off the table. “Sanders,” I practically growled, though I had to admit that the tune was catchy and hilarious. I seriously felt like I had been hit by a fucking bus and that wasn’t because of the alcohol I consumed last night.

“Dude, wait to you hear this killer riff I’ve got to add to fast melodic. It just fucking jumped out at me,” Vengeance was way to fucking happy this morning. Was he sick? I was the one usually dragging his and Gates’ asses out of bed for recording on Sundays. And I was pretty sure he was drinking like a fish last night trying to get MJ to talk to him. Something was really up with that guy. “I think it will fit right under Gates’ solo…”

I sat up, causing the bed to creak underneath. I ran my hand over my face and mental blocked out what else he was saying. Why was he talking so fast? I was staring to think he was doing a different kind of drug than he was singing in the ringtone just a few minutes ago. “Slow down, V,” I just was ready for this yet today. My mind had only been on one thing and it had red hair and killer legs. “What time is it?”

“Somewhere around eleven?” Was he running? Whatever, I wasn’t about ask any more questions thinking that he was definitely on something. “But get your ass here quick, Jimmy is driving me insane with his new ideas for the necrophilia song.”

“I have to pick up Gates,” and knowing him, his ass wasn’t out of bed yet. Hell, he was probably still drunk, that is unless MJ helped him get his act together. I could honestly say that she was probably the reason that he wasn’t dead right now after this multi-week party binge. Guess Synyster Gates couldn’t be silenced forever, and we all knew that but what I didn’t understand was their relationship. Were they together or not? Maybe they were in the same boat as Dice and I. Fuck, what boat was that? I guess I should figure out my own shit before I go snooping in someone else’s.

“Grab me a pack of smokes will you?” Didn’t he have a car?

“You have two legs don’t you?” I pulled on a pair of pants and threw on a baseball cap. I wasn’t in the mood for this shit today, specially when I was recording what the guys titled the Strip Club Anthem. With the amount of action I’ve gotten lately I might as well think of that while I’m singing since Dice hasn’t shown her face here in two day—at least not while I was home. Maybe I should just call it off…

“Yeah, but remember the last time we left Jimmy and Johnny alone at the studio?” Fucking hell, how could I forget? We came back from getting food and everything was destroyed—the couch, the chairs, the computer, you name it. What were they doing? Those idiots decided to have an MMA tournament with the Berrys. I think I was still paying that tab from our last album.

I groaned and pulled my aviators over my eyes. “Fine, but just don’t let Jimmy change anything until we get there.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Ten minutes later I was pulling into the gas station with my eyes on my phone. Not even a fucking text from her. Was she really so blind to see that I wasn’t worried about her? I knew Dice and I knew that she could take care of herself; I just wished that she at least talked to me. That wasn’t really that much to ask, especially since you couldn’t get her to shut up normally.

“Can I get a carton of Marlboros?” I sighed, laying a Benjamin on the counter to pay for that and the two cases of Bud on the counter. I was going to need something to get through the day and to not worry about Dice.

After paying for my purchase I headed down the street to Gates’ house. I sure as hell hoped that he was ready to go and had something interesting to say about me. I needed a distraction and I was relying on Gates for that. You think I’m crazy for putting that much faith in Haner? Well, you might be right but I was ready to try anything because if I kept thinking about Red I was going to slowly drive myself into insanity.

“Gates? You ready?” I called, letting myself in. My eyes instantly landed on the mop of red hair on the couch next to Gates, not even hearing what he said in response. What the hell was she doing here? So she can run and play with her best friends sloppy seconds but she couldn’t come home to me? That was fucked up. I know Brian’s said that they are just really close friends but I as having a hard time believing it when I always found her here. “You weren’t home,” I said, trying to control my temper as I clenched my fists. Not now, Sanders. This is not the place for this conversation.

“Well, you did tell me to find my own way home,” Dice shrugged, “I got lost.”

