Hostage

Alicia’s POV

I woke up and it was still dark outside, it must be really early, but for my plan exactly right.
I was entangled into Matt’s body, his arm, resting atop of my belly, my left leg was underneath his.
We had slept often like this, when we were still held hostage, and chained together, to wake up next to him knowing, there was nobody coming in at any moment, was even better… if there was not the sadness that way weighing me down, the sadness that Zacky had left in my heart.
I thought that this morning it would feel different, that maybe I had a clearer head and could think straight about everything that had happened, but I couldn’t.
It still hurt, thinking about the words he said to me…
And there was still this doubt, this insecurity, had he told the truth… or was he lying?!
The only way to find out was to go to him, talk to him… a final time.
But therefore I had to get out of Matt’s warm and loving embrace, out of his bed and leave.
I tried to wiggle away, without waking him, I didn’t want to hurt him and tell him that I went to Zacky for another talk, because I knew he must be hurt by that, even if he hasn’t any real feelings towards me, he must think that I only used him yesterday, because I went away at the best opportunity.
I will leave him a note, tell him I will be with Caroline to clear my head that I will be back later, we still had the test to do and I would go through with this plan, today was the day for clearance.

Thank you, Matt.
For being there for me!
I’m meeting with Caroline now, need a girl to girl talk.
I will come back for the test later, we will do this together.
Alicia

I laid the note on the bed next to him, got dressed and quietly left his house.
I had a good 30 minutes’ walk ahead of me, if I couldn’t reach Caroline to pick me up.
“It’s not even 6 in the morning, I hope you have a good reason waking me up before my kid does.” Caroline’s sleepy voice sounded on the other side.
“I need you. Can you pick me up?” I began to sob, I didn’t even know why.
“I’m on my way, tell me the address.” I heard a rustling of sheets and Brad’s voice in the background.

I told her the street I was walking on and hung up, the tears running down again and I didn’t even know why. But I couldn’t keep them in.
I felt guilty for feeling so good around Matt, I felt sad because of the way Zack and I had parted and I was completely clueless what to think about all this.
I needed my best friend, I needed her to help me sort through this and I needed to see Zack and talk to him again.

A car stopped next to me and a door slammed shut the next thing I know was being pulled into the arms of my best friend. Her hands rubbing my back and whispering in my ear that everything is alright.
I needed that, my best friend always knew what was exactly right.
“Come on, honey. Let’s drive you home and you tell me what happened.”
“Okay, but I need a favor from you. I need you to come with me to Zack, I need to talk to him.”
“Alright, why haven’t you been with Zack anyway? What happened, Alicia?” Caroline asked while we climbed into her car.

Zack’s POV

Tossing and turning and tossing and turning, this does not make any sense.
I got up again and saw it was not even six in the morning, maybe I needed to occupy myself with something to get to other thoughts.
I’m normally not the fitness type kind of guy, but I grabbed my sweatpants and my mp3 player put it to the loudest it could get and tried to shut the world out, to shut off all my thoughts and let my mind run free as does my body.

After one hour of pure running I was completely exhausted, sweat was pouring down on me and I needed nothing more than a shower.
Shutting off my thoughts had worked pretty good but as soon as I got back into my house it felt weird again.
I showered and let the hot water run over my body until I heard the doorbell.
“Damn it. Better not be Matt… please don’t be Matt. I couldn’t stand to see him now.” I murmured to myself.
I slung a towel around my hips and opened the door, still hoping for anyone but him.
“Hey man.” Johnny walked inside without me inviting him in.
“Hey. What do you want?” I asked a little annoyed.
“See how you are holding up.”
“I’m excellent, don’t you see?” I asked sarcastic and followed behind him to my living room.
“Great, why don’t I believe you then?” Johnny sat down on my couch and looked expectantly at me.
“Fine, I couldn’t sleep, went jogging to clear my head, helped a little. Better?” I asked him.
“Yes, why don’t we do something together? We could go have breakfast, hang out on the beach, and then go bar hopping?” Johnny asked.
“I’m not really a good company right now.” I walked over to the bathroom and let the towel drop and put new clothes on.
“I know you never are, but I thought I could get you to other thoughts.” Johnny yelled back.
“Ass! Fine, let’s go. It’s better to be not around… I don’t wanna run into Matt… or Alicia.” I replied and pulled the shirt over my head walking back to Johnny.
Johnny stood on my window looking out and I heard him murmur “Damn… I think it’s too late.”
“Huh? Too late for what?” I put sunglasses on and a base cap on my head.
“To not run into Alicia or Matt…” Johnny kept staring outside of the window and I walked towards him.
I stood next to him and saw two cars parking in my driveway.
I recognized Matt’s car right away, he got out of the driver seat and looked at the other car standing beside him.
The passenger door opened and Alicia got out, looking astonished at Matt and from the driver seat I saw Caroline got out.
Oh fucking hell, this couldn’t be true.
“I think someone wants to talk to you.” Johnny replied.
“Johnny, I need a favor, I will head out through the back door. Man, I cannot talk to them, I cannot see them now. I know I might be a coward… I just… give me some time. And there in the basket near the door, that’s her belongings, give them to her and just… get rid of them. Tell them to not bother with me.” I walked backwards, turned around not waiting for Johnny’s answer and sprinted out of the house.
I could take much, but this was too much.
I didn’t wanna talk to one of them… but maybe I would have… at least Alicia needed a little more explanation, but both of them… together here, no way.
And then why didn’t they come together? Didn’t Matt spend the time with her, he was supposed to be there for her… to soothe her… but they didn’t seemed to know that the other would be here…
What was going on?
I just hoped that they didn’t see me and that Johnny would have a good excuse why I’m not home.
I would call him later if the situation was cleared.
Brian wasn’t living too far away, maybe I could wait at his place for a couple of minutes, hours… days…
Until I thought I was ready to see the world again, but today definitely wasn’t.
I needed a couch, a friend and a beer…
I think Brian could supply everything of this… and if that guy also knew about Matt, I would have someone else to blame beside myself… Hopefully he was home.

Notes

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