Don't Respect the Words You're Speaking
So you can maintain the lifestyle
"Thanks Brian, can you place that one into my car" He nodded and walked out the door with a box of my work equipment that I kept at home. It had been a week since the 'talk' with Zacky and I hadn't been back except to pick up Oliver and some clothes for us. Oliver came running down the stairs with a batman doll in one hand and Zacky's hand in the other.
"Mommy! I don't want to leave daddy" He came over to me and handed me the doll. "Can't we just stay here" I looked to Zacky, he didn't show any emotion on his face. He just looked straight at me, but it seemed as though he was looking threw me.
"Your daddy need's his space" Zacky snapped out of his trance and truely looked at me.
"Don't you dare put this on ME! It's all because of you, your to fucking scared to deal with anything" Oliver made an uh oh face and covered his mouth with his free hand.
"Watch your mouth" I growled back at him. He glared at me, picked up Oliver and started to walk out the door. "Where do you think your going with my son"
Zacky stopped and looked back to me. "He's my kid too. Where going to go have some fun before you take him away again" I sighed and started to shake my head.
"Your going to see hi..." He stopped me and slammed the door shut. I turned around to see Jimmy, Matt and Val all standing there looking at me like I was a TV show and they were waiting for something else to happen. "What!" I stormed off upstairs to grab another box. Somehow though I missed the boxes and went straight for Zacky's room.
His room was painted a gray color with thick black stripes randomly put up where his guitars hung. It wasn't the cleanest room in the house but he had stuff organized in places and his bed was made. On the side table was a picture frame that held a picture of his mom, him and Oliver when they went to visit her a little over a month ago. I was to scared to face her so I didn't go. I sat down and picked up the picture, but as I did that something slide out of his pillow and onto the floor making a small sound. I put the picture back and picked up the small box.
Inside was a picture of me and Zacky after we first meant. The edges were torn and worn, me and him still had the bright look though. We smiled at each other as if something huge just happened, but that was the way we looked at each other for a long time; nothing special ever had to happen for us to look like that. I placed the picture back in the box and lifted out a ring that was attatched to a necklace, it was the one that my mother had given me all those years ago. I gave it to Zacky to hold but he said he had lost it, I just remember being so angry with him for so long about it... but he didn't lost it.
Someone had knocked at the door. I shut the box and placed it back under his pillow. I looked back to see Matt standing at the door, looking back at me with the pity eyes that only ever seemed to be seen when I'm around.
" Stop looking at me like that" I stood up and walked out the door, he followed me.
"If you want to be with him so bad then why are you putting up such a fight." I picked up a box marked clothing and started down the stairs. "With you doing this it only makes it worse for you family"
"I don't want to get hurt again. It's not just me that would be hurt this time, it would be Oli too and I'll be damned if I let that happen." I placed the box in the back of Matt's truck and turned around to see him with his arms crossed and him shaking his head. I walked past him and back into the house. "If you don't agree with me then Matt, then just go. I don't need my own brother judging me"
Jimmy and Johnny came down the stairs with the last of the boxes. "I'm gonna head over to your apartment after these are loaded" I gave him a nod. Matt placed a hand on my should to give me some kind of ease I suppose, "I'm not against you... I think your just making this harder for yourself". I walked off and waved to Syn as he headed out the door to his car.
"See you there" He gave me a smile.
"With beers and pizza as promised"
"Of course" I laughed and walked to the back porch were Val was sitting down staring at the small fountain I had put up to give the back yard some appeal. "What wrong" She looked up at me and just smiled.
"Nothing" I just looked at her.
"You are the worst lair I know. Spill it" She turned to me and placed her lemonade on the table.
Her eyes already started to water. "I was so excited to tell you guys, I wanted to wait though. Till I was positive" she let some tears fall. "I was pregnant, almost at my 2nd trimester... just a week away. The doctors said that if I made it to that then everything should be much smoother for me."
My mouth dropped, I got up and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry... How is Matt taking this so well"
"I never told him" I pulled us apart and just stared at her. "It's bad luck to tell anybody before the third month and I know your suppose to but... I was just being SUPER cautious."
