Danger Line

„Oh god, it’s so fucking great to be back...” Bailey flunk herself on top of one of the leather couches of our new tour bus. A bit smaller than the previous, but I think we could go with it. As long as Bailey’s booze fits in the grounds of it, we’re set to go.

„Home, sweet home...” Chris stopped in the middle of our living space, dropping his luggage by his feet, an enormous shit eating smile covering his face.

„Hey, guys, aren’t we forgetting something?” Frank’s voice chimed from behind, bringing our all eyes upon him. I had a very good bet going on with myself, me and I, that three out of us three were holding raised eyebrows at him.

„Oh right...” Bailey muttered, holding her jacket open, before taking her flask out from inside of it, „Now we’re set,” She said uncorking it and taking a swig.

„No, Paul...”

„Who?” I raised my eyebrow, taking a seat on the couch right across from Bails.

„Our front-man?” Frank continued.

I acted like I was considering the thought for a moment, when in all honesty I was just thinking about the blast of a time, I’m gonna have with these guys. „...Who?”

„You guys, I understand, you’re not very thrilled about seeing him, but can we honestly go on a tour without our singer?” Not thrilled about seeing him? Let’s set things clear, I wasn’t thrilled about knowing he existed, heck I wouldn’t even be mad about the money he kinda gave my mother, the money which by law was mine, as long as he moved to Siberia and I wouldn’t have to hear about him and his groupies ever again, but sadly, that’s never gonna happen.

Both Bails and Chris turned to look at me with a look saying ‘enlighten the chump’, okay, fine. Why does it always have to be me? I jumped to my feet, walking over to my prodigy and swinging an arm around his shoulder, „Franco, Franco, Franco... Do you trust me?”

„Well... yeah... I suppose so.”

„Then trust me when I say to let it go.” I let go of him and walked forward, Chris having a very disapproving expression to his face. What? He only needed to know the dick won’t be riding with us and that’s all.

„Listen, Frank—„

„Chris, don’t...” I warned him, taking my previous place. He really didn’t want to let that bat out of the cage.

„Look, Paul’s having a bus to all by himself...”

Frank’s attentiont shifted from Chris, to Bailey and finally to me. I couldn’t tell what his expression meant. Was he glad? Enraged? Excited? „Can we even afford that?”

„Well... Apparently ‘cause we’re fucking paying for it.” I hissed, throwing a cushion over my face, not really willing to deal with all of the marvelous things Leroy had brought upon us. Since when was he the fucking superstar of this band, anyway? I should’ve kicked him in the ass when I still had the chance! To pay 1250$ a day for Leroy’s bus alone? That was some straight up bullshit. 225 000$ by the end of our tour? Thank god he’s covering at least 60 percent of the amount, ‘cause we still have to pay both for our bus and the roadie bus. What does that add up to, knowing our bus is worth 550$ a day and so is the roadie bus? If the roadie bus and our bus together is... uhmm... around 200 000$, then put together and we have that half a million Leroy gave my mother.

„I’m so down for whatever it costs me just to keep Leroy’s face as far from me as possible. And that’s why I sold my liver on blackmarket...” Bailey joked. Yeah, ‘cause with the percentage we received wasn’t really enough, that’s why I was still in the Musician’s Institute working as a teacher. From time to time I got a bit curious to snoop around, seeing how most of the band lived as mere mortals in simple houses, Bailey hadn’t even bought herself one, she was still renting, and in the mean time Leroy was pulling up to the studio in a very shiny Ford Mustang and had just bought a manor, I had to ask, what kinda percent was he getting out of this? Knowing out of a single concert where the income was around 250k, I got 9k and some pennies. Roughly saying over a tour I made 540k.

„Can you drink if you don’t have a liver?” Oh god, did he really think she didn’t have a liver? Although, to think about it, that was kinda possible.

„I’m not sure, let’s make an experiment...”

„Bails,” I took the black cushion off my face, „We’re not even out of Orange County yet...”

„I know, isn’t that amazing?” She smirked and took a swig of her flask.

„I’m serious, Bails...” I continued. It was hard time believing she hadn’t been out partying her whole night away yesterday, so I thought she could hold on to soberness for at least until we left Orange County.

„Fine, mom...” She rolled her eyes, placing the flask back in it’s place. The only thing that ever got close to her heart was booze. Figures.

„Can anyone, please, explain me how Leroy got a bus to all by himself and I’m stuck here with you all?”

„Ian?” I turned my head to see our handsome producer barely get through the entrance of the tour bus, carrying all those suitcases with him. What the hell was he doing here?

„I mean no disrespect to any of you, although you are kinda getting on my last nerves, but seriously tho... What happened to producers booking first class airplanes and having limo’s?” He placed his designer made suitcases by my feet, before he looked around with a disgusted face. „No really, god, why do you hate me so much?”

