Come Back to Me
IV
I pushed my food around my plate, ignoring the conversation between my parents. They’d already tried to get me to tell them what was wrong; all I’d claimed was the typical, believable “boy trouble.” Jimmy was at one of the guys’ house. I was glad for that. I knew that, had he been home, I would have stood no chance in keeping my problem a secret. He’d always been the one I could, and would, tell everything to, no matter what.
He’d brought Marie over for dinner two nights previous, and my parents had immediately approved. Not like I blamed them. She’d treated our mother with the utmost respect, even helping clean up the kitchen and was the dishes. Our dad had thought she was good at keeping Jimmy a bit more grounded. I was ecstatic that my brother had finally found someone who made him genuinely happy.
“Damiana? Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve barely touched your dinner.”
“Yea, I’m fine. But, um, may I be excused? Alex is having a sleepover tonight.”
“Go ahead. Be home by four tomorrow. Your aunt’s coming over.”
“Great.”
I hugged my jacket tighter to my body as I walked along the sidewalk. Though the sun had just fallen below the horizon, the temperature was already dropping. The five blocks to my friend’s apartment seemed to stretch on forever; finally, I arrived and pressed the buzzer. Her voice came over the intercom.
“Identify yourself.”
“Stripper-gram!”
“Come on up, Dami!”
Elliot opened the door, and I laughed at the sight of the living room. A thick comforter had been spread across the floor, a mountain of puffy pillows piled on top. Bags of chips sat off to one side, and two cases of cherry Coke rested, stacked, against the wall. Alex had already loaded Edward Scissorhands into the DVD player. I headed toward the bathroom to change into a pair of cotton short that I’d found in her dresser drawer. By the time I entered the living room again, Ell and Al were laying down on the makeshift bed, and I joined them. The movie was our absolute favourite, even more so than Queen of the Damned. We could quote every line, act out the scenes. And we always had the same reaction to Joyce: utter disgust and insane laughter at her expense.
When the film ended, Alex asked the one question I was hoping to avoid:
“So what’s going on with you, Dami? You’ve been out of it for almost a week and a half.”
“Um, nothing. Just been doing some thinking,” I muttered, shrugging and taking a sip of my soda.
“I call bullshit.”
“What? I really have been!”
“About?”
“I need a job. I’m tired of being broke. And I really fucking miss my car!”
Elliot laughed along with me. “I bet. But don’t act like we don’t know you better than that. What else is on your mind?”
“Just…I’m confused, I guess.” At their prodding looks, I sighed. “Remember the bonfire on the beach? Well, after you all left, Brian told me about his breakup with Hannah, and then he kissed me. No, no, not a real kiss. He kissed my forehead. But it was weird.”
“Don’t read too much into it. It–“
“Has he ever done that before?” interrupted Ell.
“No, which is what made it so odd. Usually, it’s a hug, and off he goes.”
“Seriously, you two. Stop thinking so much before you hurt yourselves. He more than likely didn’t mean anything by it. Besides, he’s already dating someone anyway.”
“I know,” I forced myself to laugh. “It just threw me for a loop, is all.”
Thankfully, the girls let the subject drop after that, apparently satisfied that I no longer had a secret. I sighed softly and attempted to focus on the next movie.
.:.
I quickly did up the buttons on my black blouse and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. It was my first day at my new job – a freelance photographer had steadily been gaining new business and now needed a receptionist to keep the appointment book organised. He’d hired me almost immediately after I’d replied to the ad. My mother had made a big deal out of it; all Dad said was “That’s my girl. Just don’t let him make you feel uncomfortable.” I grabbed the purse I rarely found use for and headed down the stairs. Jimmy stood by the front door, swinging his keys around his index finger.
“Come on. You’re riding with me.”
“Alright. Bye, Mom!”
The ride to the studio was full of music but no conversation. I knew my brother had something on his mind, and it was only a matter of time before he spoke up. He patted my hand and gave me a small smile, and I stepped out of the car. Nerves made my stomach clench, but I steeled myself and walked toward the front door.
The day passed relatively quickly. There were only a few mishaps, but other than that, my shift was smooth. Darren led a small group into the lobby with a smile, handed me a sheet of paper with the order on it, and disappeared back to where the equipment was set up. One of the guys in the group grinned when I cursed under my breath at getting a paper-cut as I filed away the order.
