A Little Piece Of Heaven
Bonding and Strength
Chapter Thirty:
I couldn’t get Matt’s song out of my head. I made him put it on my laptop when we got back to Jace’s house. I took my pain pills and changed into something comfortable so I could nap later on. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jared’s number. I want to call him while I’m thinking about it. I don’t want to forget.
“Hey baby girl,” he answered.
“Hey Jared, I just wanted to ask when you were going to touch base with Matt.” I told him, suddenly nervous.
“I actually was getting ready to give him a call. I wanted to run something by him. Do you think he’d be willing to come to LA tomorrow with the rest of his band-mates?” Jared suggested.
“I think they’d be psyched.” I told him. He laughed.
“That’s the reaction I was going for. After we get off the phone, I’ll give him a call. But, how are you doing?” He asked.
“Honestly? I’m not sure. How I feel changes every day and then some. Everything’s just really complicated and it seems like I worry about everything even more with each day.”
“Baby, I’m doing the best I can to come up with a way to get you out of this. I have some of the best attorneys around working around the clock on this. Don’t worry – they’re being discreet.”
“It’s impossible not to worry.” I told him. He chuckled.
“Your mother was the same way when she was younger.” He told me.
“What was she like?” I asked him.
“You probably remember her better than I do baby-girl.” He told me.
“Not the way you do. She changed after you. I don’t know why or what caused it but she drank herself to death. She knew what she was doing and she didn’t care that she was leaving me behind. I wasn’t a good enough reason to stay.” I said more to myself. Normally, that just stays bottled up. I don’t know why it’s spilling out now.
“Baby, you don’t really believe that, do you?” He asked.
“It’s the truth Jared. Of course I believe it. No one else wanted anything to do with us because she spiraling. Her parents couldn’t stand the way she was living or that I was a bastard. After she died, that didn’t change. They looked at me and saw their dead daughter. They blamed me for her disappointments. For a long time, Eric was the only one around. He was the only one who noticed me. I kind of wish he didn’t see me, either.” I told him.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” His voice broke.
“We can’t change anything that happened. You’re here now.” I told him.
“I should have been man enough to be there for you then. You needed me then. I was too wrapped up in myself and my then wife to pay any attention to you. You didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it.”
“I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot. I’m not holding it against you. Life’s too short. Hating takes too much out of me. I tried for a really long time to not hate Eric, but I can’t. I can’t get above it. I can’t forgive him.” I started crying. This is the most we’ve ever talked about anything serious.
“Baby, nobody in your shoes would expect you to forgive anything he’s done to you. I’m not here to judge you. It’s amazing you’ve gotten to be such a strong, young woman without help. I wouldn’t have turned out as well as you have, Angela.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” I told him, unsure of myself.
“We are going to make it through this. Do you hear me? I don’t scare easy. I’m not the kid I used to be. I’m not afraid to step up for my own. I am going to make sure you come out of this okay.” He vowed.
“I hear you.”
“Good. Take a deep breath, baby-girl. Take a bubble bath, eat some chocolate, curl up to a chick flick, put on your slippers, just do something to pamper yourself.” He told me.
“I will.” I told him. “It may just be a nap.”
“That’s fine. I’ll call Matt and let you know how it goes.” He promised.
“Alright, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up. I plugged my phone into the charger and got comfortable on the couch. I covered myself with a throw blanket and closed my eyes.
-.-
I’m trapped in my bedroom. I can hear Eric pounding his fists on my door. The door busted open. I jumped backwards. Oh, my God. The fuck just happened? I’ve got two deadbolts on my door and a chain.
Eric lunged at me and we both went down. I started doing whatever I could to get him off me. I clawed his face and managed to grab him by the pressure point right below his ear. It caught him off guard. He let go of me and took my opportunity. I hooked my leg around his ankle and pushed him off of me. I ran to the living room, trying to leave the house.
He recovered too quickly. He grabbed me just as I got the door open. He threw me to the ground. I winced. Something broke but I don’t have time to figure out what. I don’t have time to worry about breaking bones or getting messy. I need to get out of here alive.