"How long ago did you lose it" I sat down next to her.
"A little over a week ago." She started crying like crazy, "There was just. soooo. much... blood" I rubbed her back.
"Take deep breaths" She did as I asked and started to calm down. "You should tell Matt... He can be there for you, you two are in this together"
"He'll hate me! I lost his baby!" This shocked me, I couldn't understand why she would think this.
"Why would you say that. He loves you and that baby isn't just his it's yours too. You both lost someone you love." She looked up to me and started to shake slightly.
"He was just so upset when we had came back from the doctors the after the testing... I could tell that he blamed me. He didn't talk to me for days... every time we have sex, he talks about the baby before hand. I feel like he doesn't even care for ME anymore, A Baby is what he wants" I rubbed her back and let her cry.
"Val... Would you like to stay at my place for a while, you need some time to gather your thoughts" She started to shake her head.
"I couldn't do that to you. I'm such a burden"
"Believe me, having you over would be wonderful. The thought of being in a new place again gives me anxiety, so really you would be helping me. You could even tell Matt that's why your staying for a while" She smiled at me. "Even if you weren't married to my brother, you'd always be my sister. Your my best friend and I want to be there for you"
After that we finally got up and headed out for my place. We stopped at her house to pick up the stuff she needed, we decided she would stay with me for at least a week; which would work out well because of the fact that the guys were heading out to make a music video in 3 days that would last a week. We then stopped at little caesars and picked up 3 pizzas and then stopped at the convenient store and picked up 3 six packs.
"Alright, I think that we are finally ready" She laughed and nodded. We drove to my place that was only 5 minutes from Zacky's but almost 20 from everybody else. "I should have moved closer to you."
"You need to be closer to your baby daddy" I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Try sperm doner" I laughed but she didn't "Oh I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking"
She shook her head "it's not that. He's just... different when he's with Oli, he's a good dad and i know that he is going to be there forever for him. He'll be there forever for you too" She got out of the car caring her bag and the 2 pizza's. I grabbed the rest and followed her. "Do you remember when Zacky and you graduated and you jumped into his arms and spun around kissing. It freaking looked like a scene from a movie"
"How would you know, I didn't even meet you till like 2 years later" she laughed.
"He makes up watch it every time he's smashed. Says it's his favorite movie." I looked at her surprised. " I dare you to ask him what his favorite movie is" She had said that right as we walked threw the door so the guys hear. They were sitting on the couch that they already brought in along with the TV.
"FINALLY!" Jimmy ran towards me and grabbed the beer and pizza from my hands.
"What took you guys so long" Matt said giving Val a kiss on her cheek and took the pizza's from her. He was half was to the counter when he stopped and looked back to her, his eyes latched to the bag. "... Are you leaving me?"
Val's breath hitched when he said that but then she just laughed. "No! Of course not, I'm just gonna stay with Silver for a while so that I can help her settle in. Plus your leaving soon and I don't want to be in the house by my self"
"What about our plans to... you know"
"UMMM! sounding sexy" Brian said as he grabbed a piece of pepperoni pizza and a beer.
"Matt. Now isn't the time to talk about that" I told him as I got me and Val a piece. We headed over to the living room where everyone but Matt was.
"We still have three days before I leave"
"Which in the mean time will be spent practicing and healing Zacky's broken heart" She turned to me, "Which isn't your fault"
Johnny started to laugh, I shot him a death glare. "You wanna go Christ, I'll kick your peewee ass" He looked over to Jimmy who looked off the the wall and started to whistle.
"Fine, whatever" Matt sat down on the floor, across from Valarie. She looked to me as if she wanted to cry. I patted her leg.
"Wanna beer" She nodded. I got up and went to the kitchen, pulled out two beers and headed back until there was a knock on the door. They all looked a little confused. "Probably just Zacky, I told him I wanted to see Oliver one more time before he stays the night with him for the next couple of days" I opened the door to see a handsome man in a suit with standing there. He looked down to me and then past me to the living room.