“Oh, sorry. I really should watch my language, huh.”
“Probably, but I don’t mind. I’m Bobby.”
“Um, I’m Damiana.”
“Nice to meet you. So, uh, I know this is really random, and probably incredibly creepy, but would you wanna go out for dinner some time?”
I bit my lip. I knew that this could potentially turn around to bite me in the ass, but I figured the best way to get rid of the confusion over Brian was to occupy my mind with something else. “Yea, that sounds good. Let me write down my number for you.”
They all left, and I sighed. Finally, Darren packed up his bags, and I stepped outside while he locked up. He flashed me a smile.
“You did really well, keeping up with everything today. Ready for more tomorrow?”
“Yea, I really am! Oh, there’s my brother. Thanks, again, for hiring me.”
“Thanks for actually applying!”
.:.
“So let me get this straight. You have a date?”
“Don’t sound so incredulous, Alex. You know I am very well capable of dating.”
“Yet you went without dating anyone for two years before Carter, and you’re just now starting to date again after what that jackass did?”
“Oh, shut up.” I tossed a piece of General Tsao’s chicken across the table at her. “Ell, wanna give me some backup?”
“I’m glad you’re finally going out, Dami. Does Jimmy know?”
“Yep. I already told him when he picked me up after work. He’s happy that I’m moving on past Carter.”
When Elliot dropped me off at my house once we were done with dinner, she leaned over and stopped me from shutting the passenger door. “I’m really sorry about Alex.”
“It’s fine. I know how she gets. She’s a wee bit nuts when it comes to silly shit like that.”
I smiled softly and pushed the door closed. I stepped inside the house, locking the door behind me, and slipped off my beat-up Chucks. I could hear a shuffling and clacking coming down the dark hallway towards me; though I knew who – or rather, what – it was, I didn’t want to make any sudden moves. Then came the unmistakable sound of a pit bull starting to growl a warning.
“Loretta, it’s just me. It’s Mama.”
My dog suddenly lunged at me, whipping my legs with her tail, as she began licking my face. She followed me to my bedroom, jumped up on my bed, and watched while I pulled off my jeans and hoodie. The unmistakable smell of freshly-bathed dog assaulted my nostrils when Loretta curled up against me with her head on the spare pillow. I covered us both with my comforter and kissed between her ears.
“Mama missed you so much, baby girl, but I bet you had all kinds of fun at Auntie Cheyanne’s, huh? But guess what. Mama ain’t giving you up again.”
I slowly fell asleep, still absentmindedly petting Loretta’s soft fur.
.:.
The jazz bar was so far from what I was expecting, but to be fair, I didn’t really know much of Bobby’s personality or preferences. When his green eyes glanced over at me, a hopeful glint in them, I forced a smile and allowed him to lead me to a small table near the stage. Once the waiter had taken our orders, I bit my lip.
“So what else do you have planned for tonight?”
“Well, I was thinking that I’d keep that a surprise.”
“Oh, right. That sounds good then.”
Conversation was very sparse between the two of us, but he didn’t seem to mind; instead, his attention seemed to be on the food and the music. I pulled my phone out from under the table and opened a new text message to Elliot. It was a safety precaution for us: Whoever was on a date would text the other with the location, just in case it somehow turned into a date from Hell. Finally, Bobby paid for our meals, and we walked to the door. I was caught off guard when he walked in the direction opposite of his car. A lick of apprehension wound itself through my nerves, but I followed anyway. This decision proved to be regrettable once I saw our next destination: the new art gallery that had just opened up. I groaned. I loved art, and I found it to be absolutely wonderful, but that didn’t mean I wanted to spend God knew how long staring at paintings and sculptures. It was going to be a long night.
“I had such a wonderful night tonight. Thank you for coming with me.”
“Um, not a problem. I had fun, too.”
We were now standing on my front porch, and Bobby smiled at me. Minutes passed before he leaned down and barely brushed his lips against mine, murmuring a goodnight. I knew my jaw was on the ground as he got into his car and drove away. What the Hell kind of goodnight-kiss was that? My phone rang from the pocket of my cropped jacket; I tapped Talk and pressed the phone to my ear.
