Help Me Fly

The dinner was fulling and satisfying to everyone. The aroma of spices was still in the air in the kitchen and very faint in the dinning room. The sun had set, the stars were out. Ivy was currently on the back porch staring into the pitch black that surrounded her house. The only light was the one glowing from the house behind her. The stars that speckled the sky gave off an effect of lighting bugs trapped there. Like stuck in jell-o. The temperature was starting to drop a few degrees; it was always colder in the country. Air was free to move around with ease; where as in the city was harder to catch a breeze.

Shivering slightly, in only a t-shirt and torn jeans, Ivy did not know she had a guest to watch the stars with. She was lost in her thoughts that she had so many questions, but was afraid to ask them. She was afraid of who to ask.

Would she be a good mother without her husband? Would she be able to continue to be financially stable as he had showed he how to all these years? What if she woke up one day and everything he taught her would be gone? Like her memory had been wiped clean of him overnight? Could she wait? Could she just sit out here, his favorite place, and wait for him? After everything the past few months, Ivy felt as if he was still around. That he would pull in the drive way on his motorcycle.

At his wake, the closed coffin put no peace in her mind. While she stayed after everyone had left, sitting alone in the viewing room. Hand placed on his coffin, head bowed waiting for him to appear from another room to take her away from there. Even after her dad had to come and take her away she spoke no words. Silently weeping as she watched behind her fathers back as they pushed the rented coffin to the crematorium. She felt no more tears, knowing that they were truly there.

Trying to claw at her chest to see if her broken heart was in pieces, she struggled out of her fathers grasp, running past her brother, her friends, her family she ran down to the basement. Passing and dodging all the outstretched arms frantically grabbing at her so she would not see the sight that awaited.

Half way down the stairs, she stopped. There right in front of her, 20 feet away. A man in his 50’s the director of the funeral home, her husbands coffin open, pushed up to the awaiting small closed in incinerator.

But what stopped her, what caused her heart to combust into flames, was the sight in the open coffin. Now she knew why everyone did not want her down here. The man she loved. The man she gave everything up for. The man she gave her world up to be with, to love. To have, was laying, still. His skin was blue, like the sky. His veins showed his lips almost white.His beautiful hair pulled back neatly into a pony tail. In his hands that were folded softly over his chest, was a single flower. A white calla lily, her favorite flower. Standing still, she screamed in pain. Pain for her lost love. Pain that she would never see him again. Have him hold her anymore. Stroke her face softly as she drifted off into sleep. Hold her hand as she got another tattoo.

Watching, she saw him disappear. Why would he go away again, she just saw him? The director had heard her screams, and quickly for her sanity closed the coffin. Hoping she would not see any damage that accident had done to the young man. But he knew she had saw it but her screams.

Not feeling the arms scoop her up, feeling the warm skin on her cold skin. Not hearing the voice of her dad as he took her away form the sight of her fallen love. She buried her face into his chest. Not seeing the sullen faces of all their family, friends around. Hoping that she had been stopped in time. The screams that had echoed had proven them all wrong.

Jerking her self out of the horrid memory, she felt a jack draped over her shoulders. The night sky light up a silhouette of one of the many guys that was occupying in ‘our’ home. Not saying anything, the figure sat next to her, wrapping and arm around her shoulders she leaned forward and cried, again. She was tired of crying but could not stop. She was tied of waiting, crying, hoping.

So much clouded her mind, she felt like a jumbled mess.

No words still spoken, the arms picked her up and moved her inside. Not looking up, she kept her head bowed ashamed that she was still crying. She did not know where she was being taken to, but she had a feeling.

The arms, whom she did not know belonged to, laid her down on top of a soft blanket. The smell of cologne filled her air way. She was in her bed, on his side. Clutching his pillow as a teddy bear she buried her face into his second on, taking a deep breath. A small smile graced her face. She felt home. But the emptiness was still there.

A second blanket was put on top of her, as she slowly drifted off into sleep. Finally wanting to sleep, she relaxed her body, eyes closed.

She drifted away.

Notes

I hope you all enjoy this story, when i write some of these chapters, like this one, i think of my own husband (george) and the emotions just come flooding. and yes my Geo is still alive, and i thank every day that he is still with me.