High Voltage

Women are like ‘pregnancy is such a beautiful thing’ and I’m here, willing just to roll over on my stomach and have a goodnight’s sleep, thinking ‘say that again and I’ll fucking cut you’. This is just ridiculous! I mean, come on... Why can’t I get fucking comfortable in this bed? Had it shrunk over night? Great, and now I have to pee.

With a heavy sigh, I somehow pushed myself up, hating Brian Haner with all that I had, seeing him all comfy and what not, sleeping on his goddamn stomach and drooling all over the pillow. Why couldn’t men be the ones to get pregnant? Why did we, women, had to suffer all the goddamn time?

I was really lucky when I got to the toilet in time, ‘cause I had to sneeze almost as bad as I had to pee, and let me tell you... No, don’t let me, actually, but I will. If I hadn’t been quick enough to get to the toilet and pull my pants down, I’d pee myself. Had happened before. Not a pleasant experience when you’re just getting in bed, Brian’s there laying after a long ass day in studio, ready to fall asleep and I suddenly cough either sneeze and boom, I just pissed myself. And the bed. And maybe even my husband.

Wanna know what pregnancy feels like? Like being in Disney World when you’re fucking hammered and too sick to enjoy anything, instead you’re with your head in the trash bin and embarrassing yourself all the fucking time. And no, there’s nothing wonderful about being pregnant. I hate every minute of it, believe me, I’m not lying. The only thing that calms me down is that it’s not permanent and at one point the kid will be out of me and I will be able to enjoy life, like... maybe, just maybe get an hour or two of sleep. And help me god if the kid is gonna cry all the time and Haner just up and leaves. I’d kill him. I really would.

When I returned to the bedroom, it took me good five minutes to get in the bed and at least attempt to make myself comfortable by building a pillow fort around me, knocking Brian once or twice in the head during the process.

„Meg...” He let out a frustrated groan.

„What?” I whispered, placing a pillow under my back, „I’m fucking tired Brian, don’t piss me off...”

„You’re tired?” He opened his bloodshot eyes just to glare at me. Okay, this got me all confused. Weren’t I the one carrying a watermelon around all day everyday? Why the hell was he angry? And why should he be tired? „You think I get some sleep if you’re not sleeping?”

„Uhmm... yeah,” I said like it was so obvious, „Your snoring proves that you actually do.”

„Please, just... try and get some sleep, I’ve to get up early in the morning,” He said, his eyes closing again.

„Isn’t tomorrow your day off?” I questioned, rolling on my side so I’d be facing him. God, he looked tired. My fingers lightly brushed over his cheek – his eyes opening on the act.

„Me and Matt are going surfing,” He replied quietly, catching my hand and pulling to his lips.

„Uhmm... about that.”

„You wanna go too?” Was that surprise I saw in his features? Yea, sure, wasn’t too psyched each time I had to go out of the house, not speaking going to the beach, ‘cause let me tell you one thing. Remember the boob job I got a good while ago? A decent C cup? Thanks to the pregnancy, now my babies were enormous. Like a G cup or something. You had no idea what that did to Brian. We all know he was a boobs person, so whenever I put on something that involved showing my cleavage, he left the house immediately. Said it was too painful to look at me, knowing we can’t have sex. It’s not that we couldn’t – it’s more of a ‘I didn’t want to’.

„Maybe, I don’t know yet, but I didn’t mean that. I meant Matt...” I replied thoughtfully, seeing him boost himself on his elbows, brushing his hands over his face.

„What about him?” He mumbled against his palms. Yea, did he actually need to ask that? I think he knew why did I even bring him up. In the middle of a night.

„What’s happening with him? He’s still running after Bailey?”

„Why’d you think that?” Playing the clueless chipmunk?

„Alex... She said he doesn’t want to be with her.” I frowned. Why was he covering for him? He knew Matt was soon to be a dad of two, he had to knock some sense into him instead of acting like it was nothing. It wasn’t nothing for fuck’s sake! Oh great, did he just fall asleep on me? Boosting on his elbows and resting his face in his palms? „Haner,” I hissed, poking him in the shoulder. He collapsed over the pillow and a silent snore left his mouth. I was left with the only option of shaking my head. Okay, prince charming, I’ll let you get your beauty sleep. I leaned closer and pressed a kiss on his forehead. „I love you.”