“Hello?”
“How was the date?”
“It was fine. We went to that jazz bar, and then he took me to the new art gallery.”
“Really? But you don’t really like either of those things.”
“It’s alright. It was a good date anyway.”
“Good isn’t good enough. You know that.”
“Ell, you’re starting to sound like Alex. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”
I hung up before she could answer. Loretta was already laying at the foot of my bed by the time I entered my room. Without even changing, I flopped down onto the mattress and fell asleep.
.:.
Matt wrapped an arm around my shoulder, hugging me into his side. “Heard you had a date the other night.”
“Yea.”
“Doesn’t sound like it went too well.”
“Matt…he took me to a jazz bar. And an art gallery. And hardly even kissed me goodnight. Of course it went spectacularly.”
He laughed as I walked away. Tanya and Marie entered the backyard through the patio door, and I saw Jimmy immediately rise to his feet to embrace his girlfriend tightly – as if he hadn’t seen her in weeks, instead of the four hours she’d been in class. I waved at the girls and stared around the yard until I saw the coolers. I grabbed a beer from the ice, opened it, and took a deep swig of the amber liquid. Mattie B and Jason’s voices carried through to the people gathered outside before they even appeared in the doorway, each with bottles of more alcohol in their hands. Jason lifted the Jack up so that I could see it clearly, and I grinned widely. He had to have heard about my date and was trying to make me feel better with my favourite liquor. I had to admit that it would more than likely work. Johnny shoved me lightly, playfully, and grabbed a beer from the cooler. And that’s when I saw Brian. I almost smiled at him until I realised he was standing at an awkward angle; his left hand was reaching behind him. Then it hit me: He was leading someone out to the party. She came into view not even five seconds later, smiling at something he was saying to her. She was Brian’s new girlfriend.
My heart plummeted to the ground at my feet, and my stomach churned and boiled. I felt like someone was squeezing my throat and freezing my lungs, cutting off the supply of air. It was as if someone had splashed me in the face with a bucketful of fire – my cheeks were that hot. And, right there in front of everyone, I felt like throwing up.
He’d brought Marie over for dinner two nights previous, and my parents had immediately approved. Not like I blamed them. She’d treated our mother with the utmost respect, even helping clean up the kitchen and was the dishes. Our dad had thought she was good at keeping Jimmy a bit more grounded. I was ecstatic that my brother had finally found someone who made him genuinely happy.
“Damiana? Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve barely touched your dinner.”
“Yea, I’m fine. But, um, may I be excused? Alex is having a sleepover tonight.”
“Go ahead. Be home by four tomorrow. Your aunt’s coming over.”
“Great.”
I hugged my jacket tighter to my body as I walked along the sidewalk. Though the sun had just fallen below the horizon, the temperature was already dropping. The five blocks to my friend’s apartment seemed to stretch on forever; finally, I arrived and pressed the buzzer. Her voice came over the intercom.
“Identify yourself.”
“Stripper-gram!”
“Come on up, Dami!”
Elliot opened the door, and I laughed at the sight of the living room. A thick comforter had been spread across the floor, a mountain of puffy pillows piled on top. Bags of chips sat off to one side, and two cases of cherry Coke rested, stacked, against the wall. Alex had already loaded Edward Scissorhands into the DVD player. I headed toward the bathroom to change into a pair of cotton short that I’d found in her dresser drawer. By the time I entered the living room again, Ell and Al were laying down on the makeshift bed, and I joined them. The movie was our absolute favourite, even more so than Queen of the Damned. We could quote every line, act out the scenes. And we always had the same reaction to Joyce: utter disgust and insane laughter at her expense.
When the film ended, Alex asked the one question I was hoping to avoid:
“So what’s going on with you, Dami? You’ve been out of it for almost a week and a half.”
“Um, nothing. Just been doing some thinking,” I muttered, shrugging and taking a sip of my soda.
“I call bullshit.”
“What? I really have been!”
“About?”
“I need a job. I’m tired of being broke. And I really fucking miss my car!”
Elliot laughed along with me. “I bet. But don’t act like we don’t know you better than that. What else is on your mind?”
