Don't Respect the Words You're Speaking
Self-righteousness is wearing thin
*Chirp...Chirp*
" FU, damn birds" I said pulling the blanket over my head.
A door slammed and running echoed throughout the hallway. My door was swung open and the feet stomping didn't stop till they were right in front of me.
" MOMMA! wake up" my little boy yelled as he tugged on my blanket. I sat up giving myself a slight headache. I picked up Oli and pulled him into a hug. Not once in my life was i so happy to wake up.
" OHHHHH I MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH" I pulled us apart and he just looked at me. I gave him a smile and looked up to Matt and Johnny staring at me. " what did you guys do" I looked back down to Oli, who moved around so he was facing his Uncles and sat directly in the center of my lap.
" Uncle Johnny took me to the Arcade this morning and yesterday we went to see the new Batman movie, then ate were there was a bunches of pretty ladies" I looked up to Johnny and he just smiled as he picked up Oli and started to walk out the door with him.
" I thought we weren't going to be menchining that" I laughed as I stood up grabbing my back, pulling out some close.
" So when you going to go see Zacky" He said grabbing my bracelets that I wear almost every day.
" after i eat" I grabbed them along with my make up and cell phone.
Before I could shut the bathroom door, Matt decided to stop it. " Your sure about that"
" Yea, I want to celebrate Oli's birthday without having to look over my shoulders every 10 seconds" He nodded and let me shut the door.
After getting ready and convincing my self over and over again that I'm doing the right thing. I went the to kitchen to see Oli sitting on Jimmy's lap eating some pancakes and blueberries.
" Your kid is fucking awesome" I tossed a empty soda can at Jimmy.
" Watch your language" Oli laughed. " Tell me something I don't know"
" When I was a kid you'd need a god damn crow bar to get me to eat ANY fruit or veggies" I shrugged.
" He likes food" I said playing with Oli's hair and kissed him on the cheek. Valary handed me a plate with some pancakes. " Thank you" I sat down with them and started to eat.
We started to talk about their next concert and who they would be touring with. Oli tried relentlessly to convince his uncles to bring him along. He got to see a show last year and loved it.
" We will think about it" Syn said him up and spinning around in a circle.
" UNCLE SYNYSTER!!! IM GONNA PUKE" I laughed. Syn set him down on the floor and we watched as he tried to catch his balance.
" I don't see why you call everyone else by their normal name and I'm Uncle Synyster" I stood up and placed my plate in the sink.
" Cause your name is boring" I said hugging him then bent down and hugged Oli. " Mommy's gotta go do some stuff, but after words were gonna go to the zoo and have your party. Mkay?" He nodded.
Jimmy came over to me as i grabbed my phone. " I'll drive you" I nodded and waved to everyone as we walked down the drive way. When he started to drive I looked back seeing Johnny and Brian watching us with sad expressions.
" They look at me like I'm having to give up my kid" I said, turning to look at Jimmy. He stayed quiet and just let the radio fill the car.
" ... did you ever think of telling him. It would have been much easier" I kept on staring out the window.
" I don't do things to make it easier, I do things that I think is right" He stopped the car at a condo that was a street or two away from the beach.
" Yea, I respect that. Here you go. did you call?" I knew I forgot something.
" Let me see your phone" He went ahead and dialed his number for me.
" Ay' Jimmy... I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have di...." Zacky said as he answered the phone.
" I'm outside" He stopped and sucked in a deep breath of air.
" Silver"
" Yea" I said looking out to the house, feeling EXTREMELY sick now.
" Alright, come on in" He was now standing outside with the door open behind him. He stood there in his boxers like he wasn't in front of a place where people were outside doing yard work or playing. I hung up the phone and gave Jimmy a hug.
" If you need me just call and I'll rush my pretty ass down here as fast as I can" I laughed and got out, watching him drive away.
There I stood only a couple of feet away from Zacky... I looked down placing my hands in my pocket and walked up the steps to be standing directly in front of him.
