“You have no idea how crazy Brian was yesterday. He flipped out completely, you know.” Zacky told me, as we sat on the bed, eating snacks from the mini fridge I had in the hotel room. “He ran the entire Huntington Beach looking for you. I was really worried about him.”

“But…” I lowered my head, biting on my chocolate timidly, “why did he want to find me so bad?”

When I looked up at Zacky, his face brought no good news. “No one knows. Not even him, I think. But he wanted to find you, that’s for sure, and it wasn’t for a good reason.”

I sighed. “Why didn’t you tell him I was here?”

“I was afraid he would cut your head off.” Zacky said, a small smile tugging onto the corners of his mouth. “I couldn’t let him do that.”

“Thanks.” Chuckling, I ripped another chocolate wrapper out and threw it at Zacky. “I still don’t know how you found me.”

His shoulders jolted in a small shrug, “I know the owner of the hotel. And I know that he also knows you, so it wasn’t hard to figure out where you were staying. Besides, my father is friends with Mr. Miller and I know your father was, too.”

I tried. I tried to keep my face plain, but whenever my father came into the conversation, my heart would wince inside of me, and I couldn’t hide it. Zacky’s eyes widened and his cheeks grew a darker shade of red once the realization hit him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I forgot about- I’m sorry, Lara.” He said in a hurry, grabbing my hands and searching for my eyes. “I’m an idiot.”

“It’s okay, Zee.” I assured, even though it wasn’t okay. Not that it was Zacky’s fault. “I’m over it, now.” I lied.

“Yeah, right. That’s why you got all sad when I mentioned him.” At my silence, he tightened the grip on my hands, forcing me to meet his intense gaze, “You know… I don’t blame you for leaving. Yes, I was mad, but in the end you had all the rights to go away.”

“I should’ve said goodbye.”

“You should have.” Zacky agreed, smiling lightly at me. “But you came back. That has to count for something, right?”

I let out a weak giggle, “I hope so.”

“But tell me about your work. You said you worked as an actress. That’s pretty cool.”

“Well, I don’t have much to say. But yeah, I work in a small company. That’s where I met my best friend.”

“Hey, I feel betrayed now.” Zacky pouted, his plump bottom lip falling out. I couldn’t help but laughing at his cute face.

“You know I love you, too, but she’s a girl. And girls need girl friends as well.”

“Fair enough.”

“What about you?” I asked, crossing my legs over my lap and smiling up at my friend, who laid down on the bed with a suspicious grin. “What is it?” I asked, eager to know whatever it was that made his green eyes glisten so much.

“I’m engaged.”

My mouth opened in shock, but inside I was screaming with happiness. “Really?” I bounced on the bed like a two year old, clapping my hands excitedly. “That is so awesome!”

“I know.” He sat back up, his tongue running over the now free-pierced lower lip.

“What’s her name?”

“Audrey.”

“Awn, Zacky’s in love.” I sang, finding adorable that my once ladies’ man friend was now a lovey-dovey.

“Shut up!”

“But it’s so cute.” I said, laughing, as Zacky blushed even more, letting his face reach the color of a bright red.

He tossed the pillow that was behind him in my direction and I yelped in surprise, even though I couldn’t stop laughing. “Stop making fun of me!” He chuckled, hitting me repeatedly with another pillow, but failing completely on his goal.

“Oh, she’s a lucky girl.” I said more seriously when Zacky and I stopped battling with each other. “I’m sure she’s in good hands.”

“And are you in good hands?” He asked, his green eyes fixed on me. I turned my head to the side, staring out of the window of the room and losing myself in the ocean view. “I know it’s a sensitive subject,” he prodded, “but you shouldn’t let your past influence your life now. What happened, happened. You can’t change it-“

“Zacky,” I cut in, “please stop.”

“No, Lara. I won’t stop.”

I rolled my eyes, sliding my legs off the mattress and standing up. “I don’t wanna talk about what happened. I came here to make things up to you, guys. But that’s it.” I said, grabbing the chocolate wrappers from the bed and chucking them into the trash.

“And do you think you can do that without facing the past?”

I stopped what I was doing and sighed, glancing over at Zacky. He was right, but that didn’t keep me from hoping that I could actually avoid that conversation. “What happened, happened, right? You said it just now.”

Rolling his eyes, Zacky hoped off the bed and walked toward me. “That doesn’t mean you have to forget it. First, you have to deal with it and then, when you’re ready, you can put it all behind your back and live your life.”

“It’s not that easy..” I muttered, lowering my gaze to the floor. I felt his arm wrapping around my shoulders, pulling me into his embrace.

“No one said it was. But it’s worth it, and I’ll be here to help you.”

