“What do you want to do today?” I asked as I lounged across our couch. I flopped from my stomach onto my back and looked at Emma. She was sitting curled up on our chair, still in her sweats and tank-top. She shrugged and I sighed. I took out my phone and texted Matt before texting Zach.
“What are you doing?” She questioned, looking at me curiously. I raised an eyebrow and gave her a look.
“Texting Matt and Zach, why?” I answered cautiously. She gave me a look and I raised my eyebrows questioningly. “What?”
“For someone not dating Zach, you sure act like you’re dating Zach.” Emma muttered, returning to her internet surfing. I sighed loudly, ignoring her comment. I knew I could tell her off and explain that Matt had kissed me, but I didn’t for two reasons. The first reason was because I didn’t want her to make a big deal about it or talk about it like it’s something special; I mean, yeah, it’s Matt freaking Sanders, but it was just a kiss. Well, two kisses. The second reason was because it wouldn’t really change anything. Matt still hadn’t asked me out, and he had continued to have multiple personality disorder towards me, even after he kissed me. I had been too afraid to ask what I’ve been doing wrong, so his hostility towards me has been more confusing than ever. Everyone, including Matt and myself, no longer say we’re in a relationship. We say we’re in a thing and we’re each other’s love interest. That was the problem though; I desperately wanted to be with Matt. I want to feel his strong arms around me all the time and his lips touching mine, not a mix between comfort and hatred. Due to my personality, though, I have yet to gain the confidence to ask him what I did wrong or what I could do to help. I’ve asked all the guys, and he hasn’t told a single one of them; not even Jimmy. And Jimmy is the most trusted of all of us. Whatever I did, it must be really bad for Matt to keep it from all of his friends and his love interest.
“Hello, earth to Jessi?” Emma said loudly, snapping at me. I pulled myself out of my thought and looked at her. She narrowed her eyes before quickly brushing it off and shutting her laptop. “How about we have an indoor double date tonight?”
“What do you mean?” I questioned, sitting up. She continued to get up and walk into our bedroom. I reluctantly got up and followed her. She began rummaging through her clothes before pulling out her comfortable-yet-semi-fancy clothes and setting them on the bed.
“I mean let’s invite Matt and Johnny over and we can all watch a movie and order Chinese food or something.” Emma explained, stripping off her shirt. I bit my lip, considering it. It would give me a chance to be with Matt, and even better we’d only be around Emma and Johnny instead of all the others. Matt and I never really got to see each other alone, because every time I tried he’d always make up an excuse or secretly invite all the guys over and pretend like it was a coincidence. They’d always tell me when he’d call them. This frustrated me, because I really didn’t know if he wanted to be with me or not. I once again pulled away from my thoughts and nodded before pulling out my phone and calling Matt, who hadn’t answered my text back.
“Hey Matty-bear.” I greeted as he picked up the phone. I chewed on my lip, biting at a piece of skin. I felt bad for Matt having to kiss me, because I mutilate my lips so bad when I’m nervous.
“Hey, Kid. What’s up?” He replied, sounding happy. That was a good sign; maybe he’ll come over today. Hope arose in me and I looked back at Emma, smiling.
“So Emma and I wanted to know if you wanted to join us on an indoor double date tonight,” I began, sitting on the armrest of the couch. “Like we’re going to watch movies and order Chinese. Just Emma, Johnny and I. Want to come?”
“Double date?” Matt questioned. I nodded when I realized he couldn’t see me.
“Yeah.” I answered quickly, chewing on my lip more.
“Is Zach going to be there?” Matt asked suddenly, his voice going hard. My face dropped. I guess it wasn’t a good day.
“Uh, no. Just Johnny and Emma.” I stated cautiously, stuttering a little. “Why would Zach be here?”
“No reason.” Matt snapped quickly. Emma came out and gave me a hopeful look. I returned a sad stare and shook my head a little. Her smile fell and she mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before taking out her phone and began calling someone, probably Johnny.
“So is that a no?” I asked, my voice quiet. Matt sighed and I already knew that was a no.
“I’m sorry, Kid. I can’t. Why don’t you invite Zach?” Matt mumbled, at first sounding guilty but soon sounded hostile. I blinked in surprise. I was about to ask him why he kept suggesting Zach when he cleared his throat. “I have to go, Kid. I’ll text you, okay?”
“Uh… Okay.” I whispered. He hung up and I dropped my arm from my face. I sighed sadly and brought up Zach’s contact.
“Hey Kiddy. What’s up?” Zach said happily. I sighed sadly again and the other line went silent. “What’s wrong, hun?”