" This is a bit of a surprise" He said rubbing the back of his neck. I looked around seeing one of his lady neighbors pointing at him and smiling wide. Despite how long we've been broken up it still pissed me off.
" Yea lets talk about it inside" he nodded and walked inside, I followed. He had pictures up of the guys and there tours a couple of his guitars lied here and there and there was a big screen with some game consoles surrounding it.
" Nice place" He nodded and sat down on a chair. " Mind putting on some close" He laughed and just stared at me.
" Like you haven't seen this all before. The only difference is some new tattoo's" this time i was the one to laugh.
" Yea... and a couple pounds gained" I sat down on the couch and looked at the coffee table in front of me. There was a picture of me and him kissing. " Doesn't this picture make you sad"
" Na... reminds me of the good times. Which lets talk about them" I placed the picture down and looked at him.
" What do you want to know" He sat straight up.
" Why'd you leave"
" Cause Genell called the house ... lets just say i wasn't happy" He looked at me then looked down.
" There was another reason " He looked at me.
" Why do you say that"
" Because you stopped talking to me DAYS before that happened. Plus i know that the guys are hiding something from me... I just don't know what" I shrugged.
" I was sick of the life style" He got pissed and stood up walking over to me. He put his arms on either sides of me. I just looked up at him, being like this reminded me of the first time we kissed. He smiled probably thinking of the same thing.
" You didn't get sick of it, you just didn't like me anymore.... you were right your not my dream the band is. My dreams became a reality... what about yours Silver" Zacky yelled at me, I glared back.
" Maybe mine would have been a reality if I didn't get pregnant with your baby, Zacky!" I screamed, his face dropped. And at that point I realized that I made the biggest mistake ever, I told him about Oliver.
" What?" He said barely able to get that out. I darted under his arm and towards the door. he came closer to me and reached for my hand, but i yanked away
" Leave me alone Zackary" I said almost in tears as I ran through the door.
" SILVER" He yelled after me.
" FU, damn birds" I said pulling the blanket over my head.
A door slammed and running echoed throughout the hallway. My door was swung open and the feet stomping didn't stop till they were right in front of me.
" MOMMA! wake up" my little boy yelled as he tugged on my blanket. I sat up giving myself a slight headache. I picked up Oli and pulled him into a hug. Not once in my life was i so happy to wake up.
" OHHHHH I MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH" I pulled us apart and he just looked at me. I gave him a smile and looked up to Matt and Johnny staring at me. " what did you guys do" I looked back down to Oli, who moved around so he was facing his Uncles and sat directly in the center of my lap.
" Uncle Johnny took me to the Arcade this morning and yesterday we went to see the new Batman movie, then ate were there was a bunches of pretty ladies" I looked up to Johnny and he just smiled as he picked up Oli and started to walk out the door with him.
" I thought we weren't going to be menchining that" I laughed as I stood up grabbing my back, pulling out some close.
" So when you going to go see Zacky" He said grabbing my bracelets that I wear almost every day.
" after i eat" I grabbed them along with my make up and cell phone.
Before I could shut the bathroom door, Matt decided to stop it. " Your sure about that"
" Yea, I want to celebrate Oli's birthday without having to look over my shoulders every 10 seconds" He nodded and let me shut the door.
After getting ready and convincing my self over and over again that I'm doing the right thing. I went the to kitchen to see Oli sitting on Jimmy's lap eating some pancakes and blueberries.
" Your kid is fucking awesome" I tossed a empty soda can at Jimmy.
" Watch your language" Oli laughed. " Tell me something I don't know"
" When I was a kid you'd need a god damn crow bar to get me to eat ANY fruit or veggies" I shrugged.
" He likes food" I said playing with Oli's hair and kissed him on the cheek. Valary handed me a plate with some pancakes. " Thank you" I sat down with them and started to eat.
