No Strings Attached

~ Jess's POV~

The sun streaming in through the white curtains woke me up from a much needed sleep. Finally opening my eyes and taking a minute to figure out what was happening, I looked to my side and there Brian was, sleeping peacefully.

His mouth was slightly parted and I could hear a faint snore coming from him. Brian had his arms tucked under the pillow and the white sheet barely covering his lower body. I smiled widely to myself. This man laying next to me is mine. Every single inch of him is mine. And soon, he will be mine forever and I, his.

I slowly got out of the bed and threw on a Brian's t-shirts that was big on him, but it fit a pregnant me, and a fresh pair of underwear. My belly was getting bigger and bigger every day and that meant we were getting closer to meeting our baby girl. I walked into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and used the restroom. After doing my business in the bathroom, I waltzed down to the kitchen to make breakfast for Mel, who was starving, and for Brian.

Today was the day he was leaving for a three month tour...and I hate it. I don't want him to leave, especially when I'm this far along. But, it's his job and he has to leave. As much as I don't want him to, I have to support him and stand beside him.

I decided to make waffles with some bacon, scrambled eggs, and cut up some fresh fruit. Turning on some music, I silently danced and cooked. After making breakfast and setting the table, I walked back up the stairs and Brian was still asleep.

On the tips of my toes, I walked to the side of the bed he was sleeping on and slowly sat on his back. He stirred a bit, but didn't wake up. I kissed his spine, leaving his skin with goosebumps.

"Wake up, Bri." I whispered into his ear and kissed the tattoo behind his ear, the little Roman numeral 7. "I made breakfast. Mel and I are really hungry, and I'm sure you are too after last night."

"I'm willing to hold off breakfast for more of you. I don't think I'll ever get my fill." By now, he turned over and gripped my hips, his morning wood poking me. I bit my lip and suppressed a moan. "God, the things you do to me woman."

He sat up and slipped his hands under the shirt and ran his hands all along my back, into my underwear, gripping my behind. My hands gripped his shoulders, my fingers grazing down his back. He placed kisses all along my neck and shoulder, pulling the shirt down and exposing my breast.

"Wait- Bri..." I moaned and he smirked. "Breakfast. It's gonna g-get c-cold." I stuttered when Brian licked my nipple and blew air on it.
"I'd rather have you for breakfast." And with that, he flipped us over.

~

After we were in the bedroom for what seemed like hours, we walked down to the kitchen to eat. Surprisingly, the food was still a little warm and we ate it.

"When do you guys leave?" Sadness filled my voice.

"At 7. So in a few hours." I nodded, looked at the clock that read 12. I looked down because I knew that if I looked into his eyes, I would cry. So, I bit my tongue and swallowed hard.

"Love? Jess?" I didn't look up. I closed my eyes shut and held my breath.

"Aww my love, please don't cry. I hate seeing such a beautiful woman like you cry. You break my heart when you cry." I couldn't hold it back any longer. I let it all out. Brian immediately jumped out of the stool and took me in his arms, sitting on the floor, rocking and singing to me.

"I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know what I'll do without you." I kissed his bare chest and snuggled deeper into him.

"I'll miss you more, Love. I promise you there won't be a second that goes by when I won't be thinking about you and Mel." He turned me around so that my back was to his chest and his hands cupped my swollen belly. "I love you so much, you don't even know."

"I'm going to miss this. The breakfasts, your hugs, your smell, your eyes, your kisses, and the sex." He laughed and kissed my head.

"I'll definitely miss the sex too. When I come back, my balls are going to be swollen and blue. I don't know how I'll live."

"That's why you have a hand, Haner." I smirked and felt his chest vibrate with a loud laugh. I laughed too and leaned against him once again.

"I can't wait to get married. When I get back, we will definitely start talking about the wedding. Okay?" I just nodded and felt the tears prick my eyes once again. My chest tightened and I had to tighten my lips into a thin line and shut my eyes tightly.

