I know Matt felt bad that he had to drag me away from the hospital to meet Jim and Rhonda at back at his house, but I also knew that we didn’t have much of a choice. We had a lot of explaining to do – at least, I did.

They wouldn’t let me see Leda. Hunter tried to get them, but only immediate family was allowed in there, unless a legal parent or guardian signed off on it. And Anthony is the only person who had that sort of authority. They wouldn’t even let Austin see her, according to Hunter.

But he promised to keep me updating, and I suppose that was better than nothing.

When Matt pulls into the driveway an hour and a half later, my heart begins to beat in and out of my chest. I had never been so afraid to face the people I called my ‘parents’ in my entire life.

Matt grabs my hand gently. I look up at him, and our eyes meet; hazel to hazel. After a few moments, he pulls me into a warm hug that I wish could last forever. Not only was it comforting, but it was also understanding – he knew first-hand what I was going through right now. It had barely been two years since he lost Jimmy; he knew what it was like to lose your best friend.

I don’t cry. Crying had done nothing for me so far this entire summer, except make me feel like shit shortly afterwards. Instead, I hold it in and focus more on the sound of his heart. It’s calm and steady, unlike mine.

He makes it clear that there is no way he was going to let me face Jim or Rhonda alone by the way he keeps his hand positioned at the small of my back as we walk inside.

The second I step in, I immediately hear the sounds of laughter – Rhonda’s familiar, melodic laughter, mixed with Michelle’s and even Val’s. The smell of food – Italian, I presume – wafts in through the hallway, and my mouth begins to water. For a moment, all these sounds and smells make me feel nostalgic. It makes me miss a time when things were simpler; when I only had Gus and the guys, and Jim and Rhonda were the only parents I knew. When I had that stupid, school-girl crush on Dillon. When I was still completely innocent.

Now, I have Leda – or at least I had. I have two moms, and two dads. I don’t have those unrequited feelings for Dillon anymore; instead, I have feelings for Hunter, and I’m almost sure they weren’t unrequited.

I didn’t have my innocence anymore. I had been scarred for life. But I can’t exactly imagine my life if I hadn’t been, as weird as that sounds. It was almost like it was a part of me now. I was a survivor. And best of all, I had so many people behind me, to help me if I ever needed it.

Because they love me.

I’m loved.

Just that thought alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes, but they’re not the same kind of tears that I’ve been crying for the last few days. They’re tears of happiness – of realization. Zack had been right; it wasn’t the end for me.

It was only just the beginning.

As soon as I step foot in the kitchen, everyone goes silent. They all turn towards us; Brian and Michelle; Jim and Rhonda; Val, Gus, and… Dillon…?

They were all there. And so was Matt.

And Dillon, apparently.

Jim and Rhonda rush over to me and throw their arms around me. I’m not sure how much Matt or Michelle had told them, but whatever it was, it did seem like it had worried them to death by the way they were acting so affectionate towards me. Even after Jim pulls away, Rhonda keeps my head held to her chest. I happen to glance over at Michelle just then, only to see a look of jealousy flash across her eyes.

That alone is enough to cause me to pull gently away from her.

As soon as I’m free from her clutches, Dillon steps forward and wraps his arms around me as well.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, my voice muffled by the thick fabric of his shirt – fabric too thick for the California weather. But knowing him, it was probably the thinnest shirt he had.

“I asked Matt to fly him out as well,” Gus speaks up. “I thought it would be a nice… surprise.” He pulls away, giving me that same lopsided smile that always caused me to swoon.

But not today.

“What happened, sweetheart?” Rhonda asks suddenly. Her tone is much gentler than I ever expected out of her. “We got a call from Matt saying that something was wrong – that you had some sort of… ‘episode’ on your way back to his house.”

“And we also heard that you were having trouble adjusting to living with Matt,” Jim continues for her. “Gus expressed his concern for you – he said that maybe it was a bad idea for you to come down here.”

I glare at Gus, who just shrugs innocently.

“It’s… It’s sort of a long story,” I admit, pushing my hair out of my face. Dillon throws his arm around my shoulder, friendlily.

Just a friendly gesture. That’s all it was.

“We’ve got time – don’t we?” He looks over at Val, who is in the middle of tossing the salad. She glances over at the timer over the stove before nodding.

“Twenty minutes,” she tells him.

“Why don’t we all head on over to the living room?” Matt suggests, looking between Jim and Rhonda expectantly. They shrug.

I take a seat between Matt and Dillon. Gus sits between Michelle and Jim on the opposite couch, and Rhonda sits on Jim’s other side. Brian stands behind his wife. I resist the urge to ask Dillon to move over slightly; he was a little too close for comfort, and I could tell by Matt’s suddenly stiff posture that he thought so, too.

