*~*Kamalei’s POV*~*

A soft knock on the door made me jump a little from my spot on the bed in front of my laptop.

“Lei? It’s almost time for dinner.” Matt said thru the door.

“Matthew? Kamalei, I want to see your brother.” My mother said thru the skype window.

“Matt, come say hi to my mom.” I said as he opened the door and came over to the screen.

He waved, “Hi Mama! How are you?”

“I’m good. I hope Ms. Sanders is behaving herself.” She replied.

“She is. She’s got not only one job but two now.” He said smiling.

“So she said. Well I better let you two go. You have a good time on tour alright? I love you both and give my love to everyone!” She said.

“Love you too Mama. I’ll skype you next week from wherever we are.” I said before saying goodbye and closing the laptop.

“Everyone is going to be here soon...” he said trailing off and looking around the room at my clothes and half-packed bags, “How you doing?”

“I’m fine. Just have to put everything together…” I replied.

He looked at me defeated, “Lei, I know it’s not fine but you refuse to let us help you and I’m just worried about you. We all are. If you want to do this on your own, we can’t stop you but please just promise me something?”

“What?”

“Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t hurt yourself or anything like that please. We all love you and you are a part of this family. Promise me?” He said, our hazel eyes matching each other’s.

“I promise big brother. I love you too.”

“Why don’t you change your clothes and come down for dinner okay?” He asked sadly.

“Okay. Do I need to be fancy?” I asked.

He smirked, “No but you can’t wear your pajamas. I ought to burn those things so you will wear something else.”

“I wear other clothes…” I said looking down at my old Pantera shirt.

“Not this week you haven’t… get changed and come down.” He said as he walked to the door and left.

I looked at all of my clothes strewn on the bed and found a pair of jeans and a soft oversized grey sweater. I went over to the mirror again and looked at my reflection.

I look like shit. I need a shower. Look at this hair! It will never allow a simple brush thru it unless I wash it.

“WE HAVE ARRIVED!!! VALARY WHERE BE THE FOODS!?!?!” I heard Jimmy call from downstairs.

Great they’re all here.

I could hear a number of voices belonging to my brother’s best friends and I waited until they died down before I opened the door and went towards the bathroom.

“Lei?”

I heard him call my name and the tears instantly flooded my eyes as I looked over the railing. There stood everyone and they all had their eyes fixated on me. I felt ashamed, not only at my current appearance but at my actions to everyone for the past week. I had sent everyone away without opening the bedroom door, even at night, instead cuddling up with Bella and Baby. I shifted uncomfortably, clutching my clothes to my chest as my brother came out from the kitchen and saw my discomfort.

“Kamalei, go ahead and get ready baby girl.” He reassured me with his dimpled smile.

I nodded my head before putting it down and walking the few steps more to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I waited quietly for the questions and the whispers to start but they never came, instead my brother ushering everyone outside and away from me. I set my things down on the counter and turned the water to the shower on.

Letting the warm water run over my body felt better than I had expected it to. I let myself cry out some of my remaining emotions, this being my last chance before everyone was badgering me with questions. I showered quickly and got dressed. I dried my hair as much as possible with the towel before putting it back on the hook and making my way quickly back to my bedroom. I sat at my vanity and brushed my hair of tangles, letting the ringlets naturally curl down my back. My face was still a little puffy and I thought about putting on makeup deciding against it as it would be too much effort to just be ruined in a few hours anyway. I stood in front of the mirror looking myself over and realizing this was as good as it was going to get for now.

I made my way out of my room and could hear everyone outside in the backyard laughing and joking. I stood in the kitchen taking a slow, deep breath before going outside to join everyone.

Matt had set up the patio furniture so we could all eat outside in the nice evening air under the soft outdoor lights hanging from the overhang of the house. As soon as I stepped outside the previous conversation stopped and everyone turned to me. I felt everyone’s eyes burning into me, making me feel uneasy and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“You look really nice Lei.” Leana spoke up first, patting the seat next to her, “Come sit.”

“Thank you.” I said quietly walking around the table.

Johnny started up his conversation again, but I couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying as I looked down at the ground, feeling Zacky’s eyes watching me as I avoided the seat next to him to take the one between Leana and my brother.

Leana reached over and hugged me, rubbing small circles on my back, “I’m glad you joined us.”

“Yeah, little Lei-Lei. I missed you a lot.” Jimmy said reaching over and playfully pinching my arm.