"Hi, are you Silver Sanders"
"Yes... and you are" I just moved here, how does anyone know where I am. I haven't been able to change my address on anything yet.
"Here you go" He handed me a yellowish envelope and walked away. I shut the door and looked from the envelope to the guys.
"What do you think it is" Jimmy hopped up and ran over to me.
"I'll find out, maybe it's some goodies" I laughed and sat down again, handing Val her drink.
Jimmy opened it and started to read it, silent of course, the goof likes to make me wait in anticipation. "oh shit" My heart started to race. He looked to me, "Silver... Zacky is suing you for custody of Oli"
"WHAT!" I screamed, Matt stood up and grabbed the papers. Jimmy came and sat down next to me, rubbing my leg. "Jimmy, that's a horrible joke. What is it really Matt"
Matt looked from the paper to me, he handed me it. "Your getting sued"
"Shit really?" Brian asked shocked, probably the most shocked I've ever seen him. "Zacky's really taking this hard." I focused on the paper.
"That jackass" He really was. "How could he get this put threw so fast?"
"His Aunt's a lawyer who knows people... she most likely helped"
"He just thinks that your going to take Oli from him, if he didn't then he wouldn't do this. Just explain that you won't and you won't have to worry" Johnny said, making sense for once. It didn't make me any less pissed though.
"I moved fucking 5 minutes away from him, believe me if I was taking Oli away I would move much further. THIS IS SHIT!" I tossed the papers and they flew everywhere.
Right then someone was knocking at the door. "His ass is grass" I started to get up but Jimmy pulled me down into his lap and held onto me for dear life as I kicked around. Brian answered the door.
"What's that sound" Oli asked, Brian simply replied with 'your mommy'. Oliver came into the living room and I calmed down a bit. "You okay mommy" I just nodded as I glared at Zacky who was slowly making his way into the room.
"You are dead" Matt said as he sat back down. Zacky looked from him to me.
"Your butt out on the patio, Now!" I pushed off of Jimmy and headed for the patio myself. "Shut the blinds and go play with Oli, you guys" Zacky walked outside and shut the door. Val picked up Oli and brought him down the hall with Matt and Jimmy, Johnny and Brain shut the closed the blinds.
"Listen, I'm sor" He turned around and I decked him right in the nose. "FUCK!" His hands flew to his face and blood started to slip through his fingers.
" I'll be damned if you think that your getting custody of Oliver" He looked at me as if I was stupid.
"I DON'T WANT TO TAKE HIM FROM YOU! I NEVER HAVE!... I just want to know that I'm not going to lose him too." He removed his hands from his face, it was no longer bleeding so it wasn't broken then... Damn.
"You never had me"
"Your wrong. I did have you at one point, and then i screwed it all up. I've fucked you up so bad that now you have these trust issue" He stepped closer to me, he started to bring his hands towards my face.
"Don't touch me" I would have said it whether he had blood on his hands or not.
He placed them back down by his sides, "I love you... and I love Oliver too. I WILL fight for him, if I don't you'll just take him away again."
"I never planned on taking him from you... But any of that trust that you were getting back. You can guarantee that it's gone now" He started to say something "Get your ass out of my house"
He looked at me for a second and then down. "I'm sorry" He walked past me to the door, as soon as he went threw he tripped over a hunched over Jimmy, who must had been listening in on the conversation.
Jimmy helped him and and brushed him off "Sorry, man".
Zacky went to the sink and washed off his face and hands. "Oliver! Time to go" I went from looking at my nails to him.
"What!"
He looked to me with what I could have swarn was the slightest sign of a grin. "you said I could have him till I had to leave"
"UM, That has obviously changed" Oli running down the hall with his stuffed dog toy.
"Nope, you promised"
"Oh My god, I am going to kill you" I started for him. I brought my hand up, I wasn't really going to hit him because Oliver was right there. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug where he brought his head down to my ear.
"Do tempt me to add assault to the lawsuit" he let me go and grabbed Oliver's hand. "Say bye to Mommy" I bent down and Oliver gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. Zacky and Oli walked out the door, that's when I noticed that I was holding my breath.