“So,” he says loudly, clapping his hands together. “Where do we start?” He glances between Gus and me, expecting one of us to begin.

“Well,” Gus says. “There was this barbeque on the first day. Autumn made a friend…”

“Leda, right?” Dillon cuts him off, looking over at me. I nod slowly before Gus continues.

“She started hanging out with her a little, and Matt… Matt started spending a lot more time with me.” He looks over at Matt cautiously; he just nods at him to continue. “Well, he wasn’t really spending much time with Autumn. So I convinced him to take her to an art museum, because I knew she would enjoy something like that.”

“We had an argument,” I say. “About our mother.”

“What about her?” Rhonda asks, looking over at Michelle questioningly.

“He wouldn’t tell me who she was” I explain, which just causes her to look even more confused.

“Wait.” She points between Matt and Michelle. “I thought you two were married?” Brian scoffs.

“No,” Michelle says politely, ignoring her husband. “My twin sister is married to him. I’m married,” she points to Brian, “to him.” She nods, feigning understanding.

“Michelle and I dated for a little while before high school,” Matt continues to explain. “But after that, Val and I got together.” Realizing that she’s still not quite grasping the situation, Gus decides to interject and continue anyway.

“So Matt and Autumn weren’t really getting along, and that was partially my fault.” He doesn’t falter under Jim’s disappointed gaze. “I had made Matt think Autumn wasn’t ‘mature’ enough to handle the truth. And I mainly did it because I didn’t want to be the one to taint the image of her favorite band.”

“I still would’ve appreciated it if you had told me the truth from the beginning,” I mutter. Matt squeezes my knee apologetically.

“Anyway. So Autumn eventually figured it out on her own. Matt wasn’t too happy about that, so he wouldn’t let her go out as often.” Jim raises a judgmental eyebrow over at him, and I can tell he wants nothing more than to jump to my defense. But Gus keeps speaking before he can. “Then apparently Leda decided it would be a good idea to sneak her out one night and…”

He begins to shift uncomfortably; the tension in the room amplifies. Jim and Rhonda and Dillon begin glancing between all of us nervously and anxiously.

“Oh, for god’s sake!” Rhonda exclaims after a few moments. “What happened?” She looks at me; worry clouds her smoky gray eyes.

I freeze up. I can’t do it. I can’t tell her.

“Someone hurt her,” Brian finally says for me. His eyes meet mine and I nod gratefully. Dillon looks over at me, frowning slightly; I don’t even try to read the look in his eyes.

“What do you mean? How did they hurt her?” she demands worriedly.

I can’t meet their eyes. I stare at the ground.

“…Sexually.”

There it was.

Rhonda gasps. I feel Dillon inch away from me slightly. Matt wraps his arm around my shoulders, but it’s not enough. Immediately, that wave of guilt comes washing over me. I shouldn’t have gone out with Leda that night – I shouldn’t have. I should have been more abrasive. Why couldn’t I just learn to speak up for myself?

But there’s nothing I can do about it now.

“You let my daughter get raped?”

My head snaps up. I look at Jim. There’s a fire in his eyes that I do not recognize, and it’s directed at Matt. I grab Matt’s arm, as if to silently show him that there’s no point in blaming him; that it wasn’t his fault.

“I didn’t find out until over a week later,” he says quietly. “If I had known sooner, I would have gone out and killed that motherfucker – and I tried to last night.”

“Did you know the man who raped you?” Rhonda whispers. I nod.

“He was Leda’s brother,” I tell her. Jim just scoffs.

“It seems to me like you picked the wrong friend,” he says. “All I’ve heard so far is how she’s done nothing but get you into trouble.” I don’t deny it right away, because in a way, he’s right. She was the one who introduced me to Anthony in the first place; she wouldn’t let me say no when she snuck me out.

In a way, Leda was to blame. But no one made Anthony rape me. He did that on his own.

“It wasn’t Leda’s fault,” I finally say, but I’ve said it too late; he’s already formed an opinion on her. And when Jim has formed an opinion on someone, it’s almost impossible to change his mind about it.

“I don’t want you hanging out with her anymore.” He’s dead serious. “I don’t want you to talk to her. I want you to delete her number, and any other form of contact you have with her.”

“There’s no point,” I say. He is about to retaliate, but I speak before he does, “She’s going to die anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“She blamed herself for what happened. She tried to kill herself last night, and unless her brother can give her a blood transfusion…” I take a deep breath. I’m not going to cry. Not this time. “But he… fled. He’s not in Huntington anymore. At least, not according to Hunter.”

“Hunter?” Dillon finally speaks up.

“Her brother,” I tell him. “Other brother. The one who’s not a rapist.” He nods; his mouth forms an ‘oh’ shape.

