Fire Inside

So, cranking out paintings, trying to plan a wedding and going to college, by the way I'm going to college, aren't too fun, I'm stressed to my limit. Right now I'm on the phone pacing and screaming at the woman that was supposed to have my paintings shipped two weeks ago

‘I don’t fucking care! You were supposed to have my fucking paintings shipped and you didn’t fucking do it! Do you realize how much money you just cost me?!’ I yelled and slammed my hand on the counter ‘it better fucking be here by Friday or so fucking help me you're gonna pay for it!’ I yelled again then hung up ‘Dev?’ ‘What!’ I yelled and turned to see the guys standing there, I sighed and crossed my arms ‘sorry, what do you need?’ I said softly, they looked at each other then back at me

‘Well spit it out!’ I said loudly as I popped my hip out some ‘um well, we kinda are going on tour’ Matt said and I narrowed my eyes at him ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ ‘No’ ‘with everything that I fucking have going on and your just gonna up and leave!? I have a fucking job to you know!’ I yelled and the guys backed up some but Matt stepped closer to me ‘baby, we just found out and it’s only going to be a few months’ ‘oh that fucking makes everything better doesn’t it?’

‘I'm sorry but it’s my job’ ‘oh like I don’t have one? I'm a fucking artist that can’t do anything fucking right lately, I'm a college student and I’m about to be your fucking wife if the idiots I talked to wouldn’t fuck something up every five seconds!’ ‘Well my fucking job is more fucking important!’ he yelled and I just stood there stunned for a second ‘fine, go fucking get drunk with your friends every fucking night and fuck whoever you fucking want!’ I yelled back then pushed my way through the guys and out the front door slamming it behind me.

I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets, seeing as it was still winter and just kept walking down the street. I ended up at a gas station where I bought two packs of smokes and a lighter, I used to smoke but I quit and now here I am, walking down the street smoking ‘hey’ I heard and I looked to see Benji Madden of Good Charlotte so I stopped and crossed the street over to where he was standing by his car

‘what are you doing out?’ ‘Matt and I got in a fight’ ‘how come?’ he asked and I sighed then finished my smoke and threw it to the ground putting it out with my shoe ‘he just told me he was going on tour for a few months and I'm already stressed enough so I just snapped on him and I shouldn’t have’ I said softly as I crossed my arms and kicked my foot a little

‘Why are you stressed?’ ‘Oh you know, planning a wedding, going to college, people fucking up my shipments for my paintings’ ‘so adult stuff?’ he asked and I just looked up at him, he smiled a little and I sighed ‘I have to go’ ‘no don’t, I'm sorry’ he said as he grabbed my arm as I turned around ‘I'm sorry, tell me what happened after you snapped at him’ ‘I told him that I had a job to and then he told me that his job was more important so I screamed some more and walked out’ I said and he nodded a little and bit his lip thinking of what to say

‘well, both of your jobs are important but he should realize how stressed out you are and you should realize that he does have to go on tour because it is his job and they have hundreds of people counting on them’ Benji said and I just nodded a little ‘come on, it’s cold out, let me take you home?’ ‘That’s ok; I need to clear my head’ ‘are you sure?’ ‘Yeah’ I nodded and he nodded back then hugged me, I hugged back and said bye then started back towards the house.

I walked through the front door and didn’t hear anything so I walked into the living room to see Matt sitting on the couch just staring at a blank screen ‘hey’ I whispered as I walked more into the living room ‘hey’ he whispered back but didn’t look at me ‘when do you leave?’ I asked softly again as I looked down at my feet ‘Friday’ ‘ok’ I nodded then walked into the kitchen and started making him some dinner,

I made him a bacon cheeseburger and some fries. I put everything in the dishwasher and turned it on then walked into the living room and handed him his plate ‘aren't you eating?’ ‘I'm not hungry’ I said then walked upstairs and into our room. I decided to get in the shower to try and relax so I undressed then walked into the bathroom and shut the door softly, I turned the shower on then took my hair down from its messy bun, I took my jewelry off then got in the shower.

I took my time as I tried to relax but it wasn’t really working so I just finished up and got out, I wrapped a towel around myself after drying my hair a little, I threw it back up in a bun then dried myself off the rest of the way. I put the towel in the hamper then walked into the bedroom and over to my dresser, I pulled out grey yoga shorts and a grey tank top. I brushed my hair out then walked back downstairs,

Matt wasn’t in the living room so I went into the kitchen and noticed the dishes were done so I put them away and decided to make myself some hot chocolate. While that was in the microwave I went to have a smoke, which was a bad idea because I didn’t put a coat on but whatever. I walked back inside and grabbed my mug then walked into the living room and watched Holes on ABC Family.

