He's Forbidden, as am I

All the voices and people started to fade. Matt sat with blurred vision, unable to believe that this was true. How could she be gone? How was he supposed to do this without her? He ran his hands down his face before the sound of his mother’s voice snapped him out of his daze “Matt, sweetie, are you okay?” He didn’t respond when his head snapped up. Instead, he jumped up, noticing the doctor was opening the door to the maternity hall. Matt quickly ran for the door, and almost pushed the doctor to the floor, getting past him.

The nurses tried to stop him, but the doctor stopped them instead. “Let him go” he told them. Matt came to a skidding halt in front of their room. His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach when he saw her lying there. Pale. Lifeless. He slowly walked to the side of the bed, a whirlwind of emotions swirling through him. However, the one that took over surprised even him. Matt’s hands balled up into knuckle white fists as the anger got stronger. He let out a growl of pure rage as he knocked over the IV-stand and the heart monitor. “HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!?!” he yelled, kicking over chairs. “What am I supposed to do now?!” he continued to scream, throwing anything he could get his hands on. “How am I supposed to do this without you?” he asked softer as previous emotion took back control. Matt dropped to his knees next to the bed as the sobs raked through him.

The commotion caught the attention of several people and nurses and doctors started to head Matt’s way, not noticing another body following them. They were going to get themselves killed going in there right now.

“You’re not going to want to go in there” Jimmy stopped them just outside of the room. “He’s going to tear that room apart” one of the nurses said as she reached for the handle of the door. “And if you go in there, he’s going to tear you apart” Jimmy warned her. The nurse hesitated, pulling her hand back a little. “Go get me his son” he told them. “We can’t do that” the nurse said. “Look, if you don’t want him to destroy this hospital, then I suggest you go get me his son.”

The nurses looked to the doctor for what to do. There isn’t a lot that surprises them anymore, but this was new, and they were at a loss. He gave them a small nod before turning to Jimmy as they hurried out. “You get him to calm down, or will have to kick him out of here” the doctor told him. “I got this shit” Jjimmy shooed him away as the nurses started down the hall with the baby. They stopped in front of him and Jimmy gently picked up the tiny bundle. He had to smile a little when he looked at the little boy. He already looked like Matt.

Jimmy held him close and secure against his chest before quietly opening the door. He didn’t enter right away, his hear squeezing painfully tight at the sight in front of him. He wasn’t exactly prepared to see her like that. He was even less prepared to see Matt broken on the floor, sobbing into the side of the bed as he held tightly to her hand. He’s never seen him like this. Jimmy walked over to him. Holding the baby in one arm, he reached out and touched his shoulder. Matt’s head snapped up and he blinked a few times as Jimmy came through his blurred vision. His red eyes traveled to the small bundle, and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands as he stood up. His sad eyes connected briefly with Jimmy’s, equally sad eyes before taking the baby from him. Matt looked down at the little boy’s face, moving some of the blanked from around it. He couldn’t stop the small smile that made it’s way out when a tiny hand wrapped around his finger. He needed to get ahold of himself. He had this little boy that was going to depend one hundred percent on him now.

Unfortunately, the thought of that only brought the tears back. Matt glanced back over his shoulder at the lifeless body of the love of his life. She was gone, and he had to do this alone. He was on the verge of breaking down again when suddenly he was pulled into a one armed hug. Jimmy held him as tight as he could without crushing the baby. He put a hand on the back of Matt’s head, bringing their foreheads together and forcing him to look him in the eyes. “You’re not alone in this” he told him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. “We love you, we loved her, and we will be there every step of the way to make sure he becomes the man she would have wanted him to be” he said, bringing tears from him for a whole other reason.

Matt let them silently run down his cheeks as he gave Jimmy a weak nod. It was somewhat of a relief to know he wouldn’t be completely alone. It didn’t help much though. He loved his friends, but none of them could replace her. None of them could fill the giant hole left in his heart. “Come on” Jimmy released him and moved next to him to slide an arm across his shoulders. “You’re only torturing yourself being in here” Matt looked back at Val one more time before giving Jimmy another nod. He didn’t want to leave, but Jimmy was right. He wasn’t doing himself any favors being in here.

Matt let Jimmy lead him out of the room, looking back one more time before stepping out into the hallway. It almost felt like he was floating as he walked down the hall. His vision foggy and blurry. It felt like one giant nightmare he was never going to wake up from. The nurses made no attempt to stop him. It was against hospital policy to allow people to walk around with the newborns, but they made an exception this time. The needed to get in that room to make sure no major damage was done.

Matt took a deep breath before walking out into that waiting room. Jimmy put a supportive arm across his shoulder and the walked through the door together. They were met with soulslicing silence and sad eyes. It was supposed to be a happy day. A new life joined the family, but they were finding it hard to find joy. They had lost another far too soon in the same night. Matt fought hard to keep his tears back as he looked around the room. “Um” he pause and swallowed thickly “this is Aidan” he introduced his baby boy “Aidan James” he saw Jimmy smile a little out of the corner of his eye. “That was her idea” he added, not meaning to make his face drop. He just wanted him to know she loved him like the rest of them did.