"How about we go shower together? And we can have another round in the shower? We haven't done that in a while." Brian suggested.

"You want more?"

"Well yeah...you had like 7 orgasms." I blushed a deep red and hid my face in the crook of his neck, feeling completely embarrassed. "Come on, let's go."

Brian and I stood up and walked upstairs, my stomach doing twists with excitement at the thought of what to expect while in the shower. I did know one thing, that each time we have sex, it's always different. Everything with Brian is always different; he was different than any man I ever dated. Maybe because he's the only one I truly loved.

After another few rounds in the shower, we were exhausted and tired. By now, there were only 3 hours left until Brian left.

"Come down to the studio with me, I want to play you something." Brian sweetly said and took my hand, his tattooed fingers intertwining with my small ones. I followed him to the studio, which was basically empty now because all of his guitars were packed and ready to go. It made me sick seeing the room so empty and bare.

"Here. Sit." I obeyed him and sat down on the chair, him sitting across from me with a acoustic guitar sitting comfortably in his lap. He hasn't even strummed a chord and I'm already tearing up. "This is for you and Mel."

'I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head'

Brian's eyes were closed as he played Through Glass by Stone Sour, one of my favorite songs ever. My heart and chest began hurting from trying not to hug him and squeeze him. I love him more than anything, more than I could love another person. His voice was so calming, and so smooth that I could sit there forever and listen to him sing his heart out.
He sat there, strumming chords and singing his heart out. It was then that I realized how beautiful and kind-hearted he really is. Many fans and reporters call Brian a "asshole with a ego too big for him", but really, he is the most loving man I have ever met. He started playing the bridge and I could tell he was fighting back his own tears, just like me.

'And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you'

Tears were gushing down my face as he sang that line with so much emotion and love, I couldn't take it. When he finished, he placed his guitar down and I jumped into his lap, sobbing hysterically.

"I know that song is about someone's interpretation of someone else. I know a lot of people think I'm some up tight asshole, but you are the only person who truly sees me for who I am. You know the real me. To me, this song is about home. It's about being away from family and loved ones. It's a reminder of good times and a better time. It reminds me of my life with you. You are my home, Jess. You are my life." He wiped my tears and cooed things softly in my ear until I calmed down again.

"Better?" I nodded and kissed the corner of his mouth. "We have to go now. I leave in 45 minutes." I felt my stomach lurch as he said that.

"Okay." He helped me up and kissed me hard. We walked back up to the room and grabbed his suitcase and duffel bag. I put on my shoes and a jacket as Brian double checked his bags to make sure he had everything. I walked down to the door, Brian following me with his belongings in his hands.

"I'll close the door, I forgot my sunglasses." I lied. Brian knew I was lying but he decided to say nothing and walk to the car. Once he had his back turned, I walked back inside and took one last look around. The house was so empty without Brian. His clothes weren't everywhere. His guitars were all put away in cases. Just the presence of him seemed to disappear.

"Baby, we gotta go now if I'm not going to be late. Come on." I swallowed back my tears and put my sunglasses on to hide the tears forming in my eyes. I walked outside and we got in the car.

"Now, how about some good tunes on the drive over? How about...Sweet Child O'Mine?" We both smiled widely because ever since we were kids, this has always been our song. We knew the song like it was the back of our hand and we sang along with Axel Rose.

Without me even knowing it, we were pulling up to a warehouse with a huge tour bus in the front of it. It was massive. Outside of it stood Matt, Johnny, Jimmy, Zacky, Lacey, and Gena, and also Val. But she wasn't going either. She didn't feel like spending three months on a tour bus with 5 men that acted like children at times.

"Here we are, baby cakes. Come on...don't be sad, okay?" I nodded again and quickly jumped out, wrapping my arms around my mid-section, rubbing my stomach. I waited for Brian to get his bags. When he did, he wrapped an arm around me and we walked towards the bus. The rest of the guys and gals didn't notice us because they were too busy with trying to get everything ready to go.

