Carry On

Days had past, and I was still unspoken too. I officially had no one. Brian told Matt, Matt told Jimmy, he told Johnny - he told mom. Gracie had even been off with me. She was all over Brian, and they hsd been going out everyday without me to get away from me. What made the whole situation worse, was today was the 4th anniversary for me and Brian. Nothing happened, just another sign I'd have to be signing divorce papers.

"Mommy?" Gracie asked wandering out of her bed randomly. She seemed confused Brian wasn't next to me. Again, he'd gone out. When he came back he'd return to his usual sleeping place. The sofa.

"Yes princess?"

"Why is daddy crying?"

"W-what?" I asked confusingly, picking her up and sitting her in bed with me.

"Downstairs. I went to get my teddy Poppy and I heard daddy upset. Have you and him fighted?"

"No baby" I sighed pretty concerned. "He's just not very well"

"Will you go and give him one of you're special hugs that makes him all better all the time? You haven't done one for daddy in a long while"

"I don't know sweetie," I frowned carrying her to bed. "I'm sure daddy has something special planned for you tomorrow, so I think you should get some rest. It's really late"

"Ok mommy. Please make daddy happy again, he has been really mardy with me for a while now and I haven't even done anything" she stuttered.

"I know baby, I'll go talk. Night, I love you so much Gray"

"Love you too momma"

I kissed her head, and left her to sleep. If Brian was crying, I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't feel like I was allowed to treat him like my husband anymore, I have no idea why. I walked downstairs and started to hear his frustration, I don't think it was crying. I slowly opened the door, and his head shot to me. He was stood up, holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Hey," I sighed.

"What?" He gritted his teeth and placed the bottle down harshly.

"Gray said she heard you, crying"

"Oh did she? So you thought you'd come in to try cheer me up? Try to be the best wife ever?" He said sarcastically wiping his wet cheeks. "I'm fine. Now, if you would.. leave"

"I don't want to leave, Brian"

"Ok well I want you too, so, please go"

"It's our anniversary, if you remembered, and I wanted to at least see your face on it"

"Well, I could easily say I didn't remember just like you did"

"Brian, just stop" I snapped. "That was uncalled for"

"I'm pretty sure that you lying to your 'best friend' is uncalled for, not a meaningless reference"

"I just, came to say happy anniversary alright?" I sighed, starting to fill up with tears. I constantly blinked to stop them from becoming to heavy so they wouldn't fall. I tossed a card on the sofa, and started to walk out the room.

"Wait" he said. I turned around in sight hope. "I, I don't want it"

I didn't reply. I just sobbed and left him alone.

Brians POV

The card on the sofa was drawing me in. As much as I was furious with Renee. She was my world and I loved her more than anything. It killed me to see her so alone, but she had to understand what she had done.

I opened the card, and read it in a whisper.

'To Brian
I never know what to write in cards, it just makes it harder knowing we aren't exactly civil at the minute. Never the less, it isn't an excuse to not tell you I love you. The past 4 years have been simply perfect. I'm proud to be Mrs Haner, and I am proud to have brought up such a beautiful, beautiful child. You are my world, Brian. I hope you actually read this - please forgive me Brian.
Love Renee x'

I slammed the card down and raced up the stairs. Renee was crying silently on our bed.

"Ren," I sighed. She quickly wiped her eyes and pretended she was alright. "Don't do that"

"What?"

"Pretend you're ok. You're not. You're a mess" I ran my fingers through my hair and watched her break into a sob. I sat next to her, staring at her in pieces. I couldn't bare it anymore. I grabbed hold of her and pulled her close to me, letting her cry into my chest. "Stop crying. It doesn't make things alright. Just, take a bath, relax - I'll be here when you're done. We'll talk. And maybe, just maybe you can have your anniversary present" I smirked.

Notes

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