Got lost? Got lost where? In Gates’ bed right underneath poor MJ’s nose? I was pissed now, thinking of her doing everything in her power to stay away from me. Did she really want space from me that badly? That thought hurt but I couldn’t just leave her sitting here all day. I dropped my hands and let out a heavy sigh. “Come one, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“No.” What the fuck was her problem? If this was some kind of joke, I didn’t find it the least bit funny. I was getting really sick and tired of this merry-go-round ride that we were on.

“Stop fooling around, I won’t be home all day, you don’t have to worry—“

“No, Matt,” and tickle me surprised when she actually turned around to face me. “I want to go to the studio. With you.” My jaw literally hit the floor as I gaped back at her, trying to fight the fluttering feeling in my chest. Her green eyes stared back into mine and I felt frozen in my spot, a huge grin spreading over my face. I wasn’t sure what her sudden change in heart was but I would take it. I just wanted to see her happy again and I would do anything to make that happy, including stepping away if that’s really what she wanted.

“A-Alright,” It was then that my eyes landed on the huge stack of delicious looking waffles on the table. My stomach involuntarily growled as I made my way over to the couch and pushed myself in between Gates and Dice. “Are you going to eat these?” I asked picking up the fork.

Dice slapped the fork out of my hand and pulled the plate onto her lap. “Get your own, Shadows,” and just to tease me she put a big bite in her mouth, leaving me salivating in more than one way. Oh, and there was that little moan, making my dick twinge in my pants. Fuck, how could she be such a fucking tease even when she was eating? She wasn’t even trying.

“Don’t worry,” MJ chuckled, a pearly white smile gracing her face. “I’ve got more and I know how you like bacon,” oh that was music to my ears right there. That little blonde was a fucking wizard in the kitchen. It was only when she turned to walk into the kitchen that I noticed that she was barely wearing any clothes. I looked to my left to see Brian watching her with a small smirk on his lips.

“So are you going to the studio with us, Blondie?” I couldn’t miss the look she shot at the back of Gates head before she shrugged. No, she couldn’t be waiting for him to ask her because I was pretty sure that was never going to happen. “Oh, and Vengeance called and said Jimmy had a new idea for A Little Piece of Heaven,” I continued, earning an eye roll from both Gates and MJ. “You know he’s going to blow up your phone if you don’t come along.”

MJ chewed her bottom lip, her eyes lingering on Gates before a small frown appeared on her face. “Oh, stop it and get go get dressed,” Dice spat with her mouth full. “I’m going to need someone to keep me company in that sausage fest,” she chuckled, though it wasn’t her usual timbre. Something was off with her and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Plus,” I said while chewing. “You have that offer from Vengeance for diner,” I called after her as she climbed the stairs with a blush. I shook my head only to see Dice and Brain staring daggers at me. “What?”

“What do you mean Vengeance asked her to diner?” Gates’ jaw visibly tensed as his eyes glanced up the stairs to make sure that MJ wasn’t there anymore.

“Just what it sounds like,” I shrugged. “He asked her last night while you were chasing that redhead and that Amber chick.”

“And I told you anyone but her!” Dice’s fist flew behind me and made firm contact with Gates shoulder. “You fucking asshole!” Of course he would smirk after that. Synyster Gates was back.

“I can’t control what my dick wants,” he shrugged, though he didn’t seem like he was completely there. I was pretty sure the bastard was still drunk.

“Yeah, just like you cant control what your brain thinks. Oh, wait, you don’t think,” Dice mused as she stood up from the couch and took her plate to the kitchen. I couldn’t help but watch her hips sway as she walked. What I would give to bite into that ass...

“Well, we better get moving here. Zack said Jimmy’s on one of his creative spree’s so if we want the studio to be standing when we get there we need to hurry.” Brian threw his head back and let out a groan. Yeah, I felt the same way, man. But what can you do? We had a job to do.

“Well, I’m gonna need a fucking coffee or six if you expect me to do anything today,” he sighed and ran his hands over his face, obviously staring to come out of his drunken haze. “Ugh, I don’t know if I can do this today, Shads.”

“Suck it up buttercup,” I lightly slapped his cheek as I stood up only to see MJ coming down the stair with her hair pulled up into bun and a short sundress on. She did realize she was just going to the studio right? “We’ve got a job to do, plain and simple.”