“Just…I’m confused, I guess.” At their prodding looks, I sighed. “Remember the bonfire on the beach? Well, after you all left, Brian told me about his breakup with Hannah, and then he kissed me. No, no, not a real kiss. He kissed my forehead. But it was weird.”
“Don’t read too much into it. It–“
“Has he ever done that before?” interrupted Ell.
“No, which is what made it so odd. Usually, it’s a hug, and off he goes.”
“Seriously, you two. Stop thinking so much before you hurt yourselves. He more than likely didn’t mean anything by it. Besides, he’s already dating someone anyway.”
“I know,” I forced myself to laugh. “It just threw me for a loop, is all.”
Thankfully, the girls let the subject drop after that, apparently satisfied that I no longer had a secret. I sighed softly and attempted to focus on the next movie.
.:.
I quickly did up the buttons on my black blouse and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. It was my first day at my new job – a freelance photographer had steadily been gaining new business and now needed a receptionist to keep the appointment book organised. He’d hired me almost immediately after I’d replied to the ad. My mother had made a big deal out of it; all Dad said was “That’s my girl. Just don’t let him make you feel uncomfortable.” I grabbed the purse I rarely found use for and headed down the stairs. Jimmy stood by the front door, swinging his keys around his index finger.
“Come on. You’re riding with me.”
“Alright. Bye, Mom!”
The ride to the studio was full of music but no conversation. I knew my brother had something on his mind, and it was only a matter of time before he spoke up. He patted my hand and gave me a small smile, and I stepped out of the car. Nerves made my stomach clench, but I steeled myself and walked toward the front door.
The day passed relatively quickly. There were only a few mishaps, but other than that, my shift was smooth. Darren led a small group into the lobby with a smile, handed me a sheet of paper with the order on it, and disappeared back to where the equipment was set up. One of the guys in the group grinned when I cursed under my breath at getting a paper-cut as I filed away the order.
“Oh, sorry. I really should watch my language, huh.”
“Probably, but I don’t mind. I’m Bobby.”
“Um, I’m Damiana.”
“Nice to meet you. So, uh, I know this is really random, and probably incredibly creepy, but would you wanna go out for dinner some time?”
I bit my lip. I knew that this could potentially turn around to bite me in the ass, but I figured the best way to get rid of the confusion over Brian was to occupy my mind with something else. “Yea, that sounds good. Let me write down my number for you.”
They all left, and I sighed. Finally, Darren packed up his bags, and I stepped outside while he locked up. He flashed me a smile.
“You did really well, keeping up with everything today. Ready for more tomorrow?”
“Yea, I really am! Oh, there’s my brother. Thanks, again, for hiring me.”
“Thanks for actually applying!”
.:.
“So let me get this straight. You have a date?”
“Don’t sound so incredulous, Alex. You know I am very well capable of dating.”
“Yet you went without dating anyone for two years before Carter, and you’re just now starting to date again after what that jackass did?”
“Oh, shut up.” I tossed a piece of General Tsao’s chicken across the table at her. “Ell, wanna give me some backup?”
“I’m glad you’re finally going out, Dami. Does Jimmy know?”
“Yep. I already told him when he picked me up after work. He’s happy that I’m moving on past Carter.”
When Elliot dropped me off at my house once we were done with dinner, she leaned over and stopped me from shutting the passenger door. “I’m really sorry about Alex.”
“It’s fine. I know how she gets. She’s a wee bit nuts when it comes to silly shit like that.”
I smiled softly and pushed the door closed. I stepped inside the house, locking the door behind me, and slipped off my beat-up Chucks. I could hear a shuffling and clacking coming down the dark hallway towards me; though I knew who – or rather, what – it was, I didn’t want to make any sudden moves. Then came the unmistakable sound of a pit bull starting to growl a warning.
“Loretta, it’s just me. It’s Mama.”
My dog suddenly lunged at me, whipping my legs with her tail, as she began licking my face. She followed me to my bedroom, jumped up on my bed, and watched while I pulled off my jeans and hoodie. The unmistakable smell of freshly-bathed dog assaulted my nostrils when Loretta curled up against me with her head on the spare pillow. I covered us both with my comforter and kissed between her ears.