“I missed you guys too.” I said softly.

I looked across the table at Kelly sitting directly in front of me, Brian to her left, Zacky to her right. I glanced over at him for a second and saw him sadly staring at me. I looked back at Kelly and she mouthed, “You okay?” at me. I nodded and tried to listen to Johnny’s story.

We ate dinner, Leana chatting lightly and asking me questions about myself since we hadn’t gotten to know each other previously. I was thankful for her questions as they distracted me from the glares Zacky was giving me throughout dinner.

After dinner I stood to help Val take the dishes into the house, walking around and collecting everyone’s plates while she took the larger dishes inside. I got around the table to Zacky and I reached down to grab it from in front of him, him grabbing my wrist lightly as I did.

“Can we talk…privately?” he said quietly.

“I have nothing to say to you.” I said wrenching my wrist from his hold.

“Please Lei?” he begged looking in my eyes.

“Fine. Later.” I told him grabbing his plate and taking it inside.

If I was lucky, I could quickly wash the dishes and make it back upstairs to my room before he had a chance to catch me alone. I set the stack of plates down next to the sink and began rolling my sleeves up.

“Go back outside and visit with everyone sweetie. We’ve all missed you being around.” Val said unbeknownst that she was foiling my plan.

I couldn’t argue with her even if I wanted to. I missed them too. I had been alone and wallowing in my own sorrows for the week, practically forgetting these people, my family, were really fun to be around. I went back outside and sat in Val’s seat next to my brother and Brian. This time Brian reached over and slung his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to his side.

“Missed you Lei.” He said kissing the top of my head, “So has Kelly.”

“I know… I’m sorry.” I said looking down and playing with the hem of my sweater.

“It’s okay. We just want you to know we’re always here for you if you need anything. We love you.” He said quietly.

“Thanks. I love you guys too…” I said before standing up.

“Where are you going?” Matt questioned.

“I’ll be right back. Bathroom.” I said walking in the house and down the hall to the bathroom.

I didn’t have to go but I needed to get away from everyone for a moment. It was becoming rather overwhelming quickly and I took a few deep breaths as I leaned on the sink counter. I looked into the mirror and tucked some loose strands of my hair behind my ear before opening the door and walking out.

I bumped into something hard and almost fell back when two tattooed arms caught me. I knew it was Zacky by the smell before I even had to look at the colorful artwork on his arms. I didn’t want to look at him for the fear of bursting into tears was too likely. I moved away from him and turned to go upstairs before he grabbed my wrist.

“Wait, Lei! Please!” he pleaded.

I tugged at his hold on me, “Come on then.” I said going upstairs to my bedroom.

I shut the door behind him, locking it, “What do you want?” I asked coldly.

“I want to say I’m sorry. Did you get any of my messages?” he asked sitting quietly on the edge of my bed.

“They weren’t WORTH my time. Get to the point.” I said finding a sudden inner strength.

“Lei, please… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you at first. My brother’s an idiot and I’m so sorry he did that to you. Did he try to call you or anything?” he said reaching out to grab my hand as I quickly moved out of his reach and leaned against the dresser.

“No. He’s lucky I care about my brother’s career enough not to tell him and let him beat the fuck out of him.” I replied.

“If he comes anywhere near you, please just tell me. I’ll kill him personally. I hate that he did that to you Lei.”

“Are you done?” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

“No, I’m sorry for what I did. I got mad and thought you and my brother were hooking up. It was stupid but I thought since you did it, why can’t I? So, I went and found Sarah and took her up to my room. I swear nothing more happened than what you walked in on and for that I’m sorry. Please Lei,” he said grabbing my hand and rubbing it softly, “I’m sorry. She means nothing to me. Nothing happened. She’s not… you.”

I pulled my hand away from him, turning my back to him as I choked back the sobs threatening to escape. I went over to my phone on the nightstand, picking it up and finding the voicemail that he sent that night.

“Explain this then. Doesn’t sound like nothing happened.” I said as I replayed the message to him.

He listened to the message and ran his hand over his face, “Lei, I swear I turned her down. Please just forgive me.”

“I can’t Zacky. I just can’t. You told me I was worth it. That you’d wait for me. I almost get raped by your brother and then walk in to see you and her almost fucking. What kind of a friend are you to just lie to me like that?! To just play me like an idiot. Do you know how this made me feel?!” I was practically screaming at him now as I let my tears fall.

