Shattered By Broken Dreams

**Chrissie's POV**

'You're nothing but a useless waste of space....
You realize that you're just a burden and EVERYONE is going to hate you for coming along..
You know that you are not wanted here....
You're just a fucked up failure and nobody will ever love you!!!!'

I jump awake and quickly shake the voices out of my head...they have been a nightly occurrence for months now, and bit by bit they wear me down and break my spirit. I rub my eyes but it's pitch black and I quickly feel around for something familiar but all I come across is a sleeveless shirt that smells like....Matt. Oh shit, I'm in his bunk!

I'm too afraid to go out and join the rest of the guys, so I decide to just hang low in the hopes of disappearing. I can faintly hear Brian and Jimmy bugging Matt to tell him who the hottie in his bunk is, and I quickly feel around to see if there is another girl in here with me. Hmmmm, I don't see or feel her, so... she must have went to the bathroom.

I rest my head against Matt pillow and ponder if my nightmares are really trying to tell me something...maybe coming along on Zacky's tour was a bad idea. He is the only person I feel safe around and I would be devastated if I found out that he was just taking me along out of guilt. I want love..not pity, damn it!

I hear the guys all get quiet and footsteps start approaching so curl up under Matt's blanket in an attempt to hide. The curtain slides open and someone crawls in the bunk next to me....ummmm hello, this bed is kind of occupied!

"Chrissie are you up?" Zacky asks and softly caresses my back. God I missed him! I peek out from under the blanket and he lets out a small chuckle, "Were you hiding in here?' he wonders and I nod my head slightly. "Awe Chris don't.... all the guys are really excited to see you, plus you haven't eaten anything in hours so come out and join us, please" he says and I look into his pleading emerald eyes and sigh.

"Ok but can I ask you a question first?" I say sheepishly and he nods. "Why did you guys put me in bed with Matt's girlfriend instead of in your bunk?"

Zacky's eyebrows furrow together, "Matt's girlfriend?? What on Earth are you talking about? Matt isn't dating anyone" he states and now I'm completely confused.

"But, Jimmy and Brian asked Matt who the hottie in his bunk was and-" I say and Zacky turns quickly and storms towards the front of the bus before letting me finish.

"THAT'S MY BABY SISTER YOU HORNY ASSHOLES....DON'T EVEN THINK OF LAYING A FINGER ON HER OR I'LL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!!" Zacky shouts and my mouth falls open in complete shock.

.....Wait, they were talking about me!?!?!

Notes