"Awwww come on you fucker! Hurry your ass up! You're so fucking slow!" Matt yelled at Johnny who was having trouble lugging a huge bag onto the bus. I laughed at Matt and how he used his "authoritative" voice.

"About time you got here Haner, we leave in ten minutes. Hey Jess! Give me a hug!" Brian let me go as he walked over to the bus and helped the guys pack their bags into the carrier that was under the bus. I ran into Matt's arms and cried into his chest. "I know honey, I know. We'll be back in no time. You won't even know we are gone."

"I don't want him to go. I love him so much." I sniffled.

"I know you do, babes. And he loves you too. A lot. We'll be back in no time. Okay? Now don't cry because when Jimmy sees you cry-"

"What's wrong JessieBoo?" Jimmy pried me out of Matt's arms and hugged me tightly, but not to tight because of the baby.

"I don't want you guys to go. I don't want Brian to go."

"I'm so sorry JessieBoo. I wish you could come with us because I'm going to miss you so fucking much. But we will be back soon, okay? And when I get back, we are going to go shopping for my niece or nephew. Why haven't you told me that if he was a she or if she was a he?" Jimmy questioned me. I wiped my tears and laughed at him.

"I want it to be a surprise. If you behave on tour, I'll make sure to tell you when you get back, okay?" He nodded and kissed my cheek.

"Love you JessieBoo."

"Love you too Jimmy."

Jimmy ran onto the bus, leaving me standing alone. Matt and Val were hugging and talking to each other. Johnny, Lacey, Zacky, and Gena were running in and out of the bus.

"Boo." Brian said to me as his arms wrapped around me from behind, pulling me against his chest. "God, I'm going to miss you so much." I reached behind me and cupped his cheek, looking at everyone running around like chickens with no heads. Brian smiled and placed his hands on my pregnant belly. "Now Mel, you be good to mommy while I'm gone. Daddy loves you so so so much baby girl." He turned me around and stooped down, kissing my stomach, lingering there for a while.

"I'm madly I love with you, Brian Haner Jr. Probably more than anything in this world. Please, be safe and true to me." I whispered.

"Of course, Jess. I promise you."

"Gates! We gotta go man!" Matt yelled from the bus doors. Everyone was piling onto the bus, even Val. I looked at her and she smiled sympathetically. Matt must have persuaded her to go.

"I'll be there in a bit dude!" Brian yelled right back at him.

"Please keep yourself occupied while I'm gone. I don't want you being sad. Its not good for you, or the baby." Brian lectured me like a child. I just laughed at him and wrapped my arms around his middle, trying to remember his scent and how warm his body was.

"I'll see you in a few months Jess. My love, I'll miss you dearly."

"And I'll miss you more." Tears, once again, exacted my eyes before Brian kissed them away. He gave me last last hard kiss and took one last look at me, before letting go of my hands and slowly backing away.

I watched as he walked backwards towards the bus, our eyes never leaving each other. When he reached the door, he turned his back and stepped onto the bus, then finally glanced over his shoulder. I blew him a kiss. Brian smiled and waved with a sad smile.

'I love you.' He mouthed just before he stepped into the bus and the doors closed. The engine started as the huge monster of a tour bus pulled out and drove off to wherever.

"I love you more." I whispered to myself as I watched the bus slowly disappear in the distance.

Now, I will have to take care of myself and our child while he was away. He'll be back in no time. I don't need to worry, right? I turned on my heel and walked back to the car. I pushed my sunglasses over my eyes and drove back to the house with Iron Maiden filling the silence.

I'll see you soon, Bri.

Notes

a/n:
i suck. i know guys. ive been so busy. i had band and we played a lot of basketball games. i also had to bring my grades up so i didnt have my computer. its going to take me a while to write another chapter because softball practice starts monday.

love you guys