Hostage

Zack’s POV

I left Matt standing there and made my way back to Alicia, I didn’t plan my talk but I had to do it now.
I found her standing with Arin and Kim on the bar, I hoped she hadn’t heard from Val anything or this would get even more complicated.
I breathed deeply in and out and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Oh hey, there you are. We were looking for you.” Alicia smiled and I nodded.
“We need to talk. Come on.” I grabbed her elbow and guided her away from the others a little, but not too far away.
“Alright, Zack, you are scaring me a little, what is going on?” Alicia turned fully towards me and I looked her in the eye, I breathed in and held my breath, thinking of the right words, but couldn’t really find them.
“Zack?” Alicia looked more than confused and I let the air rush out of my lungs.
“We need to stop seeing each other. It’s over.” I turned away, hoped she would accept it like this but knew she wouldn’t.
“Wait, what?” She grabbed my arm and turned me around.
“What do you mean? I thought we… I mean we came along good? We wanted to try? I noticed you being distanced, but you said everything was okay… what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” Alicia asked and sounded desperate.
“No, you did nothing wrong, Alicia. I just realized that this is not right.” I tried again not meeting her eyes.
“Then why? Just give me a why… I mean I deserve that…” She still held my arm and I felt her grab even tighter.
“A why… you want a why? Maybe because you were not honest with me? Maybe because I was just with you because I felt pity, is that enough of a why for you?” I hated myself for saying this and it was big fucking lie! Well, half of it… I never felt pity, but she did lie to me.
She felt more for Matt and she tried to deny it, just like him… She tried to be honest with me, but she wasn’t, now I had to hurt her to let her go…

How I could say this I didn’tknow, I felt bad so bad, for making her think even for one second that this was the truth, because… she was such a strong and amazing woman, she didn’t deserve this but right now I had no other why…
“What do you mean? Lie to you? Why pity?” Her eyes filled with tears and I had to swallow thickly.
“You think I didn’t realize that you are carrying a pregnancy test with you since days? Trying to hide it from me in your bag? Really? You think I am that blind, Alicia?”
“Zack, I just didn’t know how you would react… Matt asked me to do it, but I was… I still am afraid.”She sobbed now and I had to do this quickly now… had to get away from her before I tell her the truth, before I say that this was all wrong all just a lie…
“And pity… well Alicia, I thought you would be ill… I thought you needed someone, so I was there. That’s it. You are fine now, why bother with me…” I trailed off couldn’t complete it anymore when the tears were running freely down her cheeks now.
“I know you feel more for Matt, I know you want him. Go get him, because I don’t want you anymore. It’s over Alicia… I will pack up your things, which are left in my home, you can get them tomorrow or I can bring them to Caroline, however you want.”
“Why do you say these things, Zack?” She sobbed even harder, her hand falling away from my arm.
“WHY DO YOU SAY THESE THINGS?!” She yelled.
“Let it go, Alicia. I’m done.” I turned around and heard Alicia cry, my eyes were closed, when I opened them again I saw Johnny standing before me.
“Why did you say that, bro?” Johnny asked and looked after Alicia.
“Is she gone?” I asked quietly. Johnny stepped a little to the side looking behind me then nodded.
“She is gone. Will you explain now why you were such an ass and lied to her like that?”

Alicia’s POV

I knew that something had been going on with Zacky but I never expected this. He broke up with me, and he didn’t just break up, he was being a complete ass about it.
I could see in his face that he was lying to me but still I couldn’t help it, I felt the tears running down my face and I didn’t know what to reply to him.
I felt hurt by his words, even if I knew he wasn’t telling me the truth.
I turned around, couldn’t stand to be near him right now…

Then the insecurity made his way through, what if he wasn’t lying and I just wished he was, what if he really was just with me because he felt pity… because he thought I would be ill, because he knew how hurt I was that Matt had turned his back on me… what if…
The tears were running and I thought they would never stop, my heart beat so fast, my sobs so loud, that I thought the whole club must hear it and look at me with pity in their eyes…
Pity… like Zack…

Then I ran into someone “Sorry” I mumbled but he held me steady, I looked up and saw a familiar face through my teary eyes.
“Alicia, what is wrong?” Matt asked and grabbed me into a hug.
That was when all hell broke loose, I couldn’t talk just cried and cried harder, my legs gave in and I felt too exhausted to stand on my own.
Strong arms grabbed me and pulled me up, Matt held me in his arms and I noticed him walking.
My head lay in the crook of his neck, my tears wetting his shirt and my breathing so uneven that I thought I would be hyperventilating at any second.
“Ssshhhh, I will get you out of her, babe.” Matt deep voice soothed me and I closed my eyes, wanted to forget, and didn’t want to look back….

He placed me in the back of a car and got in beside me, he told the driver an address and then pulled me close to him again.
“What happened?” Matt murmured near my ear, his hands softly pushing the hair of my face.
His thumb whisking the tears away, this was a lost course, because they would never stop…
“Zack…” I sobbed.
“What did he do?” Matt sounded angry.
“I.. he…” I shook my head, couldn’t say, what if Matt would tell me the same… what if he would also turn his back on me… again?!
I began to cry harder, I needed him now, not wanting to let go of him…
“Alicia, calm down. It’s okay… we will just go home. You will lie down for a bit, then we will talk, alright? Is that okay? I won’t leave your side, I promise.”
I nodded into his chest and closed my eyes, let his warmth and strength hold me and tried to forget… just a little bit.

But I always heard Zack’s voice in my head… Pity… Lie…
He found the pregnancy test… of course he thought that I lied to him… I didn’t mean to…
I was just afraid… of the result, of his reaction, of my own, of Matt’s…
I snapped my eyes open and looked at Matt, he stroked my hair and held me close, why did my heart not hurt so much anymore… I was still sad and couldn’t believe what just had happened but still, it didn’t feel that bad anymore, lying in his arms, feeling his closeness…
Why was this feeling so right?
Was this what Zacky meant?

Notes

Comments...

Was that the right thing to do?!