Hostage

Alicia’s POV

I felt so tired and finally the tears had stopped, I guess I had no more tears left and my body was completely exhausted.
“Alicia? I will bring you to my bed now, okay?” I hadn’t realized that I was still lying on Matt’s couch.
That I was still in his arms, it felt so good to feel him so close again.
But how could this feel so good, when I still felt so bad about Zack.
I not only lost my current boyfriend, I lost a friend as well…
“Do you… do you think, Zack will talk to me again?” I asked Matt and was afraid of his answer.
“Of course he will. Damn, Alicia… Let’s just get you to bed, just relax and sleep a little, tomorrow we will think about something, tonight won’t get you far anyway.” Matt stood up with me in his arms.
I was still impressed that he could lift me up this easily.
I just held on to him and put my head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent and feeling safe, just like I had when we were abducted.
Sounds crazy… feels even crazier… but still the truth.
He went up the stairs still with me in his arms and then opened his bedroom door, he carefully sat me down on the bed.
“The bathroom is there, I will give you a shirt from me.” He let go of me and immediately I felt so lost again, the tears welling up in my eyes.

He walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a shirt then came back to me and met my eyes.
“Shit, Alicia. Don’t cry again, please. I can’t stand it.” Matt replied.
“I can’t help it.” I sobbed and tried to smile.
“What should I do?” Matt asked and sounded so desperate now.
I only had one chance, “Don’t leave me alone, please don’t go away. I need you.” I begged.
His eyebrows lifted and he looked surprised. “I.. I.. of course I will stay if you want me to.”

I let my back fall against the mattress being too exhausted to hold myself up, and it was so soft and I smelled at the sheets, it smelled like him.
“Here.” Suddenly Matt’s face was hovering over mine.
He held the shirt out for me to take it, still too tired to move, I just looked up to him and slowly lifted my hand to grab the shirt, why did everything seemed to be so complicated between us?

When everything seemed to be so easy right now, even under these circumstances… why now?!
“I’m in the bathroom, you can change. I will be back in a minute.” Matt told me and vanished behind the door.
I still didn’t want to move, but I dragged my body of the bed, I pulled the bed sheet away, then got rid of my clothes and pulled Matt’s way too big shirt over my head. As soon as that was done I went to his bed.
I moved to the left side of the bed, then moved over to right, on which side would he want to sleep?
On which side does he normally sleep?
I got out of the bed again and stood before it frowning, I shook my head, why was I even thinking about this?!

The door to the bathroom opened a bit but Matt didn’t come out, “Can I come back in?” Matt asked from inside the bathroom.
“Yes, sure.” I told him and he came out of the bathroom, he was wearing his boxers and a shirt.
“On which side do you normally sleep?” I asked, Matt moved beside me.
“In the middle, since I am sleeping alone. So you get to choose.” He smiled a little and I nodded, I crawled over the bed to the left side again.
I let my head sink down in the pillow and a heavy sigh escaped my lips.
I stared at the ceiling, then the bed moved beside me and my eyes wandered over to Matt.
He didn’t look my way and as soon as he lied beside me he turned his back on me, he seemed tense.
I moved to my side as well, putting my hand to his back and he tensed up even more.
“Matt?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah?” He turned to his back and my hand moved along his arm, moving with his turning.
I looked to my hand on his arm and he did the same, but I didn’t pull away and he didn’t shove it away.
“I want and I need to do the test tomorrow, I need… no we need to clarify the situation. Will you be there? I think I need you for that.” I said and hoped he would be true to his words earlier.
“Of course, I told you I would. I am here for you Alicia, for everything you need me. I am here for you.” He had turned towards me completely and pulled me into his body, his strong arms around me again and I sighed.
Maybe I could find some sleep now, and tomorrow I would get some clearance, tomorrow I would do the test, with Matt’s help I would do it.
And then I had to ask Caroline to drive with me over to Zack, to grab my stuff, he told me he would pack it… maybe he would be there, maybe I could talk to him again.
Maybe Caroline could judge on his behavior if he had said the truth?
Caroline… damn… I had to talk to her about everything anyway, she would know what to do…
I was just so confused, I know I liked Zacky and we had such a good time together, and I know that he couldn’t just have been together with me because he pitied me.
We were so good together, but… why did I feel so good with Matt now?
And why didn’t I realize that before?
Why was Matt there suddenly?
Did he talk to Zack?

I should really sleep now and tomorrow, I will sort through everything.

Matt’s POV

I shouldn’t tell her what I feel now… I shouldn’t, she was heartbroken right now. She cried the whole evening, I would just confuse her.
But it felt just too right to have her in my arms again, to have her in my bed, to have her close to me cuddled into my side.
She had fallen asleep an hour ago, at the beginning she was tossing and turning, but now she was quiet and lay still.
Her body draped over mine and I could only barely suppress the smile, the smile that she was mine.
Just for tonight maybe, but at least I had this.
I needed to talk to Zack, I had to know what he told her… I had to know what made her cry so bad, did she really was so in love with him, which made her cry so much?
Did he hurt her that bad?!
And another question, does she already know how I feel? Did Zack tell her?
She wanted to do the pregnancy test tomorrow, I was glad that she asked me to be there for her, I needed to know and so did she, whatever the outcome was, we were in this together.
If she was with my child, I would take full responsibilities, I would be there for her… if we were a couple of not, that wouldn’t change a thing for me.

I always wanted children, with the woman I loved… which could be possible right now, only that she was not mine.
She was no one’s at the moment, after I would talk to Zack and knew what had happened between them and the break up, I would talk to Alicia.
I would tell her everything, all my feelings I would put it all on the table.
And then it was her turn, then she had to make a move, tell me what she felt, what she wanted…
I know it wasn’t fair from me, she must be confused as hell, but I had to have clearance now.

Alright, so my plan was set, I would get up early, I would try to talk to Zack first, maybe come back even before Alicia would notice I was gone, then we could do the test and I would confess everything to her.
Sounds like a good plan to me…

Notes

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