*Aidan POV*

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything

Bruno Mars speaking straight from my heart. While I was walking through the streets in Huntington Beach I was listening some radio. Music was always distracting my mind a little and somehow I had to stop thinking about Joana. Even she cheated and left me I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She still had some impact in my day, no matter if I was sleeping, making something to eat or I was working – she was on my mind. Not even some fresh air was helping to think about something else.

Especially not when she was just sitting at a restaurant on the same table with Brian and his other friends. I was hiding myself, so no one was able to see me and watched her through the window. She was laughing with her friends, seemed happy and I saw that our wedding ring was gone. That was saying a lot for me. She already forgotten who I am, what we went through and what time we actually had.

Did she actually love me?! It was the first time when I started to doubt on her feelings. We haven’t been separated from each other for weeks and she put it off already. It was like a punch into my tummy. I was doing everything for her, I was reading all her wishes from the lips and made everything possible and that was I got at the end. I really felt fucked in this situation. I got the idea that she was just a gold digger, used me and then throw me away when she found something ‘better’ or in that case ‘older’.

Irena was the total opposite to me. She was cooking – Joana never did that, she preferred to order meals from restaurants - she was better in bed and all the other stuff. And more important she was listening to me. I never got the feeling that I couldn’t tell her about my problems or ask her about some advices. I felt home when she was around.

Maybe I should have been with her since the day I had met her. It was at some local event when she was visiting the town. She caught my attention pretty fast by the dress she was wearing, if I was able to call it one. Anyway we have been talking and because I was a loyal guy then I told her from the beginning that I was taken. If I would have known the outcome I would have chosen differently.

From that perspective it looked all pretty different. Though we changed the numbers and stayed in touch. She had told me about her opinion that Joana was just using me and had a lot of men behind my back. I never really believed her but if I would have done I would have rescued myself from all the pain that got left. It was true that couples mostly looked through rose-tinted glasses.
Because the window was open I could hear a snippet from their conversation. I think his name was Matt that started make jokes about Brian’s eye being black and blue. I didn’t regret that I hit him. It would have been harder if I could. That guy provoked me and that was my answer to that.

Like the other thing that I was becoming a daddy. I wasn’t really sure what plan that belonged to but I wouldn’t be paying for something that wasn’t mine. If a test would change my mind then I might support her but I wouldn’t start that on my own. Irena got me to the idea that it wasn’t even mine child probably. Who knows what had happened at our wedding when both seemed to gone for some minutes. She never answered me that question until today.

It was about time that I would go away from that town. Holidays weren’t over and I found some good job in Toronto, my new hometown with Irena. She already flew over to decorate the apartment and arrange a few stuff before I would join her in some days. At least someone that I could away rely on. If I couldn’t be happy with Joana I would be happy with her.

Maybe it was better to go home now, put everything that got left in the house in a box and give it to her or leave it at her new work – the studio. She would become famous in no time with her boys that she knew from high school. She kept talking about them during our time as a couple. I never really was interested in their music but for her I was listening and kept the smile in my face.
I just came home when I saw Gwen standing in front of my door, obviously waiting for me.

“How are you doing, lovely?” I tried to be nice.

“I am ok thank you. So but I want to talk with you.”

I just opened the door and she stormed right into it. Someone else would have asked but she was deciding that for herself. Chris must love the dominate site on her apparently.

“What do you want? I don’t have much time.”

“I do not care. You better take some time now, Mister. This is important. I just talked with Joana yesterday and then got a text message that you hit Brian? What are you doing? And why?”

“Did she maybe include in her message what her boyfriend was saying to me?” I tried to defend myself.

“Whatever he has done he doesn’t deserve it at all. If he hurt you with words or has been rude then go away. Try to be the smarter one from you both. But you are giving her more and more a reason to go seriously.”

“Then she should go, Gwen. I do not care anymore. Have you seen her lately maybe? I did and she looks really happy to me. There is no tear that she is crying about me. So why should I be waiting for her and waste my time with this. It is over.”