::Matt’s POV::

I walked through the door, well more like stumbled through the door. I saw Devin come over and try to help me ‘I don’t need your help!’ I yelled and pushed her away, she came back over and tried to help me again but I kept pushing her away.

‘Come on; let’s just get you upstairs’ she said softly as she helped me climb the steps, I just let her. Once we got to the top I stood up straight and leaned against the wall a little ‘come on’ ‘no, I don’t want your help’ ‘you need my help’ ‘no I don’t!’ I yelled loudly and pushed her back, I didn’t realize we were still at the top of the steps.

She fell down them and I could hear as something in her small body snapped ‘oh god, Devin?’ I asked as I climbed down the steps and got on my knees by her, she groaned a little so I flipped her on her back slowly and she screamed ‘I'm sorry I'm sorry’ ‘just get me to the fucking hospital’ ‘ok hold on’ I said then pulled my phone out and called Zack

‘yeah man?’ ‘Zack, I need you to come over, Devin fell and you have to take her to the hospital, I've been drinking so I can’t’ I said in a panic, he said he’d be over in a minute and hung up. I walked back over to Devin and saw that it was her leg that was broken and the bone was sticking out

‘Oh god, Dev I'm so sorry, I didn’t mean it’ I whispered and she just glared at me ‘baby I-‘ I started but Zack and the guys came running through the door and over to us ‘oh my god’ they said loudly then went over to her ‘what happened’ Zack asked, she glanced up at me and I just kinda stood there terrified ‘I slipped on the top step, just get me to the fucking hospital ok?’ she said and he nodded. Brian and Jimmy lifted her up causing her to scream out and grip their shoulders

‘sorry sorry sorry’ they kept repeating as they walked her to the car then put her in it. We sped to the hospital and pulled in the ER parking lot, Jimmy and I got her out of the back, each taking one side of her as her arms were around our shoulders ‘help!’ I yelled out and some nurses and a doctor came over to us ‘over here’ the doctor said and we followed him into the room and laid her on the bed causing her to scream out again

‘I'm sorry’ Jimmy said and she nodded a little ‘what happened?’ the doctor asked her ‘I slipped and fell down the steps’ ‘must have been quite the fall’ ‘yeah can you just fix it’ she asked and he nodded then went over and called someone then came back ‘ok were gonna give you something for the pain and another doctors going to come look’ ‘what's there to look at? Her bone is sticking out!’ Brian yelled but she just placed her hand on his arm ‘it’s ok’ she said softly, he sighed but nodded anyway and the other doctor came in

‘Well, defiantly need surgery’ the other doctor said ‘you can’t just push it back down?’ Devin asked and he shook his head ‘I'm sorry, you're going to need pins and afterwards it’s going to be about a two month recovery and you might have to do some therapy’ he said and she sighed but nodded ‘fine, let’s just get it over with’ ‘alright, I’ll meet you in the OR’ the doctor said then walked out, the nurses helped put her in a gown and hooked her up to an IV and the heart machine ‘ready?’ the nurse asked sweetly, Devin shook her head ‘no, but I don’t wanna be amputated either so onward!’ she said and pointed out the door, the nurses laughed and wheeled her away after we said our goodbyes.

We went upstairs and waited in the OR waiting room for maybe, two hours then the doctor came out and told us she did great and that we could go see her. When we walked in her room she had a cast on from her toes to her hip, she was still hooked up to the heart thing and the IV and now she had a morphine drip for the pain ‘hey Dev’ Jimmy said softly as he walked over to her, she smiled and looked up at him

‘Why are you so tall?’ she asked and he chuckled a little then sat down in the chair ‘better?’ ‘Mhm’ she smiled and he smiled back then she looked over at Brian and Zack who were on the other side of her ‘you have pretty colors on you’ she giggled, they laughed and nodded then she looked over at Johnny ‘are you shrinking?’ she asked horrified, we all laughed and Johnny shook his head ‘no sweets you're just a little loopy’ ‘ohhhhh’ ‘yeah, she’ll be out of it for a while, not a high pain med tolerance’ the doctor said when he came in to check on her,

we nodded and he checked her vitals and stuff ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘Ok I guess’ ‘that’s good, I’ll come check on you in a few hours’ ‘okie dokie’ she said and he smiled then left.
We stayed until the doctor came back to check on her again then he told us we had to leave ‘can’t one stay?’ she asked as she came back into her regular state of mind ‘alright, but just one’ he nodded and she nodded back, he left again then Devin looked at us ‘Matt why don’t you stay’ Johnny said, I looked at Devin and she rolled her eyes