Brian groaned as I pulled him to his feet and stumbled towards the door. “You better plan on a stop at Starbucks.” MJ walked over and pushed a tall travel mug into Brian’s hands before heading out the door without saying a word. I couldn’t miss the sad look in her eyes as she passed.

“Guess you can stop bitching now,” Dice laughed, following Blondie’s lead. “That was MJ’s way of telling you to shut up.”

“I think I like Blondie a little bit more everyday,” I chuckled silently only to feel a punch in the arm. Someone was touchy this morning.

MJ’s POV

“So I have this idea to have Mrs. Zombie sing,” Jimmy said, pulling Dice and I to the couch as soon as we walked in the door. There was never going into something smoothly with Jimmy. It was like one of those all or nothing things. “I have been listening to the track over and over, and I think we need a feminine touch. That’s why I have a special part for my knife mistress!”

Dice threw her hands up in the air, shaking her head. “Oh, no Jimbo. I don’t sing.” Now that was a bold-faced lie. I had heard her in the shower more times than I could count and she could sing, though she always told me her shampoo and conditioner were her biggest fans.

“Don’t be silly, Dicey-poo,” Jimmy waved at his hand at her and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re going to be of hot zombie momma and MJ here is going to make it all come to life!”

“Jimmy I’m not fucking—“

“Not another word about it, Dicey. Now dance my puppets, dance!” Jimmy yelled over Dice, taking her arm and pulling her toward the currently empty vocal sound booth. “It’s easy, just listen to the demo and sing with my voice. Here are the words,” I heard him say through the speaker as I pulled my computer onto my lap. I was in for a long day of coding to make these skeletons match the melodic contour for the string sections. That much I could do because that part was done. I just hoped they wouldn’t change it again because I was getting tired of coding the same thing multiple times.

“Come on, damn it,” I hissed at the screen, getting really irritated because the animations weren’t moving in the right direction. “Go to the left! Ugh!” I checked my code to see if it was correct, and I didn’t see anything wrong with it. It just didn’t make any sense. “You little fucker, just follow directions!”

“Tough day, love?” I looked up to see Brain leaning against the doorframe, watching me with a small smirk. My eyes met his before I dropped them back to the keyboard. No, MJ, don’t make yourself appear desperate. That’s only going to push him away. Though not giving the attention seemed to work because a few seconds later I felt him sink onto the couch next to me. “What’s up?”

“It’s just not working,” I sighed, forcing my eyes to stay on the screen. “I’m about ready to throw it across the room.” Oh, come on, why are you blushing because his arm is around you? What are you twelve? I leaned forward and set the computer down on the table and put my face in my hands. “How’s recording?”

“Actually, I wanted you to listen to something,” and I couldn’t help but peak at him between my fingers with a raised brow. I didn’t really know if I was the best person to be asking for musical advice. Hell, I didn’t have any musical talent—art was my thing.

“M-me?” I gaped just as Brain reached down and took my hand, pulling me towards the guitar studio. Through the glass I could see into the room where Matt, Jimmy, Zacky, and Dice were listening to some vocals.

Brian laughed and sat me down in the chair. “Yeah, because I know you’ll be honest.” I bit down on my lip as he hit play and this amazing guitar solo filled my ears. It was a fast and flowing melody that climbed with each phrase and it was simply stunning. The melody almost sounded a little poppy and I could easily get stuck in my head. “Well? What do you think?”

“Its beautiful,” I whispered, a blush falling over my cheeks again. Why was I blushing? Well, because his dark eyes were staring a hole into mine. I suddenly felt that we were the only ones in the room even though Mud Rock was behind us playing with some dials. “Its very catchy, as far as guitar solos go, and it’s almost like a waterfall of sound. It’s kinda poppy and fun to listen to at the same time though.”

Brian crossed his arms over his chest with a thoughtful look on his face. “You just gave me and idea, thanks, babe,” he said, placing a kiss on my forehead before moving to grab his black pined stripped guitar.

