Okay... Chicken? Check. Beans? Check. A bottle of Jack for dad? Check. A bottle of Jack for me? Double fucking check. My fake ID? Check, check and check!

I smiled looking down on my shopping list while pushing the cart down the isle. Even tho I just got fired from my waitress job, my head still couldn’t get rid of the thought that I couldn’t allow myself every fucking nonsense that I wanted, for example these pizza flavor Pringles. Oh and of course, let’s not forget the Twinkies! Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas if I wouldn’t stuff my face with that creamy goodness I loved America for. Now where exactly where they?

As soon as I got to the section they sold all those goodies for faties, a tall and slender guy was getting his sneaky little fingers on my Twinkies! Oh, hells no!

„Oh hey... The last one, this must be my lucky day!” The guy cheered, while I rushed myself over to him. Well I’ll be damned if I spent my Christmas without my beloved Twinkies. As if my life wasn’t hard enough.

„Yeah, that’s cool, Jimmy,” Another guy spoke, not even raising his eyes from the bottle of Laphroaig he was holding.

„Uhmm, excuse me... I believe that’s mine.” There was no way in hell I was going to give up that sugary goodness without a fight, so get ready pal.

„Oh look, a little leprechaun... Gates, can we keep it?” He exclaimed, a huge smile growing on his face. Uhmm... what? I was no fucking leprechaun, just because he was tall and fucking stoned, didn’t mean I was short, Irish and I had a pot of gold. Well I was short, but I certainly wasn’t fucking Irish and to think about it, I did have some pot in my pocket. Huh... Look at that, I was almost a leprechaun... It came to my notice, that his finger just poked my cheek.

„Hey, fingers off, Eifel tower!” I snapped, hitting his hand away.

„Gates! It just spoke! So cool!” Dude, what the hell have you been smoking? I was just left there to stand and blink for a couple of times. Who would’ve thought a creapy looking guy like him would be such a fucking goofball?

„Come on, Jimbo, leave the girl alone, we have places to be...” The shorter one finally raised his eyes from the bottle, but only to look at what I thought he considered to be a fine piece of ass passing us by. It was rather too obvious what kind of an asshole that guy was. The stupid kind of course.

„No, Eiffel tower here has my Twinkies,” I hissed, „You,” I stepped forward and pushed a finger in Eiffel’s chest, „Are leaving with those only over my dead body...”

„A persistent little leprechaun you are,” He frowned raising his arms in defense, still holding that pack of Twinkies.

„You got that right, now pass me those Twinkies!” I tapped his chest a couple of times, and each time he jumped to my touch.

„Is this a stick up?” He questioned, rubbing the place I had just poked.

„Damn right it is. Now hand over the twinkies... and everything you have in your pockets.”

„Everything in my pockets?” He cocked an eyebrow, „Mis leprechaun, you really don’t wanna go there...” He was still holding his arms up as I pointed my imaginary gun towards him. Man, this was fucking fun. I had to give him credit for making my Christmas little less sucky.

„Chop, chop, Eiffel...” I gestured him to quicken the pace, shooting a glance toward Sonic the hedgehog, who seemed like he was in a fully different universe, while browsing that section of chocolate bars.

„Ha, you snooze you loose!” Eiffel exclaimed, throwing himself around and running for the cash registers. Oh hells to the no! He didn’t just make a run for it... That sneaky tall bastard. I took the shopping cart and could honestly admit that was really the first time in my life I had ran after someone just to see him already paying for it. Goddammit!

„That’s not fair... you have long legs...” I pouted while emptying my shopping cart. I never thought standing in a check-out line would be this depressing, knowing they were out of Twinkies and Eiffel here had the very last pack. Well I guess someone’s walking off to Slater to get herself a pack of Twinkies oh and look it’s only 9 pm...

As soon as he had payed for that sugary goodness, he turned to face me, placing the package in my hand, „Merry Christmas, mis Leprechaun...” A wide smile grew upon his lips.

Every single Christmas since Jimmy passed, I went to the same place where I’d met him for the first time – the candy section of Wallmart. And each year I remembered the day with a smile on my face. Since Jimmy passed there was no-one left to share the same awesome taste for Twinkies, but I knew, where-ever he was, he was bathing in a ton of Twinkies, rinsing them down with a bottle of Jack, while Leprechaun’s chanted his name.

Exactly right every other year around this time, Wallmart was completely out of Twinkies, so to get the last package of the sugary goodness, it appeared on my this years agenda was to fight off a kid.

As I walked up to him, I noticed a pair of the bluest eyes I’ve seen and the widest smile anyone had smiled me in years. „Mom, look a leprechaun!” He jerked on the lining of her mom’s dress, while pointing my direction. Holly hell, my heart stopped for a moment, that was until I heard an irish accent behind my back. Fucking Wallmat...

And if you think I didn’t snatch the Twinkies out of that kids hand, while he was too distracted by a leprechaun behind my back, you really have another thing coming. I’d give anything up for a pack of Twinkies on Christmas, and no, even the Jimmy resemblance I saw in that kid didn’t keep me from robbing him.

_______

„I’ve reached a new low in my life,” I notified as I walked through the front door, dropping my keys on the coffee table next to the door, „I just robbed a kid off a pack of Twinkies...”

