I don't belong here.

The album release party was soon and everything was set. The booze and music was in place and excitement was getting to me. We were all dressed, upstairs sat in my room with a few shots when we heard commotion downstairs. I and Alex wore our dresses and black heels; she had her hair straightened whereas mine was curled. We walked downstairs with the Jimmy and Zacky to be greeted by Matt and Johnny.

"Look what the cat dragged in" i ran to Johnny and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I felt hands on my waist pull me away from him, it was Matt. He leaned in and whispered “i promise this party won’t end like the last one". "What was wrong with how it ended Matt, I never felt happier", he kissed my cheek and something inside of me wished it was my lips instead. What we were talking about was only known between me and Matt, no one else knew. Last time they were round mine partying, shit went down between me, Brian and Matt. At the end he leaned in to me before walking out the door and me chasing after him. The words he spoke to me were sweet. After me chasing him, what happened at the end made the night worthwhile.

flashback………………………………………………………………………………………

He put his hand on my arm, and i could see he was truly sorry, he was hurting. I was hurting that he was hurting. What was happening?? Did i have feelings for him, even after him scaring me like he did? He leaned in and whispered.

"'im sorry for how I acted tonight, I was jealous because I care about you and also when we were outside earlier I just got so caught up and when you were kissing him I just couldn't control myself. I'm sorry so I understand if you don't want to ever talk or see me again...“

Tears were gathering in his eyes, it hurt me to see him like this. He then took his hand from my shoulder and walked out of the door. I didn’t realize he felt this way about me. At this moment in time I was holding hands with Brian, I let go at his hand and rushed out the door after Matt, tears began to stream down my face. Before heading out the door, I turned back to see Brian. He had an expression on his face that made me feel sick, he looked like he had just lost a limb. Was he ok? Did he have feelings for me as well? I’ve only ever seen that expression once on other man in my life, Adam. I decided I’d sought that out later, but first Matt. I rushed outside; he was sat by the road, smoking a cigarette. I place my hands around his neck, he jumped, guess he didn’t think I would come after him. He looked up and smiled, tears were falling from his eyes. I felt one hit my hand, and with the other I wiped his face.

“'Matt, if you think that I don't care about you you're wrong, I was only kissing Brian because it was a game I didn't think you'd get jealous of it, if I knew how you felt then maybe I wouldn't have kissed him…”

“Really? “ He looked up at me, a smile started to emerge. “I think I care about you Matt, but im scared you know…things with guys haven’t been great lately”.

Things went from nothing to something very quickly. He leaned in and cupped my cheek. Our lips brushed each-other, he slightly pulled away, and he was scared. “I want you Matt”. He then crashed his lips against mine. It was heaven. He was kissing me hard, I could feel the lust rush through him and out of his lips. He traced the outline of my lips with his tongue, tugging on my bottom lip sending a shiver down my spine. I opened my mouth a little to let him in. Our tongues collided as he imitated sex as he fucked my mouth with his tongue. My hand traced through his hair, whilst the other went up his shirt, following the outline of his muscles with my fingers. We were both sat on the curb but he managed to lift me on to him, he leaned back on to the pavement as I straddled him. I felt his hands slide up my back and stroke my spine ever so slightly. It made me groan and I felt him smile.

“My house isn’t far from here, what do you think?” pleaded Matt.

“Take me home Matt, I need you” He smiled and grabbed my hand and we quickly walked to his, every so often stopping against a lamp-post to kiss. I couldn’t keep off of him, he was like a drug and I was addicted. We got to his and didn’t get to open the door before he pushed me against the wall, throwing my head back and pinning my wrists down. God I felt so hot right now, I wanted him inside me so bad. His lips crashed against mine once me, he then kissed my sweet spot on my jaw and continued going down my neck. I pushed him off of me to open the door, by the grunting sound he made I guess he wasn’t happy. I opened the door and before I knew it, matt picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and took me to his bedroom.

The door swung open and he put me on his bed, he pushed me down and was now on top of me. His body was between my legs and I was wrapped around him as we kissed, tongues entwining and be as rough as we could be. I felt his hand got up my top and grab my breast; he slowly massaged it making me go crazy, his lips found my neck again and he bit down hard. I wanted to scream but I was saving that for later. My hands found their way up his back and tore away his shirt. He pulled away and whispered in my ear: “that’s my favourite you know”

“I doubt that is your favourite item at the moment”.

“I guess not, I like what I have in my hands at the moment” He smiled; making me chuckle, I felt the growing bulge in his crouch against the inside of my leg. He carried on kissing me working his way down my body to my inner thigh. He kissed me thigh and I felt heat gather as his kisses were becoming intoxicating. “Hurry up and fuck me already!!” He looked up and laughed. “You’re the boss”. He went back between my legs and tore away my panties with his teeth. “Starting rough I see, keep going Sanders”. He pulled me closer to him and I unzipped his zipper and pulling his underwear down, letting free his large friend. I wrapped my hand around pumping it hard, his face expressed his pleasure. He groaned and his heartbeat got faster and louder. My hunger for him grew, and I knew I needed him now more than ever. I guided his rock hard shaft to my entrance. I felt the tip hit the start, I looked up at matt who had a worried look on his face.