________

„You need to eat more healthy, Meg, your sweets diet is not at all that good, you know,” Brian explained as I pulled out already the third package of Twinkies, the one he was so hard trying to hide from me... in my fucking beach bag. He couldn’t be serious... Did it look like I wanted to be lectured? Just go and catch your waves, dude, and let me get to this sugary goodness, „You’ll thank me later when...”

I zoned out completely, knowing his lecture will be a long and annoying one. He just had to mention working out and carrying extra five hundred pounds around also after the labor and I was done listening to him. Instead, I savored those awesome twinkies. Good god, it felt like they melted on my tongue. My tongue buds were having an orgasm right now. And I’m not over-exaggerating.

„Did you actually hear a word I said?” So he actually got the hint when I pulled my beach hat over my eyes. Imagine my surprise. Anyhow, I decided not to get in an argument with him, instead I held my arm out on which he responded with a slight frown.

„Help me up, come on,” Don’t piss me off, Haner. Cooperate while I’m in my good mood. „I wanna cool my feet a bit.”

He stepped closer, before helping me get to my feet with very careful movements. It was an early morning, earlier than Brian had hoped to go to the beach. You see, his early is after 1 pm, my early, on the other hand – 10 am. It was no wonder Matt wasn’t here yet, the same went for the masses of people and I could only be thankful for that. For now it was just me, Brian, Lady and Pinkly, tho Matt was said to be here in the next half an hour.

I hooked my arm in his elbow and rested my other hand on my baby bump as Brian escorted me to the water. „So you’re not gonna tell me what’s going on with Matt?”

I saw him take a deep breath as I stopped, letting the cool water wave around my feet. „There’s nothing to tell, babe,” Suddenly out of nowhere a cigarette appeared in his mouth. Was he smoking before and I just noticed it? I took the last bite of the Twinkies, pushing the wrapper in the pocket of his shorts. „You know what’s going on. Of course he’s still fucking in love with your drummer and I honestly don’t know what to do about it anymore,” His fingers anxiously ran through his hair as he let the cigarette linger from his lips.

„They’re having twins,” I said like it was supposed to suddenly set all the wrongs of the world right.

„You think he doesn’t know that?” He sighed, the smoke coming out through his nose, „Look, he’s trying and I think it’s all that matters. He knows Alex is a cool chick. They are right for each other, just like I knew you were right for me.” He smiled warmly.

„Oh you knew...” I scoffed. I had slight difficulty believing that, knowing he couldn’t even get my fucking name right for the first five times!

„Of course I knew,” He smirked, „I’ve told you that.”

„Yea and I don’t believe you, ‘cause you’re a lying piece of shit.” I smiled widely at him as his eyebrows shot up, yet he looked amused.

„You know I’ve never lied to you.” He said, taking his last drag and kicking the cigarette butt away in the far. „I just didn’t necessarily talk to you, ‘cause I know what they told about little ol’ Meg.”

„yea? And what did they say?” He got me hooked. I didn’t even think people knew who I was, let alone spread some stupid rumors about me.

„That your temper is legendary. And I can assure they hadn’t lied about it,”

„Ass,” I punched his arm, making him stumble sideways in the water.

„See?” He laughed, „My point exactly.”

„There’s nothing to do with my temper, you’re just a dick,” I sneered.

„Unbe-fucking-lievable.” He shook his head with a roll of his eyes. „Will we actually live up to the day where you don’t call me a dick? Is that even possible?”

I frowned, eyeing him like he was stupid. „No. In fact, I think our kid’s first word will be dick instead of a ‘dad’.”

„You won’t curse in front of him!” He had to stop this thing where he claimed we’ll have a son. He couldn’t be sure and he was stressing me out each time with his presumptions. Don’t ask why, he just did.

„I won’t,” I agreed, „But I will teach her to address you properly.” Yeah, I was stubborn. And believed I was carrying a little Raven McQueen under my heart instead of a womanizing playboy – Synyster Gates. Which wouldn’t be necessarily a bad thing. I did in fact love this playboy, who seemed he was almost too pissed to handle himself. „You know for all the shit you’ve talked about your dad... Even grandma Gates sent your dad a text, saying she’s super stoked Johnny called you a dick, so don’t blame me if your little princess calls you a dick.”

„How do you know that?” His eyebrows puckered together. Oh did I forget to mention I visited his parents’ that one evening when he was out with the guys? I was bored – dad was looking over some real estate with gran and that’s how I wound up at the Haner household. Had a good laugh, that is before Suzy stuffed me like a turkey on Thanksgiving.