‘uh no, I’m gonna go home and get things ready for when she gets to come home’ ‘I’ll stay’ Brian said, we all nodded then hugged him and hugged Devin. When it was my turn to hug her I kissed her cheek softly ‘we’ll talk when I get home’ she whispered, I nodded and kissed her, she kissed back then the guys and I left. We all went back to my house and moved something’s to the downstairs guest bedroom that had a full bath, I put some of her uh “bathroom things” in there and made sure everything was good then the guys went home and I beat myself up about it all night.

::Devin’s POV::

The guys just walked out and Brian sat down in the chair next to my bed and looked at me ‘what?’ ‘What really happened?’ ‘I slipped’ ‘you don’t slip’ he said, I sighed and licked my lips a little ‘I came back after the fight and went to take a shower, when I finished and came back downstairs Matt was gone so I just watched some tv for about an hour and he stumbled in the door drunk. I tried to help him upstairs but he kept pushing me away until he finally let me help. Once we got up there I tried to help him to our room and he pushed me away and I fell down the steps’ I said softly and he looked pissed

‘It wasn’t his fault, it just happened’ ‘it just happened?!’ ‘Yes, look, I’m not getting him in trouble, it was just an accident. Please don’t tell the others’ I said and he sighed and looked into my eyes ‘alright, but if it happens again you call me’ he said and I nodded, he nodded back then leaned in and kissed my forehead making me smile. ‘Now, what are we gonna put on this cast?’ ‘Hmm, I don’t know, but you're gonna have to find someone to help me when you guys leave for tour’ ‘oh fuck I forgot about that’ ‘it’s ok, you have to go, I’ll be fine’ ‘are you sure?’ ‘Yeah, if I'm not I’ll call Benji’ I said and he nodded and we just talked about nothing really until we both passed out.

I woke up the next morning and it was bright causing me to groan ‘morning sunshine’ ‘fuck off’ I said and Brian laughed a little, I opened my eyes and looked over at him ‘when can I go home?’ ‘Today’ I heard and I looked up to see the doctor smiling at me ‘when should I come back?’ ‘Well, since we did have to put in two pins you're going to come back here and ask for me and we’ll take the cast off then take an x-Ray, if it needs more time then we’ll put you in a cast from your knee to your toes’ he said and I nodded

‘anything I need to not do?’ ‘Don’t get it wet, wrap it in plastic or just take a sink bath. Try not to walk around, we’re going to give you a wheelchair to use and if you still need a cast afterwards we’ll give you some crutches, you shouldn’t have any pain but if you do just take some Advil or something’ he said and I nodded ‘I'm gonna go get your discharge papers and a wheelchair, you get dressed’ he said then walked out and shut the door

‘Where are my clothes?’ ‘Under the bed’ ‘help?’ I asked and he nodded then grabbed the bag that had my clothes in it, he set it on the chair then pulled out my tank top and handed it to me, I slipped that on easy being careful of my IV then he handed me my shorts. I looked down at my leg and raised an eyebrow ‘well, this will be interesting’ I said and looked back up at him, he nodded and tilted his head to the side a little

‘ok well, just go to the end of the bed I guess and pull them up?’ I questioned, he shrugged then did as told very slowly. He got to the top of my cast and I lifted myself up so he could pull them over my ass ‘well, someone’s not wearing pants for two months’ ‘guess I’ll just wear panties’ I said, the nurse and doctor came back and took the IV out of me, I signed my papers and Brian and the nurse helped me into the wheelchair.

While we were going down the elevator Brian called Zack to come get us and by the time we got down there he was waiting for us in the lobby ‘sweet ride’ he said and I laughed a little ‘just get me home’ ‘yes ma’am’ ‘actually, get me McDonalds then get me home’ ‘alright’ Zack laughed and I smiled as they took me to the car then helped me in, they put the chair in the trunk then we went to McDonalds and went home.

