I Lost Me Long Ago

It had been quite sometime since my last band interview. Even then it wasn't with a band this big, nor was it with a band I looked up to quite this much. I had been listening to Avenged Sevenfold for the past ten years.

This was going to be tricky. I spent the whole bus ride here trying to come up with a few personal questions to ask them. Josh likes it when we use more than just the list of questions he emails to us.

But I couldn't fathom how I would even speak to them, much less come up with my own questions to ask them. Josh would be lucky if I could even manage to ask his questions. I never should have said yes to that handsome man. Not that I've ever been able to say no.

I met up with a security guard at the gate and flashed him my laminated media crew badge. He waved me in and led me down to a room that was just right of the stage. He pushed the door open and nodded his head for me to enter.

"They'll be in to do the interview in a few minutes. Do you need anything?" He prompted as I walked past him and into the room. I glanced around for just a second, there wasn't much to see. It was a pretty plain room. White walls, beige carpet, light tan leather seating. As I whirled back around to look at him he had taken his hand off the door which was slowly closing.

He had already taken a few steps away. Fully intending for me to say I didn't need anything. Thankfully for the both of us, I truly didn't. Normally I would have asked for water, but as I spun around to face him a saw a water fountain and cups by the door.

I shook my head no and he finished his 180 and made off before the door completely closed. He probably would have taken off if I had said yes and acted as though he didn't see it. I sighed and sat my bag down next to the chair I would sit in and went to the fountain to get a cup of water.

I pulled my notepad out of my back pocket as I walked back to the chair, sipping on the water. I had already written the questions down that Josh had emailed to me on the bus ride. The quality of the handwriting wasn't the best. But what do you except when I'm writing on a moving bus. Let's just hope I can read it when its time to ask the questions.

As I scribbled down a few things on the last page I heard a bellowing sound from the door on the other side of the room. I looked up, wide eyed almost afraid for what might come rushing in. The door flung open and bounced off the wall behind it and back into the back of whomever that was looming in it.

At this point I could tell it was a taller man with someone on his back. There was loud laughter as well as screams and wailing noises. As the taller man turned around I caught a glimpse of the face of the man on his back.

It was Johnny Christ, the bands bassist. I smiled a bit, at least now the waiting was over. Johnny looked like he was holding on for dear life. His legs wrapped tightly around the man's waist. I looked up as he turned around complete and saw The Rev's glowing smile. He didn't even notice me he was too busy trying to claw the small man off his back.

He slammed Johnny into the door, bouncing the door off the wall again. Johnny let out a yell and Jimmy laughed. As he moved out of the way of the threshold I could see the rest of the members filing in behind one another. Synyster and Zacky were completely entertained with the war going on in front of them.

But as Matt entered the room, last, his gaze fell on me. His eyes met mine and in that moment I was sure I was melting. I could feel my whole body slipping out of the chair, my cheeks turned warm. I was blushing, I quickly turned my head down to my notepad and finished scribbling down the remainder of a book title on the last page.

I looked back up in time to catch Matt elbowing Synyster in the side and nodding his head toward me. As Synyster saw me the rest of them did as well. They calmed down almost instantly, Johnny slowly sliding of The Rev's back and landing on his feet.

I played with the edge of my scarf with one hand and waited for them to be seated. I had no earthly idea how I was about to pull any of this off. But I felt it might be a little easier if they weren't looming over me.

"Little hot for a scarf isn't it?" I was so lost in thought I didn't even realize who had spoken to me. I just looked down at my scarf and fiddled with it for a second.

"I just... I um... I... I almost always wear one." I replied as I looked back up. My eyes scanning their faces as I looked for the inquisitor.

"In 85 degree weather. I think the chances of it coming down to 40 are pretty slim." It was Synyster, he had such a calming voice. I found myself watching his lips as he spoke. It was some awkward ass thing I had done since, forever. Even though I had tried my best to stop, I still caught myself doing it from time to time.

"Well with this globe warming and all..." I cut myself off, I did not want this whole talk to be about weather. Matt cleared his throat and made his way over to the seats. He picked the one straight across from me. He watched me intently the entire time.

I kept an eye on him, peering from the corner of my eye to see if he was still watching me. He never broke his gaze. Jimmy bursted into laughed and it broke my concentration from Matt. I look away and toward Jimmy, who surprisingly was standing right next to me now.