“You’re never going to get away from me.” He hissed. He pulled me up by my hair. I stomped on his foot and he dropped me. I fumbled on the ground, trying to find anything to help me. I found a pencil and jabbed it into his shin. He went berserk. He kicked me and I went down, hard. I pushed myself up and got out the door.
I ran faster than I ever have in my life. My car is nowhere to be found. I kept pushing myself harder and harder still. I can hear him behind me. He’s faster than I am. I can’t look back, if I look back, I’ll falter. I can’t afford that, right now.
My feet were out from underneath me before I realized what was happening. I went flying. I hit concrete, hard. I must’ve tripped on something. I rolled onto my side and pushed myself up. He’s gaining on me. I looked around and saw a discarded baseball bat in the grass. I picked it up and stood my ground. I’m not running anymore. I can’t run anymore. I need to face him or I’ll always be running.
“You’re mine.” He smirked. I shook my head.
“I’ve never been yours. I’ll never be yours.” I told him. He walked closer to me.
“What are you gonna do?” He asked, eyeing the bat. “You don’t have the balls to do it.” He told me.
“I don’t need balls – I have ovaries.” I told him, lunging at him. I swung the bat and I felt it connect with something. I kept swinging and swinging. He got me off of him and onto the ground. He put his foot on top of my chest. I punched him behind his knee. He toppled over me. I got up and stood there, looking at him. “You can’t beat me. You’re nothing. You don’t have any power over me.” I told him.
He looked up at me, confused. He stood up and pulled a gun from his jacket pocket. He held it my forehead. “If I can’t have you, I’ll kill you before I let anyone else have you.” He whispered.
“Then kill me. It won’t change anything. I’m not scared of you anymore. You can’t beat me down. I’m stronger than you are.” I told him. Something flashed and music started to play.
Every day, I wake up and I fall from grace.
Every move I make has got me stuck in the darkest place.
I pray for mercy but I love the fear.
I should’ve listened while the angels were living here.
I fell out of bed. I blinked furiously, trying to clear the sleep out of my eyes. What? Oh, my God. Shit. Really? Can’t I have normal dreams like everybody else?
Where is that music coming from? My phone! Where is it?
I’m sick to my soul.
I gave you control.
It feels I’m hanging at the end of my rope.
I wanna believe that there is still hope.
I finally found it and pulled it off the charger. It’s Matt.
“Hello?” I breathed, my heart still racing.
“Hey, I just got off the phone with your dad and the guys. You down with going to LA with us tomorrow?” He asked me.
“It’s okay if you guys wanna go without me.” I told him.
“He’s your dad. We’re getting this shot because of you. We want you to be there.” He told me.
“Alright. What time did you wanna head out?” I asked him.
“Pick you up around eight?” He asked me.
“Sure. Sounds good. How many cars are we taking?”
“Two. I’ll drive and Jimmy offered to drive his car. I’m putting that song on a disc for Jared right now.”
“That’s great. I’m so proud of you guys.” I told him. I can almost hear him smiling.
“Do you want to do something to celebrate?” He asked me.
“Actually, I think I might take a bath and watch something girlie.” I told him.
“Hey, I can handle girlie. I can even supply the chocolate and popcorn.”
“I think that qualifies you as the perfect man.” I teased.
“Let me know when you’re finished bathing and I’ll head over.” He told me.
“Sounds like a plan.” I hung up. Jace walked into the living room.
“You okay? You look… wrecked.”
“Yeah, just… intense dream.” I told him.
“Another one?” He asked. I nodded.
“This one wasn’t as bad. I stood up to him. But then he shot me. So… I guess it was worse. Go figure.” I shrugged.
“If you need to talk, I’m here. I know that you’ve got Matt now, but I’m still your guy.” He told me, helping me up from the floor.
“You know you’re my boo.” I teased. He rolled his eyes. “I love you, Jace. I know I can talk to you. I promise we’ll talk when I get back from LA. Jared set up a meeting with Matt and everyone tomorrow.” I told him. He nodded.
“Tell him I say, ‘Hey’.” He grinned. “Just… be careful.”
“I will.”
I couldn’t get Matt’s song out of my head. I made him put it on my laptop when we got back to Jace’s house. I took my pain pills and changed into something comfortable so I could nap later on. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jared’s number. I want to call him while I’m thinking about it. I don’t want to forget.
