Don't Respect the Words You're Speaking
fighting to defend your rights
"Hey, Silver" Zacky called as he headed down stairs. It was 6:30 in the morning and I thought it was safe to walk around without running into him. I looked for a place to hide till I noticed he already made his way into the kitchen with me.
"Hey, what are you doing up so early! You need your sleep, got a full day of .... doing something ahead of you" I said rushing by him. Unfortunately though he was awake enough to grab my wrist. I looked down to his hand and then glared back up at him.
"You've been ignoring me since I kissed you" He pulled me closer to him and I turned my face.
"Have not" He turned my face towards him. "If you lay another hand on me, I swear you will not live to see tomorrow"
"Good thing I only have two hand then" He bent down to kiss me and I forced my face away. He was aggravated and grunted. "Why are you being like this" His hands dropped and I slid myself away from him. I grabbed my camera bag and started on my search for my laptop bag. "Looking for this" I turned to see him holding it, I mentally slapped myself for not seeing it before.
I went to grab it but he only held it higher, not even my heels were helping me. "Zacky, give it back. I have to go"
"Not till you tell me why" I stepped back and looked over towards the front door. I could feel myself losing composure and was on the verge of tears.
"You want to know why" I looked to him and he just looked back as if he was going to do something about how i felt. "I feel as though through the whole time I've known you I'M THE ONE GETTING HURT, you just lived your life like shit has nothing on you and guess what I'M SICK OF IT! You don't understand why even the thought of us being together makes me feel like I'm dying. The fact that I want you and your so close to my grasp kills me, because I know that every night when I lay my head down to sleep... I'm gonna have to be the one that fixes everything in the morning." Tears were streaming down my face by that point and all hope for composure had left me.
Zacky stepped closer and I stepped back, he finally had me pinned against the wall. He lowered the bag down and placed it in my hand. He then moved on to lifting my face "I can fix it" This only seemed to make me more angry.
The tears over flowed by then, I moved his hand away from me but kept contact with his eyes"You can't... Your the one that keeps on breaking it". I could see the pain I was causing him, but it didn't matter to me. He was the one that had inevitably brought it all on himself. I looked down and just barely spoke above a whisper. "This isn't working... I'm gonna find my own place" I picked up my keys and moved over to the door.
I wanted to turn back to his heart breaking face and say I was just joking. I wanted to bring him into an earth shattering kiss that showed him how I felt about him. I wanted to be able to tell him that we could be a family, that this is how it's suppose to be.
I couldn't make myself turn from the door. I just stood there, his deep breaths behind me and sound of sniffling every once in a while. I didn't want to hurt him... did I?
It was only when I heard Oliver descending from the stairs when I turned around. He had on a smile that lit up the whole room, but as soon as he seen the two of us it disappeared.
"Whats wrong mommy" He came down and hugged me, I bent down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He wiped away the stray tears that were still falling.
I gave him a smile that even he could tell was fake "I'm fine. I'm gonna go to work now, okay. Be a good boy and go get dressed for daddy" Oliver looked up to Zacky, my eyes wondered with him even though my brain warned them not to.
His face was tinted red and his eyes poofy. "Go get ready while I talk to your mommy"
"Are you two breaking up" Oliver held Zacky's hand.
Zacky looked down to his, "we were never together" before he could do anything I stood back up and hurried out the door. "Silver!"
"Love you mommy!" I got into my car and started it, I pulled out of the drive way and speed down the street. I pulled into an abandoned parking lot and parked my car.
I just sat there for a couple of minutes till something happened. Rage took over and I started pounding my handed against the steering wheel. My intense crying made it harder and harder to concentration on hitting it. I laid my head against the wheel knowing full well I was going to hate myself for doing what had happened.
"Hey, what are you doing up so early! You need your sleep, got a full day of .... doing something ahead of you" I said rushing by him. Unfortunately though he was awake enough to grab my wrist. I looked down to his hand and then glared back up at him.
"You've been ignoring me since I kissed you" He pulled me closer to him and I turned my face.
"Have not" He turned my face towards him. "If you lay another hand on me, I swear you will not live to see tomorrow"
"Good thing I only have two hand then" He bent down to kiss me and I forced my face away. He was aggravated and grunted. "Why are you being like this" His hands dropped and I slid myself away from him. I grabbed my camera bag and started on my search for my laptop bag. "Looking for this" I turned to see him holding it, I mentally slapped myself for not seeing it before.
I went to grab it but he only held it higher, not even my heels were helping me. "Zacky, give it back. I have to go"
"Not till you tell me why" I stepped back and looked over towards the front door. I could feel myself losing composure and was on the verge of tears.
"You want to know why" I looked to him and he just looked back as if he was going to do something about how i felt. "I feel as though through the whole time I've known you I'M THE ONE GETTING HURT, you just lived your life like shit has nothing on you and guess what I'M SICK OF IT! You don't understand why even the thought of us being together makes me feel like I'm dying. The fact that I want you and your so close to my grasp kills me, because I know that every night when I lay my head down to sleep... I'm gonna have to be the one that fixes everything in the morning." Tears were streaming down my face by that point and all hope for composure had left me.
Zacky stepped closer and I stepped back, he finally had me pinned against the wall. He lowered the bag down and placed it in my hand. He then moved on to lifting my face "I can fix it" This only seemed to make me more angry.
The tears over flowed by then, I moved his hand away from me but kept contact with his eyes"You can't... Your the one that keeps on breaking it". I could see the pain I was causing him, but it didn't matter to me. He was the one that had inevitably brought it all on himself. I looked down and just barely spoke above a whisper. "This isn't working... I'm gonna find my own place" I picked up my keys and moved over to the door.
I wanted to turn back to his heart breaking face and say I was just joking. I wanted to bring him into an earth shattering kiss that showed him how I felt about him. I wanted to be able to tell him that we could be a family, that this is how it's suppose to be.
I couldn't make myself turn from the door. I just stood there, his deep breaths behind me and sound of sniffling every once in a while. I didn't want to hurt him... did I?
It was only when I heard Oliver descending from the stairs when I turned around. He had on a smile that lit up the whole room, but as soon as he seen the two of us it disappeared.
"Whats wrong mommy" He came down and hugged me, I bent down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He wiped away the stray tears that were still falling.
I gave him a smile that even he could tell was fake "I'm fine. I'm gonna go to work now, okay. Be a good boy and go get dressed for daddy" Oliver looked up to Zacky, my eyes wondered with him even though my brain warned them not to.
His face was tinted red and his eyes poofy. "Go get ready while I talk to your mommy"
"Are you two breaking up" Oliver held Zacky's hand.
Zacky looked down to his, "we were never together" before he could do anything I stood back up and hurried out the door. "Silver!"
"Love you mommy!" I got into my car and started it, I pulled out of the drive way and speed down the street. I pulled into an abandoned parking lot and parked my car.
I just sat there for a couple of minutes till something happened. Rage took over and I started pounding my handed against the steering wheel. My intense crying made it harder and harder to concentration on hitting it. I laid my head against the wheel knowing full well I was going to hate myself for doing what had happened.
@foREVerBlissful
Please post the 2nd part soon!
5/25/14