Matt’s POV

We ate and just did some small talk nothing too serious, because I guess we both knew that the mood could change suddenly between us.
I tried not to stare at her during dinner and I tried to act as casual as I could.
“So you and Zack, huh?” Perfect, Matt. You idiot…
“Hm?” She looked up to me with a frown.
“I just mean you and Zack are a couple now. I just… fuck I don’t know. Sorry, I’m standing a little beside myself. Just ignore me.”
“If that would be so easy…” I heard Alicia murmur.

After that the silence followed again, holy hell this was not how it should be.
We had so much to talk about, we were so easy around each other and when I looked at her I couldn’t think about anything else then kiss her and undress her and have her as mine.
I shook my head, trying to get rid of the pictures of her naked body in my head.
How could I be thinking about the naked girlfriend of my best friend?
This was not normal, problem was I just couldn’t accept her as Zack’s girlfriend…
“Are you done?” Alicia stood beside me suddenly and I looked up to her.
“Done? With what?” I frowned.
“The food?” She motioned to my plate and I nodded.
“Sorry, yeah. I’m done. Let me help you.” I grabbed the plate at the same time she did and my hand covered hers.
I couldn’t help but let my thumb move over her soft skin and haven’t realized until now how much I had missed to touch her and to feel her skin on mine.
My eyes wandered away from our hands and up to her face and I saw Alicia staring at my tattooed hand covering hers with wide eyes.
“Alicia, I-” Before I could finish my sentence she pulled her hand away and reluctantly I let her go.
“I… I will bring this to the kitchen.” She grabbed the plates and boxes and nearly ran away.
I let my head sink down, damn it.

It took her a few minutes to come back and I moved over to the couch, sitting down and burying my face in my hands.
“What does Zacky want that we discuss?” I heard Alicia quiet voice behind me.
“I don’t know. I guess he wants us to be friends…” I looked up to her and she sat down next to me.
“And why is this so weird?” Alicia motioned between me and herself and now was the moment where I could tell her, that friends wouldn’t be working between us that I wanted more…
But when I opened my mouth nothing came out.
“Do you know what I mean? I thought we had a connection when we were imprisoned. I thought you cared for me and just one… let’s say a misunderstanding made everything so awkward?” Alicia asked.
“I don’t think that is it. I told you already that I am sorry for not reacting towards your call. I meant it Alicia and you still mean a lot to me. We were so close and I don’t wanna lose this closeness to you.” She looked at me a little surprised, this would probably be the closet I could tell her how my feelings really were, without hurting Zack in the process.
“And I know you told me already that you are not, but can I please ask you for a favor?”
“What is it?” Alicia asked a little reluctant.
“Would you make a pregnancy test? I mean, even if you think you are sure, there is still the possibility that… you are… And I want to make sure that you are okay, and if there is a chance of…” I took her hand in mine and she nodded.
“I will do a test, if that’s what you want.” She pulled her hand away.
“I am happy with Zack, you know. He makes me laugh, he cares for me.” She said looking me in the eye and my heart stopped for a second, why did she say that now?
“I know. He seems happy as well.” I tried to smile and saw her features were motionless.
“If he makes you happy, then I guess that’s exactly what you need, right?”
“Right.” She nodded.
“Matt?” I lifted my head up to hers and she looked so lost sitting there, not the strong woman I had come to known in the last weeks.
“Yes?”
“I missed you.” She whispered and I couldn’t stand this anymore. I grabbed her small frame and pulled her towards me, hugged her body to mine.
I felt her sob into my shoulder, small whimpers escaping her.
“I was so afraid. I had such a hard time after the abduction and you weren’t there! You just weren’t!” When I thought before my heart was hurting, now it was even worse.
“I’m sorry, Alicia. I am so sorry. I should have been there, but I wasn’t. I wish I could make it up to you.” I stroked her back and whispered reassuring words in her ear.
I didn’t really know if she knew, how this made me feel or if that had the same meaning for her that it had for me but I would take what I would get.

Zack’s POV

It was pretty late, I looked at my phone and then walked to my car and made my way home.
I thought of every moment that I shared with Alicia, when we were alone everything was perfect and it felt wonderful.
But somehow I had a feeling that something was not right between us, I hoped that the evening Alicia and Matt shared had helped the situation, if that was not working I didn’t really know what to do. I just wanted them to get a long again, I knew Alicia felt bad about the situation with Matt and Matt was behaving weird around Alicia as well.

I parked my car in the driveway and saw that Matt’s car was still there, so they must have at least done some talking.
When I thought about everything again, I didn’t really like the idea of Matt sharing a whole evening with Alicia alone, I wanted them to get along and be friends, but I haven’t thought that maybe they could develop feeling for each other…
What if the feelings they had for each other during their abduction, were never gone?

I walked towards the door with a churning feeling in my stomach, now to top it all the déjà-vu feeling that I had after each night came back and the emotions I had during the night as well as the memories made everything even worse.
What if…?!

I shook my head and opened the door quietly, I dreaded a little what I would see now but when I walked into my living room I saw not what I expected.
Matt sat on the couch, zapping through the TV and Alicia was sleeping her head leaning on his shoulder, blanket covering her body.
“Hey man.” I said quietly.
“Oh hey.” Matt replied. I walked further towards him “She fell asleep quite a while ago.”
“Oh really?” I walked towards her and gave Alicia a small kiss on the forehead.
Matt got up from the couch and I walked together with him in the kitchen.
“How was it?” I asked him and saw Matt glancing to the living room.
“Okay, we talked, sorted through some things, was long overdue I guess.” Matt replied.
“Good, good.” I followed his glance and a thought struck my mind.
“Can I ask you something?” I moved uncertain from one foot to another.
“Sure, what is it?” Matt frowned his eyes moving towards me now.
“She fell asleep, right? Did she… hm… wake up during that time?” I asked him.
Matt looked at me a little surprised then shook his head. “No, she slept. Without waking up, why?”
“Hmm… nothing.” I had guessed that much.
“Alright, I should leave now.” Matt said but was still looking at me expectantly.
“Okay, I will bring Alicia to bed. Hey you still remember us going to the Club on Friday, right? You will be there?” I asked him, maybe I had figured something more out about everything until then.
“Sure, yeah. I will be there…” Matt nodded and I walked together with him to the door.
“Hey, Zack I really appreciate what you did for us. I never wanted to hurt her feelings or anything, she is important to me and… yeah… thank you.” Matt hugged me and opened the door, before I could ask him anything else he already left and left me confused behind.
When I had first thought about this, it sounded like a good idea, now I wasn’t so sure any more about it.

Notes

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