“Hey baby girl,” he answered.
“Hey Jared, I just wanted to ask when you were going to touch base with Matt.” I told him, suddenly nervous.
“I actually was getting ready to give him a call. I wanted to run something by him. Do you think he’d be willing to come to LA tomorrow with the rest of his band-mates?” Jared suggested.
“I think they’d be psyched.” I told him. He laughed.
“That’s the reaction I was going for. After we get off the phone, I’ll give him a call. But, how are you doing?” He asked.
“Honestly? I’m not sure. How I feel changes every day and then some. Everything’s just really complicated and it seems like I worry about everything even more with each day.”
“Baby, I’m doing the best I can to come up with a way to get you out of this. I have some of the best attorneys around working around the clock on this. Don’t worry – they’re being discreet.”
“It’s impossible not to worry.” I told him. He chuckled.
“Your mother was the same way when she was younger.” He told me.
“What was she like?” I asked him.
“You probably remember her better than I do baby-girl.” He told me.
“Not the way you do. She changed after you. I don’t know why or what caused it but she drank herself to death. She knew what she was doing and she didn’t care that she was leaving me behind. I wasn’t a good enough reason to stay.” I said more to myself. Normally, that just stays bottled up. I don’t know why it’s spilling out now.
“Baby, you don’t really believe that, do you?” He asked.
“It’s the truth Jared. Of course I believe it. No one else wanted anything to do with us because she spiraling. Her parents couldn’t stand the way she was living or that I was a bastard. After she died, that didn’t change. They looked at me and saw their dead daughter. They blamed me for her disappointments. For a long time, Eric was the only one around. He was the only one who noticed me. I kind of wish he didn’t see me, either.” I told him.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” His voice broke.
“We can’t change anything that happened. You’re here now.” I told him.
“I should have been man enough to be there for you then. You needed me then. I was too wrapped up in myself and my then wife to pay any attention to you. You didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it.”
“I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot. I’m not holding it against you. Life’s too short. Hating takes too much out of me. I tried for a really long time to not hate Eric, but I can’t. I can’t get above it. I can’t forgive him.” I started crying. This is the most we’ve ever talked about anything serious.
“Baby, nobody in your shoes would expect you to forgive anything he’s done to you. I’m not here to judge you. It’s amazing you’ve gotten to be such a strong, young woman without help. I wouldn’t have turned out as well as you have, Angela.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” I told him, unsure of myself.
“We are going to make it through this. Do you hear me? I don’t scare easy. I’m not the kid I used to be. I’m not afraid to step up for my own. I am going to make sure you come out of this okay.” He vowed.
“I hear you.”
“Good. Take a deep breath, baby-girl. Take a bubble bath, eat some chocolate, curl up to a chick flick, put on your slippers, just do something to pamper yourself.” He told me.
“I will.” I told him. “It may just be a nap.”
“That’s fine. I’ll call Matt and let you know how it goes.” He promised.
“Alright, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up. I plugged my phone into the charger and got comfortable on the couch. I covered myself with a throw blanket and closed my eyes.
-.-
I’m trapped in my bedroom. I can hear Eric pounding his fists on my door. The door busted open. I jumped backwards. Oh, my God. The fuck just happened? I’ve got two deadbolts on my door and a chain.
Eric lunged at me and we both went down. I started doing whatever I could to get him off me. I clawed his face and managed to grab him by the pressure point right below his ear. It caught him off guard. He let go of me and took my opportunity. I hooked my leg around his ankle and pushed him off of me. I ran to the living room, trying to leave the house.
He recovered too quickly. He grabbed me just as I got the door open. He threw me to the ground. I winced. Something broke but I don’t have time to figure out what. I don’t have time to worry about breaking bones or getting messy. I need to get out of here alive.
“You’re never going to get away from me.” He hissed. He pulled me up by my hair. I stomped on his foot and he dropped me. I fumbled on the ground, trying to find anything to help me. I found a pencil and jabbed it into his shin. He went berserk. He kicked me and I went down, hard. I pushed myself up and got out the door.
