Shattered By Broken Dreams

**Chrissie's POV**

I roll over and stuff my head under my pillow...did Zacky always snore this loud or is the sound just amplified in this tiny ass space?! Ugh, I can't fall asleep here so I decide to see if the couch in the front of the bus is currently occupied.

I tip toe down the hallway passed all of the sleeping guys while dragging my blanket and pillow behind me. I am relieved to find the sofa unoccupied and quickly plop my tired and frail body down on top of it. Peace at last!

The bandage on my wrist itching like crazy and I absentmindedly pick at it while trying to find a comfortable position to lay in. Fuck, I swear they rubbed this gauze in poison ivy before applying it to my skin...I need it off, I NEED IT OFF NOW!

I stand up and fumble around the kitchen desperately searching for something to cut the adhesive tape off with. I am so engrossed in my mission that I don't exactly realize that I'm making an awful racket.

Ah ha! Success!!! I think, as I grab a large pair of metal scissors from the drawer and slide one side of the cutting blade between my skin and the bandage. The sensation of the cool metal against my flesh stirs up a whirlwind of emotions in me. Regret? Sorrow? Happiness??

"Eh hm" a voice calls from behind me and the scissors slip from my hand and crash down to the floor.

...Oh shit.

Matt's POV

I am in the middle of a wickedly awesome dream, when I begin to hear the faint clattering of drawers and cabinets being opened and closed. That's an awkward sound for this particular kind of dream...hmm, I guess that means it's really happening. Why cruel world?!

I let out a quiet groan and check the time on my cell phone, it's 2am...who in the fuck would be- Chrissie.

I slip on a pair of boxers and some sleeping pants before making my way towards the front of the bus. What on earth is she doing up at this hour anyhow? I bet Zacky is snoring like a freight train again...he always does when he's exhausted.

My stomach sinks when I see her clutching a sharp pair of scissors to her wrist, with an almost zen-like expression across her face. Oh god please tell me that my wet dream just turned into a nightmare and that this isn't really happening! "Eh hm" I choke out because I can't form words right now. Zacky will flip a shit if he sees this!

The scissors go crashing to the ground and Chrissie slowly turns to face me. Her eyes are wide and full of terror...is she afraid of me?? "Matt- I- I was just" she stammers out nervously and I quickly step forward and wrap her in my arms.

I pull back and tilt her chin to face me but her eyes refuse to met mine. I need her to trust me and know that I would never judge her! "Chrissie" I whisper out and run my thumb gently over her cheek, finally coaxing her eyes towards me. Fuck, she is beautiful...No, focus... Don't go there. "What's wrong?" I ask with a semi shaky voice because of my stupid inner thoughts.

She looks down shamefully at the bandage on her wrist and let's out a sigh, "It itches.." she mumble out and my eyes grow wide. That's it?! She just wanted to cut the damn bandage off. I'm such an idiot for assuming...oh nevermind.

I pick her up and place her on the counter and kneel down to pick up the scissors, as her pale legs dangle in front of me.Get a grip Sanders, she's off limits! I stand back up and gently take her petite wrist in my hand, cutting the itchy bandage free from her skin.

She quickly tries to cover it back up so I don't see the damage she's done, but it's too late...

...I saw.

**Chrissie's POV**

I desperately try to hide my wrist from Matt's sad hazel eyes but he's quicker than me. He gently grips my arm and runs his fingers along all the fresh cuts and faded scars. Oh God, I'm so embarrassed!

"Matt. Stop. Please" I sob out and he quickly releases my arm and I immediately pull both of them to my chest. "I don't want you to see-" I choke out before I'm silenced by his lips pressing down on top of mine.

My eyes widen and my heart begins pounding in my chest but the rest of my body feels paralyzed. What is happening?!? Matt must sense my discomfort by my reluctance to kiss back and pulls away. "Chrissie, I'm-" he admits with regret evident in his voice before the sound of footsteps approaching from the hallway, cause him to stop.

I slide off the counter and Matt quickly steps to the other side of the kitchen as Jimmy appears before us, rubbing his tired blue eyes. He gives Matt an unreadable look as I turn quickly and head back to my makeshift bed.

"So what are you two doing up?" Jimmy smirks with hints amusement hanging off each word, making sure to pop the 'P' in 'up', like a balloon.

"Zacky was snoring" I admit and Jimmy nods before turning his eyes towards Matt, who looks wildly uncomfortable being interrogated.

"I had the munchies.." he lies and Jimmy quirks and eyebrow at him.

"Sure you did...I hope you found something to satisfy your appetite" he teases while drifting his eyes back in my direction before heading back to his bunk.

Somebody kill me now...

**Matt's POV**

Fucking Jimmy! I swear sometimes he finds humor in things that just aren't funny. Chrissie looks mortified and I know that I'm to blame for that. How could I be so stupid!? Why did I kiss her?! Zacky will fucking kill me if he finds out!

I rush over to the couch and kneel down in front of Chrissie, who has he face buried in her hands. Oh please tell me she's not crying! "Chrissie, I'm so sorry. That was so stupid of me. I just want to make you feel-" I ramble out before she lifts her head and looks at me with pleading green eyes.

I immediately clamp my lips shut because I'm not sure if she begging me to shut up or begging me to finish that sentence...

..I choose the option that won't get me killed.

Notes

Why do you think Matt kissed Chrissie? Comfort? Reassurance? Love? Lust??

Do you think Chrissie will tell Zacky and if so, what will he do to Matt??

Synyster Ryn