I was worried that, after Erin found out about the whole drug-dealing thing that she would go straight to Zack. But I suppose she figure out that, if she did decide to say something, I would tell him about her pregnancy. You see, there are two things I know about my sister; one, she would do anything to save herself from being a fuck-up like me, even keeping secrets like mine – and two, that could go one of two ways: she was horrible at keeping secrets when put on the spot. So, if I did happen to mention something about her pregnancy, and Zack questioned her about it directly, she would most likely confess frantically before bursting into tears like it was the end of the world. However, if Zack somehow brought up me being a drug-dealer unintentionally and Erin just so happened to be within ear shot, then she would probably give something away.

Either way it didn’t matter much; Erin wouldn’t be saying anything so long as I knew about her pregnancy. And I can pretty much conclude from the fiasco that happened just a few days prior that Liberty and I were the only two who knew both secrets.

Luckily for me, I didn’t really have to think much about teen pregnancies or drug dealing for the weekend. Even though Zack had pretty much kept to his word and kept an annoyingly close eye on me since we arrived in San Francisco, I hadn’t had a care in my head all weekend, although that may be because of the mysterious pills Will had slipped me before I left.

Somehow, I had found that I rather enjoyed myself during the guys’ set, though in their defense, I had never really listened to them much before. When it ended, I was, I admit, a little disappointed.

“Daenerys,” my dad calls after me once they’ve finally finished their set. I look up from my phone, which I’ve been texting Will on constantly since we arrived in San Francisco. “I need you to stay in the dressing room while I meet with some of the fans. Can you do that?” I feel like I’m being spoken to like I’m five, but I’m too carefree to give a fuck.

I shrug. “Okay.” He looks pleasantly surprised that I didn’t try to argue with him, but he doesn’t say anything else as he follows the rest of the band to where the fans would be.

I curl up in the corner of the couch, still not tearing my gaze away from my phone. According to Will, there was a small chance that he and his father could be M.I.A. for a while, so if they were gone when we got back, not to panic. I frown slightly at this, but I shrug it off, knowing that this was simply just a part of the job.

Just then, the door swings open and I jump slightly. I glance up, but since I hadn’t turned on any lights since I came in here, other than my phone, I couldn’t make out who it was. However, from what I could hear, it was two people – a man and a woman, clearly looking for a room.

“Why is it so dark in here?” the girl giggles. She sounds as high as a kite, and not a moment later, I hear her stumble, but she laughs it off.

“Here,” her friend replies. His voice is rather deep, and it sounds familiar. I straighten up, bracing myself for whoever it may be when they flick on the light.

He finally finds the light. As soon as it goes on, he stops in his tracks, caught red-handed. I can only stare.

Brian.

“Uh…” his little blonde slut, who doesn’t look much older than me, speaks up. “Who are you?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” I reply sarcastically.

“Danny…” Brian begins warningly.

“Oh, don’t let me ruin your fun,” I smirk.

“Daenerys.” I look over at Brian expectantly. He pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He turns to his little slut, who still looks completely dumbfounded. “I… I’m going to have to call you.” She huffs slightly but doesn’t put up a fight. Instead, she kisses him on the cheek, causing him to visibly stiffen, and flounces out of the room.

He turns back towards me, his face hard and expressionless. I can tell he’s deep in thought; what can he use as blackmail so I don’t tell anyone what I saw?

“Before you say anything,” I say, cutting off his train of thought. “I just want to let you know that you don’t have to make a deal with me to keep my mouth shut. I’m not planning on saying anything.” He furrows his brow in confusion.

“You’re… You’re not…?”

“I have no real reason to.” He still looks unconvinced. “What? You don’t trust me?”

“You’ve never really given me a reason to,” he points out, taking a seat in the armchair across from me.

“I’ve never really give you a reason not to, either.” He rests his head on his folded hands, giving me a mockingly pleasant look.

“And why should I trust a fuck-up like you.”

“I’m not saying you should.”

“It’s funny,” he continues, “that I’m worried about you saying something to someone about this. But let’s be honest here; if you do say something, who’s going to believe your word over mine?” I just shake my head.

“Look, all I’m saying is that I have no intention on saying anything ever. I have no reason to, and to be quite honest, you’re right.” I breathe out slowly and shakily, realizing I’m becoming a little emotional, which was never good. “Who is going to believe your word over mine? I just thought I’d try being nice for once, and reassure you that this is going to stay between us.”

With that, I get to my feet and make my way towards the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Brian calls after me.

“I’m going to find my dad,” I reply, swallowing hard to try and keep my voice from shaking.

Don’t cry… Don’t cry…

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he warns me. I ignore him and yank the door open with more force than is necessary, and begin making my way back down the hallway.

I turn a corner and bump right into Zack, nearly knocking me over. He catches me by the arm, frowning deeply once I’m finally steady.

“I thought I told you to stay in the green room,” he growls. I try my hardest not to flinch at his harsh tone.

Damn, why was I being so fucking weak?