“Mama missed you so much, baby girl, but I bet you had all kinds of fun at Auntie Cheyanne’s, huh? But guess what. Mama ain’t giving you up again.”
I slowly fell asleep, still absentmindedly petting Loretta’s soft fur.
.:.
The jazz bar was so far from what I was expecting, but to be fair, I didn’t really know much of Bobby’s personality or preferences. When his green eyes glanced over at me, a hopeful glint in them, I forced a smile and allowed him to lead me to a small table near the stage. Once the waiter had taken our orders, I bit my lip.
“So what else do you have planned for tonight?”
“Well, I was thinking that I’d keep that a surprise.”
“Oh, right. That sounds good then.”
Conversation was very sparse between the two of us, but he didn’t seem to mind; instead, his attention seemed to be on the food and the music. I pulled my phone out from under the table and opened a new text message to Elliot. It was a safety precaution for us: Whoever was on a date would text the other with the location, just in case it somehow turned into a date from Hell. Finally, Bobby paid for our meals, and we walked to the door. I was caught off guard when he walked in the direction opposite of his car. A lick of apprehension wound itself through my nerves, but I followed anyway. This decision proved to be regrettable once I saw our next destination: the new art gallery that had just opened up. I groaned. I loved art, and I found it to be absolutely wonderful, but that didn’t mean I wanted to spend God knew how long staring at paintings and sculptures. It was going to be a long night.
“I had such a wonderful night tonight. Thank you for coming with me.”
“Um, not a problem. I had fun, too.”
We were now standing on my front porch, and Bobby smiled at me. Minutes passed before he leaned down and barely brushed his lips against mine, murmuring a goodnight. I knew my jaw was on the ground as he got into his car and drove away. What the Hell kind of goodnight-kiss was that? My phone rang from the pocket of my cropped jacket; I tapped Talk and pressed the phone to my ear.
“Hello?”
“How was the date?”
“It was fine. We went to that jazz bar, and then he took me to the new art gallery.”
“Really? But you don’t really like either of those things.”
“It’s alright. It was a good date anyway.”
“Good isn’t good enough. You know that.”
“Ell, you’re starting to sound like Alex. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”
I hung up before she could answer. Loretta was already laying at the foot of my bed by the time I entered my room. Without even changing, I flopped down onto the mattress and fell asleep.
.:.
Matt wrapped an arm around my shoulder, hugging me into his side. “Heard you had a date the other night.”
“Yea.”
“Doesn’t sound like it went too well.”
“Matt…he took me to a jazz bar. And an art gallery. And hardly even kissed me goodnight. Of course it went spectacularly.”
He laughed as I walked away. Tanya and Marie entered the backyard through the patio door, and I saw Jimmy immediately rise to his feet to embrace his girlfriend tightly – as if he hadn’t seen her in weeks, instead of the four hours she’d been in class. I waved at the girls and stared around the yard until I saw the coolers. I grabbed a beer from the ice, opened it, and took a deep swig of the amber liquid. Mattie B and Jason’s voices carried through to the people gathered outside before they even appeared in the doorway, each with bottles of more alcohol in their hands. Jason lifted the Jack up so that I could see it clearly, and I grinned widely. He had to have heard about my date and was trying to make me feel better with my favourite liquor. I had to admit that it would more than likely work. Johnny shoved me lightly, playfully, and grabbed a beer from the cooler. And that’s when I saw Brian. I almost smiled at him until I realised he was standing at an awkward angle; his left hand was reaching behind him. Then it hit me: He was leading someone out to the party. She came into view not even five seconds later, smiling at something he was saying to her. She was Brian’s new girlfriend.
My heart plummeted to the ground at my feet, and my stomach churned and boiled. I felt like someone was squeezing my throat and freezing my lungs, cutting off the supply of air. It was as if someone had splashed me in the face with a bucketful of fire – my cheeks were that hot. And, right there in front of everyone, I felt like throwing up.
Notes
Is 2,192 words enough for everybody? hah. I had a lot of fun with this chapter, yet I got severely pissed at myself for the moments of writer's block I had while writing it. d: Enjoy!xo
4/7/13