High Voltage

„How are you feeling? Everything’s okay?” Brian asked from the seat beside me. Well, in all honesty this limo was very uncomfy, my back was aching and I had no idea what demon planted a seed in my head to wear heels.

I let out a sigh, „Just peachy...” If you don’t mention the hairdresser torturing me for good two hours to curl up my hair and bleach the absolute shit out of my roots and in the end I still messed it all up, figuring I should probably take a shower and forgetting I had a perfectly fine hairdo. Now I have a hair-don’t and it would’ve been a wise call just to stay home and make a video for if I receive an award and just chill with the Hoarders and some Cheetos. Brian took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together.

„If it gets too rough, just say the word and we’re out of there,” He assured. Yea, like that’s gonna happen since we had to open the show. I don’t know why did they choose us and why did I agree to it, but what harm would it be just blabbing for four or five minutes, right?

„I’m fine,” I gave him a small smile, „I’ll be fine. Just don’t let anyone touch my stomach, okay?”

„Deal,” He chuckled, making small circles with his thumb on my palm. For the next ten minutes I was mentally preparing myself to deal with the screaming fans and those leaches with cameras, but nothing could’ve prepared me to what I experienced when Brian held his hand to help me out of the limo. Three guys from the security shielded me right as I got out of the car and I think I went deaf from all the screams. As far as I could see over those broad shoulders, another ten security dudes were holding the crowd in their place.

„What the hell’s going on?” I asked Brian when he pulled me close, protectively wrapping his arm around my back. He pulled me forward since I was too mindblown to remember I had to actually walk to move out of the place.

„Rave, Rave! Pose for the camera!” The flashlights were blinding me even through the shades and I just wished to get inside faster.

„You know if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl?” No, I didn’t fucking know if it’s gonna be a dude or a dudette. Brian tried to force me to ask what did they see in the ultra-sound, but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted for it to be a surprise.

„Synyster, Raven, can you guys sign this?”

And as I was about to take the sharpie, Brian pushed me inside. In a place where it was so silent that I had to actually check if I haven’t gone deaf by now. The Nokia Theater in LA was a big building and since the show hadn’t started yet, it was relatively empty.

„That was crazy...” I finally managed to get out as we walked over the fan zone and over to the sort of backstage area where all the musician’s usually chilled.

„You’re off stage and avoiding them. Of course they’d go crazy,” He smirked as some dude let us in through the gates to the vip lounge for artists. And as soon as we reached the zone and saw another couple of musicians, I stopped, holding Brian back from going to greet them.

„Hold on, I need to take these off,” I said, undoing the strap of my shoes and taking them off.

„You’re going barefoot?” He cocked his eyebrow.

„For now,” I agreed, „I’ll put them on when we go up on stage.”

And boy did that moment come fast. It felt like not even a half an hour passed when the Nokia theater was pushing it’s limits and I was forced to put on those devil’s creations known also as pump heels and Brian took my hand and escorted me to the stage. I wasn’t ready, not yet, I just had engaged in a conversation with Zacky and Johnny. A conversation which didn’t interest me, like at all, but it was more comforting to be behind the scenes than there – out in the open.

As soon as we stepped on the stage, the crowd in front of us started chanting our names. A smirk crept on my face as Brian laid his hand on the small of my back.

„Man, it’s great to be back,” he said with a small smirk, raising that glass of scotch up to his lips. Somehow I got the picture of me punching him out of the theater and that would be a rather comical view – a pregnant chick hitting the absolute shit out of a rockstar. Warmed my heart.

„Yea, speak for yourself,” I scoffed, „I could cast for some Nemo movie and play the whale.” I knew his smirk grew even bigger.

„What are you saying, that it’s my fault?”

„No,” I rolled my eyes, „Of course not. The stork raped me.” A bit of a black humor, but it seemed these guys appreciated it. The audience was laughing their asses off.

„Women,” He shook his head, yet a loving look to his eyes as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my temple. „Can’t live with them, can’t live without, right?”

I just waved him off, locking my eyes with the audience, „So how you guys doing tonight?” They cheered. I take that as ‘fine’. „How’s that booze? Tasty I bet and you know what makes it even more tastier? That I’m not allowed to drink it. Yes, you’re welcome. I mean come on, I’m not asking for some cheep vodka or shots of Patron... What wouldn’t I give for a bottle of beer. What on earth made me think that this,” I pointed to my stomach, „is a fucking good idea?”

„I could think of a couple of things,” And there was that devious smirk, which made me elbow him in the ribs, getting a good laugh out of the crowd. „Okay, with this we open the Epiphone Revolver Golden Gods awards show,”

„presented by the Honda Fury on MTV 2, a division of Viacom – their parent company. Have a blast you guys and we welcome on the stage tonight’s host – Brian Posehn!”