“Lei, I know it looks bad but I swear it’s not like that. I’m sorry. I was drunk and high and I saw you and him and…” he started before I put my hand up to stop him.

“No Zack. No. Stop now. We all were at the same level so you can’t use that as an excuse. You have no idea how you made me feel when I saw you and… her.” My eyes full of tears as I yelled and cried, “Then to slap me in the face with it you leave me this message saying you love me and you’re sorry before I hear her telling you to forget about me!”

“I swear Lei I didn’t! You’ve been all I think about every day!”

“Don’t lie to me again. You fucked her! I know you did. She was pretty with her blonde hair and her pretty smile. She was flirting with you all night long and she waited until I wasn’t around to make sure I wouldn’t stop you. I’ve heard enough of your bullshit Zee. This is why I told you to leave me alone!” I shouted, hearing my brother’s heavy footsteps bounding up the stairs.

Two seconds later he was pounding on the door, “Lei!? You alright?! What’s going on?”

“Lei, please. I swear nothing happened. Please forgive me. You mean the world to me and I can’t stand not talking to you. Please Lei…” Zacky begged, dropping to his knees in front of me and grabbing my hand.

“Zacky are you in there!! Get out of there! LEI OPEN THE DOOR!” Matt yelled from the other side.

“Lei, I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I need you in my life. You are worth it. I made a mistake. Please Lei, forgive me. Please Lei, I love you.” He said the last part quietly as Matt continued banging on the door.

“I can’t. Get out of my room.” I said between my crying.

“Kamalei, please… I’m begging you.” Zacky pleaded as I ripped my hand from him.

“No. If you loved me then you wouldn’t have done what you did. Now, please leave.” I said unlocking the door and opening it, an angry brother on the other side.

“What’s going on here?! I heard you yelling and shit.” He said as I stepped aside.

“I’m leaving.” Zacky said hanging his head as he rushed past Matt not bothering to say bye to anyone else as I heard the front door slam behind him.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Matt yelled at me.

“It’s over. Don’t worry about it.” I said quietly pushing the door closed, Matt catching it before it closed.

“No! What is going on!?” he raged.

“I handled it. Just let me pack for tomorrow.” I said wiping my tears.

“You aren’t alright. I’m not leaving.” Matt said pushing in the room, “Not until you tell me what’s going on with you and Zack.”

I walked over to my suitcase, finding clothes off the bed that I had intended to pack, setting them inside before answering him, “We got in a fight at the party alright.”

“About what? Did he yell at you again like last time?” He said the anger rising.

“No. It’s nothing Matt. Please…” I said drawing in a ragged breath, “Please just let it go.”

He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly as I let myself cry, “Alright. If that’s what you want, I’ll let it go.”

“Please, it’s what I want. I want to deal with it on my own. I know you’re my big brother and you want to protect me from everything, but you can’t do that forever.”

“I know but when I see you like this, it worries me. I don’t know what happened between you and him but to see you do a full 180 from happy to depressed like that, I can’t say I like it. You guys are like best friends and now what?” he asked as he let me go.

“Now… I don’t know what now… I guess we aren’t friends.” I said sniffling as I looked down trying to hide my crying.

He hugged me again causing me to burst into tears, “I’m sorry Lei. I hope you and him can be friends again. You going to be okay to go tomorrow? I can have you stay with dad for a few weeks and you can meet up with us later when you feel better…”

“No!” I exclaimed, “I want to go tomorrow. Please don’t leave me behind.”

“Okay, I won’t. You and him going to fight the whole time?” he asked me brushing my hair out of my face.

“No. I promise I won’t. I’ll do my job with Val and be good. I promise.” I said as I looked up at him.

“Alright. Now, stop crying and finish packing up.” He said wiping a tear from my cheek, “Unless you want to come down and spend some time with everyone.”

“I think I should finish packing. I’m going to see them for the next few months every day.” I smirked.

“Okay. I love you and stop crying.” He said kissing my forehead before making his way to the door, “He’s hardly worth your tears…”

I stood there looking at the closed door trying to hold in my tears, but they still managed to escape my eyes.

If only I could trick my heart into thinking that's true…

Notes

Happy Friday the 13th! Here's a chapter to satisfy the reader cravings... lol. Hope everyone enjoys it! I'd love to hear what you all think! Mahalo for reading and for all of your comments, I really do love them! Probably another update early next week. Much love and Aloha <3 <3 <3 XoXo