„Oh don’t look so offended,” I waved at him as I walked out of the water, „I wouldn’t say you’re quite flattering when it comes to your dad.”

„It’s not like I’m offending him, Meg,” He said sternly. Yea, well, I wouldn’t be so sure. If I said half the things about my father as did Brian about his, he’d be extremely offended and wouldn’t talk to me for decades. Probably die holding a grudge. Sure, Brian sr could act like it didn’t touch the delicate string, but we all knew joking or not, some things... some times were just too much.

„I know you hate me butting in, but just...” I turned on my heel and walked back to him, the water feeling wonderful under my feet. My hands rested on his hips, knowing very well he was mad at me for pointing out to something he didn’t think as a big deal. „Don’t say mean things about your dad in front of cameras. Even if you’re just joking.”

„You’re right,” He said with a straight face. Well, obviously. I was always right. „I hate when you butt in my life.” And with that he escaped my reach and went back to the shore, leaving me gaping after him. Did he... Did... he just throw a tantrum? Was he like really mad at me? Well, what the hell should I say about him forbidding me from eating those wonderful Twinkies? Wasn’t he butting in my life?

He knew not to mess with me. Even more right now when I was carrying his fucking child and was feeling like the walking dead because of him. Thank god for Matt and Alex, who appeared around the horizon or... I don’t know... I would probably have killed him. Or at least started a really loud and annoying yelling session.

„What’s up, lovebirds?” Matt asked as soon as he stopped by Brian, who was now scrolling through his phone. Haner didn’t answer, so Matt turned to look at me, holding his hand on Alex’s hip. „What’s with him?”

„I pissed him off,” I shrugged, like it was common sense after I had measured my way back to my previous lounging point.

„What did you do?” Matt questioned, letting go of Alex, who really did remind me of a fucking whale.

I sighed, „Just... the usual stuff that I do.” My eyes locked with Alex who was dressed in a bright red maternity bathing suit, the color was a perfect match for her hair. Her eyes were on the ocean and it seemed like everything was all a-okay between her and Matt, but something told me this was just a role she was playing. „Matt, have a walk with me?”

His hazel eyes locked on me, questioningly, before he shrugged, and offered me his elbow, „Yea, sure.”

I could feel Brian’s burning stare following us as we walked further from them. „So... what’s up?”

„You’re fucking Bailey?” Yea, I didn’t like the stupid foreplay.

„Whoa, already catching the bull by it’s horns?” His eyebrows shot up high, before he sighed heavily, „Somehow I felt like you’re gonna ask me this...”

„So? Are you?”

„No.” He answered quietly, „As much as I want to, I’m not.”

„Then what’s the deal?”

„What do you mean?”

„Don’t you like Alex?” He avoided my gaze and looked anywhere, but at me. Yea, I know what that fucking means, Sanders. „She’s carrying your kids for fuck sake!”

„Hey! I didn’t intend for this to happen, Meg!” He frowned, finally looked down on me. „It’s not like with you and Gates, where you’ve known each other for a long ass fucking time.”

„Well, we too didn’t intend for it to happen, Matt,”

„But it’s... different... You know you’ll be together, you’re even married!” he exclaimed.

„What’s that supposed to mean?” Was he thinking of ditching Alex with fucking twins? Oh I swear to god if I was in Alexis’ place, I’d cut his balls off. I stopped to look at him. „I thought you were the better man, Sanders... Brian was the one to fuck around, you were the one who seemed fucking appropriate for the role of a father...”

„I want kids... God knows I do, but I don’t even know Alex, Meg...”

„Then get to fucking know her! Take her on a date before the twins have popped out. It’s not that hard. Hell, I even volunteer to look after them after she’s farted them out so you can have some alone time,” What the hell was I even doing now? That would be the death of me!

„It’s not that easy,” He finally sighed, his hand reaching up to massage the bridge of his nose. „I think she hates me by now...”

„No, she doesn’t.” And I knew that for a fact. „Just take her the fuck out. But no expensive places, she doesn’t like that kinda stuff. Let her ink you, that will buy you two hours, just... do something together.”

„Matt!” Both of our heads snapped towards the place where Alex and Brian was only to see Brian white as a sheet of paper and holding Alex, her face pale. My eyes raised to look over Matt, who now looked scared shitless.

„Don’t tell me—„

„She’s gone in labor?”

„That can’t be... It’s not time yet, she has another three weeks...”

Notes