„Umm, mind telling us what are you doing here, producer person?” I questioned, not really understanding a single thing that’s happening.

„This is that damned time of the year where my contract tells me I’m on a fucking journey of finding new talent. Like my life wasn’t miserable enough.”

„I hope you didn’t have that attitude when you stumbled over us,” Bailey sat up eying Ian, who really looked nothing like the Ian we knew. His hair was a mess, he had dark bags under his eyes and boy, he really smelled like a dead animal.

„You know judging by your aroma, I think this is exactly where you’re supposed to be,” I pinched my nose as he looked over his shoulder at me. „just saying...”

„My girlfriend kicked me out, so sorry if shower gel and cologne wasn’t on the top of the priority list,” He rubbed his palms over his face, as Chris tried opening one of his bags very silently, „Everything I managed to get are in those fucking bags... God, when did I get this pathetic?”

„So instead of shower gel you took... what the hell even is that thing, Chris?” Our guitarist shrugged holding something that looked like a miniature version of an ant farm. And to be completely frank it looked like I was right.

„Fuck, give that back!” Ian jumped to his feet, snatching the glass cube out of Chris’s sneaky, yet long fingers.

„Oh hells to the no, Ian...” Bailey exclaimed and was that the flask in her hand... I mean, again? Really? „That thing is not staying here... I’m drunk 24 hours of the day and my eyes are fucked up, I have no idea what I’m sitting on or to this matter – stepping on...”

„Look, I’ll keep it in my bunk, you won’t have to worry about it...”

„Fuck, man, that’s disgusting even for my standards...” Chris winced and soon enough with a disgusted expression on his face disappeared in the bunk area.

„If I would’ve known I’d have gave you my flea farm,” My new and super awesome phone vibrated under my ass, forcing me to snatch it out of the pocket. A text from Brian?

Sorry I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye, we had to leave earlier than I thought. Meet you in Seattle?

Yeah, last time when we were on tour and got to Seattle, things weren’t going very well between us. Last thing I remembered from that tour was ditching in the middle of it.

If you don’t appear with a Pumpkin shit in a cup, i think we’ll be good.

„So are we set guys, or we’re waiting for someone else?” The newest member to our crew – the designated driver and my guitar tech Luke, shouted from the front.

„No, we’re good, Lukemeister, let’s get this thing rolling!” I shouted feeling my phone vibrate again.

I won’t even go nowhere near starbucks and that’s a promise. Short shit says hi.

„So who’s gonna be sleeping in the master bedroom for the first week?” I raised my eyes to look at my band mates.

„Me and I’m not saying that as your producer, but as a friend who has just been kicked out of his home,” Ian spoke up.

„Though luck, Fabio,” Bailey started, not even moving her eyes from the screen of her phone, „When it comes to the master suite, there’s no ‘I’m your friend’ and certainly no ‘They just kicked me out’ shit going on... If we’d go by that I’d be sleeping in that sweet, sweet goodness for the time being.”

„Bullshit... You’re an awful friend, Bails.” I laughed.

„Exactly.” She confirmed, „I’d say Frank, he needs the silence to write that mambo jambo stuff for the record.”

„Agreed.” I nodded, „Frank! Get your shit together and pronto!”

„What?” He peeked from over the driver’s zone. And to make it a bit clearer to you, the tour bus doesn’t have rooms, it has zones. The designated driver zone which ends as soon as all the fun starts, then there’s the living space or zone or as we know it the bundle of madness, where we all get shitfaced or just scroll through our phones like we do right now, then’s the baby making zone a.k.a. the bunk area and our recording studio type of zone – the master bedroom. „Are you kicking me out? I thought you guys didn’t like Paul...”

„What? No. The master bedroom...it’s yours.”

„What?”

„But then again if you don’t want it—„

„No, no, I’m going.” I smiled. Wise choice. I decided to tipe an answer back to mr Gates.

Tell dipshit if he wouldn’t be so short, i’d give him a high-five. Twinks signing out. Peace.

I pressed the send button and threw the phone somewhere over my head, figuring it would be wise to take a nap before the show, but of course someone had to ruin my plan.

„OH MY FUCKING GOD!?” Chris yelled and I heard him stumbling his way from the bunks. „Oh my fucking god!” He repeated looking down on his phone.

„What? Did Capcom finally go in bankrupt?” asked Bailey not the least bit of interest to her voice as she scrolled through her phone. I cracked a smile, fixing the cushion under my head. „’Cause that would be rad.”

„Take that back!” Chris screamed, jumping on her petite built.

„Mother of—„

„I said take it back!”

„Okay, okay, jeez, I take it back...” Bailey hissed, pushing Chris to the ground. „Asswad...”

„What is it?” questioned Ian and I haven’t even noticed when he had made himself that comfy upon my legs with a macbook in his lap. Had he no respect towards others?