Mrs. Sanders walked over to her son and took a peek at her grandson “He is beautiful, sweetie.” She gave him a sad smile. Her heart ached for him as she watched his eyes fill with tears and not knowing how to ease her baby boy’s pain. Everyone slowly gathered around Matt and the baby. Wanting to feel some kind of happiness, but it was hard. Matt’s eyes met those of Michelle’s as she touched his arm, trying to see her nephew, the only this she had left of her sister. Matt looked away quickly, finding it even harder now to look at her. All he could see was Val and it took him apart.

Michelle fought back the tears as she looked away from Matt, and looked at the small baby in his arms. She knew why he looked away so quickly. She knew it was going to be even harder now for them to repair anything in their relationship. “May I hold him?” she asked softly. Matt just nodded slightly before handing the baby to her, avoiding her eyes as much as possible. “Hey there little guy” she whispered smiling a little when he opened his eyes. All eyes shifted to the hallway door when it opened “Here” a nervous nurse handed Matt a bottle “he needs to eat” she said before rushing back down the hall. Michelle handed Matt his son once he sat down, so he could feed him. “I’m sorry” her sad eyes met his again. “Me too” he acknowledged her pain as well. Michelle gave him a small nod before turning to leave. She needed to get out of here. The whole night was just too much.

Brian quickly, but discretely went after her, but it didn’t go unnoticed by the redhead in the room “Michelle” Brian’s voice stopped her in her tracks. Michelle squeezed her eyes shut, and took a deep breath before turning around. “Hey are you going to be alright?” He asked, seeing the pain and tears in her eyes. Michelle fought the urge to cry as she shook her head. Brian rushed over to her and quickly wrapped her up in his arms. He held her for a while as she broke down into his chest. She may have wronged him a year ago, but he stille cared about her and he was going to try to be there for her through this.

“I miss this” Michelle whispered as she let him calm her. “Chelle” Brian sighed out, and she quickly pulled away. “It was good to see you” she rushed out as wiped her eyes. “I gotta go” she left in a haste. “Michelle, wait” Brian called after her, but she made no attempt to stop this time. She didn’t need these old feelings creeping up right now. Brian ran a hand through his hair as he watched her hurry away “Damnit” he said as he hit the wall with the side of his fist. He turned away to head back, but caught the eyes of the other girl seeking her way into his mind, watching them from the window in the door. She almost looked jealous, but that couldn’t be right.

Brian shook it off and headed back to the waiting room. Tammy frowned when he walked right pas her without a word, or even a second glance. “Hey” he put a hand on Zack’s shoulder. “Let’s get out of here. Give Matt some time” he said getting nods from both Zack and Johnny. Brian walked over to Matt and knelt down in front of him as he fed his son. “We’re gonna go” he told Matt, getting a small nod. Brian gave him a pat on the knee before standing up and looking at Jimmy. “Take Kimmie home?” he asked “I was going to stay with Tammy” Kimmie cut in. Brian shook his head “Not tonight”. The look on his face telling her he was still upset. “Yeah man, I’ll make sure she gets home”. Jimmy told him.

Matt glanced around the waiting room at those who were left. None of them really knowing what to say or do. “You don’t have to stay” Matt told them “I just need to be alone right now” he said, looking down and squeezing his eyes shut to hold back the tears. “Sweetie are you sure that’s a good idea?” Mrs. Sanders asked her son. “Please, mom, just leave me alone” he said sharper than intended. Mrs. Sanders bit back a sob knowing he was just in a lot of pain. “Okay” she whispered before kissing his forehead. “Let us know if you need anything” she told him, getting a slight nod. Matt watched in a daze as everyone started to leave. Before long it was just him and his baby boy. What was he supposed to do now? Matt snapped out of his daze when the door leading back to the rooms opened up. A nurcse came out pushing an empty nursery crib for the baby “We can take him for now” she told him “They are getting ready to move her to the morgue if you wwnt to see her one last time” she said as she took the baby from him and placed him in the crib.

Matt stood and followed the nurse back down the hall. He stopped in front of the room as the nurse continued on to the nursery. He slowly walked in his eyes never leaving her face. Just hoping that this was all a dream and those beautiful eyes would open. But they never did. “I love you” he whispered, his voice cracking from the sob that wanted to escape. As if his body was moving on his own, Matt climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around her “Please come back to me” he held her tight, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “I need you” he said, just before the stress and exhaustion of the day finally took it’s toll and he drifted out into a restless sleep. Just one more night, that’s all he needed. Just one more night with her.

Notes

Kimmie here! So xSilverPearlx wrote a new chapter, here it is.
Leave her some nice comments please? Maybe it will make her write the next chapter faster ;-)