I turned around letting out a deep breath, I looked up to everybody and they just stared at me. Jimmy walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.
"Your not going to lose"
Then why did I feel like I already did.
"Mommy! I don't want to leave daddy" He came over to me and handed me the doll. "Can't we just stay here" I looked to Zacky, he didn't show any emotion on his face. He just looked straight at me, but it seemed as though he was looking threw me.
"Your daddy need's his space" Zacky snapped out of his trance and truely looked at me.
"Don't you dare put this on ME! It's all because of you, your to fucking scared to deal with anything" Oliver made an uh oh face and covered his mouth with his free hand.
"Watch your mouth" I growled back at him. He glared at me, picked up Oliver and started to walk out the door. "Where do you think your going with my son"
Zacky stopped and looked back to me. "He's my kid too. Where going to go have some fun before you take him away again" I sighed and started to shake my head.
"Your going to see hi..." He stopped me and slammed the door shut. I turned around to see Jimmy, Matt and Val all standing there looking at me like I was a TV show and they were waiting for something else to happen. "What!" I stormed off upstairs to grab another box. Somehow though I missed the boxes and went straight for Zacky's room.
His room was painted a gray color with thick black stripes randomly put up where his guitars hung. It wasn't the cleanest room in the house but he had stuff organized in places and his bed was made. On the side table was a picture frame that held a picture of his mom, him and Oliver when they went to visit her a little over a month ago. I was to scared to face her so I didn't go. I sat down and picked up the picture, but as I did that something slide out of his pillow and onto the floor making a small sound. I put the picture back and picked up the small box.
Inside was a picture of me and Zacky after we first meant. The edges were torn and worn, me and him still had the bright look though. We smiled at each other as if something huge just happened, but that was the way we looked at each other for a long time; nothing special ever had to happen for us to look like that. I placed the picture back in the box and lifted out a ring that was attatched to a necklace, it was the one that my mother had given me all those years ago. I gave it to Zacky to hold but he said he had lost it, I just remember being so angry with him for so long about it... but he didn't lost it.
Someone had knocked at the door. I shut the box and placed it back under his pillow. I looked back to see Matt standing at the door, looking back at me with the pity eyes that only ever seemed to be seen when I'm around.
" Stop looking at me like that" I stood up and walked out the door, he followed me.
"If you want to be with him so bad then why are you putting up such a fight." I picked up a box marked clothing and started down the stairs. "With you doing this it only makes it worse for you family"
"I don't want to get hurt again. It's not just me that would be hurt this time, it would be Oli too and I'll be damned if I let that happen." I placed the box in the back of Matt's truck and turned around to see him with his arms crossed and him shaking his head. I walked past him and back into the house. "If you don't agree with me then Matt, then just go. I don't need my own brother judging me"
Jimmy and Johnny came down the stairs with the last of the boxes. "I'm gonna head over to your apartment after these are loaded" I gave him a nod. Matt placed a hand on my should to give me some kind of ease I suppose, "I'm not against you... I think your just making this harder for yourself". I walked off and waved to Syn as he headed out the door to his car.
"See you there" He gave me a smile.
"With beers and pizza as promised"
"Of course" I laughed and walked to the back porch were Val was sitting down staring at the small fountain I had put up to give the back yard some appeal. "What wrong" She looked up at me and just smiled.
"Nothing" I just looked at her.
"You are the worst lair I know. Spill it" She turned to me and placed her lemonade on the table.
Her eyes already started to water. "I was so excited to tell you guys, I wanted to wait though. Till I was positive" she let some tears fall. "I was pregnant, almost at my 2nd trimester... just a week away. The doctors said that if I made it to that then everything should be much smoother for me."
My mouth dropped, I got up and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry... How is Matt taking this so well"
"I never told him" I pulled us apart and just stared at her. "It's bad luck to tell anybody before the third month and I know your suppose to but... I was just being SUPER cautious."
"How long ago did you lose it" I sat down next to her.
"A little over a week ago." She started crying like crazy, "There was just. soooo. much... blood" I rubbed her back.