My lips curved in a small smile at his words. I really didn’t deserve that sympathy from him, but I wasn’t going to complain. It felt good. “Thank you, Zee.”

“No need for that, little peanut.” I moved slightly away from him, my mouth opening in shock. “What?” He asked innocently.

“You still remember my nickname.”

Zacky’s emerald eyes lit up as he smiled, “How could I not? I still remember the day you ate all my peanuts at that party because you were upset with Brian. And you kept rambling about him and about how idiot he was, but still you couldn’t be mad at him.”

We both laughed recalling the scene and my heart ached a little at the thought of those old times. I was such a happy girl, and now I struggled every day not to break down.

“You still didn’t answer me, though.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you in good hands?”

“Jane is a great friend. She’s always there for me.”

“What about guys?”

I chuckled, “Are you playing the big brother role now?”

“Maybe.” He smirked, shoving my arm playfully.

“Then you don’t have to worry about it. I’m single and glad with that.”

Zacky let out a sigh, “Are you really?”

“Of course. I don’t need anyone.”

He shook his head, but fortunately dropped the subject. “By the way, you should come over my house tomorrow.” Zacky suggested with a glint in his eyes. Even though I wanted to meet with the guys and catch up for all these lost years, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. That would bring many questions and confrontations, and I didn’t know if I was ready yet.

“Maybe not tomorrow, Zee.”

His smile dropped just like his shoulders, which slumped a little, “Why not? Everyone misses you, Lara.”

“Not everyone.” I muttered with a frown. At this, Zacky could only roll his eyes and sigh.

“Everyone.” He insisted, “Brian is being a drama queen right now but he misses you, too. Damn.. he’s probably the one who’s missing you the most.”

I kept my head down, my fingers pulling at the ends of my shirt as I thought about Zacky’s words. Did Brian really miss me? Well, I’ve missed him. Like fucking hell. But what I did to him was unforgivable, and him being the stubborn ass he was, would never admit that he actually missed me.

“Earth calls Lara. Are you here?” Zacky’s hands waving in front of my eyes were what woke me up to reality. I showed him a slight grin, confirming my presence. “Don’t think about it. Just take a rest today and then we’ll see how’re you feeling.”

“Aw you’re being too sweet to me!” I said, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him for the hundredth time that day. He chuckled but hugged me back nonetheless. Wasn’t he just the cutest thing ever?

---

“So… is today the day?” Jane asked, just like she asked every day we talked. But today my answer was a bit different.

Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and closing my eyes, I drew out a deep breath. “I think it is.” I said. Jane squealed in delight, making me move the phone away from my ear.

“Finally!” she shouted. “How’re you going to do it?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m waiting for Zacky to say something.”

“Oh my god, I’m so excited for you!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her cheery mood. It was too much, perhaps, because I didn’t know what to expect. There were two options: Either the guys were cool and forgave me and everything went smoothly; or they kicked me out and told me never to come back. However, I felt like there was a third option; one much more likely.

“I’m nervous, Jane.”

She came out of her excitement bubble and composed herself. “I know, but you’re a strong woman. You can do this.”

“Can I?”

“Of course you can!” She chuckled, “And you know how much you want this.”

My lips curled up in a small smile. “That I want..”

And Zacky was being so supportive. I didn’t know how I could do this if it wasn’t for him. We had talked every day, trying to come up with a good way of telling the guys I was back in town, ready to apologize and to see their asses. Zacky assured me they weren’t mad, at least most of them. Brian had been off and distant from the day I saw him and Matt at the restaurant, but he made no comments about me, so Zacky didn’t really know what to expect from him. However he’d been preparing them for the news, he’d tested the waters so things would flow a bit easier if I decided to show up.

“My nails are gone.” I grunted, frowning at my hands.

“It’s not like you care a lot, is it?”

Another grin Jane was able to take out of me. Why was I even impressed?

Just as I was about to reply my phone beeped, telling me I had another call coming. I took a quick glance at the screen, gasping once I read the ID caller. “Oh shit, it’s Zacky.” I said, my stomach fluttering with nerves, “Wait just a second, Jane.”

I put Jane’s call on waiting and accepted Zacky’s one, “Yo, bro!” I greeted, masking my anxiety behind a chuckle.

“I’m picking you up in fifteen. Be ready.”

My eyes almost popped out of my head at his words, and I’m sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “W-What?!”

He laughed at my reaction before repeating what he’d said before. Like I haven’t heard a thing. Oh but I did. And that’s why my hands became the epicenter of an earthquake.

“Are you fucking serious?! And you only tell me that now?” Yelling and cursing seemed a pretty good way to ease the nerves that had suddenly settled within me. And to make things even better, I realized I was still in my pajamas. Great. Just fucking great. I rose from the hotel bed - more like jumping the hell out of it - and fought with my bag, searching for something nice to wear.