I ran faster than I ever have in my life. My car is nowhere to be found. I kept pushing myself harder and harder still. I can hear him behind me. He’s faster than I am. I can’t look back, if I look back, I’ll falter. I can’t afford that, right now.
My feet were out from underneath me before I realized what was happening. I went flying. I hit concrete, hard. I must’ve tripped on something. I rolled onto my side and pushed myself up. He’s gaining on me. I looked around and saw a discarded baseball bat in the grass. I picked it up and stood my ground. I’m not running anymore. I can’t run anymore. I need to face him or I’ll always be running.
“You’re mine.” He smirked. I shook my head.
“I’ve never been yours. I’ll never be yours.” I told him. He walked closer to me.
“What are you gonna do?” He asked, eyeing the bat. “You don’t have the balls to do it.” He told me.
“I don’t need balls – I have ovaries.” I told him, lunging at him. I swung the bat and I felt it connect with something. I kept swinging and swinging. He got me off of him and onto the ground. He put his foot on top of my chest. I punched him behind his knee. He toppled over me. I got up and stood there, looking at him. “You can’t beat me. You’re nothing. You don’t have any power over me.” I told him.
He looked up at me, confused. He stood up and pulled a gun from his jacket pocket. He held it my forehead. “If I can’t have you, I’ll kill you before I let anyone else have you.” He whispered.
“Then kill me. It won’t change anything. I’m not scared of you anymore. You can’t beat me down. I’m stronger than you are.” I told him. Something flashed and music started to play.
Every day, I wake up and I fall from grace.
Every move I make has got me stuck in the darkest place.
I pray for mercy but I love the fear.
I should’ve listened while the angels were living here.
I fell out of bed. I blinked furiously, trying to clear the sleep out of my eyes. What? Oh, my God. Shit. Really? Can’t I have normal dreams like everybody else?
Where is that music coming from? My phone! Where is it?
I’m sick to my soul.
I gave you control.
It feels I’m hanging at the end of my rope.
I wanna believe that there is still hope.
I finally found it and pulled it off the charger. It’s Matt.
“Hello?” I breathed, my heart still racing.
“Hey, I just got off the phone with your dad and the guys. You down with going to LA with us tomorrow?” He asked me.
“It’s okay if you guys wanna go without me.” I told him.
“He’s your dad. We’re getting this shot because of you. We want you to be there.” He told me.
“Alright. What time did you wanna head out?” I asked him.
“Pick you up around eight?” He asked me.
“Sure. Sounds good. How many cars are we taking?”
“Two. I’ll drive and Jimmy offered to drive his car. I’m putting that song on a disc for Jared right now.”
“That’s great. I’m so proud of you guys.” I told him. I can almost hear him smiling.
“Do you want to do something to celebrate?” He asked me.
“Actually, I think I might take a bath and watch something girlie.” I told him.
“Hey, I can handle girlie. I can even supply the chocolate and popcorn.”
“I think that qualifies you as the perfect man.” I teased.
“Let me know when you’re finished bathing and I’ll head over.” He told me.
“Sounds like a plan.” I hung up. Jace walked into the living room.
“You okay? You look… wrecked.”
“Yeah, just… intense dream.” I told him.
“Another one?” He asked. I nodded.
“This one wasn’t as bad. I stood up to him. But then he shot me. So… I guess it was worse. Go figure.” I shrugged.
“If you need to talk, I’m here. I know that you’ve got Matt now, but I’m still your guy.” He told me, helping me up from the floor.
“You know you’re my boo.” I teased. He rolled his eyes. “I love you, Jace. I know I can talk to you. I promise we’ll talk when I get back from LA. Jared set up a meeting with Matt and everyone tomorrow.” I told him. He nodded.
“Tell him I say, ‘Hey’.” He grinned. “Just… be careful.”
“I will.”
Notes
Music Credit: "Where Did The Angels Go?" -- Papa RoachThank you for all the comments! Y'all are fucking awesome.:) @V6661 Your tattoo sounds bad-ass.
Comments are definitely appreciated.:)
This is an amazing story. Some chapters were hard to read but I was hooked. Thank you for sharing it.
2/16/18