"Take deep breaths" She did as I asked and started to calm down. "You should tell Matt... He can be there for you, you two are in this together"
"He'll hate me! I lost his baby!" This shocked me, I couldn't understand why she would think this.
"Why would you say that. He loves you and that baby isn't just his it's yours too. You both lost someone you love." She looked up to me and started to shake slightly.
"He was just so upset when we had came back from the doctors the after the testing... I could tell that he blamed me. He didn't talk to me for days... every time we have sex, he talks about the baby before hand. I feel like he doesn't even care for ME anymore, A Baby is what he wants" I rubbed her back and let her cry.
"Val... Would you like to stay at my place for a while, you need some time to gather your thoughts" She started to shake her head.
"I couldn't do that to you. I'm such a burden"
"Believe me, having you over would be wonderful. The thought of being in a new place again gives me anxiety, so really you would be helping me. You could even tell Matt that's why your staying for a while" She smiled at me. "Even if you weren't married to my brother, you'd always be my sister. Your my best friend and I want to be there for you"
After that we finally got up and headed out for my place. We stopped at her house to pick up the stuff she needed, we decided she would stay with me for at least a week; which would work out well because of the fact that the guys were heading out to make a music video in 3 days that would last a week. We then stopped at little caesars and picked up 3 pizzas and then stopped at the convenient store and picked up 3 six packs.
"Alright, I think that we are finally ready" She laughed and nodded. We drove to my place that was only 5 minutes from Zacky's but almost 20 from everybody else. "I should have moved closer to you."
"You need to be closer to your baby daddy" I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Try sperm doner" I laughed but she didn't "Oh I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking"
She shook her head "it's not that. He's just... different when he's with Oli, he's a good dad and i know that he is going to be there forever for him. He'll be there forever for you too" She got out of the car caring her bag and the 2 pizza's. I grabbed the rest and followed her. "Do you remember when Zacky and you graduated and you jumped into his arms and spun around kissing. It freaking looked like a scene from a movie"
"How would you know, I didn't even meet you till like 2 years later" she laughed.
"He makes up watch it every time he's smashed. Says it's his favorite movie." I looked at her surprised. " I dare you to ask him what his favorite movie is" She had said that right as we walked threw the door so the guys hear. They were sitting on the couch that they already brought in along with the TV.
"FINALLY!" Jimmy ran towards me and grabbed the beer and pizza from my hands.
"What took you guys so long" Matt said giving Val a kiss on her cheek and took the pizza's from her. He was half was to the counter when he stopped and looked back to her, his eyes latched to the bag. "... Are you leaving me?"
Val's breath hitched when he said that but then she just laughed. "No! Of course not, I'm just gonna stay with Silver for a while so that I can help her settle in. Plus your leaving soon and I don't want to be in the house by my self"
"What about our plans to... you know"
"UMMM! sounding sexy" Brian said as he grabbed a piece of pepperoni pizza and a beer.
"Matt. Now isn't the time to talk about that" I told him as I got me and Val a piece. We headed over to the living room where everyone but Matt was.
"We still have three days before I leave"
"Which in the mean time will be spent practicing and healing Zacky's broken heart" She turned to me, "Which isn't your fault"
Johnny started to laugh, I shot him a death glare. "You wanna go Christ, I'll kick your peewee ass" He looked over to Jimmy who looked off the the wall and started to whistle.
"Fine, whatever" Matt sat down on the floor, across from Valarie. She looked to me as if she wanted to cry. I patted her leg.
"Wanna beer" She nodded. I got up and went to the kitchen, pulled out two beers and headed back until there was a knock on the door. They all looked a little confused. "Probably just Zacky, I told him I wanted to see Oliver one more time before he stays the night with him for the next couple of days" I opened the door to see a handsome man in a suit with standing there. He looked down to me and then past me to the living room.
"Hi, are you Silver Sanders"
"Yes... and you are" I just moved here, how does anyone know where I am. I haven't been able to change my address on anything yet.
"Here you go" He handed me a yellowish envelope and walked away. I shut the door and looked from the envelope to the guys.