We started to talk about their next concert and who they would be touring with. Oli tried relentlessly to convince his uncles to bring him along. He got to see a show last year and loved it.
" We will think about it" Syn said him up and spinning around in a circle.
" UNCLE SYNYSTER!!! IM GONNA PUKE" I laughed. Syn set him down on the floor and we watched as he tried to catch his balance.
" I don't see why you call everyone else by their normal name and I'm Uncle Synyster" I stood up and placed my plate in the sink.
" Cause your name is boring" I said hugging him then bent down and hugged Oli. " Mommy's gotta go do some stuff, but after words were gonna go to the zoo and have your party. Mkay?" He nodded.
Jimmy came over to me as i grabbed my phone. " I'll drive you" I nodded and waved to everyone as we walked down the drive way. When he started to drive I looked back seeing Johnny and Brian watching us with sad expressions.
" They look at me like I'm having to give up my kid" I said, turning to look at Jimmy. He stayed quiet and just let the radio fill the car.
" ... did you ever think of telling him. It would have been much easier" I kept on staring out the window.
" I don't do things to make it easier, I do things that I think is right" He stopped the car at a condo that was a street or two away from the beach.
" Yea, I respect that. Here you go. did you call?" I knew I forgot something.
" Let me see your phone" He went ahead and dialed his number for me.
" Ay' Jimmy... I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have di...." Zacky said as he answered the phone.
" I'm outside" He stopped and sucked in a deep breath of air.
" Silver"
" Yea" I said looking out to the house, feeling EXTREMELY sick now.
" Alright, come on in" He was now standing outside with the door open behind him. He stood there in his boxers like he wasn't in front of a place where people were outside doing yard work or playing. I hung up the phone and gave Jimmy a hug.
" If you need me just call and I'll rush my pretty ass down here as fast as I can" I laughed and got out, watching him drive away.
There I stood only a couple of feet away from Zacky... I looked down placing my hands in my pocket and walked up the steps to be standing directly in front of him.
" This is a bit of a surprise" He said rubbing the back of his neck. I looked around seeing one of his lady neighbors pointing at him and smiling wide. Despite how long we've been broken up it still pissed me off.
" Yea lets talk about it inside" he nodded and walked inside, I followed. He had pictures up of the guys and there tours a couple of his guitars lied here and there and there was a big screen with some game consoles surrounding it.
" Nice place" He nodded and sat down on a chair. " Mind putting on some close" He laughed and just stared at me.
" Like you haven't seen this all before. The only difference is some new tattoo's" this time i was the one to laugh.
" Yea... and a couple pounds gained" I sat down on the couch and looked at the coffee table in front of me. There was a picture of me and him kissing. " Doesn't this picture make you sad"
" Na... reminds me of the good times. Which lets talk about them" I placed the picture down and looked at him.
" What do you want to know" He sat straight up.
" Why'd you leave"
" Cause Genell called the house ... lets just say i wasn't happy" He looked at me then looked down.
" There was another reason " He looked at me.
" Why do you say that"
" Because you stopped talking to me DAYS before that happened. Plus i know that the guys are hiding something from me... I just don't know what" I shrugged.
" I was sick of the life style" He got pissed and stood up walking over to me. He put his arms on either sides of me. I just looked up at him, being like this reminded me of the first time we kissed. He smiled probably thinking of the same thing.
" You didn't get sick of it, you just didn't like me anymore.... you were right your not my dream the band is. My dreams became a reality... what about yours Silver" Zacky yelled at me, I glared back.
" Maybe mine would have been a reality if I didn't get pregnant with your baby, Zacky!" I screamed, his face dropped. And at that point I realized that I made the biggest mistake ever, I told him about Oliver.
" What?" He said barely able to get that out. I darted under his arm and towards the door. he came closer to me and reached for my hand, but i yanked away
" Leave me alone Zackary" I said almost in tears as I ran through the door.
" SILVER" He yelled after me.
@foREVerBlissful
Please post the 2nd part soon!
5/25/14