I held his cheek in my hand, “what’s wrong baby” “Im scared im going to hurt you, as much as I want you, I don’t want to hurt you”.

“Im ready, you won’t hurt me, I want you Matt, I need you”.

He smiled and pushed himself into me, it made me wince. He was much bigger than the other guys id been with. After a while I adjusted and he picked up the pace. It was amazing and every time he pushed in me, further and further he went, the closer I got to the edge. I could feel the electric gathering in my core, I lost control and bit down hard on matt’s collarbone, I raked my nails down his back. He arched his back and so did i. The tension between us was getting too much to bear anymore. “Oh fuck im ready Matt”.

“Hold on babe, hold on”. He quickened his pace, I couldn’t catch my breath, I started to pant. I knew he was nearing the edge as well as his movement were starting to become sloppy and his nails were digging in my hips. When he went over the edge, so did I, like we were one. He groaned and fell beside me. I lay with my head resting on his chest, circling the outline of his tattoos on his chest with the sweat glistening on his perfectly sculpted muscles.

“Im sorry”.

“Matt? Why are you sorry?”

“I’ve messed everything up, my greed and lust, I’ve fucked everything up”. I sat up and faced him, “No you have not, this was perfect, but we can’t tell the boys”.

“Yeah probably best to keep this a secret”.

“A secret, in which im happy to make again”. I kissed him again and nestled back into to his big strong arms. I felt safe and comfortable. Nothing could ruin this.

………………………………… Present: Party………………………………………………….

Everyone was here and the party was rocking. Music was blaring and booze was flowing. The atmosphere was fun and no drama had happened. But one thing clouded my mind, where was Brian? All the lads were here but Brian. Hadn’t seen him properly since the last party I had here. We hadn’t spoken probably more than two words to each other. I was dancing with Zacky, his hands were grasped on my hips but I knew nothing would come of this. When the song finished he kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly, “he has fallen for you hard, and it’s frightening”. “Yeah Matt’s sweet it’s obvious, I think I feel the same” I looked over to the kitchen, him and Jimmy were taking shots before he caught me staring at him, he smiled showing his dimples off. “No not matt, I mean Bri; he has it hard for you”. It hit me like a ton of bricks, shit did he really like me, I never thought about him in this situation. Well I did when we kissed but I think that was the jack Daniel’s messing with my head.

“Brian! Really? That’s not true, is it?” Zacky smiled, and leaned in. “Open your eyes to more than just this, more than matt, he is a great guy but just look around you may find something else you want, or prefer”. He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. I was facing my door to see someone walk through the door. It was Brian, I don’t know what happened but my heart skipped a beat. Zacky really got inside my head. Brian was looking good tonight, a black shirt and black jeans. His hair was straightened as usual and his black fedora was worn titled to the side as usual. Back in black, but god he was hot. What was I saying? What about Matt? Oh good lord help me now!
Guess he caught me staring at him. He shot me a smile. It sent shivers down my spine and my knees went weak, I lost my balance. I was heading to the floor until Zacky caught me “Whoa Nora, you ok? Want to sit down?” I sorted myself out and regained my balance and whatever dignity I had left. “Thanks Z, just a need a drink that’s all” He smiled. “Hang on, why don’t you, umm go talk to him, ill fetch you your drink”. I nodded and slowly walked over to Brian, if I did anything Matt wouldn’t notice he had gone out back with Jimmy and Johnny.

Brian was facing the door as he was talking to someone. I went up behind him and placed my arms around his waist “hello stranger” He turned his head to me as mine was rested on his shoulder, he shot me another smile. “Hello Little Red”. He turned around and put his hands on my hips and looked me up and down. “Even more beautiful than before, im sorry I haven’t been around lately, been busy I guess”. “It’s ok, I’ve missed you, we all have, I mean”.

He grasped my hand and twirled me around. He made me dizzy, both physically and emotionally. “Glad you made it!” It was Matt, I let go of Brian’s hand as the lads greeted him. It was nice to see everyone on the right page. “Guys where’s Zacky?” The boys giggled like teen girls. “What?” Something was up. “Let’s just say he has the perfect company at the moment” Johnny smiled and motioned us all to look over at the kitchen counter. Alex was perched onto the counter with her legs wrapped around Zacky, with each other tongues in each other’s mouth. “Oh good lord, help us all” Brian laughed, oh how I missed that laugh. It made me blush and Matt noticed. “You ok Nora?” He smiled. “It’s just really warm, how about some shots then boys, im fucking parched!” The boys raised their beers and cheered in unison. As we headed to the kitchen I felt a hand on my lower back, I looked to see Brian. He didn’t look at me but I knew he saw my reaction as a smile began to emerge at the corner of his mouth.

“Stop staring at me little Red, we don’t want to cause a scene, again “It made me chuckle, making him smile once again.

Notes

comments please, eventhough ive introduced adam and drama may occur, i want to focus on building relationships and to see who Nora falls for xx

Thanks to @DaniVengeance for helping me with ideas for this chapter :)