Soft laughter woke me up the next morning, and I groaned. When I glanced around, I could see why whoever it was, was snickering from the doorway: Alex had her legs tangled up in mine and was halfway off the bed, and Elliot was curved around me with her face pressed against the back of my shoulder and her arm wrapped tightly around my chest. They barely moved as I crawled my way off the mattress. My brother met me in the hall.

“Did you guys sleep well?”

“Just fine.”

He raised an eyebrow and gazed at me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Jimmy.”

“Jimmy? No Jim-bone?”

“Nope.”

The guys were on the back patio when I stepped outside in my yellow and pink Hello Kitty pyjama set. Zacky let out a protest when I grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the table, but he fell silent when the box hit his forehead after I threw them at him. I walked to the edge of our pool and dipped my feet into the water. An inked hand inched around my face, sparking up a lighter and putting the flame to the end of my cigarette. I breathed in the nicotine-filled smoke, held it in my lungs, and finally expelled it as soon as the burning in my chest got to be a bit more than I could bear.

“Are you alright?”

“Yea, I'm fine,” I muttered, barely sparing Johnny a glance. “Just a bit frustrated.”

“Why?”

“If I bother telling you that, then you’ll feel bad, and I really don’t want that.”

“Dami…”

“I just don’t see why Jimmy couldn’t have stayed home last night. I hadn’t seen him in months, while you guys got to be with him every day, but once you all were home, he left to go hang out with you. And I just don’t understand it.”

“Ah. I'm sorry. Why don’t you tell him that? He’s beyond confused, and you know your brother when he gets confused.”

“I know. I’ll tell him eventually. Thanks, shorty.”

“No problem. So, we’re having a bonfire tonight.”

“You know I’ll be there. I always am.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a sideways hug. When he walked away, I finished my cigarette, rose to my feet, and padded inside to the kitchen. I found Zacky and Matt battling each other in a wrestling video game in the living room, while Jimmy and Brian were yelling out suggestions as to which moves would be best to defeat the opponent. I poked my brother in the back of his head, grinning when he yelped. I plopped down onto the couch between Johnny and Brian.

.:.

The trek down to the beach took less than five minutes. There was already a pile of driftwood off to one side, and I could see the guys already in the middle of an intense game of football. A laugh forced itself from my lungs. A small group of people at the water’s edge caught my attention, and I immediately began running toward them. Alex, Elliot, and Tanya were sitting in the sand, soaking up the rest of the afternoon sun. Sitting next to Tanya was an unfamiliar girl; I gave my best friends an inquisitive look as I plopped down beside Ell.

“Hey, Tanya. Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Marie! Marie, this is Jimmy’s sister, Dami.”

We exchanged pleasantries, before I turned to Alex. “You all staying tonight?”

“Unfortunately, no. I have to work early in the morning.”

“I wish. I’ve got auditions tomorrow.”

“So I get about an hour and a half with my girls before you disappear like two modern-day Cinderellas?”

I decided to strip off my Metallica tank-top and white shorts, exposing my light blue bikini, and ran into the waves. The ocean swallowed me up within an instant as I submerged myself completely. The others girls joined me after a few moments; we floated in the water and watched the boys continue playing their game. I gazed over at Marie.

“You trying to hook up with my brother?”

“Not hook up, no. But I wouldn’t say no to getting to know him.”

“Screw him over, I’ll kill you.”

She shot me an almost frightened stare, and I laughed at her expression. It took a couple minutes for her to speak to me again after that. I only hoped that Tanya would explain the whole situation to her when they left, which they did a short while later. The sun dipped below the horizon, and I pulled on my shorts and the hoodie I’d brought to the shore with me; Matt started lighting the bonfire. He flashed me a dimpled grin and sat beside me. We sat in silence as the flames began licking the sky. It wasn’t until Brian arrived at my side that I realised he’d been missing from the group. Johnny called Matt over to help with carrying the alcohol; I smiled at my friend, and he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

“Hannah and I really weren’t compatible any more. She wanted more than I was willing or ready to give. She needed someone there more than I could be. She didn’t blame me for it, though. She said she knew that music was my first love, and nothing could change that. There was no hate from either of us. It just…it happened, ya know?”

“I'm sorry, Bri.”

“Oh, don’t be. It’s alright. She really did deserve better than how I treated her. I knew she was getting lonely, but I figured I’d make up for it when I got home. This was the best thing for us. At least we got it done now before it got too ugly and full of hate.”

“I guess that’s true. Well…you know I'm always here for you, right?”

“Yea. Thanks.”

His quick brush of a kiss against my temple, though friendly in nature, sent sparks through my entire body. I stumbled to my feet and hurried toward the beers that Jason, Matt, and Johnny had just dropped to the sand. I’d just been shocked, and nothing would help me get over that quicker than drinking.

.:.

It really wasn’t fair. Since that night at the beach, my mind had been stuck on Brian’s lips on my skin. I knew that it had meant nothing to him – after all, I was just his best friend’s baby sister. He had shown no inclination that it had meant anything to him, and so I’d never brought it up to him. I hadn’t even told Alex or Elliot what had happened. I already knew how they would react.

We were in the mall, a few days after the beach bonfire, and I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything. Even Jimmy and Johnny’s antics weren’t keeping me from my own mind. Our group had just passed a post-grunge shop when a squeal came from inside. We all turned to see a dark-haired, bright-eyed woman about my brother’s age come rushing out of the store. She stopped suddenly in front of us, blushing profusely at her eagerness, and stuttered out a request for autographs. As the guys started joking around, she visibly began loosening up, and I bit my lip when her flirting became directed toward Brian. I couldn’t take more than a couple minutes of it before I needed to make an escape.

My feet created their own path to the nearest coffee shop where I purchased a caramel frappé. Once I found a seat, I allowed my head to drop to the table with a loud thud. It was nearly five minutes later when I felt a presence beside me. I glanced up to see Zacky.

“You alright?”

“Yea. Peachy.”

“Then why did you run off like that?”

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. “I'm just so tired of dealing with girls throwing themselves at-at you guys.”

“It comes with the territory, I'm afraid to say.”

“I know. It just gets incredibly old.”

“I understand. We’d better get back to the guys, though. I told them I’d come find you and bring you back.”

“Fine.”

Jimmy hugged me tightly and ambled out to his car. He had decided to go to Tanya's with Matt to hang out with the girls. I grabbed my hoodie off the back of the couch, slipped my flip-flops onto my feet, and headed out the back door. The moon lit up the sand, illuminating a path straight to the dark waters. I plopped down onto the beach. My mind kept replaying the conversation from Brian after we’d arrived at the house from our shopping adventure. Judging by his tone, he was more than excited for his upcoming date with Leslie, the overeager girl from earlier in the mall. I wasn’t sure what to think of my feelings regarding anything that had occurred in the past week. The tears began before I could even comprehend what was really happening.

Notes

The bathing suits (I know, I didn't really describe them at all, but I like giving some sort of visual)

Dami's outfit