Chapter Twenty-Nine:

It was nice waking up in Matt’s arms, especially with last night being as bad as it was. It’s reassuring. I think I just needed to hear it from him. I believe him and I believe in us. I just hate surprises and there seem to be a lot of those in my life.

I slipped out of bed and pulled on my shoes. Matt stirred and looked over at me, smiling. “How’d you sleep?” He asked me.

“Better with you.” I told him.

“Let me get dressed and we can head over to the Atwood’s. We should have time for you to get ready. It’s still pretty early.” He offered. I nodded.

“Sounds good. I didn’t think to bring anything with me last night.” I sat down on his bed and watched him strip out of his clothes. I feel like I should look away, but I can’t take my eyes off of him. His chest is a masterpiece in itself. His abs are completely droolworthy. I watched his arms flex as he pulled clothes out of his dresser. He turned his back to me and dropped his boxer-briefs. My mouth fell open. Damn. I repeat, damn. He pulled on jeans and turned back around to face me.

“See something you like?” He asked me. I blushed.

“Maybe…”

“Just maybe?” He walked over to me and pulled me to my feet. “Maybe?” He repeated. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine.

"Yes.” I breathed.

“I always like what I see, when it comes to you.” He whispered. I melted. Swear on carbs. I'm melting into a freaking puddle in front of him.

“Of course I like what I see.” I told him, forcing myself to look him in the eye. He kissed me. My stomach fluttered. I pulled away. “I don’t wanna be late.” I told him. He nodded and winked.

“Let’s go.”

-.-

I left Matt downstairs with Jace. Gwen had to be at work early. So, Jace had to play nice. He normally does, but with things lately, who knows what’s what.

I decided on a fuchsia pleated skirt, a midnight purple long-sleeved shirt with matching knee socks, a grey vest, and flat-soled, black boots. I massaged some product through my hair and added minimal eye make-up before grabbing a jacket. No more dressing like a victim. If I don’t want to feel like a victim anymore, I can’t act like one.

-.-

I actually managed to pay attention in class today. I took advantage of my study hall and stole away into an empty art room and started to sketch. I pulled out my iPod and listened to a few songs from Matt’s band. I kept sketching until I felt I captured the essence of their band.

I stared at my previously blank page and just looked at for a minute. It isn’t perfect. Nothing I draw really is. I can always find the flaws. It’s a sneering skull with bat wings behind it. It looks kind of badass.

The bell rang, surprising me. I packed up my things and headed outside to the picnic tables. I told Matt I would get a seat since he’s coming from an actual class. I pulled a water out of my bag and a small bag of pretzels.

I started writing while I waited. I zoned out and just let it pour out.

“You get really into writing, don’t you?” Someone came up from behind me. I jumped, dropping my pen. The mystery person sat down next to me while I fumbled to get my pen. I looked over and saw Cody. I’ve gone to school with him for years. We’ve never really talked. He’s an all-American meat-head. He has his moments but most of them he uses to think about football and sex. Typical jock.

“Way to be creepy.” I told him. He laughed.

“Can’t a guy see a pretty girl and keep her company without questions?” He asked. I shrugged.

“Not normally, no. What do you want?” I asked him.

“Just to tell you…” he paused to look me over. I shifted uncomfortably and looked him in the eyes. He smirked. “You look really good today.” He complimented.

“Thank you. Is that all?” I asked. He gives off a seriously sleazy vibe.

“If you ever get tired of the whole ‘bad boy’ thing, I’m around and I’m more than interested.” He winked. I shuddered.

“That’s… flattering, but I’m with Matt and even if I wasn’t, you’re not my type.” I told him. His smirk slid from his face.

“I like my women feisty.” He leered.

“And I like men who can take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“I’m sure I can change your mind.”

“I’m sure you can’t. You should go, Cody.” I told him.

“I’ll see you around, Angela.” He promised, getting up. Matt and Jimmy walked over to the table and gave him the ‘what-the-fuck-do-you-think-you’re-doing-here?’ look. He nodded to them.

“No, you won’t.” I countered. He wiggled his eyebrows and left.

“What was that about?” Matt asked. I shrugged.

“He wanted to let me know he was interested.” I told him. Matt’s face darkened. “Chill. I told him to take a hike. He’s a creep.”

“He doesn’t have a good rep with the ladies. If he gives you anymore lip, let me know. I don’t think being alone with him would be a good idea for you. There are rumors that he’s pushed himself on some of the cheerleaders around school.” Matt sat down. I nodded.

“Alright.”

“We were bouncing song lyrics around. Matt can show you later. Let me know what you think.” Jimmy told me.

“Sounds awesome.” I told him. I put my notebook away and started on my sketch pad before Jimmy grabbed it.

“This is wicked. Did you draw this?” He asked. I nodded. “This is exactly what we’ve been looking for. Something to symbolize our music.” He grinned and showed Matt. Matt studied it and took a picture of it with his phone.

“I’m gonna send this to the guys and see what they think.” Matt announced.

“Can we use this?” Jimmy asked.

“Yeah, sure. I was listening to your stuff when I drew it.” I told him.

“This is fucking bad-ass.” He raved. I smiled.

“Thank you.”

-.-

“I can’t believe you designed a decal for our band.” Matt put his arm around me as we walked to his car. I shrugged.

“It’s nothing.” I told him.

“It’s awesome.”

“You’ve done so much for me.” I kissed him before getting into the passenger’s seat.

“You look amazing, today.”

“Thank you.” I smiled.

“I miss your smile.” He whispered. I rolled my eyes.

“Shut up.” I told him. He chuckled.

“I wanna play you something. This is the song we’ve been throwing around. These are the lyrics Jimmy and I finally decided on.” Matt hooked his iPod up to his stereo and started playing the song. It’s soothing.

Take the time just to listen,
When the voices screaming are much too loud.
Take a look in the distance;
Try and see it all.

Chances are that you might find,
That we share a common discomfort now.
I feel I’m walking a fine line –
Tell me only if it’s real.

I looked over at Matt as he sang along. His ability to convey emotion through his singing is unreal. I’m mesmerized.

I walked through the fields through the fire,
Taking steps until I found solid ground.
Followed dreams, reaching higher,
Couldn’t survive the fall.

Much has changed since the last time
And I feel a little less certain now.
You know I jumped at the first sign;
Tell me only if it’s real.

I closed my eyes and listened to the rest of the song. I wonder when Jared will call them about setting something up. I hope he doesn’t flake out on it. I know how much the band’s looking forward to it. I think they’ll do well if they’re given a shot.

And I’m chained like a slave –
Trapped in the dark.
Slammed all the locks;
Death calls my name
And it seems I’ve been buried alive.

Take you down now.
Burn it all out.
Throw you all around.
Get your fucking hands off me.

The song got darker and it resonated even more with me. It’s like everything I’ve been feeling but haven’t been able to express.

While it seems sick,
Sober up quick.
Watch it fall apart.
Now you’re knocking at the wrong gate.

For you to pay the toll,
A price for you alone,
The only deal you’ll find,
I’ll gladly take your soul.

I listed to the rest wondering just what Matt went through as a kid with his dad. It’s probably better left for another time.

Matt looked over at me when it ended. “What did you think?” He asked me. I smiled.

“It’s amazing.” I told him.

Notes

Music Credit: "Buried Alive" -- Avenged Sevenfold

So... Yep. Let me know what you think.