The show went great, that is ‘till the moment when I had to step on the stage yet again and I had just started devouring those fine ass mini hot dogs, when Chris dragged me away from Bailey, who was surprisingly sober. I guess that rehab thing did have some use after all. I hadn’t even had the time to empty my mouth, before Chris took me by hand and put me on the spot.

„We welcome to the stage Chris and Raven from Beautiful Wasteland!” Brian introduced and I was forced to put my hand in front of my mouth so nothing falls out from all the active chewing.

„Thanks, man,” Chris went into a hand shake with Brian and I just nodded, trying very hard to get that bun down my throat, but that sneaky bastard just didn’t want to go down that easy. It seemed I have to work for everything tonight, starting with heels who were not cooperating and really hurting me and now this. „So you remember your first Golden Gods, McQueen?”

„Nope,” I shook my head, barely getting the hot dog down my throat.

„How come?” He smirked, looking back at me.

„’Cause you got me drunk on Tequila,” I said like it was oh-so obvious. And there was really a rather small amount of the picture frames I had from the event. I just know I got mad at Black Veil Brides front man and that’s about it.

„aah, good times,” He chuckled lightly, „Man, how things have changed – you got fat, Bailey went sober and I’m as hot as ever.”

„Yea, keep telling yourself that,” I waved him off, „Anyhow... It’s an extreme honor to be presenting this next award. Dimebag Darrell always has and will be one of the most influential people for me, so I’m very grateful I can hand out this award to one or several of my friends and co-artists along with another very talented guitarist,” I smiled up at Chris and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

„And the nominees for Dimebag Darrell award are - Jerry Cantrel – Alice in Chains; Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance – Avenged Sevenfold; Tommi Iomi – Black Sabbath; Raven McQueen and Chris Achilles– Beautiful Wasteland; John Petrucci – Dream Theater.”

„Okay, here we go, and the award goes to,” I watched as Chris was struggling with the envelope. He even took the edge of his red cup with his teeth, that’s how deducated he was to all of this.

„You need some help there, Chris?” I snickered.

„The Dimebag Darrell award goes to... Zacky Vengeance and Synyster Gates!” he finally announced. That was a little bit obvious, but in the mean time while my husband and his best friend got to the stage, I couldn’t bare but think, what would’ve happened if me and Chris would’ve won, we would’ve given the award to ourselves? Funny thing.

And before I knew it, Syn fell on his knees in front of me and buried my stomach in kisses. My heart melted right then and there. Slowly he pushed up to his feet and brushed his lips against mine. He had never done anything like this. And in front of all these people. Had he gone nuts?

I noticed Zacky watching us with a wide smile. „That’s why Beyonce sang about girls running the world, now I get it... Anyhow, we thank you all for this, it specially our fans, because without you we won’t be doing this and earning cool awards like these.”

Finally Brian got to the mic, „Thank you,” He said and I couldn’t bare, but smile as Zakk he held the award up in the air, „It’s really an honor to be here and accepting this award, even tho I kinda felt my wife deserved it more than I did,” He shot me a warm smile, the crowd cheering. The way that word – wife- rolled down his lips just made me week to my knees. „Nevertheless, thank you again!”

You have no idea how happy I was for both of them, sure it’s not their first awards, but I still was truly happy. Brian gave me his hand and helped me get off stage so Ace Frehley and Zakk Wilde could take over. I didn’t hear the full conversation since I was too busy feeling Brian’s lips on mine, but what I did hear filled me with joy.

„Okay, maybe that actually is the last time both Synyster Gates and Zacky Vengeance receives this award. Did you know that Synyster and Raven are expecting a kid?” Zakk asked.

„Well it’s kinda hard to miss it. The way Gates kissed Rave’s belly before receiving the award... I think my wife started crying on the goddamn spot.”

„You know, maybe neither of us will be receiving any awards. I bet the little one will be kicking our asses as soon as he gets out of the womb,” Ace laughed.

About that... I looked up at Brian. He was deep in a conversation with Matt and Zack, and please, remind me to ask Matt somewhere along the road what’s happening between him and Bailey. But back to the little beast in my stomach... Brian and Zack already had a fucking plan for him or her, so did Chris and Bailey. Judging by everything said by everyone, the kid I’m carrying under my heart will be a super musician. Man, will they be disappointed if the kid turns out to be a simple slob and won’t do a single shit. I, personally, would beat the crap out of him. I mean I’m not gonna push anything on him, but if he’s gonna be a couch potato and drink my booze, spend our money and not do anything – I’ll seriously hurt him, you have my word on it. And yes, I’ll hit my kid if it will be necessary. Wanna know why? So he or she would grow up to be a little shit. Mom slapped me once or twice... or actually every other day to think about it... and look at me. I’m fucking perfect.

Notes