Jim looks unsure of what to say. Knowing him as well as I do, I can tell he’s torn between wanting to say that Leda dying was a good thing – at least for me. On the other, I know how strongly he feels against suicide. Apparently she was no exception.

“Did you try talking to her parents?” Jim demands out of Matt.

“Her parents are dead. Anthony is their legal guardian,” I clarify for him. “But he’s always gotten away with things like this. Apparently he deals drugs, or something like that. And I’m not the only one he… raped that night, either.” The three of them look at me expectantly. “He raped Leda, too. And it wasn’t the first time, apparently.”

“That’s… Really, really fucked up,” Dillon breathes. “God damn, Autumn; what the hell kind of family did you get involved with?”

“Hunter and Leda aren’t bad – it’s just Anthony.” He doesn’t look too sure.

“So what are we going to do about this?” Jim asks next. “She can’t just walk away from this like everything’s fine – no one is fine after something like this has happened to them.” It takes me a moment for me to realize that he’s talking about me. “She’s going to need a year of therapy – at least. And I don’t want her ever to have to come back here. In fact, I have half a mind to bring her back to Washington with Rhonda and me. And maybe I should take Gus, too.”

Michelle looks across the room at Matt nervously, but he shakes his head. The agreement wouldn’t allow them to do that.

“If Autumn does want to go back,” he says anyway. “Then who am I to stop her?”

Everyone looks at me. I can tell that they’re all expecting me to want to go back to Washington. Except for Gus. He gives me a knowing look; he and I both know that I can’t go back until Anthony is brought to justice.

“I’m staying,” I announce. Everyone looks rather shocked at this.

“Honey…” Rhonda breathes. “Maybe we should talk about this…?”

“No. I can’t leave until Anthony is taken care of.” Jim narrows his eyes at me.

“We’re not exactly giving you a choice,” he growls.

“You can’t take me away. That’s against what the papers say. If I want to stay here, then I have the right to. You can’t take that away.” It felt strange being so defiant towards them, but I knew it had to be done.

“California isn’t good for you,” he continues, clearly not accepting my answer. “It’s a constant reminder of the fact that you were raped.”

“Yeah, I was raped in California. But it wasn’t like it happened here, or at Michelle’s and Brian’s. It happened in one place – one place isn’t enough to taint my overall opinion of California. And to be honest, I kind of like it here. It’s a nice change from the constant shitty weather we get back home.”

“I don’t think it’s good for you,” he argues.

“And I think I want to stay here for the rest of the summer.” I grit my teeth together out of frustration. “And if you really love me, Dad, you would respect my decision.” He leans back, at a sudden loss for words.

“What about therapy?” Rhonda speaks up. I shake my head frantically.

“I don’t need therapy,” I say. “I’m fine without it.”

“Actually, Autumn.” Matt places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m with Rhonda on this one. You can’t just claim you’re fine after something like this has happened to you. Honey.” He grabs both of my shoulders so I’m completely facing him now. “I’ve known people who have killed themselves over things like this. The guilt and the nightmares became too much to bear, that they ended it –” He snaps his fingers “–just like that.”

“But I’m not like that.” I push his hands off my shoulders. “I know it’s not my fault in the slightest. Zack and Michelle helped me realize that last night. And as for the nightmares… I realize that they’re inevitable. I’ll just need to focus on something positive in my life… Like my art.” Or Hunter.

“And what happens when you get the phone call from Hunter?” Speak of the devil…

I sigh. “That’s where you guys come in. When Leda…” Deep breath. “…dies, I’ll need you more than ever. But right now… I know I can overcome this on my own. I’m a lot stronger than you think. I’m not like anyone else – I can handle myself, and my emotions.”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Autumn.” I turn and face Dillon. He gives me that smile again – the one that can get me to do anything he wants. “You should give this whole therapist thing a try.”

It’s not going to work. Not this time.

“I’m sorry, Dillon, but I stand by what I said.” I look around the room. Everyone looks completely unsure of my decision – but I know I can prove it to them. I don’t need help; I have them.

Suddenly, Gus stands and walks across to where I’m sitting. He stops over me before offering me his hand. With his help, I get to my feet. Once there, he wraps his arms tightly around me.

“I’m here for you, Tummy,” he whispers into my hair. His voice shakes; I can tell he’s on the verge of tears.

All he wants is for me to get better. And I know everyone else does, too.

But I also know that Gus knows me. Sure, for a while there, he forgot who I was for a second, but he knows me better than anyone ever has, or ever will. And he knows that I can do this – he knows he underestimated my strength.

He knows I have to do this.

And I know that he’s telling the truth

Notes

A/N: Wow okay so today's Wednesday so that means update. I almost completely forgot too because I managed to get a virus onto my computer and have been stressed out trying to delete it but I'm hoping it's gone now

Hope you all enjoyed =)

~WOLFY~