I heard someone snooping around the Christmas tree, but none responded.

„Haner?” I asked, kicking my boots off and letting the leather jacket slide off my shoulders, before I put it on a hanger. I swear I heard someone in the living room, karma better won’t be kicking me in the ass and sending a burglar off to this house.

As I went over the doorstep I saw something tattooed and something red placing something humongous under the Christmas tree. Was that a red hat I saw on his head? And people said Santa didn’t exist, just look at Haner rocking that red fedora with a week old stubble on his face. „What are you doing?”

„Oh hey, just fixing your Christmas present...”

„You got me a present?” I looked over a big box with green wrapping and a red ribbon. Well... right now I felt like shit for not getting him anything. Fuck... Should’ve saved that Twinkie for him... Goddammit.

„Sure I did... Aren’t you gonna open it?” Well, if he insisted... I walked over to the big box, pulling it towards me as I knelt down. Holy shit, it was heavy... I ripped off the wrapping to see leather... Black leather .. A fucking guitar case? I looked up at him, „Open it...” You don’t have to say me twice... Once I opened the case I saw the most beautiful, most artsy, most expensive looking Schecter I’d ever seen.

„Are you fucking kidding me? You gave me a custom made Schecter?” Well now I was indeed feeling like shit. But a happy shit. I had a custom made Schecter for christ sake!

„That’s why Michelle was over... She worked on the design, Meg...” My index finger slid over the body, which was from the Avenger series, the same Syn’s gun’s had. To the far left it had an animated skull of what supposed to be me. I’ve seen a similar gun somewhere, I think McKenna had something like this, only instead of the striped corpse, this one had a solid black body with what it seemed to look like drops of blood. To think about it – my skull was more of a zombie cross over with a skull type of thing.

„Okay, you do know I’m too broke to get you anything, right?” I looked up to see him smiling widely.

„I know, that’s why I got myself a gift.” He passed me a black box from behind his back. It had golden letter right in the center of it - La Perla. Oh jeez, please don’t tell me it is what I think it is... I took off the lid just to see the thinnest piece of fabric, folded inside the box.

„You know, I really don’t see why you got through all the trouble to get me a new set of underwear. You could’ve just went fishing in the closet and picked out one of my stage outfits...” I snickered, raising my eyes to the face, who had suddenly gotten very close to me.

„Yeah... I know, but you can’t imagine how thrilling was it to walk inside one of those shops and really buy something, not only pretend so I’d get laid.” He took the box away and threw it on the couch, before resting his hands on my hips.

„So correct me if I’m wrong, but you picked up girls in a boutique?” My hands rested on his shoulders, „Well no wonder I hated you... hell, closest to a boutique I’ve been was when I snook in the dressing room of that strip joint in Westminster.” Which, speaking between you and me, scarred me for life. Hearing the voice of my favorite stripper and realizing that she was a he, really made me think twice before I snook in anywhere since then.

„How old were you?” He frowned, still I could see he was in a very playfull mood.

„I don’t know... 19, 20? Something like that... Why?”

„And your dad had nothing against you chilling in a strip club?”

„Well, he was the one to drop me off in Westminster in the first place...” I laughed, concealing the part where I was actually the bartender slash waitress of the joint. I could see how confused Brian got, „I worked in the club...”

„Now I can see where you got your stage moves from. You really were poor, weren’t you...” he sounded a bit too sympathetic. Hey, I loved my job, what better to do than make drinks and look at tits?

„Well, it’s true... I didn’t have that much money. In fact, everything I did manage to make through the night I gave away to Charity. A funny name for a stripper, but hell she worked hard for it.” I laughed, remembering the blond shorty in a white latex outfit. She was the sweetest of them all. Even gave me a lap dance once or twice.

„Since you have the experience, we could remember the past and you could give me a performance as a Christmas gift...” Stupid, stupid Haner. Did he really think they would’ve hired me as a stripper? Hell, I’d liked that, but luckily for my already besides that ruined reputation, they considered my boobs too small and my thighs too fat to roll around a poll every single day.

„Oh you mean wacking assholes with a bottle of Johnnie Walker?” Imagine my surprise when Haner started looking like clueless duck. I figured I had to explain some things to him, „I was a bartender, dickhead...”

„Fuck, Meg!” He let go of me as he moved to the couch with a frown, „Why’d you turn me on like that and just tell me you were a bartender? That’s fucking cruel!” He sat down, arms crossed over his chest.

„Hey, look, I feel your pain, man,” I started as I walked over to him, „Imagine how bumed was I when they took in 60-something-grandma with one boob, instead of me. Hell, I cried for a week straight...”

„You really wanted to be a stripper?”

„Look, Haner, sorry to ruin your fantasies about the female species, but no... No one wants to be a stripper, just like no-one wants to be stuck with you, but hey, somebody has to do it...” I laughed as he pulled me closer.

„Fucking bitch...” He smirked, while kissing my temple.

Notes

Hey, thanks guys for all the feedback and I agree they're dorks, but hey, that's why we all love them so much, right?

And I think their tour will start off in the next chapters. That is if I won't play a lazy piece of shit.