“I-I wasn’t feeling well,” I stammer quickly, which wasn’t necessarily a lie. “Can we go back to the hotel?” As soon as the word leave my mouth, I notice something flash across his eyes – sympathy; something I never thought he held for me.

But just as soon as it appeared, it disappeared and he continued to frown, though this time he seemed a little more concerned.

“You do seem a little pale,” he mutters. “Can you give me a few minutes to get my shit together? Then we can head out.” I give a small nod and he releases my arm.

I follow him back to the green room, where Brian is now sitting in my spot on the couch, just as engrossed in his phone as I had been this whole trip. He looks up as we walk in, his face paling slightly when he sees Zack is with me.

“You okay, Brian?” Zack asks him, raising an eyebrow. “You look a little pale… You and Danny better not be coming down with the same thing.” He blinks at me before shaking his head.

“Nah. Nah, I’m just tired,” he tells him. “Really; I’m fine. I think I’m going to head out here in a minute, actually.”

“Well, why don’t you take Danny along with you?” he suggests, nodding my way. “She says she’s not feeling well; could you keep an eye on her while I finish up here?”

“Yeah, sure thing.” He gets up off the couch and walks over to me, placing his hand lightly on the small of my back and ushering me out of there.

He doesn’t say anything until we’ve gotten into his rental car and are well on our way back to the four-star hotel we were all staying at for the weekend. Up until then, I more or less preferred the silence.

“You didn’t say anything to him, did you?” he asks me quietly as we pull into the hotel parking lot. I shake my head, but he still sighs.

“I thought you loved her,” I blurt out as he turns off the ignition. He freezes for a moment and looks over at me with a slightly confused expression on his face. “I thought you loved Michelle.”

“I do,” he says, opening his door.

“Then why did you bring that girl back with you? You were going to sleep with her, weren’t you?” He doesn’t say anything. “That’s not what you do to people you love.”

“And what do you know about love?” he hisses at me. “You don’t have anyone to love. You have no one who loves you… You know nothing.”

I flinch violently at the harsh reality of his words. I bite my lip as hard as I can to try and prevent myself from crying; I haven’t cried in so long, I barely remember what it feels like. But it’s not a good feeling as a few tears make their great escape, rolling down my face. Brian doesn’t notice this, however as it is rather dark out, and he is already well ahead of me, waiting at the doors.

I quickly brush away the tears before they dry themselves on my cheeks, before getting out of the car and joining him.

When we reach our respective hotel rooms, which are right across from one another, he stops me before I can unlock Zack’s and my room.

“I’d rather you stay with me until Zack gets back,” he tells me. I glare at him.

“You can’t make me.” He looks about ready to hit me, but this doesn’t scare me all that much.

Wouldn’t be the first time…

“Look, until he gets back, you’re my responsibility,” he says through gritted teeth. I roll my eyes.

“You do realize that, in the long run, Zack wouldn’t care if something happened to me?” I remind him. “After all, he doesn’t love me. No one does.” At a loss for words, he finally steps back, allowing me to let myself into the hotel room.

Once alone, I feel like I’m being hit with a freight train of emotions. Feelings I thought I’d block months ago come rushing back and it all becomes too much. I feel my stomach churn violently as Brian’s words echo around in my head. Before I know it, I’m kneeling over the toilet in the hotel bathroom, throwing up what little I had eaten that day. Feeling lightheaded, I flush the toilet and stand up shakily, only to shut and lock the bathroom door; I wasn’t ready to come out yet.

I strip down to nothing but my underwear and sit on the toilet seat, twirling the small tool around in my hand. The scars, which I had not bothered to reopen in months, seem to mock me; screaming at me until it all becomes too much, and I am a bloody mess. Each cut burns individually, reminding me of how worthless I’ve become.

“You’re smarter than that, Daenerys.” “At this rate, you’ll amount to nothing.” “Why can’t you be more like your sister, Danny?” “You’re nothing but a mistake.” “You know nothing.”

I want to scream at the voices in my head to stop. The only thing that keeps me from doing that is a light knocking at the bathroom door. I take a deep breath, trying to regain control of my breathing, so it didn’t sound like I had been crying only moments before.

“Y-Yeah?” I answer shakily.

“Um, Danny? You alright in there?” Zack calls back awkwardly.

“Um… I’m really not feeling well… I don’t think I’m going to be coming back anytime soon,” I say just loud enough for him to hear me.

“…Okay.”

With that, I hear him walk away from the bathroom door and leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I let out a sigh of relief. I then look down at the blood smeared all over my legs and my arms, and the toilet seat. Nothing of which I hadn’t cleaned up before. Although, I would have to use toilet paper instead of gauze as bandages…

Once I’ve rinsed off under the shower, and wiped off the toilet seat so there was no sign of what had went on in here, I wrap a towel around my body. I poke my head out of the bathroom to make sure Zack hadn’t come back, and luckily, he hadn’t.

I find the pajamas I want and drop my towel to get dressed. Not ten seconds later, I hear someone clear their throat behind me and I jump violently, cursing loudly. Brian stands by the door, looking up at the ceiling awkwardly; his cheeks and ears are turning slightly pink. I scramble to pick up the towel off the floor and wrap it back around my body.