Someone must have said something I didn't even hear, he wasn't even looking at me so it couldn't have been me. At this point that was all that mattered. He sat in the chair to the left of me, and Zacky too the one to the right. Synyster and Johnny filled the sides of the sofa next to Matt.

"So what's your name?" I turned my attention to a new voice, Zacky who was leaning in to his question rather deeply. As I turned his face was mere inches from mine, I thought I could faint right then and there.

"Car... Carsea, Carsea Massey." I eventually sputtered out, I looked away from him and down at my notepad. The only thing in the room that didn't send me into a vertigo attack. But he didn't move at first, and for a moment I could feel his breath through my hair and down my neck. Goosebumps covered my skin.

And then there was a deeper voice that practically resonated from across the room, I jumped a bit and look straight across to Matt. He had said something that I knew. I knew that voice anywhere, but problem was, I was so caught up in the moment with Zacky I had completely forgot to listen to the words.

He smiled at me, that perfect dimpled smile. And I just started at him blankly, finally he broke my complete idiocy with a small chuckle.

"Its a beautiful name." He said, the way he said it was obvious he was repeating the statement I missed priorly. I managed a thank you and tucked my head back down to the notepad.

"Seems someones a little to nervous for this." Johnny practically teased me, I didn't have too look up to tell it was him. Some how I knew he would be the one to hark on my awkwardness.

"First interview?" I looked up to find Synyster speaking to me now. No, the answer was no. In fact I had done about 10 interview in total. All of them though with smaller bands. None of them I was really that into. At most there was at least one band- I liked, but I only liked, one or two of their songs. All of them paled in comparison to Avenged Sevenfold.

But somehow I found myself more willing to lie and say yes, then admit that I was just a complete mess because I was in love with all of them. That's all it took to convince myself, it wasn't like they'd really care, right?

"Yeah, it is." I brought my hand up to the back of my neck and rub it a bit, giving off a soft smile. "I'm also not the best public speaker. Probably should have picked a different profession, huh?" All of the guys laughed, and it eased a lot of my tension.

"Least you're pushing past your fears." Synyster chuckled a bit more afterwards.

Matt was still watching me, not quite as intensely as before. He did manage to make a few glances at his fellow band members. But he practically made me feel like would catch on fire from his glaring. None of the other guys seemed to notice, so I tried to play it off.

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The questions were pretty standard. "What advice do you have for people who want to form their own bands?" "What has been your biggest challenge as a band? Have you been able to overcome that challenge? If so, how?" "How has your music evolved since you first began playing music together?"

The answers were all pretty much by the book, and nothing really shocked me. Either I already knew the answer from past interviews I had read, or watched on them. Or it was something that was just expected to be said.

What did shock me was for each question I asked them, and had one come right back at me in return. Where I was from, if I was really into the music, how I got to where I was... Which I might have smudge the answer on a little. I left out the information about how I was homeless, and a local band hired me to do their photography and mostly paid me by letting me sleep over on one member house or the other.

I just told them I worked with a local band, did their photography, and such. Eventually my manager found me and took me under his wing and today was the first day he let me do my own interview. I convinced myself they didn't need to hear my sob story.

As we finished up the guys started to make their way out of the room. Joking and playing around just as they came in. But Matt had hardly left his seat, he was just standing in front of the sofa, watching everything that was going on. He walked up to me and slipped a hand behind himself, obviously fishing something out of his back pocket.

"Did you get sent here with a backstage pass?" I shook my head no as he brought his arm back around hand held out another lament for my collection. "A few backstage photos might be pretty rad." I smiled at him and nodded. Josh would love it, that I knew.

"Thank you." I took the pass from his hand and watched as he walked away and out the door.

Notes

So I feel like this is way long. I love to hear that someone... anyone thinks different.

I also kinda hate it. Oh-the-well. Moving on. I gave it a R rating becauseeeee I know where I plan for it to go. It just hasn't reached there yet.

Originally I had this chapter written out totally different, but my laptop crashed and I had to start over. So I took the liberty of completely rethinking what I wrote.

Lemme know what you think. :D

Carsea's Outfit
& Make up

(again lemme know if you find wording problems. I tend to over look them no matter how much I re-read)