When we got there they wheeled me inside and into the living room where Matt was ‘hey baby’ he smiled when he saw me, I smiled back ‘ok, well were gonna go’ Zack said and I nodded then hugged him and Brian ‘call me if you need me’ he whispered, I nodded then he and Zack left. ‘Do you need anything?’ ‘Can you just get me on the couch?’ ‘Yeah’ he nodded then lifted me into his arms and walked over to the couch, he set a pillow under my leg then sat on the floor next to me ‘I’m so sorry’ he whispered with a little crack in his voice.

I looked down at him and sighed ‘it’s ok, I shouldn’t have screamed at you I was just really stressed out and you're right, your job is more important than mine’ ‘I didn’t mean that’ ‘yes you did, you never say anything you don’t mean’ I said and he looked down, I put my hand under his chin and made him look at me ‘I don’t want you to blame yourself’ ‘but I didn’t have to go drink, I could have just waited for you to finish showering’

‘you're right, it’s your fault’ I smiled and he just kinda smiled back ‘It’s both our faults baby, don’t worry about it, you go on tour and I’ll sit here and get fat’ I giggled and he just smirked a little ‘you won’t get fat’ ‘god I hope not’ I laughed some more, he laughed also then leaned up and kissed me, I kissed back and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck because I didn’t want him to pull away but he did after a minute making me pout

‘What?’ ‘I haven’t gotten to kiss you in over a day’ ‘I know baby, but I was gonna go make you some hot chocolate’ ‘oh, well that’s fine then’ I smiled and he smiled back and shook his head then walked into the kitchen and made me my drink. I sat up a little more on the couch and tried to get comfortable but it was hard ‘we need a comfier couch’ I said when he came back in and handed me my drink ‘well, I put you down here because of the kitchen, I don’t want you killing yourself trying to go downstairs to get something to eat’ he said and I nodded a little and sipped my drink

‘but, I can move you so you can actually see the tv and you won’t be sleeping here anyway’ ‘ok and can you please fix me?’ ‘Alright, let me go grab you another pillow, do you need anything else while I'm upstairs?’ ‘Can you get my laptop with the cord and my phone charger?’ ‘Yeah, I’ll be right back’ ‘okie dokie’ I nodded and he walked upstairs as I looked out the living room window and sipped my drink.

Matt came down a few minutes later with everything then he helped me move and placed my leg on the pillow on the coffee table ‘here, I bought you these’ he said and handed me an FYE bag, I looked at him then in the bag and smiled ‘baby’ I whispered as I looked over at him, he smiled and kissed me, I kissed back and took out what he got me. It was the complete series of Smallville, Charmed, Angel, Ghost Hunters and the original Superman movies.

‘I love you so much’ I smiled, he smiled back and kissed my cheek ‘I figured this will keep you busy while you heal and while I'm gone’ ‘thank you so much baby’ ‘you're welcome, do you wanna watch anything?’ ‘Yeah let’s watch Superman’ ‘alright’ he nodded then got up and opened the movie and stuck in the first disc, it was two discs and you just had to flip them over for the other movie. He grabbed me a blanket and I cuddled into his chest as we watched all the movies.

‘Come on baby let’s get you to bed’ Matt said softly as I started drifting off through the last movie, I nodded a little and watch sleepily as he turned off the movie and the tv. He took the blanket off me then lifted me into his arms and walked into the guest room and set me on the bed carefully ‘I’ll be right back’ ‘ok’ I whispered and tried to pull the blankets and stuff down so I could get under them, I got about half way then stopped because I couldn’t move anymore,

Matt came back in with our phones and chargers, he plugged everything in then helped me under the covers ‘you're not leaving right?’ ‘No baby, I’m just gonna go shut the lights off and lock the doors’ he said and I nodded then watched he walk out again. I adjusted myself a little and realized that I had to sleep on my back, which I hated doing but I guess I was going to have to get used to it.

Matt came back after a few minutes and shut the door, he stripped down to his boxers and crawled in bed with me ‘I love you’ he whispered and I smiled over at him ‘I love you too, but I hate sleeping on my back’ I pouted and he laughed a little ‘I'm sorry baby, but it’s only temporary’ ‘I know’ I sighed and he leaned down and kissed me, I kissed back and smiled up at him ‘goodnight’ ‘goodnight’ he whispered back then shut the lamp off and wrapped his arm around my waist as we drifted off.

Notes