“You can look now,” I mutter and he sighs in relief.

“Uh… I just came to get something for Zack…” He points at the charger plugged into the wall beside the bed. I bend down and grab it, tossing it over to him. As I do so, I notice his gaze has drifted over to the bloody toilet paper wrapped around my arms, but he doesn’t say anything. “Let’s… Uh… Let’s not mention this to Zack?” I nod in agreement, feeling my face heat up. Nodding, he steps back out.

This time, I grab my clothing and make my way over to the bathroom to get dressed in there instead.

~

Ten minutes later, I walk out of the bathroom, fully clothed, to find Zack relaxing on his own bed next to mine, watching TV, and wearing nothing but his boxers. He looks over at me as I emerge from the bathroom, frowning slightly.

“You feeling alright?” he asks me, sounding genuinely concerned. I brush it off anyway and just shrug.

I crawl into my own bed, pulling the duvet tightly around my body, only just realizing how cold I am. I can feel his gaze burning holes into my back as I shiver under the covers.

“Could you keep it down please?” I ask quietly, closing my eyes tightly.

“Yeah…” He pauses. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, it’s almost ninety degrees outside, and you’re wearing a hoodie and burying yourself under the covers…”

I try my best to ignore his amused chuckles, burying myself deeper and trying to regain control over my emotions.

I guess I can’t really say I’ve never had anyone who loved me before. But I’ve tried so hard to block out the memories I have of him, because they hurt me so much. And aside from nights like these, I’ve done a pretty good job of it. Everything about it was wrong, but that didn’t stop us. Maybe it was the way things ended that hurt me so much.

I try not to let these memories haunt me as I begin to drift off, the sounds of the TV could be heard in the background of my dreams…

~

“This is wrong,” he mutters, running a hand through my raven hair. “Why do I keep doing this…? I could get in so much trouble…”

He’s talking to himself again. He does that every time. He gets all panicky; I know he regrets every moment of it, but it’s clearly not enough to stop him. I sit up, wincing slightly. He sits up with me, worry clouding his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks me, cradling my face with his hand. “Danny, if you’re still sore after… we need to stop.” I force a smile.

“I’m fine; I promise,” I tell him. He doesn’t look convinced. He sighs and rests his head in his hands.

“Shit, why am I doing this…?” he whispers into them. “You’re thirteen for fucks sake!” Tears begin to fill my eyes and I try to blink them away. I hated how I always get so emotional around him, and him constantly going on about how loving me the way he did was a mistake, was much worse than hearing I’m a mistake from my mother or Zack.

I begin crawling out of the bed, trying to keep my body covered with the sheet, suddenly feeling really self-conscious. As I bend over to start picking up my clothing, he finally speaks up.

“Daenerys, stop,” he says and I freeze. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to bed,” I mutter in reply. He sighs again.

“C’mere,” he tells me gently. When I make no immediate move to obey, I hear him move closer toward me. “Baby, please…”

I turn around, hurt filling my hollow eyes. He frowns slightly and begins reaching toward me and I back away.

“I wish things could be different,” he admits quietly. “I mean, face it Danny; this… this isn’t right. But for some reason, I can’t stop. I can’t stop because I know it will just hurt you. And I hate to see you hurt.” I stare down at the floor. “And I can’t stop because… Well… I love you, Daenerys.” My head shoots up and I meet his eyes.

“You… You love me…?” He runs his hand through his hair.

“I-I think so…? Shit, what do I know? And you – you’re only thirteen!” I try to refrain from rolling my eyes.

“Yes, we’ve already established that,” I snap. He glares, but doesn’t call me out for it.

“I’m sorry, Danny,” he finally says, his expression softening slightly. “I’m so sorry for putting you through this…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” I tell him quietly. “I’m as every bit responsible as you are.” He sighs again, extending his arms out towards me. Reluctantly, I fall into them.

He wraps his arms around me tightly and I feel the sudden uncontrollable urge to cry. I can’t help the few tears that are able to escape as they fall softly onto his back.

“What’s the matter?” he asks gently, feeling me shake with every silent sob.

“You’re all I have,” I mutter. “I just can’t imagine life without you.” He chuckles lightly, pulling me with him so we’re lying on the bed again; me lying on top of his tattooed chest.

I begin tracing the small ‘F’ on his chest and he goes back to running his long fingers through my hair. He begins humming softly.

“Jimmy?” he stops humming to show he’s listening. “Promise me you won’t ever leave me.” I feel him tense up slightly.

“I… I promise.” Satisfied, I fall asleep to him humming…

Notes

A/N: I honestly do not remember what made me come up with this, but it just sort of worked in the end. So, yeah.

Anyway, after writing this story, I realized that the whole drug-dealer thing isn't really addressed too much, because this chapter kind of altered the course of the story that I originally planned out. That's sort of the reason why I'm planning a sequel for this story, so in the future of the story, please don't ask too much about it, because I promise to address it in the sequel.

Thanks again!

~WOLFY~