"What do you think it is" Jimmy hopped up and ran over to me.
"I'll find out, maybe it's some goodies" I laughed and sat down again, handing Val her drink.
Jimmy opened it and started to read it, silent of course, the goof likes to make me wait in anticipation. "oh shit" My heart started to race. He looked to me, "Silver... Zacky is suing you for custody of Oli"
"WHAT!" I screamed, Matt stood up and grabbed the papers. Jimmy came and sat down next to me, rubbing my leg. "Jimmy, that's a horrible joke. What is it really Matt"
Matt looked from the paper to me, he handed me it. "Your getting sued"
"Shit really?" Brian asked shocked, probably the most shocked I've ever seen him. "Zacky's really taking this hard." I focused on the paper.
"That jackass" He really was. "How could he get this put threw so fast?"
"His Aunt's a lawyer who knows people... she most likely helped"
"He just thinks that your going to take Oli from him, if he didn't then he wouldn't do this. Just explain that you won't and you won't have to worry" Johnny said, making sense for once. It didn't make me any less pissed though.
"I moved fucking 5 minutes away from him, believe me if I was taking Oli away I would move much further. THIS IS SHIT!" I tossed the papers and they flew everywhere.
Right then someone was knocking at the door. "His ass is grass" I started to get up but Jimmy pulled me down into his lap and held onto me for dear life as I kicked around. Brian answered the door.
"What's that sound" Oli asked, Brian simply replied with 'your mommy'. Oliver came into the living room and I calmed down a bit. "You okay mommy" I just nodded as I glared at Zacky who was slowly making his way into the room.
"You are dead" Matt said as he sat back down. Zacky looked from him to me.
"Your butt out on the patio, Now!" I pushed off of Jimmy and headed for the patio myself. "Shut the blinds and go play with Oli, you guys" Zacky walked outside and shut the door. Val picked up Oli and brought him down the hall with Matt and Jimmy, Johnny and Brain shut the closed the blinds.
"Listen, I'm sor" He turned around and I decked him right in the nose. "FUCK!" His hands flew to his face and blood started to slip through his fingers.
" I'll be damned if you think that your getting custody of Oliver" He looked at me as if I was stupid.
"I DON'T WANT TO TAKE HIM FROM YOU! I NEVER HAVE!... I just want to know that I'm not going to lose him too." He removed his hands from his face, it was no longer bleeding so it wasn't broken then... Damn.
"You never had me"
"Your wrong. I did have you at one point, and then i screwed it all up. I've fucked you up so bad that now you have these trust issue" He stepped closer to me, he started to bring his hands towards my face.
"Don't touch me" I would have said it whether he had blood on his hands or not.
He placed them back down by his sides, "I love you... and I love Oliver too. I WILL fight for him, if I don't you'll just take him away again."
"I never planned on taking him from you... But any of that trust that you were getting back. You can guarantee that it's gone now" He started to say something "Get your ass out of my house"
He looked at me for a second and then down. "I'm sorry" He walked past me to the door, as soon as he went threw he tripped over a hunched over Jimmy, who must had been listening in on the conversation.
Jimmy helped him and and brushed him off "Sorry, man".
Zacky went to the sink and washed off his face and hands. "Oliver! Time to go" I went from looking at my nails to him.
"What!"
He looked to me with what I could have swarn was the slightest sign of a grin. "you said I could have him till I had to leave"
"UM, That has obviously changed" Oli running down the hall with his stuffed dog toy.
"Nope, you promised"
"Oh My god, I am going to kill you" I started for him. I brought my hand up, I wasn't really going to hit him because Oliver was right there. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug where he brought his head down to my ear.
"Do tempt me to add assault to the lawsuit" he let me go and grabbed Oliver's hand. "Say bye to Mommy" I bent down and Oliver gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. Zacky and Oli walked out the door, that's when I noticed that I was holding my breath.
I turned around letting out a deep breath, I looked up to everybody and they just stared at me. Jimmy walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.
"Your not going to lose"
Then why did I feel like I already did.
@foREVerBlissful
Please post the 2nd part soon!
5/25/14