“You think she is happy? Why do you think that?? Because you have seen her with the guys from that band talking and maybe laughing? Deep inside she looks quite different. I know that girl now for so long and I know what she is really feeling, Aidan. You can’t switch from one to another within a day. And if you ask me she never slept with Brian. Joana tells me everything and she never had mentioned a word about it.”

“How do you explain her pregnancy?”

Gwen was just laughing.

“You do not want to tell me that you never had sex with her.”

“Of course we had but if she would be pregnant from me she would never hurt me like this.”

“Are you just listening to yourself what you are saying there? Or just blind-folded? She found out about the pregnancy when she came home. It is not that she waiting for this about 2 weeks before telling you. But ask yourself, Aidan, how would you react when you would be coming home from a really emotional trip and find your partner having sex with someone else?”

I remained silent. She was right. Maybe I would have act the same as her.

“See! That’s what she felt when she saw you with her onto the table. You bring her just closer to him and the more you are fighting against that the more you will lose her. You need to start fighting for her when you see just a glimpse of hope.”

“Gwen, there is not really a chance.”

“Tell me, did you give up already? Where is the Aidan from the wedding? We all have seen your eyes when you looked at her in that beautiful dress, like the time before. You never worried about anything. You were pretty cool and you have been such wonderful partner to her. I never had said that to anyone but you both had been my dream couple. You can’t give up, not so easily. The last word hasn’t been spoken yet.”

And then Gwen left the apartment again.

Her words gave me something to think about. I checked the time and maybe she was still at the restaurant. So I still got my chance to talk with her. Maybe it wasn’t too late and that’s what she was waiting for. A talk was needed.
I got pretty lucky that she was still there and about to leave with Brian.

“Joana, can we talk?”

She looked at me a little bit surprised.

“Why do you want to talk? I think everything is said, isn’t it?”

“Do yourself a favour and please go” Brian said and made a gesture that I should go away.

“I just ask for a couple of minutes. It is really important for me. Then you can be with her again. I just want a talk.”

It was really needing a lot of control not to hit that guy again. I couldn’t stand him and his snotty person. Though I tried to show my nice side again to get the talk I wanted.

“Just tell me why should I leave to let you two have a talk? You can be really happy mister that I didn’t call my lawyer until now.”

“Ok. I give you 10 minutes with me alone. Brian, do not worry. I can take care about myself. I will be here again soon” she leaned over to kiss him.

So Joana and I went to a corner where we could sit down, no one would disturb us or Brian could see us.

“Do you really want to break up with me?”

I knew it wasn’t the best beginning but I was coming to the point at least. I just had 10 minutes and I had to use them.

“Are you serious with that? Is it that what you wanted to talk about? My answer is yes. I mean I come home and you have sex with Irena and you aren’t even sorry about. You said that I had sex with Brian while I have been with a friend making her last days to something special. Do you think that makes me change my mind? No! It is over Aidan. You passed a line that wasn’t acceptable anymore. I’m sorry.”

“I might be really pretty late with this but I will start fighting for you. I was an idiot that day, I know that. But I realized that now and I just want to make it better. You can give me a second chance or not but I’m here to prove I’m willed that I will change myself.”

I was coming closer but she just got up.

“I will be mummy in some months, yes. You will be able to see the kid whenever you want, as long as you call me before. But if you keep going to be an douche like that I might change my mind again. Although you ruined your chances with Irena. I had told you that she will be trying everything to hate us each other. She finally had managed it, congratulation and I hope you will be happy with you. She got what she always wanted.”

“You don’t know her at all. You might see her as a bitch but did you try to look closer? She is a sweet person, with the heart at the right place and helped me when you haven’t been home. It always important what you do, feel and so on. But did you ask yourself what I feel?"

“As you have said I was working. You can’t imagine what the days look like and that I was just happy to be in my hotel room to get some sleep. And don’t make me sound like someone that never called you or left text messages. I had been writing to you. But because you mention it, then you know what Brian did for me the last 2 weeks. He was there when my friend was about to die. Like he knows even my past. I don’t want to drop myself down at the same level. It sounds childish. I have made my decision and I won’t change it. For nothing in the world.”

