I Lost Me Long Ago

"YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE SULLIVAN!" Johnny was mad at Jimmy, for God only knows what this time. It was only their fifth fight of the day. But sure as always- the fight was over something unimportant and completely juvenile. At least it was something we could count on. Within the hour they would have forgotten about the whole thing- and be as thick as thieves all over again.

The show had gone great, even if I spent the whole two hours practically undressing Carsea with my eyes, in front of half of Oklahoma. The girl had the best spot in the house- something most fans would have likely kicked the poor girls teeth in for. But she didn't try to touch us. Not like the hundreds of others who had no chance in hell of reaching us- but for some reason still tried.

Instead she moved, gracefully, back and forth. From stage right, to stage left- stopping periodically in the center. Completely focused on her job. She probably took 200 photos, easy. While she did I watched her lips moved as she sang along softly, there were only two songs she put her camera down to fully enjoy. "Dear God," and "Seize the Day." Honestly I think she might have been crying durning the two songs.

I had to remind myself I was playing a show and I couldn't just jump down from the stage to console her. Although I definitely wanted to.

After the show I couldn't have been happier, but that didn't last long. We had the next three days off with nothing to do but an interview in Tulsa, tomorrow at 2pm. Which meant we had a clean schedule and I could sleep in the next few days with no worries at all.

We hadn't had a break from gigs in so long. It really puts a toll on you after a while.

I was more than content doing shows when I got to sleep in a full size bed every now and again, that wasn't tucked away in a cave. But five days of barely sleeping was really taking a lot out of me.

"Well I'm pretty sure its not as big a damn deal as the two of you fucks are making it out to be!" Zacky had once again decided he was going to play mediator to Jimmy and Johnny's childish fight. By the end of it Zacky would be pissed at the two of them for their completely stubbornness & refusal to make up. Ironically by the time Zack threw in the white flag the two brothers would finally be getting along again.

Zacky would only stay mad momentary. 10-15 minutes after he's "ritual-after show shots" he wouldn't care if he's head was purple and his hair was orange. He became completely carefree when he was drinking.

"Damn good crowd tonight wouldn't you say, Sanders?" Brian had walked up behind me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah man, I would say so."

"That hot piece of ass, photographer... interview... writer... Whatever the fuck you want to call her! Was pretty damn entertaining to watch. Even caught a peek or two under the shirt." He winked at me.

The term "hot piece of ass" turned my stomach. I was dying to punch him one good time for saying the whole damn sentence. There wasn't one word in it that didn't insult her. She was more than just a piece of ass, a photographer, or writer. She was Carsea.

Again I found myself realizing if it wasn't this girl, Carsea. If it wasn't this girl that reminded me of an injured little bird; I be making the same damn comments. She was beautiful, in every meaning of the word. Her hazel eyes and perfectly plump lips enticed me the whole set. I'm lucky I didn't pitch a damn tent right in from of all the fans.

That would have been a picture I'd never live down, if she had caught it.

At this point I was dying to know her. But it was now that all my happiness vanished- it was now that I came to the realization that moment I watcher her pack up her camera was probably the last time I would ever lay my eyes on her's again.

"Man, I'm going to take a shower and a quick nap. I'm fucking exhausted." I was fried, that small piece of reality hit me like a fucking bus, knocking whatever remaining energy I had right the hell out of me.

"Whatever, man. I'll come get you when we start packing." I had already started walking away from him, so I threw my hand up so he knew I hear what he said.

Sweat was dripping all over my face. Some of it even pooled around the corners of my eyes causing a burning sensation that I was getting thoroughly annoyed with. I spotted a clean towel on my way to the door which led off stage.

That would have to do for now.

Notes

Lemme know what you think, and as always if you find any problems in the story- let me know.

Also thanks to everyone who has Sub. so far! Whomever you are. Also for the votes. You have no idea how happy it makes me.

Also I'll be gone Friday-Sunday so I probably won't be posting for a while. But I did manage to post two chapters tonight, and I'll aim to do the same tomorrow.

How you guys are enjoying it so far. ^-^