„Your fucking boyfriend met Zakk Wylde!”

„What?” I frowned, „How do you know?”

„Zacky just posted a picture on the instagram...”

„Since when do you have an instagram?”

„Look!” It was just a matter of moments, before Chris’s phone was in my face and I had to shove his hand away just to see the darn thing. Yup, that was Zakk. Good for him, but I met him already last year. But what the hell was that? In that picture with him Zacky and Wylde, was that the fucking merch girl... What’s her face... Kathy? No, no, no, FUCK NO! I wasn’t ready to chew on this.

Was she touring with them... yet a-fucking-gain?

„I’m more interested in who the fuck is that?” I asked angrily, pointing out to the dark headed creature in the picture next to Brian.

„Oh... That’s Kathy, the chick who tried to poison you...”

Cool. So there will be Pumpkin’s shit in someone’s cup. And for those who didn’t know, dad used to call me Pumpkin when I was little.


Brian’s POV

At the bar, as I sat watching all those girls pole dancing and putting their legs up past their heads, I couldn’t help, but really mentally thank all those parents who sent their little girls off to ballet and gymnastics, just so I would one day have something to watch while sipping my beer.

My phone vibrated, bringing the attention away from that hottie in front of me and to the text I received. Tell dipshit if he wouldn’t be so short, i’d give him a high-five. Twinks signing out. Peace. I chuckled, looking over Johnny to see him sinking in that lapdance Shads just payed for. I figured to let him have his fair share of fun tonight.

„So how are things with you and Meg?” Matt finally asked and to be completely honest, I felt a bit disrepectful right now. Having a conversation about her in a strip club? I wonder what did it feel like – lap dancing and in the mean time having to put up with shit about the girls of the paying dickheads?

„Fine, I guess...” I shrugged, before hooking a twenty on that thong which had been flashing my face for the last ten minutes, before I made a good slap on her ass, „thank you, babe. I think I’ll be good for now...”

„Always a pleasure, suga’.” Another Bostonian? What was it with me and these Boston chicks?

„Don’t you think she’ll kick your ass, once she finds out about Kathy?” Matt asked as I sipped on my bear.

„Yeah, man, she tried to poison her,” Zacky, you too?

„Look, this time it’s different. Meg has her own bus and I talked it out with Kathy. Once Meg hops on, she’s out. Easy...” They were all really killing my buzz, which I didn’t fucking need. I had to be blind to miss those condemnatory looks they were sending me. So the wisest decision to shut them all out was to shotgun my beer.

„Gates, man, I still don’t really think you’re comprehending the whole situation,” Zacky started, „It’s all fun and games with Meg as long as she’s down with the whole thing,”

„Yeah, dude, I don’t think she’d like the whole ‘groupie’ idea...” Matt agreed. What the fuck was this? A goddamned intervention? Didn’t I know my own fucking girlfriend?

„Are you guys talking about Meg?” Oh hello, dipshit, how nice of you to join us. Note the sarcasm. „I remember seeing her pissed once, man, I nearly shat my pants...”

„You shit your pants daily, short-shit,” Zacky laughed, „but he’s right, Gates. No one wants to be around when the shit hits the fan with Meg...”

„Look, I came here to have a great fucking time with my best friends, but all you do is kill my buzz, so fuck you all...” I dropped a twenty on the table, before pulling out of the booth.

„Gates, don’t do anything stupid,” Matt warned. I just waved him off. I didn’t need no instructions about how to live my life.

As I was about to walk out of the club, Kathy walked inside, scanning the place, searching for someone. With a playful smirk on my lips, I went up to her, „Looking for me?”


Matt’s POV.

„I can’t believe he’s still playing by the same book of rules...” I sipped on my beer, seeing how Gates flirted his way with Kathy. If Megan Hills would be the same fucking thing as Michelle DiBenedetto, then I’d be down for him having sex with whomever, but knowing Megan Hills was anything, but Michelle, we had a bit of a trouble.

„Yeah, I know,” Zacky replied, „but I guess that’s just typical Gates.”

„Why doesn’t he ever listen?” I frowned, knowing I’ll have to lie to Meg very, very soon and I really fucking didn’t want that. Sure, I’ll always stick up for Gates, but just the thought of me being forced to lie to the daughter of our best guitar tech made me want to punch Syn a couple of times.

„Ah, just let him go, guys,” Johnny spoke, as if it was no big deal, „We’ve done what we could.”

„I’m not the type to say ‘I told you so’, but, hell, this time I’ll be screaming that shit in his face, when he’ll come begging for help.” Zacky emptied his glass. I think the hardest part was to just see him jump in the same hole he had just crawled out from. That wasn’t Brian, that was Synyster Gates returning from his yearly slumber.

Notes