“I can’t read people’s mind. How do I know that you’ve had a terrible past? But maybe she was right about the baby and you mention it to the right time to make yourself look good.”

“You still think it’s Brian’s baby? No! How often should I tell you that? I feel like talking to a wall. Whatever I say it won’t reach your mind or just things that you would like to hear.”

“I’ve you seen you with him and you seem very happy.”

“Let me laugh for a second. You think that is saying that he is the father of my unborn child? Oh wow! I think you are smarter than this. And seriously shall I cry? I would do it because I still feel bad inside, but life goes on. So start living your life with Irena or whoever you might choose but it is over for me Aidan. Please understand that. Thanks for the talk.”

Then she was leaving me alone again. I knew I was right. She made her choice and I should live my own life with Irena. I just wasted some time to have a talk where I knew exactly every fucking answer. I just saw them leaving and yes I was broken to see that.
Now Chris was coming out of the restaurant, really for my surprise.

“Chris, what are you doing here?”

“Dude, what are you doing in a restaurant? I was having lunch, but thank you for your concern. I had a short talk with Joana before you came here.”

“It’s over. I lost her to that her ex-boyfriend again. I should call myself really happy.”

“I have seen it. I know that they were telling everyone today that they are now officially reunited again. They seemed happy to me but I better didn’t destroy the moment to ask why she broke up with you."

“You have heard she is pregnant?”

Chris eyes got wider and wider.

“Are you so surprised now?”

“And he is the father?”

Actually I was surprised that she didn’t say to everyone yet if she was so proud to be a mummy. Soon the whole town would know about it and I’m happy that I was in Toronto to that time.

“No. She says I’m the father but I have my doubts especially when I count everything together. Remember when I told you that both disappeared for some time at my wedding? There’s enough room for imagination I know.”

“You might be right but then you should ask yourself why she was doing all that? She spent 3 wonderful years with you, she put so much effort into this wedding just to be with her ex-boyfriend again? It sounds weird but you never know."

“I have some time to think about that again but I think I will just waste energy for this. Irena is already in Toronto and I will follow her in couple days. "

“Oh yeah I remember her. That crazy little Italian chick. She is really hot.”

That was Chris! He was finding every girl hot and probably flirted with anyone. A few years ago he was taking every girl he could get. I mean I couldn’t blame him for that but since he was with Gwen it got really quiet around his person. I think Gwen is doing a good job with having him on the leash.
I think she was the right one for him and I wished them all my best for the future.

“Yeah I am with her. Well Joana came in while we both had …. You know what I mean.”

“Ouch!!”

“Yeah! But she started that dirty little game. I think we are even now and she can be happy with that guy full of muscles and his hair that looks like a newer version of the Elvis Presley. He isn’t even handsome.”

“Oh that is jealousy what is talking there! He might has some other qualities that she is looking for. Who knows what she sees in him. But if you really want her back then fight for her. I can’t tell you more than that.”

“Did Gwen tell you that?”

“What?”

“She has been waiting at my door earlier and really washed my head. For one second she gave me the hope that I would get her back. It was all nonsense.”

“Oh ….”

“Exactly! But she doesn’t want me back, Chris. She isn’t even wearing the ring anymore. What chances do I still have?”

“Do you know if she has seen a lawyer yet? If not she really didn’t give up yet and just leaves some room for a change maybe. So prove her that you are willed to change yourself and show her your best side. After all you both are still married.”

“Maybe you are right! I just need to think about something good now. I just don’t want to start unprepared again.”

“And next time try to do something that comes from your heart. Don’t buy any stuff that she probably doesn’t need. You want to make clear that you still love her.”

Chris was right. Though it doesn’t happen a lot but now I will follow his advice. I needed some time to come up with a good idea, something romantic. I had done that before and would do it again. I was taking that challenge. Everyone deserved a second chance.

Notes