Ups.

I stopped dead in tracks when I remembered That Zacky was still on the phone; the same one that was now lying carelessly on the mattress. I crawled up the bed like a ninja and slid the phone back up to my ear, “Oh my god! I’m sorry Vee!” I cried, just to hear him burst out laughing. What was so funny? I was about to shit on my pants and he was laughing? “Stop with that, Zackary! I’m freaking out!”

“Ugh, don’t call me that.”

“Then don’t make fun of my misery.”

“Hey! Calm down and take a deep breath, will you?” I sighed, deciding to follow his suggestion. I sat down with my legs crossed and closed my eyes, taking in a long and deep breath before letting it all go slowly. “Better?”

“A shitload. Thanks.”

“Now get ready. You have five minutes.”

Of course. Fuck you.

Hanging up Both Zacky’s and Jane’s calls, I hurried to put on some decent clothes. I wanted to look presentable.

---

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my fucking God!”

Zacky, seated on the driver’s side, just laughed and laughed with my desperation. Somehow he found amusing that I was a nervous wreck.

“Just fucking relax. I wouldn’t bring you here if I didn’t think the guys weren’t ready for this.”

“You better be right or I’ll cut your balls and fry them with salt.”

Zacky’s horrified expression brought a chuckle from the depth of my chest. I should’ve taken a picture of it. “Not funny, peanut head!”

“It kinda was…”

He sent me a brief glare but I could see the tiny smile dancing on his lips. It wasn’t long before the car came to a stop and Zacky turned off the engine. “Come on! They’re waiting.”

I whined, pulling out my bottom lip. Snickering, Zacky pushed the door of the car open and got out, leaving me to myself. I scanned his two story house. Damn… it was big but so amazing. In New York I could never live in a place like this. The sound of Zacky opening the door on my side made me jump and the fear to rise in me.

“Do I have to drag you out of here or what?”

I had a huge will to say yes, but instead, I shook my head and slid my shaking body out of the vehicle. I felt my heart pumping a little bit too fast in my chest and I couldn’t stop the fuzzy feeling in my stomach as we made our way toward his house. Oh boy, I was going to black out.

Zacky climbed the steps to his front door, pulling the keys from his back pocket. I followed close behind, not wanting to stay back. With a last sneak at me, he unlocked the door and stepped in, allowing me to enter as well. But I panicked and turned back around, ready to take my ass away from there. Obviously I made the wrong decision. As soon as I spun, my foot missed the step and I went flying straight to the floor. I groaned in pain, feeling my cheekbone throbbing.

“Oh shit!” Zacky whispered, running to where I was lying and kneeling beside me. “You okay?” he asked, concerned.

“What the fuck happened?” Was that Jimmy I heard? “Lara? Are you okay?”

Oh my god It was Jimmy indeed. I lifted my face from the floor and looked up just to meet those so familiar blue eyes staring right into me. I couldn’t handle it. I just couldn’t. Feeling the tears welling up in the corner of my eyes, I sat up quickly and hugged the life out of Jimmy. I didn’t care if he was mad, angry, pissed off, or whatever, because in that moment I just wanted to hug him. I missed him so much.

“Only you to make a big entrance like this one, uh?” He joked, and I, in my messy state, started laughing uncontrollably. Just imagining my fall was hilarious. I pulled away from Jim and he smiled his infectious smile at me.

“Oh Jimbo!” And there I was again, squeezing him to death, but no different than him, whose arms were tightly around me, making it hard to breathe.

“You’re home, little peanut!”

I was. Home. My real home.

With the help of Jimmy, I stood up and brushed the dirt from off my clothes. It was only then, when I looked up, that my eyes caught Matt’s and Johnny’s figures at the doorway.
They greeted me with a warming smile.

“We were hoping you’d hug us, too.” At Matt’s words I didn’t hesitate and sprint off in their direction, almost knocking them down. Clearly not. Running into Matt was like running into a brick wall. Yet, I have been able to jump into his arms, making him laugh rather loudly. “I see you haven’t changed that much.” He commented, his chuckles still assaulting him.

“I missed you, big guy.” He placed me on my feet, ruffling my hair. “Hey!” I patted his hand away, watching as his dimples dug just a little bit deeper into his cheeks.

“Finally, someone shorter than me.”

That had to be Johnny. “But still I’m smarter than you.”’ I remarked, pulling him into a bone crushing hug as well. By the time I moved away, the guys have entered the house and closed the front door.

Recovering from the initial emotions, I noticed that there was someone missing, and that brought a slight pain to my chest. My eyes searched all the corners of that place for some sign of him, but found nothing.

“He’s probably outside.” Zacky said as if he was reading my mind.