“No problem,” I sighed as I stood up. I know I should be happy with that little bit of attention that I just got, but I couldn’t help but feel slightly used. Like he just called me in to get an idea and then pushed me away again. Actually, I had been feeling like that more and more lately. Was he actually going to come around or was I just waiting for something that wasn’t going to happen? I shook my head, pushing away the thought, and putting my positive attitude back on.

I grabbed my computer and headed outside for a smoke. It was a beautiful day and I had barely gotten a chance to enjoy it with all of this coding, so maybe I could do both. Pulling out my pink lighter, I lit the coffin nail between my lips and took in a slow drag. The nicotine seemed to temporarily numb the dull arch in my heart every time I thought about or looked at Brain. This heartache shit suck, let me tell you. Why wont he just look at me the way he used to?

I leaned my head on my hand with the cigarette in it as I continued to code. Thank fucking god that stupid skeleton with the trombone decided to follow directions or else I was just going to complete remove him. Though, I had to admit that it looked better with a quartet than a trio. Just something about it rounded out the picture.

“What are you doing out here, beautiful?” I looked up through my sunglasses to see Zacky take a seat next to me with a cigarette hanging form his lips too. “I thought you were with Jimmy.

“Nah, he recruited Dice today,” I couldn’t help but smirk at the image of Jimmy dragging her around the studio like he did with me every time Brain brought me by. But why did he bring me by? Like clockwork, every free morning I had he brought me along. I didn’t really do much while I was here so why did he even bother? Not like he really paid attention to me. “I’m just trying to get these assholes to eat it if you will,” I giggled, causing Zacky to shake his head.

“So what do you say about that diner?” he blew out a cloud of smoke, watching me carefully with those piercing green eyes. “You showed up here today so I assumed it was all part of the deal,” he teased.

I scoffed with a smile as I took another hit. “You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?” I was actually only here because I knew that if I didn’t show up to work on this stuff that Jimmy would be blowing up my phone. Besides, I had a new cat video I was dying to show him when he got bored with Dice. “I’m here for Jimmy and Dice,” I smiled and wagged my eyebrow at him only to get another laugh.

“Oh, now I’m hurt,” he mocked, putting his hand over his heart. “But come on, what’s one diner? I’ll take you anywhere you want.” Zacky’s hand landed on top of mine as our eyes met again over the top of my computer screen.

I bit down on my lip and cocked my head to one side. “What’s the big push to get me to go out to diner? I mean, we eat together most nights here or at Brian’s.” I honestly didn’t know where he was headed with all this. He was tracing my hand with his calloused fingers, watching me closely. Was he trying to read my mind?

“I just thought it might be fun to change things up a little bit,” Zack shrugged with a small smile gracing his lips. “And you and I both know you’d rather be hanging out with me than sitting at home by yourself tonight.” Why would I be sitting by myself? Did Brain have plans that I didn’t know about?

“It sounds great and all,” I said with a frown as I put out my cigarette in the ashtray and picked up my things. “But I have to see if I can get some of this work done first.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hang out with Zacky, hell he and Jimmy were my go-to guys for an evening of distractions. Its just that I couldn’t get Brain off my mind and I really just felt like being by myself tonight if Brain was indeed going out again.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Zacky said, grabbing my hand and pulling me back towards him. I stumbled forward and ended up sitting on his lap, though I didn’t think he minded. “What about an ice cream break? I know you cant resist mint chocolate chip,” he teased as a blush fell over my cheeks again. It was true, if was mint chocolate chip was on the table I couldn’t turn away. That stuff was my biggest downfall.

“Fine, but only if we can go now,” I giggled, feeling his hand rest on my knee. “You’ve planted the seed and now I need to feed the ice cream demon.”

“Okay, okay,” Zacky laughed, putting his ash in the tray. “I just have to check with the guys to see if I can step out for few minutes.”

“What’s up?” I looked away from Zacky to see Brian leaning against the doorway looking between Zacky and I with narrow eyes. I slowly stood up from Zacky’s lap and smoothed out my dress, trying to read his expression. How long had he been standing there?

“MJ and I are just going to go for some ice cream,” Zacky said as I looked down at the ground after seeing Brain’s jaw tense. That was never a good sign. “Do you want anything?”

Notes