“I invited Matt to an indoor double date with Emma, Johnny, and I and he said he couldn’t and that I should invite you. Do you wanna come over? We’re ordering Chinese food.” I explained, sounding sullen. I probably looked the part too because I was pretty upset that Matt ditched me. I thought things were going well recently, and the fact that we had a chance to be together not around all the guys was the thing that caught me the most.
“Of course I will be your date tonight.” Zach answered sincerely. I smiled a little and let out a breath.
“Thank you Zach. Be over in an hour?” I suggested.
“Sure thing. See you soon.” Zach said before hanging up. I stood up and trudged to the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower. Emma looked at me and gave me a sympathetic look.
“Zach’s coming over instead. Say anything to him about your assumptions and I will kick Johnny out.” I mumbled as I walked by. Without letting her respond I shut the bathroom door and started the shower. I sat on the shower floor for about ten minutes silently crying to myself before actually cleaning myself. This was so frustrating. I just wanted to be with Matt already. I knew I was flawed, but what did I do to piss Matt off? I’m starting to feel like he’s just leading me on. After twenty more minutes of slowly washing myself I stepped out and blow-dried my hair before throwing it in a messy bun. I walked out in my towel and pulled out underwear, a plain black lace tank-top and some denim shorts. I would have rather been in sweats, but I didn’t know Johnny well enough to let him see me totally disgusting. At that thought, I threw on some make-up before going into the living room. Johnny was already there and he was ordering food while Emma was looking through our collections of movies. Johnny smiled and I waved before plopping myself on the end of the couch. I texted Zach to come over early so I wasn’t a third wheel before setting my phone down and leaning my head back. I barely noticed that Johnny had finished ordering, so I jumped a little when I saw that Johnny was right next to me, squatting on his legs.
“You look stressed. What’s up, Kid?” Johnny pointed out, sitting himself down criss-cross.
“Nothing Johnny.” I lied, smiling at him.
“Don’t listen to her, she’s a liar.” Emma interjected from her position across the room. I glared at her before looking back at Johnny, who was staring at me with big eyes.
“Is it Matt?” Johnny whispered. I nodded and he pursed his lips. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. He rubbed my back and kissed the side of my head. “Don’t worry about him, he’s just being a bitch. He really does like you, Kid. Don’t ever question it.”
“How can you even tell?” I murmured, not moving my head from Johnny’s neck. He sighed and tightened the hug.
“He has never acted like this before, with anyone. Not even with the girl he was dating for three years in high school.” Johnny rationalized, stroking my back in a cadence. I sighed. He pulled away and stared at me intently. “Trust me on this, Kid. Whatever he’s doing right now is not because of you.”
“I doubt he was even busy.” Zach said suddenly. All three of us jumped; no one heard him enter. I looked back at him and he was scowling, his body tense. I pursed my lips and looked back at Johnny. He glanced at me, his eyes filling with guilt.
“He isn’t. He hasn’t been doing anything since after the concert.” Johnny added. I looked down, wanting to cry again. Johnny rubbed my back before getting up and going to the comfy chair, where he and Emma would be sitting. Zach walked over and plopped himself next to me, immediately pulling me into a hug.
“Let’s not think about him tonight, okay? You need to have fun. Don’t let him ruin your fun.” Zach muttered. I looked up at him and pouted.
“But-“
“No buts. And no pouting.” He demanded, pulling on my lip. I bit at his fingers and he giggled femininely, causing Johnny to laugh loudly.
“So what movie have you chosen, O’ great one?” I asked, feeling slightly better.
“The paranormal activity set.” Emma answered. I clapped excitedly, but the boys groaned.
“Those are so lame.” Zach whined.
“Too bad.” Emma snapped, opening the first box. She put the movie in and turned off the lights before starting it. I leaned myself against Zach and he put an arm around my shoulders. I glanced at Emma and she was staring at us, her eyes narrowed. I glared at her and she rolled her eyes before turning back to Johnny and proceeded to suck his face. I scoffed in disgust and she flipped me off, not bothering to detach herself from Johnny. I crinkled my face and Zach mimicked me. About ten minutes into the movie the food came, and we all ate in silence as the movie continued. There was not a lot of conversation except for the occasional complain from a guy about how lame the movies were. It was probably, no, it was because of me. My whole situation with Matt was disturbing my friends. After over an hour of silence I cracked and stomped to the kitchen. I grabbed out all the alcohol Emma and I possessed before going back out. They all looked at me, concerned, but I ignored their stares and handed them all a few bottles of alcohol.
“I will not stand for this silence. Now drink or perish.” I commanded. They all shrugged and began drinking. Soon enough we were all pretty drunk and the night became much louder.