I nodded with my head but decided to follow everyone to the living room. There, I found two other girls: Audrey - Zacky’s fiancée - and Katherine - Matt’s girlfriend - who happened to be one of my friends from high school. A big grin was plastered all over my face as I locked eyes with her.

“I can’t believe you guys are dating!” I exclaimed in shock, my hands covering my mouth. “That is adorable!” They looked at each other, smiling. Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her even closer to his side, and kissed her temple. Aww.

“I would’ve never thought that you two would end up together.” I chuckled, sitting down on the couch beside Zacky and Audrey, “I mean..”

“Yeah we didn’t like each other much.” They took the opposite couch along with Jimmy.

“That’s the understatement of the year, Kate.”

She shrugged her shoulders before burying herself into Matt’s strong embrace, where she seemed to feel so happy. I smiled at them and then turned to Zacky, who was well accompanied, too. Audrey was gorgeous but had that innocent look that I’m sure made Zacky fall head over heels in love with her.

I was so overwhelmed with everything that I didn’t even know what to say. I just looked from one guy to another, making out the differences and the similarities between now and eight years ago. Their hair, their clothes have changed for sure, but their voices and their smiles… damn, it was like a flashback.

“Why did you decide to come back?” Matt asked, breaking my thoughts.

“I… I just needed to do it.”

“You shouldn’t have left.”

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, “I know.. I’m sorry.
I really am.”

“We’re not mad.” Jimmy cut in, “Not now, though. But we were crushed, Lara. It was very tough for us to move on without you around.”

I dropped my gaze to the floor, ashamed. “But I had to leave, guys. I couldn’t stay here after what happened. It was haunting me.”

“We get that and that’s why we’re giving you this second chance.” Matt said, giving me a reassuring smile. “Just don’t mess up.”

“And let’s face it,” Jimmy leaned forward on the couch, holding his weight on his elbows and looking at me, “we all missed Lara.”

Smiling, I got up and walked over to him, stretching my arms open. He jumped from his seat and lifted me up effortlessly. I squealed from the unexpected move and held myself around Jimmy’s waist as he turned me upside down. “I’ve missed you, tea partner.”

“Me, too!” I laughed, tightening my grip on him, afraid I would fall for all the spinning he was doing.

“Oh my god, you’re going to make her sick.” Zacky said, “If she throws up, you’re cleaning her mess.”

Everyone snickered except for Johnny. He had been awfully quiet and I suspected it was because of me, but at the moment I could only focus on Jimmy’s crazy movements.

“Ah! Put me down!” I laughed, “Pleaseeee!”

“Not happening!”

“Jimmy!” I screamed and giggled but nothing seemed to stop that crazy, tall man from running around like a maniac.

“You’re all having such a great time.” A cold voice echoed through the room. I froze immediately and if it wasn’t Jimmy’s fast reaction to put me down, I would’ve hit the floor face first. “What a big happy family we are.”

“Brian, you promised-“

“I promised I would try,” He cut off Zacky, stepping slowly into the living room, “but I can’t do this.”

His brown eyes diverted to me, and for the tiniest second, I felt my knees quivering and my legs failing. Lucky enough I still had Jimmy holding me.

“Brian..” Jim said in a warning tone.

“I just don’t get it. How can you all fucking forgive her that easily?” Everyone stayed in silence. “She tells you a bunch of lies and you pretend like nothing happened? Are you serious right now?”

“You didn’t even listen to her.” Zacky tried to reason with him.

“I don’t need to. There’s no fucking excuse for what she did!” Brian shouted, trailing his gaze on me once again. “How dare you? Stepping into our lives again and fooling us with your pathetic excuses.”

“Brian..” I breathed, tears already pricking at the back of my eyes.

“Don’t fucking say my name!” He yelled, and within seconds Zacky was placing himself between me and Brian. Jimmy’s arms pulled me tighter to him protectively. “Get out, Zack! This has nothing to do with you!”

“When it’s in my own house I do. And if you don’t back the hell off, I’m gonna kick you out.”

Brian let out a dry laugh but stepped back, raising his hands in defense. “And you’re all on her side. This is ridiculous.”

I didn’t know from where the courage had come from, but before I knew it, I was wiggling myself away from jimmy and stomping toward Brian, “I’m sorry, okay? I know I messed up but I… I’m just sorry.”

“Good for you.”

“Let me explain, please.” I said softly, approaching him. His breaths were heavy and I could feel the anger pulsing in his veins, the hate clouding over the sweetness of his eyes. “Please, Brian.”

He sighed. And when I thought he was going to give in, Brian leaned in to me and whispered right next to my ear, “Fuck you.”

Notes

Ooh I guess that was a sharp ending for a chapter, uh?

I hope you're enjoying this story :) Comments? Please?