Hostage

Zack’s POV

“Will you tell me now why you said something like that to her?” Johnny asked again.
“What?” I sighed, I knew it would hurt to let her go, but seeing the tears and hearing her confusion was really ripping my heart out, I didn’t need Johnny to keep nagging me with questions right now.
“Why did you say that? That was a real asshole move. You could have told her… that it’s just not working out…” Johnny kept on talking.
“Would also be a lie…” I replied and moved forward.
Johnny kept walking beside me. “You wanna go home? Lace didn’t drink so we can bring you?”
“Yes, thanks.” I nodded and Johnny clapped my back. “Give me a second.”
He vanished into the crowd, I looked around and tried to see if Alicia and Matt could be found somewhere but I didn’t see them… I didn’t see anyone actually.
“Alright, we can leave.” Johnny and Lacey stood beside me and we walked out of the club, I still looked around, trying for a small glance at Alicia again, but they must be gone by now.

Lacey drove and Johnny turned towards me, didn’t say anything so I remained silent as well.
“Zack, tell us what happened…” Lacey spoke up first.
“What should I say?” I shrugged.
“What happened exactly… and why you ended it like that… I told you before that was really mean.”
“What did you say to her?” Lacey asked looking at me in the review mirror.
“I ended it, haven’t been too nice in my words, alright? I wanted to… lie to her. I needed to lie to her, so she would let go.” I defended myself.
“Why that?” Johnny stared at me but I didn’t meet his eyes.
“Why hurt her in this way, Zacky?” Lacey asked softly.
“Because I couldn’t stand her telling me, that she didn’t want me, alright… I didn’t wanna hear that she is rather with someone else, so I wanted to be the one to end it, now before I get any deeper into it. I wanted to hurt her, so she wouldn’t be deny anything… I wanted to end it so she can be happy. So Matt can be happy… SO EVERYBODY CAN BE HAPPY, IS THAT ENOUGH?” I yelled the last part making Lacey flinch in the front seat.
I sighed, moving forward and put my hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry. I’m just… why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t he say something right in the beginning?”
“Who? And say what?” Lacey asked but I looked at Johnny and he squirmed in his seat.
“You knew?” I looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“I had a suspicion from the beginning… but he really told me yesterday… But shit.. I told him he had to talk to you, believe me. But Matt thought she didn’t want him anymore.. he thought he would get between you and her. Fuck, you really have to talk to him…” Johnny cursed a little more and I frowned.
“Fucking awesome, so everybody knew that, but me? Shit… I like her.. I mean I liked her a lot… We were good together, but I knew something was wrong.. I didn’t have this in mind, I mean she told me that she and Matt had a thing going, but I thought that was just in that moment… you know? How could I have been so blind? I thought the entire time she missed him as a friend or was sad because he didn’t value the friendship with her… she must have not realized that… she was as in love with him as she was with her, and I… I got between them… Wow… I'm such an idiot… And I ran deeper and deeper into this…” I trailed off thinking of the moments I had shared with her… I felt even worse now.
“But why hurt her? And Zack it’s not your fault… She must have been confused you are an amazing guy, you have been there for her, she must like you. How could she not.” Lacey smiled a little at me.
“Just not as much as Matt…” I said sadly.
“I still don’t get it, why did you feel the need to back off, I’m not saying that it’s not right, did he talk to you in the end? Or did she say something?” Johnny asked.
“No, well… Matt was still denying and I had the whole week a feeling that something was wrong.. I just had a gut feeling. I wanted to wait for this evening to make a decision and believe me this was not easy for me. I looked at Matt, he tried to keep away from Alicia, but I could feel the tension in him, I saw his eyes on her, I knew he wanted her… I just haven’t recognized it before. And okay, I might have reacted wrong at first… I wanted to tease him a little, see if he would finally say something. I mean he is my best friend, he should have said something, if I was with the girl he wanted, he should have talked to me, damn it.” I tried not to yell this time.
“And then you felt like you had to back off? But maybe she was happy with you, shouldn’t you have talked to her first… Heard her say what she wants? Confront her with Matt’s feelings maybe?” Johnny asked and what was he up to, he just pissed me off more and more…
“What? Why I was sure to back off? I WAS FUCKING SURE TO BACK OFF BECAUSE I HEARD MY GIRLFRIEND SCREAM FOR MATT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!” I couldn’t contain the screaming myself now, this was bugging me more and more… each night, when Alicia had her nightmares, I held her and tried to soothe her, and each night I told her I was there for her, but every time she screamed for Matt, not my name… she wanted Matt, she needed Matt.
I wasn’t Matt…
“She is doing what?” Johnny and Lacey asked at the same time. We stood before my house and they both turned towards me.
I sighed even more. “She is having nightmares… since the abduction… each night, she is crying and screaming… not one night without it. She always screams for Matt, at first I only woke up and heard her murmur but then it got worse and worse… I tried to ask if she remembered something from her dreams, but she doesn’t… she doesn’t even know that she woke up and I held her, I soothed her… She doesn’t know she is screaming for him, while I lie beside her…”
“Sorry, man. I didn’t know…” Johnny looked with pity at me and I couldn’t stand that look.
“I’m sorry, Zacky. You are one of the good ones, but I guess she was not the right. You will find the fitting piece… you did the right thing, even if it hurts now…” Lacey looked at me with sympathy.
“Yes, I know.. but why does doing the right thing hurt so bad? Shouldn’t it feel good?” I asked and opened the door.
“It will… It just needs time, like always.”
I nodded, “Yeah I guess you are right.”
I climbed out of the car and walked up to my house, I waved a last time and felt a little better after having someone to talk to about everything.

When I opened my door I saw a few of Alicia’s things lying around and all the better mood vanished in an instant.
I grabbed her bag and clothes and everything that I found and put it into a basket, every little thing I found in the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom everywhere, it took me nearly one hour to look everywhere, when I thought I got everything I placed the basket near the door.
Let Matt get her stuff tomorrow or the day after, just out of my sight… it would hurt to see her again, to see her with him would hurt even more…
But hey, I did the right thing, I should be happy, right?

I shook my head walked to my bedroom and laid myself onto the bed and looked at the ceiling, why did Matt never say a thing…
Haven’t he realized that he loved her?
Did he really take so long to see it?
I shook my head, at least I think I could let go of her now… now was better than later… now was good…
Now was… time to sleep and heal your hurting heart…

Notes

So guys... today another Chapter for you.. you don't have to wait another day, how do you like that?!

I think I earned me some more comments with this, right?!

A little trip into Zack's mind! :)